ANA Y2 D303

Last night we watched the Nickelodeon documentary, Quiet on the Set. We watched all four parts in a row. What a heartbreaking tragic story. But, not a surprising one. At least not the parts about Dan S. The parts with Drake Bell? No, those were just wrong and horrible. There was just so much going on that no one knew about. Not to mention when they start looking at some of the scenes from these "kids" shows, how much adult stuff was put in and was blown off as "funny". If you haven't watched it, please do. But be prepared to be disgusted in parts. Saddened in others. It's a heart wrenching watch.

For dinner last night we had sausage and peppers over pasta. We got it at the Italian store on Saturday. Going into that store was my form of nostalgia. All the brands and foods I grew up with as a kid. It's funny how over time you lose touch with some things because either they're not available any more or they're too expensive to buy regularly. But walking down the aisles of that store was like being back in my grandmother's house and all the afternoon snacks and dinner came rushing back. Brands I had forgotten about and things I would eat all the time. Regardless, dinner last night, while not fancy, was a window into the past and tasted both good and yet somehow bittersweet. 

I found this picture yesterday while scrolling Tumblr of three girls all holding skateboards and flipping off a sign that said no skateboarding. It was probably taken early 90s at a high school. It gave me a pain in my chest because I could see a glimpse of what my childhood would have been like if things had been different. Two of the girls in the picture could easily be me and my sister. Just a weird set of emotions it drew out of me. Like why couldn't this have been us? Why did things go the way they went? I know you can't go back, but it still gives me an ache sometimes. 

Speaking of aches, C's dad was back in the hospital yesterday. This time for prostate and bladder issues along with back and leg issues. He got his leg caught under his wheelchair and couldn't feel it. How scary is that? There was more, but I wouldn't be doing the situation justice by trying to summarize in a couple of sentences. Needless to say, C was distraught. She carries so much guilt from her time caring for him. She worries she didn't do enough or was smart enough. Her sister is in the medical field and knows how to push for tests and demand answers. Poor C was doing the best she could with little support system. Yet she carries the burden even now a year later of not having to be there for him. She shoulders the guilt of all the times she left him piss her off. A heavy burden to say the least.

More working on random shit this week. But there are potential weeks of training in my future including a possible trip to RI. One of the few remaining states I have never visited. I should learn more about that this week.