ANA Y5 D91

Still quiet

Quiet day. Didn't do a whole lot. Went on another night walk. Back to the grind today. 

ANA Y5 D90

Silence

Pissed off at people. We worked our ass off from 8 until 1pm just to have the showing cancelled. BUT on the plus side the house is immaculate? I mean like eat of the floors clean. Oh well. Less that has to be done next time. We've just got to sell this house. Dropping the price on Friday if need be.

Had leftovers for dinner. Took doggo for a walk around 9:30.

We made a big decision yesterday. We were laying out how things might look in the new house. Furniture, design, etc. We have decided no tv in the living room. Only one in the guest room for C's dad. We honestly both had a "can we do this?" moment when we decided. Like yeah, screw it. Upstairs is for living, downstairs is for media. We're going to have audio up and down, but no tv up. We will have a tablet in the kitchen, but that's it. Curious to see how this goes. 

ANA Y5 D89

Scream

Packed, worked, cleaned. Showing at 4pm today. Hopefully someone wants to buy this house.I might have to drop the price. We'll see. We have to be out from 3:45 until 5. Please wish us luck. 

ANA Y5 D88

Still screaming bad

Got half a million rows loaded yesterday. Veryhappy. Got more boxes from home depot. Got to pack and clean. Too busy. 

ANA Y5 D87

Scream. Bad. Since 3:20am.

I am not functional right now. I have been up and down for 3 hours. Not happy. People coming to look at house Saturday. Too much to do. 

ANA Y5 D86

Still quiet.

So...

We bought a house. 182. Up 7 from my offer, down 7 from the listing. Everyone wins. Now begins the hard part. Selling ours, packing, and moving. Almost 8 years I have lived here. Time to start new memories and new chapter. I think we're going to be happy in the new house. We shall see. I am knocking 90k off my mortgage debt so that makes me happy. House is almost the same size. Different neighborhood for sure. 8 miles from work. BIG ass kitchen. I am excited and terrified at the same time. 

ANA Y5 D85

Silent for now. Yesterday's didn't last. It came on when I was throwing up from my meds. They ripped my stomach up. Hopefully no repeat of that today.

Worked on my database. Made dinner. Took Sandy to vet. Soft tissue sprain. She's on bed rest. 

ANA Y5 D84

Finally silence.

Also finally cool weather. Slept with the windows open last night for the first time in months. Felt good. I need a sweater this morning.

Happy birthday to one of my oldest and dearest friends.

Went to urgent care yesterday. Got antibiotics for the cyst on my back. Did laundry. Kept the dog as inactive as possible to help her llimp. Hoping to get into doctor today. Made pork tenderloin for dinner. Watched a documentary. Had a good Sunday. C's work schedule is fucked because of the upcoming holiday. So she has to work today. Bullshit.

Still nothing on the house. 

ANA Y5 D83

Silence so far

I have a bump on my back. Going to urgent care at 9:30am to see what the hell it is. Did laundry yesterday day. No news on anything.  

ANA Y5 D82

Screaming. Day 6.

Put another offer in on a house. Hoping to hear about it. Listed ours. Got my database at work. Huge milestone on my project. Going to build it out starting Monday. Friend came over, made pizzas together. Had nice night. Laundry and packing today.

ANA Y5 D81

Screaming. Yesterday's silence didn't last either. Turned into scream about an hour in.

My realtor is taking me on a video tour of a house at 11, I told him I am not driving this weekend. But this might be a solid one. It's a flip, and I know what they bought it for back in April. They are looking to make a quick buck and get out. I am having him check specific things and if it passes, we offer low. 

I finally got past a major work hurdle yesterday. I am getting a database today. That changes everything. I am excited to get it all setup.  

ANA Y5 D80

Silence

Went and looked at a house at lunch. Delusional. 212k for something worth 155. Hole in the roof. Seriously. Pre-foreclosure. I'm going to watch it and wait for them to come to their senses. Made burgers for dinner.  

ANA Y5 D79

Silence? What is going on with the pattern? I don't like changed patterns. It's weird. 

Worked. Took my intern to lunch. Made quesadillas for dinner. Going to look at a house during lunch today.  

ANA Y5 D78B

Oh look, the rare and elusive second post in a single day. It doesn't happen often people, bask in it's glory. Why the second post? Because all I did on the drive in today was think and listen to my head scream. I am done. I am so fucking tired of moving forward and nothing changing. I really am doing my best but clearly my best isn't good enough. It never is. I talked to my sister the other day. She was telling me how she's moved back in with our dad. Our stepmom had a stroke and they need the help. He's turned 78 last week and can't manage a 5 acre farm on his own. Here's the catch - she was telling me how there are holes in the walls, mold, areas of the house that need gutting, dry rot, windows need replacing, how neither of them have any teeth left because they have no dental insurance, the list went on. Yet somehow I have never heard her happier. How? Why? WTF? How can you be happy in that? If that is my future, then kill me now. That's no way to live. What's the fucking point? I don't get it. My ideation is through the roof right now. All of this house shit and job shit and everything else is sending me. I can't take it any more. I don't want to take it any more. And if that is where all this is leading me? Then you can fucking have it.

ANA Y5 D78

Screaming

No house for us.

Rethinking everything. 

ANA Y5 D77

Back to screaming. And screaming bad.

In about 12 hours we will find out on the house. I am keeping my expectations low. No use in getting excited for something that hasn't or might not happen. Getting screwed is the story of my life. 

ANA Y5 D76

Silence still.

We are in a bidding war. We will know tomorrow night by 6pm if we got a new house. I spent the day looking, found one, and really like it. I am up against another couple. Sacrifice chickens for us people.

We started packing last night. This needs to happen. 

ANA Y5 D75

Silence.

The pattern has changed. I don't know why. More research is needed.

Worked. Ordered boxes for packing. Live streamed.

Going to look at two houses today. This may be it. 

ANA Y5 D74

Scream day two, let's see if we stick with old pattern or new pattern.

Realtor came over yesterday. Took pictures, prepped paperwork. We're not listing yet, but we have everything ready to pull the trigger.

Worked. Made tacos. Played games. Went to bed. Wished my sister a happy birthday. 

ANA Y5 D73

Still silent. I don't know what's changed but I have had 4 out 5 quiet days. What gives?

Did my presentation yesterday and knocked it out of the park. Looked at houses at lunch. No luck. Took C to the mall. She got new jeans. Went to bed. 

ANA Y5 D72

Silence

Shortest gap ever. Yesterday was good. I am pre-approved for a house. My boss is now letting me work three days from home until we move. Going to look at a house at lunch.  

ANA Y5 D71

Screaming. It's making up for lost time. I hit a record yesterday. Two FULL days with no screaming. A full 48 hours. Of course now it has a point to prove.

Worked. Meetings. C forgot to take out the chicken so we had a pizza. Said no to the house we looked at Sunday. Two more on the list. 

ANA Y5 D70

Still quiet so far.

We liked the house. Now we need to sit on it and decide if we want to make an offer. I am weighing the pros and cons in my head right now. More to come on that.

We made a whole day of it. Went to the fancy grocery store, had dinner, showed C my work. It was a really good day. 

ANA Y5 D69

Silence so far

Got a lot done yesterday. Laundry, hair, groceries, cleaning, worked on my app, made fajitas for dinner, streamed, took the dog out multiple times - too hot for a walk, I don't know, other stuff too. Felt like a full day.

Today we're going to look at a house. 

ANA Y5 D68

Scream.

Worked. Had deployment meetings. Project plan updates. Reviewed milestones. Whee.

Made rabbit! That was fun and made me happy. Came out really good. Watched a movie with C. Worked on my new app. Went to bed. 

ANA Y5 D67

Scream.

I had to sit through a four hour workshop yesterday. The point of it was:

"Here's how you can you use AI to build tools to solve problems!"

Except what I do is:

"I build tools that use AI to solve problems"

I was not the target audience. But I got another free lunch and a t-shirt. Go me. Made fish for dinner. Tonight is rabbit!! Excited about that. Therapy in a little while. Go me. 

ANA Y5 D66

Blessed be the silence.

People I know have birthdays this month but I can never keep track of the dates. Hopefully I won't miss any. I think I am good for another week before the first one.

Worked. Spent two hours in a BORING ass meeting. I wasn't the only one who thought that as I caught three people falling asleep. Came home, made chicken tacos. C got her update from the court. On 9/2 without a hearing, she will officially have her name changed! Way to go!! One more thing checked off our list. Proud of her.

Have to go into the office today. 4 hour meeting today. Plus a 30 minute one. So the majority of my day will be spent in meetings. Whee. 

ANA Y5 D65

Scream

Boring day in the office. I did stuff. Had meetings. Waited on people. Woo.

Came home, made salmon. Gamed together. Went to bed. Woo. 

ANA Y5 D64

Scream

Got C to the court yesterday and kicked off the process. She should get hers done faster than I did. They've changed the rules and she doesn't need the fingerprinting or other crap. Let's see.

We had dinner out last night. Going to look at a house on Sunday.  

ANA Y5 D63

Silent so far.

Yesterday was brutal. Bad weather. Screaming head. Got laundry done. Got the house cleaned. Made ribs for dinner. Going to the courthouse with C this morning. Helping her turn in her paperwork. Moving things forward. Her dad was in the hosipital yesterday but seems to be out and doing okay as of last night. Not bad enough she needs to go down there. We will know more today.

ANA Y5 D62

Head is screaming. It came back around 10am yesterday while I was waiting for the dog. The weather dramatically changed. We clearly had issues in the night as the kitchen clocks are flashing. I figure we lost power somewhere around 2am.

Today is going to suck ass. I already sadly know this.

Took dog to groomer, got some groceries, did laundry, cleaned, 3 hour live stream, made butter chicken for dinner. 

ANA Y5 D61

Mostly silent? Like lingering on the edges but no full blown?

Went to the lake again last night. We had a fun time. Dog likes water, hates swimming. It's a start. We can work with that. Had shawarma bowls. Really good. Did some work stuff. Caught up with my old boss. That place has turned into a complete shit show. Good.

Groomers today.