Can you believe it's been 300 days since everything went sideways? We're just a couple months shy of a full year. Insane. I had another dream we were building or buying a new home. I looked that up in a dream dictionary just now. Apparently it can mean my state of mind is improving. That I have "been in a constant state of stress or fear which is now diminishing". Yep. Sounds about right. Also indicates "your self esteem is improving". I would agree with that too. What a shock. It's been a long 300 days but clearly my subconscious knows what is up.
Spent half the day mentoring two different companies on some stuff. Worked on docs. Waited for C to get home. B stopped by to do more packing. They are finally getting it in gear and plan to come buy a few times this week to pack stuff and have a truck scheduled for the 18th. An end date is in sight. Thank god. I can have my basement back. I can make some changes that I've wanted to make. I can move forward. I doubt they're having the same kind of dreams I am. It doesn't sound like they are as solid in their relationship as I am in mine. I don't know. It feels in some ways they went from one co-dependent situation to another. That got me thinking yesterday. Being home alone for 30 hours made me feel blue. Not dysfunctional, but just a bit sad. I did some looking up of that too. I looked at the difference between codependent and interdependent. We are the latter. We bolster each other. We are stronger together. There's no imbalance in what we do. We are independent individuals who per psychology today "promote loving feelings, mutual respect, and a sense of emotional safety". We encourage each other. We support each other. Can we do things alone? Yes. We know who we are when we're apart, but we are better when we're together. It's taken me this long in life to find a healthy relationship. Go figure. Yesterday C's mom asked her "when you go there, does it feel like home?" Without hesitation C told her yes. That's important to me and felt good to hear. This is her home now. Her space. Soon it will be even more our space.
C got home around 6. I helped her unpack, made dinner (leftover pasta and pizza), she took a shower, we watched tv, made out for like an hour both on the couch and in bed, and went to bed around 10 intertwined Both of us felt more relaxed and safe. Works for me.
Today I have a webinar, then we're going to home depot to buy paint. Going to start painting this weekend. Bedroom first.
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