Still silent
Started the new meds last night. Let's see if I can break my own record and get three days of silence. I doubt it, but it's worth a shot. We ran so many errands yesterday. C got her name changed at her banks, I took care of starting the buyout lease process. We had to do these things in person and got them done. Good use of a day off.
Vet this morning followed by Chelsea Wolfe tonight!!
Silence
Had doctor appt yesterday. Getting more xanax and gabapentin. Moving into trying to treat my head from neuor perspective instead of auditory. We shall see how that goes. Doing a week test.
Took dog for walk. Made cheesesteak for dinner. One more day until our concert!!
Scream. Day 7.
A week of this nonsense. C is sisk. I am tired. Fuck all this. Just done with it all.
Scream
We had a good art prize. It was our fifth one and although this has been a rough year, our streak is unbroken! We left around 7:30am, got in a little after 9. We saw all sorts of cool art, had early dinner at a tiki place, came home, I livestreamed, we went to bed. I walked almost 9 miles yesterday according to my watch. Now to do nothing today.
Scream
Was up at 2:30am yesterday. Made that doc appointment. Worked until I had to leave. Was in and out in 15 minutes. Pretty cut and dry diagnosis. On Cipro. Worked the rest of the day. Paid bills. Had pizza for dinner.
Going to GR today without the dog. Art Prize baby!
Scream
Going to urgent care at 8:15. UTI. Lovely.
Spent the day optimizing and refactoring my loads. Got it down to under 5 minutes. That was my day. Watching paint dry, er no, sql running. Easy confusion. Made lamb for dinner. Played games.
Time to pay bills. Joy.
Scream
Spent all day staring at a loader. But after 9 hours I got everything working. I am running one final check this morning before this goes off to a qa server. Hopefully it will run.
Was so tired last night. Made butter chicken and fell asleep on the couch at 7:30. Crawled into bed 2 hours later. Just a couple more days and we get a break.
Scream
I fucked up at work yesterday. I wrote bad code that loaded 189m rows of data instead of 18.9m. It was bad. I pegged server cpus, I had to stay late to try and roll it back. I didn't get home until 7pm. Nightmare. Got home and ate leftovers and went to bed. I was drained mentally. Here's hoping everything will be okay today.
Silence
I am finding that six hours seems to be the sweet spot for me for hours of sleep and a silent head. More or less and I get screaming. No science behind that. Just observation. Regardless, it correlates. I need to track it and see. I can do a 30 day dump from my phone.
Did laundry, took care of house stuff. We went to sams club last night. I am now going to track our regular grocery spending for the next 6-8 weeks to see what we buy and how much. We should ONLY need perishables like dairy and produce for the next six weeks. If that holds true then the expirement is a success. By my calculations we got 40-45 meals from what we bought. More with leftovers. We shall see how it goes. Took us 2 hours to put everything away and packaged. Worth it though.
Today I have some work but nothing too pressing.
Back to screaming.
I stayed up too late last night and now I am paying for it. Head is screaming, I feel like I have wasted the morning. I hate it.
Did laundry, cleaned, made dinner, streamed, took dog for a walk at like 11pm. Went to bed around 1.
Silence so far
Had therapy yesterday. Discussed options for medications to help me when things get too loud in my head. We will see what happens when I talk to my primary. Worked all day. Finished moving files over. Had quesdillas for dinner. Watched a good movie. Good day overall.
Silence
Much better day yesterday despite my ears. Being home makes all the difference in the world. Not sitting in dumb traffic or sitting in an office just for looks. We made nachos last night. C cooked and I cleaned. Was very nice. New phone came. But cleaning old one off first. Therapy this morning. Much needed.
Scream
I spent most of yesterday pissed off. Pissed off I had to be in an office for zero good reason. Pissed off my head was screaming. I brought that all home with me and was a pain to be around all night. I need a solution to everything.
Scream
But it's because it was loud as fuck last night in the restaraunt. So I am not surprised. We had a great night. Good food. Good laughs. Good sex after. Not bad after 4 years together. I worked all day, came home early, got dolled up, we went to dinner, had a great night.
Silence
Today is our anniversary. Four years. Wow. Time flies. It never stops.
We're going to dinner tonight. We will go to art prize later in the month. Too much going on with work for both of us.
Off to work.
Silence.
Tomorrow is our 4 year anniversary. 4 years. Where did they go? I am not complaining. This is still the healthiest relationship I have ever been in.
C worked. I also worked in the house. I started moving boxes downstairs to make the upstairs look better. Got a lot accomplished. You don't walk in and feel crowded. Same with the closet room. I have more I can do, but not right now.
Not sure what I have to do today at work. Mostly meetings to start moving my shit to production.
Screaming. Kicked back in around 2pm yesterday. 36 hour break. Joy.
Took dog to groomer, went to stores, cleaned house, did laundry. Made salmon for dinner. Watched tv. Played games. Went to bed. C works today so there goes my sunday.
Still mostly quiet. Good.
Worked. C and I got into a major fight yesterday morning. The first real one in four years. Yelling. Really mad. We worked it out. She's overwhelmed. It's her job. I applied logic instead of compassion and it blew up in my face. We're good now. She got all her stuff done too. I am so proud of her. It all comes down to her job though. She needs to quit. Like now. Until then, it's a trigger. I just need to not pull it.
Dog groomer today. Joy.
FINALLY SILENCE. Even a short respite is a respite.
Worked. Worked. Worked. Made dinner. Went on walk. Taking C to court today to get her papers.
Still going.
I woke up at 4 and they were quiet. I should have stayed up.
We pulled our house off the market yesterday. We're going to focus on making it ready first. Move the furniture out to storage. Paint. Replace lights. That sort of thing. Then we will relist it with new pics. Hopefully it will go then.
Got some major shit done at work yesterday. More to do today.
Scream.
Sat through an entire day of AI bs yesterday. Long, tiring, annoying. C had someone have a heart attack in her kitchen yesterday. She basically saved them with her quick thinking. Proud of her. We went out and had a nice dinner because she was rattled and needed to go out.
Back in the office for more today.
Quiet so far.
Did nothing. Recorded new games. Mulled over my existence. Made dinner. Went to bed.
Back in the office today.
Still screaming. It rained last night at some point which is messing me up.
Did laundry. Not much else. I have today off and will have no guilt about it. No plans.
Yesterday's silence was short lived. Back to screaming.
Did laundry, had hair appointment, made lebanonese food for dinner. Streamed. Went on late night walk.
Silence.
Was very busy yesterday. Got a lot done at work before the holiday. Then we had to leave for the showing. Don't know yet if they liked it or not. Hair appt today and no work Monday.
Still screaming. Day 4.
Had my first real tornado warning yesterday. Two of them actually. It was kind of scary. Got a LOT done at work somehow. Very productive day.
House showing tonight. Need to clean and work. Fun times.
Screaming
We cancelled the house purchase yesterday. The inspection showed mold in the attic and some issues with the water heater. Both of which the seller refused to fix unless we paid for them. Like WTF? That's not how things work. He had a backup offer and we think he wanted us out anyway. Back to the drawing board.
Did lots of work yesterday and more on the horizon. Going to be a busy couple of days but Monday is a holiday at least.
Still screaming
Worked. Power was out for hours last night. We had to eat out. Today C's name change is legal and final!! Celbrate!
