Y12 D51

I was wondering last night about my grandmother. Yes, in theory, my father's mother is still alive. She has to be at least 92 from my math. Even a pandemic can't stop her. I would wager at least. I mean, how do you stop pure evil? I should ask my sister. She'll know.

I sent my friend's wife a happy birthday the other day. I sent it to the last known emails I had. Probably never made it. Not like I have been a good friend over the years. Oh well. I'm a piece of shit anyway.

No, I mean seriously. Look, I don't know if my own family is alive, can't stay in touch with people for shit, have zero empathy in most cases for most human beings, and am all around just a recluse with no social skills. So yeah, I will stay here in my cave and wait out the end of the world.

Had the weirdest fucking dream right before I woke up. I was getting thrown across time and space. Ended up in a phone store where the computer screens told me exactly what to buy - 2 smart phones, 4 other phones, 2 tablets. Like the universe had some plan and I was just supposed to be ready for it. Lovely.

Worked on docs yesterday because that's my life now. Had dinner. Framed a couple of things. Went to bed. To summarize:

 I used to be so big and strong
    I used to know my right from wrong
    I used to never be afraid
    I used to be somebody
    I used to have something inside
    Now just this hole that's open wide
    I used to want it all
    I used to be somebody