ANA Y4 D106

Day five. Solid. No breaks. No respite.

MRI day. Dear god, let's find something. 

ANA Y4 D105

Day four. Not happy. Woke up many times during the night. Tomorrow is MRI. Am I stressing because of that and causing my own issues? Probably. FML.

Worked. Made lamb chops. Watched Weapons. A+. Lots of twists and turns. Worth watching. Went on walk. Was dark. Didn't like. 

ANA Y4 D104

Day 3 of this shit. Getting tired of it. Add to that my face was hurting all day yesterday. It felt like someone punched me on the right side of my face. I did go to the dentist and she said it was most likely that I was clenching all night because of the pain on the left. Lovely. It doesn't hurt this morning luckily. I went into the dentist yesterday without an appointment and luckily they had me in and out in under an hour. I appreciate them. My left side feels MUCH better. But dealt with the right the rest of the day. It was so bad I ended up taking two muscle relaxers last night which made me floopy. I think it helped me sleep but it still wasn't fun being in pain all day. Made chicken with mushroom soup for dinner. Took dog on walk. Did some work. Two more days until my MRI.

ANA Y4 D103

Still going. I woke up in the middle of the night to bad attack. Around 3:30am. Just screaming. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep.

We had a decent day. Took dog to REI to get her a new harness as she outgrew the old one. Had lunch. Took her for walk. Did laundry. Made tuna for dinner. Watched some tv. Played games. 

Going back to the dentist today. Hopefully they can fix my mouth. Thursday we will see if I have a tumor. 

ANA Y4 D102

It's back. Explain it to me please? Why? It's sunday? I am not stressed out? Weather didn't change? House isn't any different? So fucking stupid.

Had my hair done. Made mushroom soup. Played video games. Had friend over for soup. Walked dog. 

ANA Y4 D101

Quiet today. Let's see how long it lasts. I am going to bring my loops to my hair appt. See if that helps when she does the hairdryer on me.

Finished my class yesterday. Very proud of it. Let's see if sales can sell it. Made carne asada for dinner. Did 2.5 miles with the dog. It was mild yesterday so I was pretty functional.  

ANA Y4 D100

 Day two of screaming, yippee. Do I ever get a break? No? Okay. Shotgun it is. Well maybe. Because now the DOJ is wanting to label me mentally ill and take away my right to own a gun. Fuck you. Fuck this country. Fuck this administration. Fuck this life. Wrong timeline. Somewhere we screwed up. Something went terribly wrong. Fix it. Now.

ANA Y4 D99

And we're back with the screaming. This is not a drainage issue. This is not just stress related. SOMETHING is wrong. We're one week out from my MRI. Please dear god show something.

Good day yesterday. Got a lot done on my new class. Made suasage hoagies for dinner. Went on a 2.5 mile walk. It was great. I was happy.  

ANA Y4 D98

Silence this morning. Okay, what changed? I slept longer? That's it? Weather cooled down by like two degrees? I don't have anything pressing to do this morning? I don't know. I just don't.

Yesterday was hard. Especially when I took her for a walk. MASSIVE trigger stacking. Her pulling, cars, noise, other dogs, bunnies, squirels, more noise. I came back from walking her and just had to sit in the living room staring at nothing for an hour to calm down. This is why this is killing me. I cannot function.

Let's hope for at least another 30ish hours? 

ANA Y4 D97

38 hours. That's how long I got this time of relief. 38. I woke up at 4 something and it was back. I woke up at 1:30 and it was still gone so I am estimating that 3 hours in between, but still. Why? What was the trigger? What changed? What's different? Weather is the same?

I had a great day yesterday. Made thai salmon for dinner. Went on a three mile walk. Played video games. Played outside with dog. And now I am back to this. Fuck me.