ANA Y4 D64

Worked on putting my clothes away yesterday after real work was done. Have a second bag's worth of donations in progress. I am organizing everything, trying on stuff, and being very selective about what I keep. Making some good headway. Feel good about things.

Got my new mouthpiecce yesterday. Wore it last night. I slept pretty good with it in. My head is clear so far this morning. I also heard back from ENT asking a bunch of questions. I gave them a HUGE response. Let's see how it goes from here.

Vet appointment this morning then more real work stuff. Week is almost over. 

ANA Y4 D63

Took me all day but I got the new wardrobe built. I sneak worked on it during the day, worked solid on it from 7-10pm. But I am very proud of the results:

 

Now to put all the clothes back and make it mine. I am so excited to go through more clothes and get rid of more. Weird sentence but yeah. I did some other work during the day. Made lamb chops for dinner. Off to the dentist this morning for a cavity fix (their fault) and my new mouth guard! 

ANA Y4 D62

Yesterday I got to see first hand the power of "being nice". Not that I did anything I did for the rewards. it was just because it was the right thing to do. Heck, if I were religious I would say that this is what following the teachings means and seeing the benefit directly. What am I talking about? Sit back and listen.

First off it was hot as fuck yesterday. Like 104 at one point. With 90% humidity. You went outside and you swam in your own breath. It was bad. My new wardrobe for the closet room arrived. It was setup for doorstep delivery. I greeted both of the guys with bottles of water. I also told them you are unloading 337lbs of stuff for me, you will take this cash. I gave them like $10 as it was all I had on me. Well guess what? Dorrstep turned into living room. I didn't ask for it, I didn't expect it. But showing kindess comes back to you my friends.

Later in the day we had the guy from the duct cleaning service come and give us an estimate. I also made him leave with two bottles of water. After he gave me his estimate I asked if there were any coupons online or anything. He said unfortunately not as this is their busy season. Fair enough. When he sent over the formal estimate later, $50 discount with a note "Thank you for the water". Again, I didn't ask for it, I didn't expect anything. Needless to say, we will be having our ducts cleaned August 7th. He got the business, I got a little bit of a break (almost 10% discount), and we all got to see the good in each other for a brief shining moment. 

Point? Be nice. It costs you nothing. Maybe it will come back to you, maybe it won't. But at least you're leaving a positive vibe and making someone smile even if it is just for a moment.

I worked in the closet room. Should be able to start building today. I threw out more old underwear, added more to the donation bag and fully eliminated one dresser. Felt good. I had a 2 hour meeting with my boss to plan some stuff. I made crepes for dinner. 

Even though I had ear troubles, I made the best of it and had a pretty darn good day. 

ANA Y4 D61

Something in the office is triggering my ears. I was fine when I woke up but 10 minutes after sitting in here they kicked in. WTF?

Decent day. Went on two walks, both short because 100+ degrees outside. Made ribs. Nothing else going on. Have a guy coming today to quote the duct cleaning, new wardrobe being delivered. Busy Monday. 

ANA Y4 D60

I seriously cleaned yesterday. I know I have been saying "I cleaned" every day lately and it's true. Every day I am sweeping and wiping down dog hair. Yesterday I pulled everything out and did a serious clean. Same stuff just more intense. It seems to be working. I am at 24 hours with minor to no issues. For the most part my head was silent yesterday. Some little faint noise at times, but not enough that it caused me the pain I have been having. I do think having the ducts cleaned as well will go a long way to helping me. I am hoping to hear back from the doctor on Monday. Everything I can do, I am doing. Mouthguard, cleaning, doctors. Everything. Because going through all this is better than the alternative.

I made pizza dough from Seymour yesterday. Came out pretty good when we went to make them later in the night. Not perfect, but I learned what to do different next time (more flour for pizzas, longer rest time in the fridge). We were happy in general. I took dog for a walk. We played some video games. Watched some esports and a live streamer we like. In general yesterday was how life should be. Quiet, calm, and uneventful.

I did get m new IKEA card in the mail finally. I ordered my new wardrobe for the closet room. I started working in there last night to make room. I am going to be rearranging that room to fit it but it will be worth it. I have a goal to eliminate one of the dressers in there and I think I can do it. I am going to work in there more today reducing down clothes. I can do this.

See how much for I feel like talking when my head isn't screaming? Amazing, isn't it? 

ANA Y4 D59

My head is quiet this morning. Blessing. I don't know how long it will last, but I will take it. I still haven't heard back from the ENT office. Hoping I hear from them on Monday. I will take whatever appointment they have.

Worked on a bunch of stuff that was sitting on the backburner because of teaching this last week. Docs, emails, etc. Got it all done by 2pm which was nice. Did some cleaning which is probably helping my head. I worked in the closet room and pulled everything out to get rid of fluff. I took off the vents and cleaned behind them. It seems to have helped. Didn't feel like cooking last night and opted for Arby's. I don't care what anyone says, they're like the last decent fast food place. Still overpriced as fuck, but at least I feel I get a decent quantity and quality of food for my money. Played with doggo outside, played some video games, went to bed.

No plans for today. I need to find some new tv trays this weekend as ours broke, but that's it. Please dear deity of choice, let me have a few hours of silence today? 

ANA Y4 D58

Hulk Hogan is dead. Good. He was a racist angry piece of shit. The world is better off without him.

Went to the store, took Merlot to vet, died in the heat, did a mentoring session with a client, sold them a service contract, made salmon for dinner, started raining hard. Requested an appointment with an ENT. Let's see if I hear back from them.

Bunch of minor stuff to deal with today. 

ANA Y4 D57

I'm behind schedule this morning. Issues with the cat not wanting to take her meds. Slept through first alarm. I've got shit to do.

Taught all day. Took dog for walk. Made tacos. Exhausted. Head still screaming. I am having someone come out to clean our ducts. Hoping that will help. $500-$700 but it has never been done so it's overdue. Have store, vet, and a client session today. Need to start moving NOW. 

ANA Y4 D56

I woke up yesterday to Malcolm Jamal Warner dying and ended the day with Ozzy. The first was a tragic accident, the other we all knew was coming. I figured he had 2-3 more years though honestly. I thought her would retire quietly and pass away. Nope. 2 weeks after his final show, gone. There goes another chunk of my childhood. This one hurt. Not quite Prince level of hurt, but it hurt. I was stunned when I got the news. 

Day two of three teaching complete. Not as good of a day. The students are tired and it was heavier stuff. Harder to get them to talk. My ears weren't helping. One more week and I get my mouth guard. Anything to make things better. Anything. I am worried I am allergic to dog fluff. I also need to deep clean this house. Dander is everywhere every day. I love her but god her coat sucks.

I am tired. Very very tired. 

ANA Y4 D55

 My ears are back and I don't know why? I was fine in the morning yesterday and then around noon boom. I wokeup about 15 minutes ago, fine, then they started. WTF? I really don't understand what is going on? Am I really clenching and grinding that bad in my sleep? Is the weather affecting me that much? I am not stressed out that I know of? Like for real, what the hell is going on??

Taught all day. Good group. Have two more days with them. No issues there. Made pasta for dinner. Took dog on a walk. Went to bed at a reasonable time. I am trying to do my best with everything. This is really annoying me. 

ANA Y4 D54

I teach the next three days so I am up early. Too much to do before class. The cat is on to me. She is tasting the meds now in the wet food I am giving her and being stubborn. I am going to have to go to straight dosing I'm afraid. Roughly 3650 more days of this. Give or take. Sigh. 

I did both front and back yard yesterday. Cleaned. Dishes. Made dinner. It was relatively nice out and had a good after dinner walk with doggo. Didn't do much of anything else. It was nice.  

ANA Y4 D53

The difference it makes when we're both home on a weekend is crazy. We got shit done together. Dog to groomer, groceries, had a dinner and movie date (watched Sinners, A+). Took care of stuff together. Much calmer and easier to get through the day. She's home two more days. Bless.

ANA Y4 D52

Paid bills, had therapy, had meetings, reviewed documents. No construction yesterday which was a nice change of pace. No dog barking all day at workers, no house shaking. It was a peaceful day. Took dog for a walk. Made sushi bowls for dinner. In general it was a good day. C is now home for THREE days straight. This is going to be wild. This morning taking dog to groomer and going to grocery store. Other than that no obligations today. Should be done with everything by noon.

ANA Y4 D51

Yesterday was insane. I thought my dentist appointment was at 9. It was at 8. Luckily they messaged me at 6am to remind me. I had to rush out of the house which was a problem because the workers already had our street closed by 7am. All day they had it blocked off. I had to go 2 miles out of my way to get around them. At the dentist I had her look at my jaw and see if there was any correlation between my jaw and my ears. She did say that I am showing serious signs of grinding and clenching. Mouthguard for me it is. I had to have my mouth scanned and in two weeks I will have a custom mouthguard for sleeping. I am desperate enough to try anything. $500 worth of anything.

In the afternoon I took Merlot to the vet. Again I had to work around the damn construction. Good news at the vet at least. Merlot's numbers are back where they should be meaning the meds are working and she should be getting back to normal. We have seen signs of improvement already. More active, more talkative. 

Made dinner and after dinner I needed some alone time. I went to the asian grocer to pick up stuff for tonight's dinner. I am doing fish and rice bowls so I picked up some tamago, tobiko, tuna, kewpie, etc. I am looking forward to making them tonight. C is off all weekend which is going to be really nice. Two days in a row. Maybe I can get a little bit of a break. 

ANA Y4 D50

My fucking head is screaming again. Started around noon yesterday. Still going. I have shit to do today and am not in the mood for this. Have to go to the dentist. Have to take Merlot to the vet. I am taking a sick day from work for all this and do not have the patience for this. So tired of it. Tired of the construction closing my street and making noise all day. Tired of being alive.

ANA Y4 D49

C got a song stuck in my head last night.

Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine...

There. Now it's stuck in yours. You're welcome. 

Better day. Merlot is eating again. My head was quiet. I spent the day doing a mentoring workshop with clients that actually went well. The only issue was last night. We discovered flies in the house. But it was like one at a time. We'd kill one and then two minutes later find another. No source. No multiples. I went Walter White on them. There's still one that I know of in here. Driving me insane. I just want to know where they're coming from. I fucking hate them. I will find the bastard and kill him.  

ANA Y4 D48

Yesterday was rough. Merlot is not eating and I am worried. My ears were screaming. The dog was being annoying. I have a rash and it is itchy. I just can't win, can I?

ANA Y4 D47

Ears are back. They've been quiet for a couple of days with just some intermittent screaming. But this morning they are right back to it. Fuck me.

Boring day which is okay. C worked. I did house stuff. Organized more clothes. Cleaned. Made burgers for dinner.

Work today.  

ANA Y4 D46

Fighting the cat and dog to eat the right food. One wants the other and the other wants the other. Yep. Make sense of that sentence. I don't know. I am tired and it's 7am. Just crazytown around here already. Weather is stupid. Rain. Hot. Rain. Windy. Tree branches all over the yard. No no, climate change is totally fake. Argh. Mental breakdown on a Sunday.

Made hibachi last night. Came out 100% perfect. C said it was one of the best meals I ever made her. That felt good. Merlot had an accident on the bed. Had to wash the sheets at 9pm. Managed to get a small walk in before the sky opened up. Sigh. All over the place in my brain this morning. 

ANA Y4 D45

Just woke up a few minutes ago. Took the dog out, took my meds, now sitting down. The way a weekend should be.

Had a good friday. Picked up Merlot's new meds. Starting them on Monday. She needs four appointments at the start so I had to find a day that would line up. She starts Monday, then check on Thursday, then the two following Thursdays. She also has a new litterbox coming and new food. We will get this under control. Did some work. Went to a friend's house for dinner. Nice going somewhere else and letting someone else cook for me. Doggo came with us and got to have a play date. She ran around and tired herself out. We were there until about 9, headed home, in bed by 11pm. 

Nothing planned for today. C has to work all weekend so I am just home alone. It's okay. I will survive. 

ANA Y4 D44

Yesterday was rough. First off, my ears came screaming back. I had to ignore it all day though because I was teaching. There were a couple of moments where I was a little on edge but in general I kept it upbeat and didn't snap at anyone. It was a challenge to be sure. The real hard part was the vet called with Merlot's results. Poor baby has diabetes. I have to go and get her meds to start her on daily insulin meds and a new diet. BUT we caught it super early and as such she should live a long life as long as we keep her on the meds. But it's just another $1000+ a year I now have to spend. You wonder why I can never get ahead? Of course I will do it. I will figure it out. I always do.

ANA Y4 D43

Not feeling well this morning. I can't eat like I used to. Any kind of spicy or heavy food these days causes me repercussions the next. Old age sucks.

Taught all day. Started at 8, finished at 4. Not a bad group. No major issues. Didn't feel like cooking so had taco bros. Paying for it. Not much else going on right now. 

ANA Y4 D42

I know I shouldn't jinx it, question it, or complain about it but...

Two days. Two days of silence. Why? What changed? Not my diet. Not my habits. Weather has been the same mostly. So what changed? Why? I wish I could understand the triggers better. Is it because I talked to C about some things? Is it because I got things off my chest? Is it because I made it past my birthday? How much was mental and how much was physical? The pollen is gone. Was it allergen related? I wish I had answers but I am happy to have had two days.

Last day of vacation yesterday. I did mostly nothing. We were both home. We took dog for walk. We cleaned. We played video games. We watched a documentary. I did check in and answer some emails so I didn't come into a shitstorm this morning. But otherwise a nice way to wrap up. I teach the next two days and then have some stuff to do Friday. This week is solid and will be over before I know it. Just have to get through two days of this class. I can do it. I then have 3 days of teaching the week after next, and more in August. Should start getting busier as we reach end of year. 

ANA Y4 D41

I had a good birthday. Not going to lie. I was well wished by about 15 people wish is more than I expected. Made me feel cared about for sure. I spent the day moving at my own pace, took the cat to the vet (she's fine, blood work), we went to K-Pot, our friend came over for cake and two games of Scrabble. All in all, a good day. This is my last day off and I plan on relaxing. I did check email and I have a shitstorm to deal with tomorrow but that's a tomorrow problem. Today I will be ignoring it all.

ANA Y4 D40

Happy birthday to me.

I have had about 12 hours of silence. It's so nice. Finished the laundry room floor. Pics tomorrow. Today I do nothing. Dinner and cake tonight.

ANA Y4 D39

24 straight hours with no relief in my head. This is insane. It has to stop. I hate everything and everyone right now. Fuck living. This isn't living.

ANA Y4 D38

We made our own fireworks last night. The only thing worth celebrating was us. Heck yeah.

My head is still the bane of my existence. I fucking hate it. Driving me nuts. For real. I did go through clothes yesterday. Made some tough choices but have a good pile for donations and my closet looks much more organized. Small victories.

Hair appointment today. 

ANA Y4 D37

Woo. America Day. Woo.

Like there's anything in this piece of shit country to celebrate right now. Deputized ICE agents? A corrupt supreme court? A toddler in charge? What pray tell am I celebrating? White people? Slavery? Get fucked.  

ANA Y4 D36

Been up for a while. Just been doing some shit already. I did sleep in until 6:15 which was nice. I got through my meeting yesterday and am officially off for the next few days. I got one thing off my 10 item list do... no wait, two things! Only 7 left to go and I should get one to two done today. Picking up my cake today too. 

I had two friends reach out to me yesterday for different reasons. One was sharing a life update. I am so proud of how far they have come with everything. Of all the people I know, they are in the top three for people who deserve to finally be happy. The other was checking in on me. Appreciate both of them.

Sending C off to work and then doing my list of stuff. 

ANA Y4 D35

This is it. I have ONE meeting from 10-12 and then I am done for a week. I have my small list of projects. I will sleep in dammit at least one day. 

I recorded a how to video yesterday. That was good. Made brats for dinner. Made a new dessert. Functioned. 

ANA Y4 D34

It was so bad last night that it was slipping into my dreams. I went to bed at around 10 because I couldn't be awake any more. But then when I did fall asleep it was in my damn dreams. At 1:30am I took a Claritin to see if it would help. Guess what? It did. I was able to sleep at least. Not perfect but at least now I am functional. If this has all been allergy related I will stab someone in the face.

Got my templates done, got the meds, ordered my cake. Picking cake up Thursday. Made chicken caesar wraps for dinner.  Watched half of the thunderbolts. I want to like it but meh. It's just so formulaic. Same marvel junk. I will probably finish it today. I also have to record a tutorial video today. Fun stuff but almost done for the week!