ANA Y1 D323

I had a 90% really good day yesterday. Sadly it ended on a sour note, but it still was a genuinely good, productive day. It started with me paying all the bills as usual for a Friday. But I was smart this time and I had prepped it out Thursday night so when I was doing it yesterday morning I wasn't as stressed or flustered for it. I knew what was already going out and just it needed to be done. Fine. Done. From there I started working. We're fixing some video issues on our recordings and I have to go through 42 demos and re-edit and publish them. I managed to get through 20 of 42. Not too shabby. At 1pm I had a follow up appointment with my normal doctor to go over bloodwork. I took the opportunity to share with her what happened to me on Wednesday at the other doctor. The look of disgust on her face when I detailed my experience told me everything I needed to know. They will no longer be recommending that doctor's office to anyone. She immediately came to the same conclusion that I did that they were just out to find something to bill me for and that's that. We went over my bloodwork and found absolutely nothing that would be of concern nor warrant invasive poking and prodding. We discussed why there might be blood in my urine. Her conclusions were the same as mine. This is about to get gross and detailed, as well as really personal, but hey, that's what this blog is about, right?

When one goes on hormones like me, it affects certain body parts. Things begin to atrophy over time. I am at 10 months of hormones. My estrogen levels are at peak teenage girl levels. My body is severely estrogen dominant right now. To give you an example, a standard healthy pre-menopausal woman has an estradiol level of between 250-350. Mine? 615. Typical estrogen? 50-170. Mine? 954. Then there's things like progesterone levels, andro levels, etc. My testosterone? 13. In men that should be 250 - 1000. In women it's 15-70. I am suppressing things like mad. Which is what we want. We want a forced rapid puberty. One last example, depending on cycle phase, estrone sulfate levels in women range from 60-230, Mine? 5400. Yeah. Estrone is what converts things into estradiol which is what pushes development. The overall result of all this is I am forcing a lot of things and massively pushing other things down. For example, I no longer experience nighttime erections, I don't achieve erection quickly or for very long, and in general, that body part has become "unused" if you will. SO when it does get used, it hurts a little bit. Why? Atrophy. Yes, that's a real thing. It is becoming smaller and less functional. Kind of the point of all this. By the way, this is one of the reasons why the whole "trans people are raping our children in bathrooms" argument is a fallacy. The amount of time needed to achieve a usable erection or to maintain one is not realistically going to allow someone to perform an act like that. In short, ha, in short, it just doesn't function that way. Now, when it does get aroused, it hurts as I said because the tissue isn't being used or stretched regularly. This causes microtears in the tissue. This in turn can produce micro blood in the urine. Oh look, I had micro blood in my urine. Gosh, what a surprise FOR NO ONE. If this other doctor had just taken the time to actually TALK to me, he would have realized that's what is happening. Instead he jumped to doing massive testing and bringing up things like cancer. Luckily I have a good primary doctor and the minute I started explaining things she knew what was going on. We did go through the rest of my panel and guess what, she found nothing of concern. I am 100% where I am supposed to be. My health is good. Also, the other doctor fat shamed me without ever thinking about the fact that due to my insanely high estrogen levels I am retaining fat like crazy. For those who don't know, estrogen bonds to and wants fatty cells. This is why men can stop eating for two days and lose twenty pounds while a woman stops eating and somehow gains three. The estrogen is saying no no, add more please. With my high levels it makes perfect sense. Again, if this asshole doctor had stopped to look at or talk to his patient, he would have realized what was going on. 

Okay back to yesterday. After my doctor appointment I did some more work and had a meeting with a colleague to go over some curriculum changes. Finished up around 4. From there, C and I went to home depot and picked up a small power washer to clean the backyard. They had a baby one on sale for $100. It's not super powerful, but for the small amount of concrete we wanted to clean, it works fine. We also decided to stop at target where we found a sale on a small patio set for $165. It included a table, four chairs, and an umbrella. We got some tiki torches as well. Stopped at the grocery store stocking up allowing us to not have to go out this weekend at all if we don't want to. Came home and went to work on the backyard. For the first time in 4.5 years, I ate outside in my backyard. We are so happy with how everything turned out. Check it out:

We spent the majority of the night outside not coming in until after 9pm. We even used the firepit! It's then that the night took a turn. I went downstairs for something and was struck with a massive pee smell. Marble has been pissing and shitting in the now empty room down there. I had to spend an hour dragging up the old carpet and cleaning things. I'm done with her. Just done. No matter what her results say, something is wrong. She's got some kind of dementia or something that's causing these problems. Regardless, it wasn't how I wanted to end my night. I was tired and frustrated by the time I got into bed at 11:30. Today I have to go down there and bleach and clean some areas. Luckily, I don't have anything else going on today. But it's not a fun thing to deal with. That's my plans for today along with some pre-packing for our trip. Two more weeks bitches and we're gone! So excited.