Y6 D343

Deep down, every parent wants their child to do better than them. Make better decisions, achieve more in life, find happiness - that sort of thing. But that doesn't mean it can't sting when they do.  You're proud, but you can also be sad that you never got to achieve the same. That's why so many parents try to vicariously live through their children I think. That can turn dangerous too quick in my mind. Cause more of a rift than anything else.

What brought all this up? The kid and KBF have been looking at land. Like 10 acres of land. He apparently has the down payment needed to pay a large chunk of land, get a small pre-fab house, and grow fruit. I know technically that it's his and not hers, but she will have a real easy time of it if they go forward with this. Ten acres of land, a house, college debt paid, all before 30. Proud, yet saddened that my life has come to me sitting in hotel rooms worrying about paying for leg surgery. I can't tell if it's getting any better with the boot but it probably isn't getting any worse with the boot. The catch 22 of the week.

Just take my belt and throw it around the shower curtain rod. And swing.

B is still up. It's 4:48am where I am. She is still up watching GoT. How'd you spend your Sunday? Oh, doing nothing but watching TV even though I asked if you could please go to the office store to take some measurements on desks? No, that's okay. I will do it when I get home like everything else. To be fair, she did make pot pies and freeze them for when I get home so we don't have to cook next Saturday.

I'm cranky, angry, sad, depressed, in pain, and just plain fed up right now. Today is day one of five at the new client. I don't know what kind of hell I am going to be dealing with traffic wise so I am planning on leaving here an hour early to go 6 miles. I know that seems silly but it may pay off. I may also be sitting in a parking lot for a while.

I did jack shit yesterday if you can't tell. I went off to the fancy mall but everything was closed until fucking noon and I got there at 10:00. Whee. I found a place to eat some food which killed a little time but I wasn't going to sit there for another 40 minutes doing nothing. I have all week to do that.