ANA Y2 D4

I may have caused A to have to spend a whole lot of money yesterday. You see any time we buy something, B gets FOMO, envious, whatever, and has to one up us. I honestly don't know if they realize they're doing it. It may simply be, "oh that's a good idea, we should do that too", but on a subconscious level, whatever they do has to be a little better. Make sense? First off, we all remember the infamous "I'm not going to tell you what to do with your money, but I really like this house" incident. Then there was the $10,000 on flooring in the basement. Then all the money spent on making the basement the way they wanted it, then we bought a patio set and they of course had to have a patio set. Of course, ours was $175. There's was $600. Well, yesterday C and I decided to invest in the backyard. We bought a small pool. 15' round, 4' deep. Nothing exciting. $350. That's it. Includes the pump, ladder, cover, etc. Full kit, $350 delivered. From past experience, I would say A is looking at $600+ because they're going to want a pool next. Just watch. Sorry A. Our new pool will be here this weekend and good thing as it's going to be in the 90s. We're housesitting Friday and Saturday, but Sunday I will be sipping a cocktail in my new pool. Suck it bitches.

Did more doc work all day, made a good dinner. Grilled chicken and veggies with homemade slaw. Played some games, had sex, went to bed. We're still doing good on that front for the record. Six times this month. Things have slowed, yes, but it's more in part to C's hormones being screwed up right now. We were discussing it the other night and her levels are half of what they were in Jan. She has an appointment in a couple of weeks. She also has a job interview monday. Proud of her for taking care of that. More on that when it happens.

Nothing exciting today. More doc work, going to make pizzas for dinner.

ANA Y2 D3

The heat has started. I did my best to keep this house between 72-73 without turning on the AC. It kicked in once yesterday and that is it. I have all the doors and windows open right now but the minute the sun comes up, blackout and fans. I will not have a ridiculous bill this year thank you. Because of the heat we stayed inside yesterday. Didn't go anywhere. Just did inside stuff. We had dinner outside however. I grilled kabobs. Not much to report because not much went on. Mostly we're just looking towards the weekend again. Sad isn't? We finish a weekend just to look forward to the next one. It's almost as if working is the enemy of people. Hmm. Nah. That can't be right. Go capitalism. Thank you oh great overlords. Anyway, next weekend we are house sitting for C's sister so I can use someone else's AC. Also it allows us to miss Pride this year. At least the one that everyone keeps fucking asking me if I am going to. I really don't want to be around stupidhead and their lesbian cadre. Nor do I want to be in a large group of people who are potentially going to be shot at. Sorry, I'm funny that way. Today is back to work on stupid shit. Whee.

ANA Y2 D2

Had another "Explore Michigan" day yesterday. On our way to the BBQ we saw some stuff and places we decided to go back and explore more. First stop was a sausage and jerky place which also turned out to be a butcher. We got some good jerky and sausage of course, but then we also got a box of 13 ribeye steaks. It was a bulk deal that saved 40% over the individual steak price. Totally worth it. Gave the freezer downstairs a little bump. Then to a random "gourmet market". That was more of a let down than the first, but at least we got out of the house and did shit. On the way home I went to my first fireworks warehouse store. Holy shit. We got a tiny kit for $75 but they had some upwards of $2000!! It was crazy. The one we got comes with firecrackers, mortar shells, roman candles, m-95s - basically everything that was illegal for me as a child. It was pretty warm yesterday so we closed everything before we left. It still wasn't enough to kick in the AC at one point. Made shrimp pad thai for dinner, played some video games with friends, watched a little tv, lit off a few fireworks, went to bed at midnight. I was too hot and uncomfortable and ended up tossing and turning until 2am. Don't know what we're going to do today, but it probably won't be very exciting.

ANA Y2 D1

Another D1. Every year I go into this hoping it will be less eventful than the prior. I thought for a while things were pretty good and then you know, COVID. Then you know, divorce, transition, new relationship, blah blah blah. I would like a somewhat boring year. Yeah, like that happens to me ever.

Had a fun but long day yesterday. We left the house at 8am and didn't get home until after 9pm except for a 15 minute pit stop after our morning errand. We started off with a hair appointment. The tea was hot at the salon this time around kids. Our wonderful hair dresser broke up with her bf thank goodness. He set of way too many red flags for us when she told us originally about him. While we were gone he created MORE red flags and she was done. Basically it would appear he turned out to be a scammer and a gaslighter. She got out just in time before he started tapping her monies. She is a smart girl for sure. We talked about our trip and a ton of other things. It was a nice time.

After we popped back home real quick to grab the cake I made and some other stuff. We stopped at the store for some beers as well. Yes beers. We then headed off about an hour away to a friends place for a BBQ. We were told there would be around 20 people there. It started technically at noon, and by the time we got there it was almost 1pm. We were the first. WTF? I intentionally didn't rush us so we weren't the first to arrive. The hosts had setup a really nice spread, had everything people could need, and then people flaked. It wasn't until around 3:30 that ONE more person showed. It was 4:30 before a few more did. In the end there were only 11-12 people out of 20 who said they would come. People suck. Well, we had fun regardless. Got to see some folks we hadn't seen in a while, it was a beautiful day outside, we drank, we ate, we laughed. It was a long tiring day. Got home, wound down, and got into bed around 11pm. Poor C is sunburned on one shoulder. Made sleeping tough for her. I will take care of it today.

As for today, nothing planned. A little yardwork, some house cleaning, but nothing crazy.

ANA Y1 D365

Well here we are folks, the dream we all dream of - I survived another year. Another memorial day weekend is up on me. My 14th since I started writing this damn blog. 5000 posts later and I am still standing bitches. Although, this last year there were some touch and go moments. In the past I was afraid I would die because I got too drunk and did something stupid. In this last year it looked like I might actually take my own life. But yet, I made it. Thankfully as I now have something (someone) to truly live for in this world. Now I don't ever want to leave. I need another 40-50 years with her people. I need another 40-50 years as my true self. I will still be writing this shit too people. Mark my words. I will document the whole messy thing called life. Watch me. What a year though eh? My THIRD marriage fell apart. This time not because of me, but more because it was never really there in the first place, now was it. You know what I mean by that. I settled once again like I always did. I swore I would kill to protect what I had. In my many ways I did. But the reality is what I was protecting wasn't my relationship or the person - it was the clawing back up. It was putting this roof over my head. It was defining my life by my rules. Guess what, still here. Still alive. I see how I look at C versus how I looked at B. I have that look that people always say "gosh I wish someone looked at me that way". I didn't even cry at our wedding but I cried at  the look on C's face when she saw me in that dress at the bridal shop. She looks at ME that way too. Is this something magical about her? No, for the first time ever, it's because this relationship has no secrets. Nothing under the surface that I am hiding. I am in this relationship truly as me. I am giving 100% of me to this. It makes a difference. I know I have been given more do overs in my life than any one person deserves and I am grateful for every single one. This is it though. This is my last life. This cat has used them all up. If I fuck up this time around, I'm out of the game for good. I'm done. So yes, I am in this 100%. I started writing about C almost 9 months ago. Yeah, it's been that long. I said if I get another 10 years, blah blah blah. No. I want it all this time. I want the long game. I want the whole package. I am not restraining my feelings or my passions or my desires. I am not idling sitting by quietly. I am not holding my tongue for fear of a fight. I am open, exposed, and raw. I am giving myself 100%. My desire is that in 12 months from now, May of 2024, we will be just shy of 2 years in our relationship, and I will be planning for a wedding. I will be planning to be bonded to someone who also is giving 100%. This last year has ripped back the skin of everything. I thank my therapist for much of that. I also thank B for living their best life. Well, you all know what I mean by that. Because technically I am bankrolling their best life. But you know what I mean. I got out. I truly got out. I didn't so much come out as I blew up the closet I have been hiding in since I was 12 years old. You see it in the 951 pictures I posted of our trip. Which dear reader, if you'd like to see, just email me and I will add you to the share. I am smiling more in these pictures than I have ever smiled in my entire life. Everyone I know who has seen the pictures has said the same thing. "You look happy." "I've never seen you smile like that." Because these last 365 days have been the whirlwind that has brought me here. I went through hell once more. It seems I have a direct path there, doesn't it? But there are no more chances. This time I have to get it right. Sit back, enjoy the ride, and let's do this one more time, shall we?

Yesterday was bills, work, groceries, etc. Made paninis for dinner. Watched some tv. C's stomach was upset and it derailed our other plans, but it's okay. Today we're going to a BBQ and I will be seeing some people I haven't seen in over six months. This should be interesting.

ANA Y1 D364

I just learned that the social security office is literally across the street. Like I pass it every time I leave the house. Why is that important? Because I got some AWESOME news yesterday! I have a date for my hearing!!! Yep. June 14th 8:30am. On that day, barring any weirdness, I will officially have a dead name. I will be my new name! Then, a couple days later, I can request copies of the approved court order, WALK over to the SSA, and get a new social in my new name. Then I can take that to DMV and get a new ID! Then I can get a new passport. With all these, I can then start changing everything that is still in my old name - credit cards, bank statements, fucking Hilton. In 19 days, the old me will truly and forever not exist anymore. How incredible and scary is that?

Spent the day prepping materials for upcoming classes and working on blog posts. It's not much, but it's an honest living. Did you know he died recently? Sad. Made bacon ranch chicken sandwiches for dinner. Watched some tv, played games with friends. Went to bed around 11.

We have a busy holiday weekend ahead of us somewhat. Got the stuff to do.

ANA Y1 D363

It must be getting near summer, I am staying up way too late. Burning the candle hard again. But this time it's not because my wife is out until 2am fucking. It's not because I am crying myself to sleep. It's not because I am unable to sleep because my world is once more upside down. No, this time it's just silliness. It's watching movies on weeknights and not starting them until 9pm because there's too much glare on the tv. Last night was John Wick 4. All three damn hours of it. Oh it was worth every second, but it definitely cut into my sleep time. No lies there. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Spent the day prepping for my next webinar. Got the demos done and the presentation. This was an easy one luckily. Made fish and chips for dinner. Watched the movie. Today is thursday. Almost a three day weekend. THE three day weekend that set all this in motion 14 years ago. 

ANA Y1 D362

Got up early yesterday to make sure I put in a full day's work before heading to the tattoo shop. Managed to get three more blog posts done, update one more, and prep for some classes in two weeks. I did as I needed to and accomplished my goal. From there, I went off to the shop around 12:15. We started at 1:30ish or so. I had C keep track of actual tattoo time versus waiting time versus breaks. Tattoo artists are not the best time management people. They just aren't. They're artists and geniuses in their own right. So we got inside at 12:50, left a little after six. 5 hours or so, right? Nope. Actual ink time was 4 hours. She charged me for 2.5. Yep. But clearly, I spent the majority of the day there so not much else going on. On the way home we stopped and got grinders from a local shop. My tattoo artist is a HUGE horror buff and we told her about the movies we've been watching and she made many suggestions. We took those to heart, checked what we had in our library, and watched the Conjuring. Nope. Nope. Nope. Shit freaked us out. We had to watch a Phineas and Ferb after to calm us down. Spooky ass shit. Of course there's a sequel. Whee. Went to bed around 11. 

More of the same work stuff today. Nothing else exciting going on. With that, here it is, my completed octopus. He is perfect.

ANA Y1 D361

Up early as I have a tattoo appointment today. Finishing the octopus. Worked on blog posts all day. Finished 8. Had steak sandwiches with leftover roast. Watched a bad movie. Went to bed.

ANA Y1 D360

I am very tired this morning mostly due to some shit happening outside at midnight. We went to bed at a nice normal 10:30 and had the windows open for air. At 11:51pm, we were jolted out of sleep by siren after siren. I can't find anything in the news this morning but some shit was going down. Fire trucks, ambulances, cop cars. The thing is, it's fucking midnight. Who is on the road in suburbia at midnight on a Sunday bitches? You didn't need to be blaring those things full blast like that. I was up for a good hour afterwards thanks to that shit. Argh.

Good day. We went out to the park around 2 for a community day, got in a good 3km walking. It was really nice outside and very enjoyable. Otherwise, we didn't do a whole lot. Got the edge pieces done on the new puzzle. Had a nice roast for dinner. Played some video games. Watched a little tv. All in all, a calm Sunday.

Have to write blog posts today, prep for a webinar next week, finish a class. Busy week. Getting my tattoo finished tomorrow. 

ANA Y1 D359

Was up until 2am last night. But this time it was our own fault. We worked on the puzzle from like 8-10, and then we made the bright decision to watch a spoopy movie from 10-12. We watched Hereditary and scared the crap out of ourselves. Not going to bed any time soon after watching that! So while I "slept in", I still only had six hours sleep time. Oops.

We had a fun day yesterday. We went out around 10:30 for food and fun. The place we wanted to go is closed on weekends to give their employees a break which is pretty nice. We ended up instead at one of the other places on our list. We have a list of 38 restaurants "you must not miss" and then another 10 with rooftop dining. This place, Johnny Noodle King, is on both. Very cool place. We had some awesome noodles and lobster rangoon. From there we ended up in Mexicantown. It's really called that. I know how racist that sounds, but that's what it's called! Anyway, first stop was a bakery. Got some nice snackies for only $7. Then next door for frutas and the like. We had fun playing tourist. But driving back we had to go through some sketchy areas and it led to a good discussion on how do you "fix" this? How do you help people in these areas? It was a very deep conversation that was interesting.

Came home and I honored a promise I made back in Reno. Since C tried In-N-Out for me, I went to Five Guys for her. It was meh. Good shake. I hate their fries. The burger was solid but bland. I don't get the hype. I guess that makes us even. 

Today more puzzle, then a trip to the park to get in some walking.

ANA Y1 D358

Hello weekend! We have been home almost one week. This time last week we were enroute from Colorado to Nebraska. WTF? My life is very strange and that's okay. I had a great day yesterday. Didn't go to sleep until after 1am but here I am, up and raring to go. The morning started off with therapy, then stupidhead came over. MY BASEMENT IS FINALLY EMPTY! Yes people, after nearly six months, all of their shit is out of my house. It's a miracle. One small step for them, one big step for my sanity. I then spent the rest of the day working on my frustrating tool. I made some headway with it, but not enough to make me happy. It's a stupid tool. But I will make it work. Going to take a little break from it next week to recover my sanity. When I was done with work I made dinner. Steak and lobster because I am a spoiled princess and need to eat like one bitches. After dinner we setup a table in the game room to start our new puzzle this weekend. 3000 pieces of crazy. We can do it. Then we played WWE 2K23 until midnight. Yeah, I know. We caved in and bought it and it's super fun. The customization screen is HUGE and took forever. We started on the story mode too. We went to bed but it turned out neither of us was quite sleepy yet. We ended up having some sexy fun time until after 1am. That's how you start a weekend. Okay, time to move! We have some fun things scheduled for today.

ANA Y1 D357

Had my second of four dental appointments yesterday. This one was a little rougher than the last. We did my upper right quadrant and it hurt. Some areas just refused to get numb. But this is overdue and I have no one to blame but myself for it. The dentist did the best she could at being gentle, she was kind, she took a break when needed, and in the end we got all the nasty tartar and plaque. Do this now and I will keep my teeth into my 70s. That's what I have to keep reminding myself. Got back from that, worked on stuff, made dinner, watched some tv, went to bed. It's so easy to slip right back into daily life. But I am still antsy and want to be outside after our trip. We did so many things it's hard to sit still. Luckily we have stuff coming up that will keep me busy including seeing C's mom, housesitting for her sister, and just general stuff. Plus the weather is slowly getting nicer which means Saturday Market time again. We also have decided we're going to start playing tourist in our own city. 4.5 years I have lived here and I have been downtown to just explore a grand total of one time. That needs to change. Maybe if I explored I'd be less negative about things. Maybe. Today though is therapy and more document writing. Therapy will be interesting. I haven't heard from stupidhead since Tuesday. Good? We shall see.

ANA Y1 D356

I have to move quickly this morning. Have a dentist appointment at 8. Second of four. I am not doing well today. While I can understand it, the cat's have been driving us nuts since we got home. They've been extra clingy and needy. I was up most of the night constantly throwing a cat off me. She kept trying to sleep on me or snuggle up right in between us. The problem is she is so stupid she puts her whole body on top of my face and I can't breathe. I spent most of the night flinging her off. Fucking cat.

Work day yesterday. Nothing of any note. Gave a presentation. Went fine. Made a pork roast for dinner. We watched some tv. Played some cards. Went to bed. I miss our trip. I miss doing things. I was antsy last night as a result. The weather here of course sucks ass. Why wouldn't it? It was down in the 40s at like 7pm which made it hard to do anything. This morning it's 35 right now. Fuck this. All I wanted was to be able to go for a walk last night and it was too cold. In May. Whatever.

Today is dentist, more work stuff. I can't believe it's almost the weekend again. Not sure what we're doing.

ANA Y1 D355

Ten days and we will begin a new year. Wow. How time flies when you're going crazy? Got a lot done for work yesterday. I had to prep for a presentation today, have a new class to finish, and have other stuff to get done by the end of the month. I am busy and it's all good. Stupidhead has a job interview today. Let's see what comes of that. Went skateboarding last night. Hurt my wrist. Meh, all good. We watched two movies - Super Mario Brothers and Evil Dead Rise. The first was meh. Not horrible, but it was acceptable for what it was. The second I truly enjoyed. EDR pays perfect homage to the original while still being its own movie. We did stay up until after 11 though watching movies. Little tired today but nothing horrible. Other than that, sliding back into the groove of being home. Made fish tacos and elote for dinner, left the house only long enough to get more groceries. Otherwise, same ol same ol.

ANA Y1 D354

Well, today marks one year. It was one year ago that after coming home from an incredible weekend with my kid and seeing Pearl Jam, that my then wife said "I'm a lesbian, I want to have sex with other people specifically women". Here we are a year later and clearly they meant A as they had met them back in April. Oh the things we have learned, eh kids? But you know what? In hindsight, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I'm serious. I have never felt more complete, whole, and myself. I've never had a partner that loves me so truly or deeply. I've never given myself in full to a relationship and the difference is amazing. I am happy. At least with that part of my life. Other areas still need work, but damn, I am happy.

Okay, yesterday. BIG day. The cats have been driving us nuts since we got home and yesterday was no exception. They will not leave us alone. Pawing, climbing, whining. I never have wished harm on an animal but I almost threw them outside to fend for themselves. Bye, have fun! I got to have an adventure for work. I submitted my name change paperwork. I also got fingerprinted and mailed that off to the MI police. Yep. It's in process. Now I sit and wait for everything to move forward. Next step is a court date where I appear in front of a judge, they approve or deny my request, and if approved I can get all new IDs. YAY! I will have a license in my name and gender. Very excited about this. It did take going to multiple locations, buildings, and paying $400. They do not make this easy. Plus it's only the first step. Once I get forms saying it's approved I then have to call everyone under the sun and get them to change my name. I expect to be finished by 2024. Seriously. If I can go into next year and not have my old name, I will be happy.

We also went grocery shopping yesterday as our house was bare. To be expected though. We cleaned it all out before we left on purpose. Came home, worked on getting all the garbage out, including stupid head's remaining shit in my basement. Then I worked on putting all the pictures from our trip up and sharing them with people. 951 shared pics. Well over 1000 taken in two weeks. After, I made chicken pasta for dinner. We watched a little tv, had sex, tried to sleep with cats climbing all over us.

Today I have to write a new class, prep for a webinar session tomorrow, and just be. 

ANA Y1 D353

My brain is off. I was thinking today was significant for something, but that's not until tomorrow. We will discuss it tomorrow. Today IS significant because it marks our eighth month anniversary. Holy crap. 8 months.

We are home safely after another 11 hour drive. The fucked up part is that less than an hour into MI I was already pissed off. Seriously. The people here just make me mad. C pointed something out last night about how things look here. Desaturated is the word she used. What a perfect world. She said compared to everything on the west coast, everything here just seems flat and dull. She's absolutely right. The colors, the people, the buildings. It's all dead compared to what we just saw. I have to get out of this state.

Back in CO we did some really fun stuff. We had a long driving day from Nevada, but we ended our trip nicely. We had food from a Native American Chipotle basically. Bison with quinoa type of food. Was really good. Then we went to this thing called Meow Wolf. I don't even know how to describe it. A massive interactive art exhibit. It was incredible. If you're ever in Denver you have to go.

Yesterday we left at 1:50am. Drove and drove. I am going to calculate out today how many hours we drove total, but it's a lot. Iowa was once again boring as shit. Illinois was uneventful. 11 hours we made it home. Spent the night doing laundry, unpacking, being yelled at by stupid cats. We got everything put away, had Del Taco for dinner, and went to bed at 9:45. I slept until 6:15. Glorious.

Today I have to catch up on emails, pick up prescriptions, go to the courthouse to file my name change, and deal with things around here.

ANA Y1 D352

We are home. The last 11 hour drive was done today. Everything is put away. Dishes are washing. Clothes are washing. I will recap tomorrow as tomorrow is an important day.

ANA Y1 D351

We are in Denver and you know what? We like it here. we did some surprisingly fun things last night, completely unplanned. First off, Vegas pissed us both off. Too hot, too crowded, too annoying. We tried to walk the strip at one point and just hated it. Vegas as a concept is fun, Vegas in reality is a shit show. Neither of us enjoyed ourselves and couldn't wait to leave. We got on the road at 4am and never looked back. It was a LONG DAY of driving. Fuck I hate this keyboard. This is one of the reasons my posts have been so short. This keyboard sucks. Anyway, the drive was long and tough and we hit Denver right at rush hour. It was a slog. But we made it. After checking in we went and had Native American food for dinner. Really good. From there we went to this thing called Meow Wolf. It's an interactive art thing. I literally can't describe it properly in words. It's something you have to experience for yourself. But it was awesome. In bed around 10:30.

Off to NE today. Almost home kids.

ANA Y1 D350

Internet here sucks. Have to head to CO. More later or tomorrow. Vegas. Decent day. Bills paid. Ready to be home.

ANA Y1 D349

The last few days have been a bit of a blur. Too many places and people in too short of a time. We have things to do today and I may cancel one of them to just give ourselves a break. Tuesday we went to the city for the day. Met up with one of my friends. We had a great time strolling the wharf, going to the Exploratorium, and just sightseeing. That night we did the work dinner. It went better than any of us expected. C survived. But we got back later than planned and had little sleep. Hence yesterday's brief update. The drive here was uneventful. We got stuck in traffic in LA as one does. We went to Downtown Disney, went to Trader Sam's, then back to the hotel. Last night we met friends at Bubba Gump's, walked around Garden walk, then crashed out. This morning is critter breakfast at the hotel, off to riverside, then vegas. We are in the home stretch. Just a few more days and we are home. What an adventure this has been.

ANA Y1 D348

In Anaheim. We left at 3, got here at about 9 thanks to traffic. Had a fun day. Shopped, ate, and played. Now we shall nap and you'll get more tomorrow.

Also, Chili has passed away. I got drawn into the drama at a BAD fucking time last night, but it is what it is.

ANA Y1 D347

We're back in the bay area and I have such mixed feelings. I miss it yet it's not my home. It feels familiar but completely foreign at the same time. We started the day having breakfast with the kid which was a lot of fun. She took us to one of her favorite places and we had a good time. From there we drove on down. As soon as we hit the bay bridge that old feeling of annoyance started creeping in. Too many people in too small a space. We got to the hotel around 1pm and they wouldn't do an early check in due to some fire alarm bullshit. I call bullshit because the girl at the desk was just snotty about it. Fine. I took C on a tour of the bay area instead. Showed her all my old haunts, where I grew up, things like that. She was genuinely interested in things which was nice. Got back to the hotel around 2:30 when they finally let us check in. We then headed over the hill to the ocean. I miss my ocean. I miss my beach. We had a nice walk, then dinner oceanside. Wonderful italian place with an hour and 45 minute dinner. It was beautiful and romantic. We got back to the hotel around 9 and just collapsed. 

Today we are taking BART into the city and then, it's the night she's been dreading, work dinner. We will get through it, I promise. Tomorrow we're off to Disneyland early. Late post tomorrow kids, sorry.

ANA Y1 D346

Had a good day. Last full day with the kid. Most time I have spent with her in a while. I do miss her quite a bit, but I know and can see she's doing well. She's got a good partner and a good life. We started the day by going to the Denny's next door. Why? Because it was next door. Hotel breakfast here is less than stellar to be honest. Kind of disappointing. After we met the kid downtown for Community Art Day. There is literally something happening every day in this city. I kind of like that. We then parted ways for a little while. We went back to the room and napped. After we went to the store, got ingredients for dinner, and went to the kid's house. I made a braised rabbit for dinner. It was awesome. We then hung outside eating watermelon and talking. About 7:30 we headed out. We got back and had some fun of our own. 

Today we are meeting up for breakfast, saying our goodbyes, and heading to the bay area. This afternoon is beach day. Two days in SF area then off to SoCal. We are halfway through this trip and still have much to see. We will be home in six days.

ANA Y1 D345

All traces of Friday were erased with yesterday. We spent 12+ hours with the kid, her sister, the boyfriend, and it was wonderful. We ate, we drank, we shopped. We had the kind of time I expect to have with her. Made me very happy. We started by picking her up at 8:45am and cleared the air about some stuff. That helped. We first went to a downtown farmer's market where we got side dishes for tonight's meal. Then we walked up and down downtown. The kid's sister met up with us. and from there we had a blast. Toy store, candy store, indian food for lunch, music store, clothing, a wild bar, wine tasting, sushi for dinner, back to the house for board games. We left around 9:45, got ready for bed and collapsed. Today we have another market, then making dinner at their house. Tomorrow our journey continues. Off to the Bay area.

ANA Y1 D344

Yesterday was rough. The first part was good. We picked up the kid and went to Sacramento. We walked around, we had a good lunch, but then during lunch I made a comment that made things awkward. It's what I do you know? I crossed a boundary accidentally. I forget sometimes how much I am asking the kid to accept in one fell swoop. I have been dealing with everything for a year, she hasn't. So things got all quiet. I ruin everything, we all know this. C and I went back to the hotel and had just a rough night. She thinks the kid hates her, I think everyone hates me, you know, a regular day in my broken brain. Let's make this all right and move forward dammit.

ANA Y1 D343

Slept in again. Well, I slept until 5:30. That counts, right? We are in Chico! We made it here at about 11:30 yesterday. Checked into the hotel, went to Del Taco, Target, a cool rock shop, a huge antique store, then back to the hotel to wait for the kid to get off work. We went over to her house at 5:30. I almost cried when I saw her. I miss her so much. We had a great night with her. We went to a downtown festival, had noodles, Mexican ice cream, stopped at a speakeasy, and just caught up. Her and C got along great. Her house is awesome. So proud of her.

Today we're going to Sacramento, then sushi for dinner. We have much to do until we leave here on Monday. I am going to enjoy every second I can with her. We also talked about moving here. How ironic would it be for me to have had to move all the way to MI to find happiness just to move back? 

ANA Y1 D342

 Ah finally a day where I don't have to go crazy and leave at 2am. I mean it is 4:40 here, but that's acceptable. I had a good six hours of sleep. More than enough. We drove yesterday here, told you about our morning. For the evening, we went back to the "row" which basically El Dorado, Silver Legacy, and Circus Circus. We had sushi for dinner, I got a slot machine to bring home, we got giant drinks in a bowling pin, walked around. We got back to the hotel around 8, had some fun time (second time on this trip and it makes twice in three days. Oops), and went to bed around 10:30.

This morning it's waffles, then off to Chico to see the kid. Nervous and excited at the same time. She doesn't get off work until 4, so we have to kill some time. We will do dinner with her tonight and hang out. Tomorrow is Sacramento. Then who knows what. We will be with her until Monday.

Waffle time!

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We're in Reno. Been here since about 8:30 and we just checked into the hotel. We spent the morning at the casinos having breakfast, gift shopping, gambling, and just relaxing. We had in-n-out for lunch and now about to nap. we will head back downtown later.

Yesterday was good. We did the dress appointment in the morning. I found the perfect wedding dress. Now I just need to come up with the money for it. I have to admit, I had the time of my life. I tried on like six dresses, showed them off, my sister cried when I came out in "the one". C's face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. I've never felt more me than at that moment. I was crying too. It's a $1700 dress and they need $900 to order it. I don't know how, but I will find a way. After we went to the zoo instead of the aquarium. We had a fun time. Spent time with my sister, had Hawaiian food for dinner, crashed out, on the road at 3.

Tomorrow we finally hit the kid. 

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FINALLY! A good night's sleep and a day where we actually did stuff!! Yesterday I was so pissed off at that room that I woke up C at 4, and got the fuck out of there. I did tell the front desk on the way out what was going on. The front desk girl could see I was dripping in sweat and closed the room off until maintenance could look at it. We then made the 5 hour drive to ID. We rolled in around 10:15, had breakfast, then headed to my niece's house. We met "the baby". Yep. It's a baby. Does absolutely nothing, like babies do. I enjoyed talking with my sister and niece but I can see how every activity revolves around the kid. I mean it should, it's exciting for them. But for us, meh. We then went and checked into the hotel. While our room is not fancy in any way, the air works, the bed is comfy, and that's all that matters. We took a nice nap, got ready and met the family for dinner. We had a good dinner together, went back to my sister's and chatted until about 10:30. We then had sex for the first time on this trip. Woo!!

Today we're doing dresses, the aquarium, then going to bed early. We're heading to Reno tomorrow and I want to have a decent time there. We only have the one day really and I want C to experience it right. We're almost to the real destination of this trip, the kid. Once we hit her, we will have some real fun! Time now for waffles! 

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I just had the worst night sleep of my life. The AC in this room appears to not be working and the room didn't get below 75 all night. I tried to go downstairs at one point to complain but the front desk was 10 people deep. I just want to go. I wrote about our journey already so nothing more to tell. We ate dinner, watched tv, went to bed. I am done. Just done.

Today we head to ID to see my sister and family. Very excited.