Y2 D264

Valentine's day. Yeah, whoopie. I remember what I did last year on this day. I had the kid and her friend with me and we were getting pissed off because we were trying to find some place to eat dinner and everyone had stupid special menus. I just wanted regular food.

I spent most of the day in the house yesterday. Did some thinking about things. Mostly trying to piece together the blank spots from Saturday night. Turns out I didn't forget my friend; I did offer to drive him home but he wanted to stay later. I left around midnight and he ended up staying until about 2:30. According to him we had a whole conversation about it. The problem is, I don't remember any of it. Plus I had another friend text me during the day apologizing for a comment she made and while I told her I appreciated her apology, I had no clue what she was talking about.

That's the shit that scares me. I don't remember driving home. I don't remember much of anything after about 11. I am going to get myself arrested or killed if I pull that shit anymore. I miss being able to walk home drunk instead of having to drive. No more. I am done with it.

Besides that I did a lot of thinking about the past. The past is the past for a reason. You can't change it, you can play what if all you want but it doesn't make a difference. I was specifically thinking about how some people I used to know in the old town didn't even bother to make an effort to come see me and the kid while we were there. I sent out messages but no response. If that's the way it is then so be it. The past can stay where it is. I have plenty in my life right now to focus on and think about that I am not going to lose sleep over what was.

Speaking of sleep, I slept like shit last night. Tossed and turned all night. Don't know wh.y. Bad dreams. First dream about X2 in a long time. Honestly I haven't dreamt about her in quite a while. It was just one of many that I had last night, but it was enough.

I loaded the Kindle yesterday. I am amazed at how many books are only $2 or $3. I added 17 books to it yesterday. I have enough reading material for a while and I still have $50 in my gift card balance. I am saving it as there are a couple of books coming out later this month and early next that I want. Now I have to decide if I buy the hard back or the digital version. They are authors I truly love so I will probably buy the hardbound editions.

Working from home again today. I have to work on a document again for a client. Only downside is once again I may not leave the house. Let's see how the old brain deals with that. Upside is I won't be subjected to the bs of Valentine's day by being inside all day. Something positive at least.