Y5 D67

Yesterday was really uneventful. Like to the extreme. Did some work, scheduled a few meetings, made pineapple chicken with fried rice for dinner, dyed my hair, watch some TV, and played Sims. Went to bed around 11, had the sex, fell asleep. There ya go. My whole day. No drama, no issues. The kid got her shit resolved with KBF which made us all happy. I got 4 free months of satellite radio on the car turned on. Hooked my car up to My Mazda website. That's pretty neat actually. It's a great way to keep track of things especially since this is a lease. I know they will have all my records in one place. Um... that's really it. B and I took a nice walk. We are really in a good place with stuff. I also realized why I like my new car so much - it has the same lines from the side as a Maserati Quattroporte. Minus the $127,000 price tag. I'm serious. Look up a pic of the Maserati and then look at the pic of my car. Same scoops on the front and sides. I am sure this is intentional and I am not complaining. Still happy with it five days in. Have a meeting with a client in 2 hours face to face. Time to look like I know what I am doing.

Y5 D66

People still use checks? I was just logging into the bank and it had a message for me - according to our notes you might be low on checks, you should re-order! Um, yes,  I do only have one book left, but guess what? It took TWO YEARS to go through the last one. I think I am good. But hey, thanks bank!

In other news...

Little bit of drama between the kid and B yesterday. I got stuck in the middle unfortunately, but what are you going to do? They are adults, they can figure it out. Honestly, the problem really was with the kid and KBF. He once again blew it in terms of being a good boyfriend/partner/friend. He was on some list for Burning Man tickets. First off, he put himself on the list for only one ticket AND he didn't tell the kid he was putting himself on the list. This was like six months ago when they were definitely together. He has no excuses. Yesterday he got his ticket - $380. She doesn't have that kind of money right now. She tried talking to him but he didn't respond because of work. Therefore she was in a shit mood ALL day and any little thing B and I said or did, set her off.

What did we do yesterday? Not much. I did some conf calls, organized some work stuff, but otherwise it was a light day. Sims playing, made leftovers for dinner, and some tv watching. We watched a couple of episodes of Project Runway. That's about it.

We are thinking of going to Disneyland on Wednesday after a meeting. My friend is going to be down there and he has room for us to join him so no hotel cost, the new car gets 40 mpg so less on gas, and no buying stuff. Just a quick go on rides, come home time.

We all relaxed and played Sims until the wee hours. At around midnight the fire alarm in the building behind us went off which was fun. By 1 we were all in bed and done for the day.

Today is a new day and so far so good.

Y5 D65

Let's not talk about minutia today. Let's dive deep into the psyche and examine the good stuff. Peel back the layers like an onion and really dig under the surface to see what's REALLY going on with me lately.

Ready for it? Not a fucking thing. Seriously. I am doing really well. Mentally, emotionally, and even physically. I don't know why, but I am. Maybe because I have found someone who really does make me feel good about myself? Someone who complements me and makes me feel more whole than when she isn't around? Maybe because I see lights at the end of all the tunnels financially? Who the fuck knows. All I know is for the most part, I feel pretty damn good about myself and I ain't complaining for once. Even work is going alright.

Yesterday was a pretty decent day. Started out a little rough. I ended up sleeping on the couch after the show the other night. Not because of anything B did or vice versa. When we got home from the show she went right to bed. I stayed up for a little while and realized I just wasn't tired yet. That caused me to fall asleep on the damn couch at 6 until 10. She got up around 11:30 and was worried that I slept out there because she had been cranky on the way home. Nope. All good babe.

We then went out and ran a couple of errands. I had a gift card for Best Buy so we picked up Sims Pets. At some point I want ALL the damn add-ons just because. I want to have a rockstar werewolf in 70s clothes who goes to college on an island with his pet hamster and throws snowballs! (That would be Showtime, Supernatural, 70's stuff, University Life, Island Paradise, Pets, and Seasons right there.) We also stopped at Home Goods because I needed a couple of pans for baking. I found what I wanted cheap. We stopped at In N Out for lunch. She enjoyed but didn't love but that was acknowledged by her as being her fault because of what she ordered.

Afterwards we came home, she played Sims while I made pineapple cakes. We took the cakes and headed over to our director's house for a prop building session and rehearsal. From 4-7 we built props, then we broke for dinner. Dinner turned out to be an adventure and I got pissed off. There were nine of us and we were on different checks which seemed to confuse the hell out of the guy at the Thai place. I ended up having to complain to the owner who in turn gave us free desserts for the table. However, I ended up not eating what I ordered because it didn't come in time. Lunch today.

Got back to the house and there were more people there ready for rehearsal. While that was annoying it was uneventful in the grand scheme of things. Got home around 11 and went to bed.

Light week this week. Couple of client meetings, some doc writing, and prep for a full week of training next week. Today shall be laundry day!

Y5 D64

Here we are 24 hours later and I can honestly say that I have no buyers remorse. That feels good. There have been plenty of things in my life where I have jumped the gun only to realize the next day that it was a stupid idea when it comes to big ticket purchases - art, Disney stuff, cars...

The nice thing too is all the support and understanding I am getting from everyone. Even if it's false, it feels good. I think because everyone can see I thought this through AND that I didn't buy some stupid play toy mid life crisis kind of car. Nor frankly did I buy something unreasonable. I didn't buy a BMW or a Mercedes. I didn't buy a Range Rover. I bought a practical car, for a good amount of money, and love it. Yay me.

Okay, other than the car...

I had 26 items on my to do list yesterday and managed to get through 23 of them. Some of them were dumb like 'nap' but others more significant. We drop off papers at the dealer, picked up the second key and manuals, read the manuals (learned more about my car), cleaned the cat, cleaned the hamster, bought a new hamster (all B, not on me), cleaned the fireplace, cleaned the desk (you sensing the theme?), stopped at the mall since B wanted to look at swimsuit tops. We did pop into a store where I had a credit that was about to expire. As a result of that, B got a new bracelet for free yesterday. Came home, made ribs for dinner, and headed off to the show.

Good show. Decent sized audience, no major issues. B was really tired on the drive home and a bit cranky. I haven't talked to her yet this morning. We got home around 3:30 and she went straight to bed. I stayed up on the computer and just screwing around because I wasn't tired enough. I ended up passing out on the couch around 6 and waking up around 10. I hope she doesn't think I was pissed at her or anything.

Today is a rehearsal from 4 to 10. I did get a bunch of work emails at the typical midnight time. Douchebag. Nothing horrible but I now have to interview some non-english speaking motherfucker for a staff aug. Whatevs.

Y5 D63

Total just realized I forgot to do an entry this morning. I have been up for about two hours and have been doing so many things already that it slipped my mind. Sorry to those of you my adoring audience of like four...

So...

I bought a new car yesterday.

Mazda 6. 2014 with 20 miles on it. Liquid Silver. Every option known to man - heated seats, memory power seats, passenger power seats, blind spot detection, sun roof, fucking pandora interface on the radio. Why? Because I have been thinking about how much I was going to have to pay into my car over the remaining payments. I had 26 payments left. Roughly $13,000. Add to that repair work. What I didn't let on to anyone last week was how fucking scared I was all week driving to the client. The front tires were shot on that thing. I mean SHOT. Like I could see metal on the edges all the way around. It was at the point where I was putting air in the tires 3 times a week because they were going flat. Every bump I hit worried me I was about to have a blow out. Had I NOT done a deal yesterday, I would be at the tire store right now replacing both front tires. The rears were also cracked and ready to go, but I could have gone another two-three months. Note I said, months, not years. They were ready to explode as well. It was a matter of time. When I added $500-$600 to the fact that I also needed:

- Tune up ($350)
- Radiator flush ($200)
- Brakes ($500-$750)
- Air filter ($40)
- Interior repair (??)
- Exterior repair (??)

It started frustrating me. I was going to be spending upwards of $2000 - $3000 over the next year or two. Because of all this, I knew if I wanted a car, I had to make sure it financially made sense based on all of the above. I had to balance out the out of pocket for however much longer the lease or purchase would be against the 26 remaining payments plus wear and tear, insurance, and gas. I couldn't buy something I would hate, something dumb, or something over-priced. Long list of things which is why this wasn't an impulse decision.

About two weeks ago, B and I were out for a walk and we came across a car that I surprisingly liked. The new Mazda 6. As she put it - it looks like a car for a guy who has his shit together without looking like an old man car or a douchebag BMW/Mercedes kind of car. Score. I agreed with her 100%. I went back a few days later and test drove it. I liked it. It has everything I want in a car without being overpriced. Sticker? $30,000. I started running numbers against a lease and realized that even if I had to roll in money, I would be FINALLY right side up in 3 years.

I sent the sales guy a text giving him ALL the information I could about my current car, my finances, my credit, etc. I prepped him in advance that I wasn't sure we could do a deal. I also told him I was upside down. Full fucking disclosure. He didn't respond for a while after we went back and forth on a few questions. I was teaching all day again yesterday and I was exhausted as it was, but at about 2 he texted me back saying - "okay, here's what I can do. I need to appraise your car, but I think I can do a lease with payments in this range, etc. Do you want it?" Yes. Yes I do. We went down there about 3 and by 6 I was driving home in a new car. Best part? I got the full service plan on it. For the next 39 months I have to do nothing but put in gas. NOTHING OUT OF POCKET. I have never had that. I am actually excited about that part. I know it's dumb, but it excites me. For the next 3 years I make payments and that is it. The addition of 13 payments to what I was already paying, is about $2000 more than the cost of keeping my old car based on expected costs, but that's $2000 for an ADDITIONAL YEAR of ownership. And at the end? I will FINALLY be clean and clear.

On a more emotional side? That was like the last vestige of my 'life down there'. This is now mine and B's car. This is the car we will make memories in for the next three years. Disney trips. Trips to the store. Whatever. This is our car. She doesn't like me saying that because she isn't contributing to it, but it is.

Next on the list? Dealing with the kid and her car situation. I think I have a solution on that too. More to come there.

So what else? After the car we all went to a friend's birthday party. A tiki kiki - which was fun. I was seriously dead on my feet from training and from dealing with the car so we stayed until about 10:30 and then headed home. Crashed out before midnight.

Add one more day to the list. I also think I did the right thing in the long run with the car. It's nice to make good decisions for once.

Y5 D62

I fear a showdown is about to happen in this house. A battle between B and the kid. There are plenty of things the kid does that drive me up a wall. I have complained about them here many a time, I will not deny this. However, as her parent, I keep it to myself and just complain about them here. Because I know the kid - she is emotional, she doesn't handle criticism well, etc. So I just deal with it. I also overlook certain things because, well, just because. But B isn't used to these things nor should she have to be used to them. She moved 2400 miles to be with me, not to deal with the kid. Yes, sometimes it's a package deal, but it also isn't. The kid is an adult. There are things she should be doing. Case in point? Her and KBF eat our food. I spent $165 on groceries yesterday and come home from the party last night to find things I had planned on me and B having gone. I don't mind feeding the kid, but I am not feeding that little shit. He has a parent. She can feed his ass. But the bigger issue of the night had to do with toiler paper. I rant all the time about how is it the kid can't figure out how to put a fucking roll of toilet paper on the holder?

Sigh. I am not looking forward to the inevitable big bang.

Taught yesterday. Six students, mostly good class. Some of them are a bit overwhelmed by the material I can tell. This is the most technical, almost all lecture, and driest of the classes I teach. It used to be a one day only class but people stressed. We added some material and made it two days, but it's still a lot to absorb. Hopefully I will be able to keep their interest today.

After class we went grocery shopping. Came back, hung out for a while, and then went over to my director's house. It was originally supposed to be a going away party, but the guest of honor got the date wrong. Goof. There were about seven of us just hanging out and drinking on a Thursday.

Got home around 11 and went to bed. I was tired for the obvious reasons and B read for a while. Around midnight though, she woke me up - for the sex. Word. Do you hear me complaining? Nope. I didn't have enough sleep because of it, but yeah, worth the trade off.

Tonight is a birthday party. The kid and KBF are going with us together. This could be interesting.

Y5 D61

Frustrated this morning. Tired. Exhausted to be honest. Today marks day 4 straight of training. Yesterday took a lot out of me. My class asked a ton of questions outside the material and while I encourage that, I had trouble balancing staying on topic and making sure they learned everything in the book and answering all their questions. On top of it, our annoying salesperson is at it again with a potential new customer for me to work on 'in my downtime'. He also had the nerve to say 'oh and on the weeks where you're only teaching a couple of days, you can give the client extra hours'. Extra hours motherfucker? Suck this. You obviously have no clue how fucking tiring this shit is. He honestly thinks I can teach for 16-24 hours in a week and still manage to do another 40 for a different client. Um, no. I will be so burnt out it's not even funny. Go fuck yourself buddy.

Taught all day, right up to the 5pm wire. I had been onsite since 6:40am and this made for a long day just on its own. After class I didn't want to deal with traffic so I headed to a nearby mall, had dinner at CPK and then headed home around 7:30. Traffic was still heavy and I didn't get home until 8:30. B and I tried to go to the hot tub but apparently it was all asian night at the hot tub. So that scrapped those plans.

For some reason it was hotter than fuck last night. We opened all the windows and doors and we were still hot. Although B gets major points for something

In bed around 10 we had this conversation:
B: By the way, once I have cooled down enough to handle being touched, we're having the sex.
Me: Oh we are, are we? What if I say no?
B: Tough.

Yeah. Got to admire that. And yes, we had the sex.

Y5 D60

Another day of training down. It was an okay day. We got through the material without issues. I hated the drive yet again, but nothing I can about it. Day three finally today and then I am done. B took public trans and met me at my client which was nice. I was very impressed she managed to do it to be honest. She has been here three weeks and has already figured out how to get around. Well done. We had dinner at a diner and then ice cream. Nothing exciting but it helped us avoid traffic on the way home. We got home around 8 and hung out with the kid and KBF. Played some scrabble which didn't go well for her and we ended up not finishing the game. She usually does well but we were both tired and it was showing. We were in bed by 10:30. Yes, we're old. Well, I am, she was just tired.

I am a little stressed out right now. Many reasons. Mostly work and the anticipation of a busy weekend starting tomorrow. We have a going away party tomorrow night, followed by a birthday party on Friday, followed by a show on Saturday, followed by a rehearsal on Sunday. No rest for the wicked. On top of it, I have two more days of training to give. Luckily they're from home.

I also have been thinking about doing something and I am worried it won't happen. More if it does, nothing if it doesn't. I know vague but honest.

Y5 D59

I really hate when a client gets away with murder. In this case I am talking about paying for 8 hours of my time and then sucking up 14 hours of my life. While I have nothing against the people at this client, I really dislike driving to them when there is no good reason. Everyone could be taking this class remotely and I wouldn't have to spend 4 hours of my day sitting in the car.

Left around 6, got onsite at 7, sat until 9, taught until 4:30. Had a minor heart attack after class. I decided to stay in the area to let traffic die down. I went to a local mall and when I pulled into the mall and grabbed a parking ticket, I realized I had no wallet. I had gone all day without my wallet. Nice move. Problem? I needed three dollars to get out of the parking garage. I had to find someone to validate me without purchase otherwise. I called B to verify my wallet was in fact at home (it was) and then I asked different retailers to help me out. Starbucks came through. I am going to go back tomorrow and give them $3.

After that panic I decided to head home. Yeah. 2 hours later I made it home. B had dinner ready for me. This was sweet BUT.... I had flashbacks to X1. Another situation where they are home all day and have dinner ready and want conversation and want me to eat and I just want to sit quietly and decompress. We will work it out because this time I know what it is I want and how to communicate it better without it turning into a fight. She did make a nice dinner of pasta with meat sauce.

We relaxed for a while and then went to bed. I passed right out. Slept pretty good.

Two more days of the same thing. Whee.

Y5 D58

Had a GREAT day yesterday. Got up and met some friends out at an old abandoned air force base. When the base shut down, they opened up the hangars and buildings for long term leases for folks. St George Spirits, maker of Hangar One vodka amongst other beverages, grabbed one of the Hangars. We spent the first part of the day touring the facility and sampling their vodka, their whiskey, their gin, and their absinthe. It was us, another couple, and two of their friends. What fun! They give you little dog tags to take home, plus you can keep your tasting glass which has a dragon etched in the bottom (you know, like St George killed), and one of their neighbors used to be a special effects company and asked them to store a shark for them. Yep. A shark. It's the shark from Deep Blue Sea and when the company went out of business, they left the shark. So St George has this animatronic shark right on their distillery floor. It once at Samuel L Jackson. I want these people as a client. One friend departed after the distillery part of the day but the five of us kept going. We ended up downtown at a fun Italian place. My friends were really considerate of B in that she is not yet quite as adventurous as we are in food. They found a place that worked for everyone. I appreciate that. Heck, I appreciate them including us in their fun in the first place. Since it was Sunday and after brunch time, we had the whole place to ourselves. We got there around 2 and had a nice two hour lunch. We had a wonderful burratta, fondue, I had a croque madame, B had gnocchi in a gorgonzola sauce and it was a fun time for all. Hands down though, the last stop of the day was the most fun - we went to an old school Tiki Bar Lounge. Complete with drinks on fire and tiki god fountains inside. WHAT A BLAST. I got hammered, no denial. I brought home a tiki mug and one of my drinks called the combover came with an actual comb. Yep, it was one of those cheesy goofy kind of places.

We got home around 8:30 from being out since 11am. LONG day of hanging out, drinking, and having fun. We collapsed around 9:30 as we both were exhausted.

Today through Wednesday, I am back onsite at a client teaching. Bit of a drive, but I will deal. It's the traffic home I am not looking forward to. This will be the first time B has been on her own since being here. Let's see how she does.

Y5 D57

Very busy day. Got a lot of things accomplished. More than I expected to be honest. We got up a little later than I planned, but it was definitely one of those days where I knew if I rushed because I felt like I had too much to do, that I would get it all done and then be like 'okay now what'. So instead of rushing, I went with the flow and managed to get everything accomplished at a decent pace without stressing.

First thing on our list was to hit target for some stuff. Before we did, we went to BJ's for lunch. I was pleasantly surprised. We had a nice lunch. I had a watermelon salad with a mini deep dish and B had a caesar salad with flatbread. It was nice, light, and not overly expensive. We then hit target and got all those errands done. From there we went to the pet store, then stopped and rented a carpet cleaner. I know that it wouldn't do as well as a professional but it would also be cheaper and less intrusive. That too was a surprise. We started the carpets around 3 and it took a couple of hours to do the whole place. I was pretty pissed off at the kid yet again. I asked her before I went out to make sure her floor was clear. That was at 11am. Four hours later when B and I got home from running all our errands, she was just getting around to cleaning her floor. The sink was filled with dishes, her room wasn't done, but she had time for the boy. I cannot wait for her to move into her own place and have to deal with picking her own shit up. I give them one week together in their own space before one of them gets pissed off at the other about either dishes or clothes or other crap all over the floor. They got her room ready and then they left for his place. Good. She spent the night there yesterday which actually made me happy. Regardless of B being here or not, I needed some time 'alone'.

Once the floors were done we headed back out to give the carpets time to dry. I was totally disgusted by the way at how much dirt we pulled out of the carpets. I emptied the thing 4 times and it was almost pitch black water each time. Speaking of Pitch Black, new Riddick movie is coming out. It looks AWESOME. More like the original Pitch Black than Chronicles. I never thought Chronicles was horrible, but it was nowhere near as good as the raw Pitch Black. This one looks very promising indeed.

We hit the bookstore where I got the new Terry Pratchett and the new Neil Gaiman. We went to the mall and wandered around a little. I got some new underwear. That is one of my next tasks - cleaning out my clothes. I have way too many plain and simple. We also went into Sears for some towels. The Sears by us is closing down and things are anywhere from 30% to 70% off. We got some nice bath towels for $7 each. Hand towels were $5. Another thing I need to go through. Next week I have to be onsite M-W, but I am going to try and start tackling some of these smaller things like towels and clothes in the evenings.

After the mall we went to the pub. That didn't turn out as well as I would have liked. It was too 'dirty' and dive for B's taste. She enjoyed her fish and chips, but didn't like the pub in general. It also didn't help that her cousin was texting her and they got into a big argument about B's dad. He is a shit disturber and one of the few things that can really set B off in terms of frustrating her and making her angry. It really put a damper on our night. I ended up withdrawing and shutting down because I kept wanting to say something but I knew it wasn't my place. We got home and both of us kind of retreated into books for an hour or so.

Around 11 I went to bed and she came in shortly after. There was definitely a wall between us but it was of my own doing and I hurt her feelings without meaning to. It was and is one of those things where I want to protect and help but know I can't and shouldn't when it comes to her family. I don't know them, I don't know what it's like to be separated from family you actually like, nor do I have the same kind of displacement feelings that she is experiencing. We got through it of course, but there was some hurt feelings on both sides frankly for a little while.

I do like how her and I work through things. We talked about what happened. I comforted her, she apologized to me, I apologized to her, and the night ended back on a positive note. In the end that's all that matters.

See? Busy day. Today we are meeting friends at the Hangar One distillery. Yes, the vodka people. We are going to a tasting. While it is a bit of a drive from our house, it should be fun because we really like the people we are going to be hanging out with today.

Y5 D56

For the first time ever, I almost kicked someone out of one of my classes. For being stupid. I am serious. I nearly lost my cool and had to breathe like crazy to keep from going off on them. I taught an ADVANCED class yesterday and this person was nowhere NEAR being an advanced student. I mean like light years away. At lunch I complained to my guy and he said I had every right to kick her out if I wanted and we would refund her money. I came so close. I am waiting for the complaint email saying how mean I was to her. Fuck it.

After class we hung out for a little bit and waited for a couple of friends to come over. They needed a ride to the show last night. The show was a charity event. Our third time playing this event. It's an annual thing this local college does. They start at 8:30 and it's 'family friendly'. That means we are turned down to PG and have to be very careful about what we say or do. I am okay with doing shows like this when it is a show like Reno and there are 1000+ people in attendance. But when it is a show like this where we had MAYBE 50 in the audience, it's a lot of work for very little payoff. No one likes doing this show, but it is good publicity for us and it gives a chance to stretch out legs if you will by being outside our normal venues.

Things of importance that happened at the show last - B has been accepted as one of us. That's the most important thing. My directors love her. They love how much she loves doing the show, how much she supports me, and they just flat out like her as a person. YAY! I know it may sound dumb that I care what other people think about her, but let's be realistic. The show and the people associated with it are a big part of my life. I needed them to all get along. Unlike a certain other GF I had, remember?

After the show, which went well, about 20 of us headed to Sonic for late night noms. A fun time was had by all. One of our friends who is a published author, brought B an autographed copy of her book. These two have been wanting to meet since B got here and they too got along wonderfully. It's like I have a girlfriend who knows how to interact with people and be friendly and people like and is good to me and for me and is sweet and has a good heart and...

You get my point.

And yes, I am feeling better today obviously. I think I just needed to get out of the house and interact with people. Been almost two weeks since my birthday and I have been around a small group in that time. It was healthy to get out with a larger group.

Today we are cleaning the carpets. Whee!

Y5 D55

Hey there. What's going on? Yeah? Cool. Oh nothing. Just chilling. Yeah still feeling a bit out of sorts, but you know how it is. I will make it through. I am just glad I am not alone right now. Alone would be harder. Much harder.

Taught again yesterday. Class went right to the wire as I expected. With such a large class it happens. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and learn something though which at the end of the day is all that matters. B was getting frustrated yesterday just sitting at home which I understand. She spent a good portion of the day going through Craigslist and other sites to start looking for something. She doesn't want another retail or foodservice job which I can understand but at the same time? Take what you can get. She is tired of just sitting at home but she also doesn't know where to go to look, how to randomly network like I do, etc. On top of it, her bank account is getting low because they took out her registration and insurance on her car. That added to her stress. Luckily sex is a great stress reliever. Oh darn.

After class, we just kind of hung out. She is learning that even though I am just 'sitting' during the day, that I expend a lot of energy doing these classes and I am exhausted when they are over. I don't feel like doing anything right after class. I made chicken and mac & cheese for dinner and while I was cooking she went for a walk to try and distract herself. She wants to do so much but feels like her hands are tied. She doesn't know the area still, doesn't have friends here, and isn't working. While she isn't a prisoner, it's not like she can run around like she did back home.

It's been three weeks already since she got here. Amazing isn't it? Are we happy? Damn skippy we are. From that aspect we are doing great. Honestly. There really is this connection and feeling like we have been together forever. I have to pause myself and stop from calling her 'wife'. It's like oh that's right we are 'dating'. I forget.

After dinner we went and sat in the hot tub for a while. The poor kid worked from 7p-3a the night before and had to do 9p-4 last night. I just saw her and she has been home for less than an hour. She has another night of that tonight. I feel for her on one hand, but on the other, she is racking up the hours. B empathizes with her but is also a little jealous. She wishes she was working that much. She went from working 10-12 hours a day seven days a week to nothing and it's hard.

Sigh. I will shoulder it all like I do. I will make everyone happy.

Special show tonight. This weekend starts some craziness for the next week. I hope I make it through in one piece.

Y5 D54

My sister sent me an email yesterday saying that the reason possibly why I am slipping into a dark place is the current anti-climatic nature of my life. This is a very valid hypothesis. It's possible that after all the build-up of late June and early July I am simply just worn out and there is nothing exciting going on right now which is bringing me down. I can see that. I can see how I am now just feeling like 'okay, now what?'. Add to that all the excitement of dealing with a computer failure, the transmission going out, and all the other things that went on in the last few weeks, sitting at home doing nothing is just kind of underwhelming to me. Fair observation. I am still feeling that way. I am feeling a bit blue right now. Nothing is really wrong, but I am feeling like there is. Not to mention I am really tight right now money wise. Too much has been going on and I am feeling the pinch. I need to stay at home for the next few days.  I am also not looking forward to the next week. Starting Friday I have a pretty hectic schedule in store - a special show on Friday, a party on Sunday, rehearsal on Sunday, followed by three days of training onsite which will require me to drive back and forth across the bridge. Actually EVERYTHING starting on Friday will require bridge travel. Not looking forward to five straight days of sitting in traffic. I don't know. It's just all so ugh right now. I need some sleep. I need some leave me alone let me be sleep.

Taught all morning. BIG class this time which of course meant I had a few 'challenges' in the class. People who couldn't find the save button to save their lives if needed. Makes for a long day when I have people like that in class. But I got through.

After class, we went and test drove a car. The other night we went out walking and we went by the car dealerships so B could look at a car she is interested in. While we were there one caught my eye - the new Mazda 6. As she put it, it looks like a car for a guy who has his shit together without looking like an old man car or a mid-life crisis car. It wasn't bad. $30k and it has all the options and features I am looking for in a car. I may go back on Saturday and see if they can work a deal. Bottom line is if they can get me out of there cheaper than I am paying, I will do it. If not, oh well no loss. It gets almost 40mpg which would be a huge improvement over what I am getting now not to mention the annual savings in gas. Basically the same thing I wrote about in here last year around this time and the year before around this time and the year before... the problem is how upside down I am on my current car. I am still not quite at the break even point. This is what is stopping me. I think I am right on the cusp of being able to do something and we shall see this weekend. Again, if they can't, they can't. Won't be the end of the world.

When we got back we all went out for Taco Bell. Yeah. Whee.

Came home, sat in the hot tub for a while, showered, read, B watched Supernatural. Went to bed.

There ya go.

Y5 D53

My life is pretty boring right now. I am okay with it but I am feeling antsy at the same time. Yesterday was another light work day although I am teaching the next three days. The only thing that happened really yesterday was an issue with my motorcycle. I went out to start it recently and it was dead. Okay, no big deal because I have a charger, right? Well I pulled the battery yesterday and hooked it up to the charger which said it was fully charged. KBF happened to be over and he had a volt meter. We checked the battery and it said it had 1.4 volts. Definitely not charged. We checked the charger and it was putting out -4 volts. Weird. Hopefully today I will have time to take the charger to Cycle Gear and see what is going on. Defective battery not holding a charge or defective charger? We shall see.

That was the most interesting thing that happened to me.

I guess that's okay? I guess I am doing alright at the moment? I don't know. I am a little... I don't know. I don't have words for it right now. Am I heading into a dark place? I hope not. I have been good at keeping the demons at bay lately and it would really suck if things were heading into the dark for no good reason.

Sigh. Whatever. I will figure it out. I always do.

Y5 D52

I remember now why I like being with women younger than me - they're unashamed about the sex. Seriously. Women my age seem to still treat sex like some taboo thing that they only enjoy for their partner's pleasure where as women I would say 30 or younger right now are more free about it. They have no problem admitting they like sex, initiating sex, having fun with it, etc. None of this false 'girls don't do that' bullshit. If you haven't guessed, we had the sex again last night. We are clicking even better than before in our groove. We can talk about what works and what doesn't. We can communicate when things are good and not so good. I like this. I can do this. Now, nothing change, okay? Yeah...

Did some work yesterday. I have 8 straight days of training scheduled starting tomorrow so I am not like pushing myself or stressing about having a light day yesterday or today. Zero fucks are given. I will say, I am sick of our fucking sales guy sending messages between 11pm and 1am. You know what that says to me? You don't know how to manage your time and have zero respect for your coworkers. Period. That's all your midnight emails say. They don't say you're dedicated or any bullshit like that. He sent like five emails all within an one hour period last night from 11:30 to 12:30am. Annoying. Especially right after the sex.

Made udon last night. That caused some frustration. I am used to cooking a certain way. I am used to making things the way I have learned and how they are served around here. B was trying to explain something to me and I wasn't understanding her completely. She got frustrated with me but in the end she realized what I had made as compared to what she thought it should be and ended up liking it. Something I need to work on - actually listening to people. Go figure.

Watched some supernatural. The kid had the boy over. The three of us went to the mall earlier in the day and we ran into the kid's admirer. She has a guy at Starbucks who is interested in her. She feels weird because she has a boyfriend but this guy looks like he would be a lot more fun than her boy. I was encouraging her to hang out with him as a friend. Not only because I hate KBF but because it would be good for her to have more friends in general. 

That's about it for the day. Just keep on rollin'

Y5 D51

You know the best part of having a girlfriend again? The sex. Yeah. The sex. Okay maybe not the BEST part, but it sure as hell is good. Damn good. I like the sex and the sex likes me. No denial. Hey guess what? I had the sex last night. That's a good Sunday.

I want to also state something for the record. Do B and I have the perfect relationship? No. We got pissy with each other a couple of times yesterday. I was a little cranky and snapped, she got pissed I snapped. Our life isn't some idealistic affair where we are running through the flowers singing. It's a real relationship. And I like that. There aren't false expectations on either side. She isn't breaking down because things aren't perfect. I am not walking away in a huff because things aren't perfect. We both know that a relationship is compromise and teamwork. This is a good thing. It's this understanding that helps a relationship last in my opinion. When both partners are in it eyes open. I don't know where I am going with this, I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

Regardless, we had a pretty good day. We took that desk over to my director's house. Ran a couple of errands. Had grilled veggie and cheese sandwiches with tomato soup for dinner. Watched Supernatural. Had the sex. We laughed. We smiled. We showed each other affection and appreciation. Can't ask for more than that, can you?

Y5 D50

Whee, 50 days into the year. Only 315 more to go.

Decent day yesterday. Slept in until 10 which that in itself should make a for a good day. At least a day of rest. After getting ready, headed out to the thrift store. I needed to pick up a desk and it was 50% off day. I actually found a good one. Small, lightweight, and it had a removable hutch. We are going to keep the hutch and use it as a shelving unit in the kid's room. Get rid of some of her clutter with it. We are going to bring it to my director's house today.

After, we headed over to Target for some shopping. Mostly home stuff we needed like toilet paper. Nothing major.

Came home, took a nap while B made this peanut butter cheese ball thing. Also my friend texted me wanting to see if we wanted to hang out. He came over around 6, the kid was home from work, and we had a nice evening just hanging out. We had enchiladas for dinner followed by a game of CAH.

In bed by 11. One more good day under my belt.

Y5 D49

Trained again yesterday. Good class. Stayed on track and went on time. EVEN WITH a serious failure in the morning on the server. As in I didn't have one ready. I was fuming. It was 7:30 before I even heard from him that he was starting one up. I worked around it and everyone was happy but that was frustrating as hell.

After class B and I went out to Sephora to get my annual birthday present. We grabbed a sandwich then head back home. When we got home she helped me do my hair and then we just hung out until it was time to leave for rehearsal. Rehearsal was BORING AS FUCK.

I fell asleep at one point. It's a long boring story about rehearsal that I really don't feel like getting into right now, but it's just frustrating. Sigh. It is what it is.

I slept in obviously. Errands now.

Y5 D48

So B has been here for two full weeks already. Amazing. On one hand it feels like she has been here and part of my life forever and on the other, I am still getting used to sharing my space with someone. I give it a couple more weeks until we have settled down even further. Next week we need to focus on finding her work. She needs to be able to not only contribute to the house, but feel like she is doing something productive. She wants to clean all day because she feels otherwise that she is taking advantage of the situation. I respect that.

Taught all day yesterday, same today. Today is a much longer more intense class. Perfect for a friday, right? Yeah. Okay.

After class B and I went and got pedicures. Mine was well over due as I have not had one in years. Literally. I used to go every two weeks like clockwork and my feet looked great. I know they have been looking ugly lately but it's one of those things you don't really feel like doing by yourself sometimes. A manicure is one thing, but a pedicure feels wrong going by yourself.

While we were out we got invited to a party on the 21st. Friends finally have a sitter and are wanting  a night (day really) out. They have scheduled a soiree at Hangar One. Yes, the vodka people. They are planning a tasting there. I am actually looking forward to it, but it might make for a very hectic week. I have a special show that Friday, then the thing on Sunday, then onsite training in the same area M-W. The issue is that it involves a LOT of driving through traffic and bridge crossing. Not sure if I am interested in that. I am going to talk to my guy today after class and see if I can swing a hotel for a couple of those nights. That would make it a little easier.

Then after getting that email, our director sends one saying how 'WE NEED MORE REHEARSALS' for spaceballs and schedules one for the 21st. Um, no. I am really sick of this special show. I never wanted to be part of it in the first place. Sorry, just not that excited about it. Doesn't do shit for me. Especially since my total screen time is 10 minutes. I have to drive and sit longer than I actually am doing anything. That's probably the most annoying part. If I had a real role I would be less bitchy but... Tonight we have a special rehearsal at the theater. Those I am okay with because it makes sense. But these ones at their house are useless. People drink, there's no stage, and it's a waste of my time mostly.

Came back home and made fish for dinner. Watched a bunch of Supernatural, well B did while I played Sims. I went to bed around 10:30. She was working on her blog so I am not sure what time she came to bed. I think it was around midnight.

The days are pretty good I must admit.

Y5 D47

Oh dear lord it's good to be home. I slept like a ROCK last night. Best sleep I have had in days. No A/C unit going warble warble all night long at me. Solid fucking sleep. In a NOW clean house. We came home to a shitstorm yesterday though that's for sure. So bad that B had to spend three hours doing the kitchen while I did the rest of the house. I don't know what the kid does while we are gone. I want to next time turn off internet while I am out of town and see if she can function.

We left Disney around 5am and headed home. Trip home was uneventful and even with a stop at IKEA on the way home, we made good time. We stopped to pick B up a shelf and a corkboard. We knew we would find what we wanted pretty cheap and it was on the way home so the heck with it. We had a nice IKEA lunch and got home around 1.

First off, the bathroom and right outside was a tornado because they had come to re-glaze the tub while we were gone. Apparently that means taking the entire bathroom apart. Whatever. They did a great job and came by around 2 to finish reinstalling the hardware. It looks like a brand new shower. I am really impressed. They also managed to FINALLY fix the sprinkler from hell. I know this because I wasn't woken up at 3:07am. Besides the bathroom though, there was just stuff everywhere. The fridge needed emptying, there were dishes in the sink, the bunnies hadn't been done, kitty litter needed changing - you get the point. I HATE coming home from a vacation to a messy house. It's so annoying. We cleaned like crazy. We paused at one point to get food when the kid came home but otherwise we stayed in and cleaned.

The place looks great now. We are both happy and things are settling down. I can't ask for more than that. I am teaching the next two days so I don't have to go anywhere or stress. Just what the doctor ordered.

Y5 D46

Had the weirdest fucking dream right now. I was dead. But that wasn't an issue. I had learned how to manipulate reality. I was getting out. I had it all figured out. There were some other little things going on in this crazy dream, but that's the gist of it. I needed help from a friend who was worried about stealing, there was an old co-worker in my dream who didn't like me smoking even though WE WERE DEAD; just odd shit like that.

Second night in a row I slept like shit. I can't sleep with A/C on nor can I sleep when someone is kicking me to tell me I am snoring. I know, I know. I am not used to someone else being in my bed and you can all laugh at me all you want. Unfortunately I can't get pissed at her because 80% of why I am snoring so bad is because I am fucking fat again. No one to blame but myself for that one, eh kids?

Yesterday we got up at a leisurely pace, had breakfast and headed back into the park. We saw Mike Wazowski in his Monsters U hat, Mr. and Mrs. Incredible, and Flik. We waited in line for all of them except Flik. We sat at the bar and had lobster nachos and sliders. We then headed back to the hotel for a good nap. Woke up around 5 and headed back to the park. We went specifically to pick up a couple of things for people like her mom and sisters. We ran into someone we both follow on Tumblr which was hilarious.

Got back to the hotel and had the sex. For once I finished first. Amazing. Of course with that and the long nap she had earlier, someone had trouble falling asleep. See paragraph two about being kicked.

Sigh. I am cranky today. Have to drive home and go back to reality. Fuck reality.

Y5 D45

Had a pretty good day yesterday. We relaxed in the morning, had breakfast at the hotel, then headed down towards my old town. On the way we stopped at the mall to get some stuff from Target. That turned into a longer adventure. There is a make your own candle store there and we ended up making a candle. It's actually kind of cool. They have couples nights, ladies nights, wine nights, etc. It isn't ridiculously expensive either. It does take time. About an hour to make followed by waiting for it to cure for 90 minutes. We ended up being at the mall until about 3. We then headed into town and I showed her around. B likes the area. Makes it easier if we wanted to move back. We headed down towards the pier and had some happy hour snacks. After we met my friends for dinner up the street at the italian place I used to go to when I lived down there. We had a great time. B really liked them and the feeling is mutual from what they told me afterwards. I did make one little gaff. I have been thinking about money again because I am thinking towards the end of the month already. I got myself a birthday present which was not cheap, even with B and the kid contributing. They contributed over 1/3 of it, but... Anyway, I am thinking and when the check came I initially was going to split it, but for some reason it seemed skewed to me. I don't know why it did, but it did. So I did something I usually don't do which is asked the server to put it on separate tabs. In the end it was $2 difference and I felt like a complete fool. Oh well. It is what it is. I still feel kind of dumb about it though. We headed back to the hotel and went to bed. Both of us slept like crap last night so we are a big sluggish this morning. Back to the park though for one more day of fun.

Y5 D44

I promised you a twofer and here it goes. This will be all of the weekend in one shot. Damn. This is going to be a lot to remember, isn't it?

Okay, Saturday got up, still had the house to ourselves. Damn this is trickier than it looks remembering...

OH! Duh.

We got up and headed over to my friend's house to pick up a birthday present. He works for a company called ManCrates and he got me one of their products. He is employee number 7 and is the head of Customer Service. He hopes that the company succeeds because he is such an early employee that it may pay off. Anyway, got my ManCrate from him and it was full of bacon goodness. Whee! After that B and I went to the costume shop just to browse around. We also hit the consignment store, Chipotle, the antique store, and the thrift store. We got back home and collapsed. I love that I have someone who loves naps as much as I do. Naps are awesome and under appreciated by most people.

We got up and we were hanging when the kid and her boy came home. They were just exhausted and it showed. Covered in desert mud and looking like someone had baked them a little too long. They told us about their trip and then disappeared into the bedroom to sleep. We started packing for our trip.

Made lasagna for dinner and then B and I headed off to the show after loading the car. I had everything ready to do my little surprise entrance. I knew my directors would have something planned and I was ready to counterstrike. Everything went off without a hitch and everyone got to meet B, I didn't have to do anything to help setup and all was good. I did my counterstrike move which the audience loved BUT my director got initially pissed off at me for. Why? Because I upstaged her. She lost control of the situation. Luckily it was a momentary anger and things went back to good quickly. We left around 1 for Disneyland. Rolled into town around 6:30. Uneventful drive to be honest. She slept for about half of it, we talked about different things the other half.

Had breakfast and then headed into the park. It was dead in the morning and we managed to get B her annual pass in like 5 minutes, ride Indy, Pirates, Pooh, and see Tink and all the Princesses by 11am. We had one small issue where I took her on Space Mountain. Yeah, let's just say that didn't go over too well. I still have the marks in my arm from where she dug in. Never doing that again.

Headed over to the hotel around 2 and checked in. NAP TIME. Got up around 5 and headed back to the park. Did some pin trading, bought an AWESOME jacket as my birthday present, partied at Mad T, had dinner which ROCKED (she had one of the best pork chops and I had a watermelon insanity), then finished up with World of Color. BAM. Beautiful birthday. So damn happy.

Talked to my sister, had a million birthday texts and posts, and all in all, had a fan-fucking-tastic birthday weekend. Rinse and repeat please.

Y5 D43

Birthday. Drove all night. Twofer tomorrow. :)

Y5 D42

It's ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY! WOOOO! Yay me.

Yesterday was good. We hung around the house in the morning waiting to hear from maintenance. They finally called at 10am to let us know they would be by at 1 to put in our new dishwasher. Yay! We headed over to the store and got some cupcakes for my party. Came back, the dude did the dishwasher, then we took a nice nap. Around 6 we headed out to the pub for my party. I won't lie, I was a bit disappointed in the turnout. I invite 20 people and six show. Fine. I know who thinks I am important. Some had valid reasons for not coming, others were just no shows. It's the no shows that piss me off. We had fun though. People got to meet B. Especially my director. She was the biggest one whose approval I wanted. It seems like they got along. No issues or explosions. We headed home around 11 and B wanted to drive because she didn't feel safe with me driving and it would be good practice for her. She did great going over the hill. I was really proud of her. We got home around 11:40 and went off to bed.

A good day yet again. I could get used to this.

Y5 D41

Another good day yesterday. So quiet. Before I go too deep into things, allow me to share with you something I wrote and posted yesterday: 

A reminder this 4th of July

Dear fellow Americans,While we celebrate our ‘freedom’ today by violently blowing things up, let’s pause for a moment and reflect on some things:- We have a government that is stalking us and monitoring everything we do without denial or apology- The person who brought this to light is being labeled and prosecuted as a ‘traitor’ (much like our founding fathers were considered in Britain)

- Women are still fighting to have control and say over their own bodies and we have to have filibusters to get anywhere

- College students are going into debt beyond their means only to find themselves entering a job market with no hope of employment

- Housing prices have far exceeded the average cost of living increase year over year and the hope of the ‘American Dream’ is beyond the grasp of most people

- Here in California we are being charged .10 for a paper bag to buy our groceries, $4.25 for a gallon of gas, and yet, we can’t seem to figure out how to get money into public eduction, public transportation, or public health services

- We as a country are on the bottom when it comes to providing our citizens with a realistic working wage at the minimum level while CEOs today will be celebrating in multi-million dollar homes, take home million dollar bonus checks, and reduce worker hours to ‘save’ on paying out for health insurance

- Too many American have NO health insurance, no access to acceptable medical care, and will die today because of it

‘Freedom’ yes does come at a price; and American soldiers have sacrificed their lives many times for us to enjoy the freedoms we have, such as me writing a post like this without fear of being jailed tonight (hopefully). But sometimes that price is VERY high and our freedoms are taken away slowly without us even realizing it. Imagine if gas had gone from $1.00 a gallon to $4.00 a gallon overnight. It would have caused anger and outrage. But instead it slowly creeped up over the last 5 years and we accepted it. Re-read that list above. How much are we wiling to accept in the name of ‘Freedom’? We have achieved considerable gains in our short time as a nation, but every day we should remember we have major strides left to make. Together as Americans we will make them. It may take time and it may take sacrifice. We need to come together and make sure ALL of our citizens are free and have the ability to pursue life, liberty, and happiness.

Never forget that our initial ‘Freedom’ was the result of a group of spoiled, rich, slave owning, land owning, misogynistic white males, who wanted to expand and conquer without paying taxes. And in some ways, not much has changed…

Enjoy.

And there is my 4th of July rant. Yay me. We ran a couple of errands yesterday, but pretty much didn't leave the house. Most things were closed which was fine with us. We went to the little farmer's market for some veggies and a pie. Also got some blueberries. Went down to the pool for a while. Watched some TV (finally finished Batman Beyond), played some video games, read, and just enjoyed a quiet day in the house. If this is my new life, I like it.

Y5 D40

Good day yesterday, for me and B at least. The kid, not so much. She found out yesterday her school is about to lose accreditation. She is upset that everything she has done has been for nothing and now she won't ever get a job and no one will let her transfer and her life will be over and she will be forced to eat out of a garbage can and and and. Yeah, she worries a lot. Sigh. I told her to at least enjoy her weekend. The school isn't going to lose it until July of 2014. She has time to figure these things out. But of course she is worried now. What she needs to do is transfer NOW and make sure she gets credit for everything. But guess what? That's a bridge we can cross when she gets home from a nice weekend. Enjoy the weekend kid because it's not going to make a difference if you stress now on a holiday.

Her and the boy were gone almost all day yesterday. I am officially on vacation as of yesterday so I left them to their own devices. B got up and I made her eggs. We then went to Target for a few things left on her list.

Like nose strips. I am snoring again because I am fat again. Not happy with that situation. Not happy at all.

We got back then went and had lunch with a friend. That was fun. She got to meet some more of my friends which she loved.

We came back, took a nap, and then hung out. She played Sims while I cooked dinner and watched Batman. We had leftovers for dinner - what a shock. After dinner we did something wild; we played scrabble. I downloaded a great app for the tablet for keeping score. I will be using that for all sorts of things I have a feeling. We then just kind of relaxed and went to bed around 11. Somehow the sex happened. Not complaining. We were both up at 3 because of the sprinkler, but this time we ran down and figured out EXACTLY which one it is. I am going to show the guy today holiday or not.

We had the house to ourselves almost all day which was nice. We are very settled in and it was nice to get a glimpse of how life together will be. No people around, no obligations, just us. Can we function just us kind of moment. It was great.

Y5 D39

FINALLY some peace and quiet. Oh and some SEX TOO. Since B got here, she has been very frustrated that we haven't had time to be alone for the sexing. As have I. Well that changed last night. We got everything settled as much as we're going to for right now and things are feeling like normal.

We got up pretty early, around 5, to drop her friend off at the airport. She had a 6:40 flight and there were no issues with getting her dropped off or through security. B wanted to go back to bed which I don't blame her. We all were up at 3:07 briefly again thanks to the sprinkler from hell.  The damn maintenance people can't find it. But I think I know why. I think they are looking in the wrong spot. I have a feeling it's shooting from a slightly different angle than everyone thinks. The next time it goes off I will get down there to prove it.

She went back to bed and I took care of morning stuff. The kid is still stressed about BART being on strike. I dropped her off at the regular train which was to be followed by busses from hell for her. She ended up finally getting to class, but not after waiting longer for the bus than her whole class time. I told her that today she is staying home. Fuck it. It is not worth it. I will yell at the school if need be.

Got back and B was waking up. I made her some eggs. I like cooking for someone again.

I did some work yesterday while she cleaned. She wanted to scrub the bathroom down and I wasn't about to stop her. Here you go babe, here's the cleaning stuff, have a blast. Afterwards, we headed out to the store for some veggies for dinner. That turned into a trip to the mall where we hung out and waited for the kid to get home. She unfortunately was delayed by an hour thanks to the bus. But she made it eventually.

We got home and I made pasta with meatballs, grilled veggies, and a nice salad. A simple dinner. The boy came over as they are getting ready for their trip to the dessert tomorrow. They are camping out where burning man happens. I don't know. Neither B or I understand it. They will be living in a 4x6x4 pvc rectangle covered in reflective foil. Um. Okay. You have fun with that.

We all watched some supernatural and then went off to bed around 10:30. Then the sex began. Bam. Happy. Oh yeah. Plus I got to sleep in my own bed. Double happy.

Today? Today I am on fucking vacation for a week.

Y5 D38

One down. We just dropped B's friend off at the airport to send her butt back home. I can sense the calm starting to form. Ah....

Yesterday while I worked, B, her friend, and the kid all went shopping. I had three conference calls plus started working on a new curriculum. They had a good time. When they got back everyone just kind of relaxed. It's been hotter than fuck here since B's arrival and it was finally starting to cool down yesterday. For a farewell dinner I made a huge feast mostly consisting of leftovers. But it was a feast! Ribs, chicken, steak, beans, potatoes, watermelon, hominy, beets, and fruit cocktail! The boy was over which made the house feel a little crowded so B and I went for a nice walk after dinner. A good mile or so. More of those please.

Came back, hung out, went to bed.

Things are starting to feel normal. Now to just get some shit put away.

Y5 D37

Can I have a day of rest at some point? Please? I wish I had an office to go today because it would get me away from the madness and clutter. Being at the office would be a blessing compared to the craziness of yesterday. I wish I was exaggerating but I am not. We had arrived home from the show at 3ish and went to bed. Well we were back up by 8. Joy. Why? Because it was Pride and everyone wanted to go. Except for the poor kid who had to go to work. She was oh so thrilled about that. We got our act together and walked to the train station. The walk there was okay. Not too much complaining from anyone. Yet.

We kind of hurried but not rushed to make a 10:51 train. When we got to the train station there was first an announcement that the 10:51 was packed to capacity. That just set my mood right there. However, they had a second train right behind because of the full train. Okay... We get on the train, about 11:10 so not too far off and I am surprised at how empty it is. We got a nice four seater cluster, no one standing, etc. Okay, I can handle this. We get up to the city and we walk up to the festivities. For the most part things were fine. We ran into some people I knew which was fun. Saw some nice happy freaks. Then we got caught in a BAD clusterfuck. I mean like I almost started throwing punches bad. It was a little scary to be honest. I saw a couple of tempers flare, but no one actually lash out. We had intended on making a 2:15 train back but thanks to the crush we got to the station at 2:20. We then had to wait for the 3:15. We were ALL getting cranky and pissed off at this point. Like to the point of not speaking. The train home was PACKED. And it was filled with those annoying 15-17 year old abercrombie factory generated dumb bitches. They were all so FUCKING annoying. A pair of them kept playing with the train station door while we were waiting and I lashed out at them. What was happening is they kept trying to open the locked doors and the hundreds of people behind us saw the doors being opened and kept pushing forward. I had just left that and refused to do it again. I didn't want to see anyone smashed against glass. So I yelled at them. They backed down and left the doors alone after that. On the way back we were so cramped and tight things got ugly between all of us. Not horribly, just in a DO NOT TOUCH ME sort of way.  Of course we still had to walk home AND get ready to go to fucking rehearsal. Not a happy camper in the bunch.

The walk back home was silent. Like deathly silent. We got home and everyone just kind of stayed in their own space for a little while. After about an hour we headed out for rehearsal. We had all relaxed and we were all feeling a little better. Traffic to my director's house was not bad. It was a little slow as we got into town but otherwise no issues. We made it over in about 40 minutes, 30 less than our normal. FINALLY B got to see that I don't take the train everywhere or walk all damn day. That was one of her complaints on the train home. That she hated it here because you can't drive anywhere. I didn't even bother right then, but later I explained she just came at a really abnormal time.

We got to rehearsal and I introduced everyone. That was fun. B and her friend headed off to the beach to see the ocean. They came back a little while later and B's friend proceeded to get hammered. She didn't mean to but it happened. She didn't eat all day and was pretty toasty by the time rehearsal was over. All in all, everyone had a fun time at rehearsal and frankly after the insanity of the day we needed it. We did have to stop on the way home so someone could throw up on the side of the road. Which of course made her feel so dumb. The rest of us were cracking up. We got home around 10 and let her throw up so more before getting her situated in bed. B and I just sat on the couch and sat on the couch. It was the nicest thing we have done together so far. It was wonderful.

Today hopefully will be quiet. I have work and the kid has school. Tomorrow B's friend goes home in the morning. So things will slowly get back to normal around here, just with one more person. That I can handle.