Y8 D309

Yesterday was a busy day. I was frantic in the morning from waking up late, then two large back to back classes. The classes went well for the most part, but it made for a long day. While all that was going on though I was getting emails about today and next week. First off, my co-worker's sitter is sick and I now have to teach her class today. Not a big deal except the time. She does 8:30-4:30 which as you all know, I hate. It makes for such a drawn out day for me. But I will suck it up and do it. Second, my original classes for next week got moved and there was a client who wanted one day on site like NOW and there's no way I can make it so then I have to take these other classes, but I can't do anything on Thursday because that's when B's mom gets here and oy. Just a lot of back and forth craziness.

After class B and I worked on putting up some window tint in the bedroom on the one window that is still letting in light. It worked okay but was harder than it should have been. Weird sized window left us with not enough film for another window and too much for another. Annoying.

Had some dinner (soup) and watched some tv. B wanted to watch the finale of Bones in private in case she started bawling so I went in the other room. She got through it apparently.

My sister sent me an email last night which I have yet to respond. But thanks for the update. Appreciate it.

That's about it. The weekend will be busy with "Mom prep" so I will be mostly hiding while B goes into nervous cleaning mode. Joy.

Y8 D308

Stressed out this morning. Overslept by an hour. Have 20 minutes to get shit rolling. Not happy.

Taught ALL day. Went right up to the mark with class. Then we went and ran some errands. Ulta for body scrub, the goodwill store looking for a small cabinet for the closet, home depot for some sticky window film, the grocery store, then mexican food for dinner. We didn't get back home until after 6 from 3pm. Wow. We were out a while.

B had a long call with her mother about her upcoming trip. Some dos and donts for her. She is excited and nervous as she hasn't flown anywhere in 10 years. What an odd concept. A month without travel blows my mind. And I have been doing this for a while. Even when I was only traveling part time it was a few times per year. The thought of not flying in 10 years is crazy. Ah small children. Such a blessing. NOT.

Went to bed at 10 and slept too long. Now to deal with TWENTY THREE students today. 13 morning, 10 afternoon. Shoot me now.

Y8 D307

Had a student completely no-show on me yesterday. Of course he was an internal. When pressed in emails about it he responded with that he never got the link invite. Um, okay, so why didn't you start sending messages and texts asking for it instead of waiting until 1pm to tell anyone? I would have been sending out messages the night before. WTF? Lazy much? Just admit you don't want to go to the class. I ended up having less students as a result but that's okay. I haven't taught in a while and having a smaller class was a nice way to ease back into things.

All day class which finished around 2:50. I honestly don't remember what I did after class. Oh duh. B did my hair for me. She went out to Target while I was teaching and picked up some stuff including hair dye. Took care of that. We had an early dinner since she had her group session. She was home early because they too had some no-shows and it ended up finishing earlier than normal.

Went off to bed around 10 as I was pretty tired.

One thing I did find interesting yesterday is everyone all of sudden realizing what the latest bullshit by the house means. I was complaining about this a week ago when it made it passed the senate but no one listened to me. I am talking about the repeal of the privacy laws. Now your ISP can sell any collected data. America the Business is running just like one. Sell out the customer and make the money. Money money money. Although one thing I find funny is there's a group that is looking to buy up the browsing data of every congress person who voted yes on this bill and publicly post it. BOOM. That will be interesting to say the least. Anyhoo, I already use VPN but mine has only 5 licenses. Now B wants it on her stuff which is at least 3 licenses. I use it on one of my machines always which would leave one. I would still have two machines, my tablet, and a phone and just one license. I may just start a second account. The other option is to replace my router, do a flash-router with like tomato and have the whole house protected. BUT then things like plex and netflix might not work so I would have to have a dual router situation going on. Complicated. Something to look into this weekend as a project.

One more day of this group then two half day sessions. Whee.

Y8 D306

Had a very busy day yesterday. Started out by taking the car in for 18 month service. I love how I tell them the mileage (13,117) and then when we're doing the walk around he says "the tires look good". Um, they better? It has 13k miles on it. His response to that? "Oh yeah. I guess you're right." I would hope things look good.

Sat and waited for it and watched Rogue One. Stupid movie with its stupid feelings and stupid making me care. The quality of Rogue One shows that TFA wasn't just a fluke. When written by people who love the universe and when directed (or written) by anyone other than Fatty McStupidHead OldMan, Star Wars based movies can be damn good. If you haven't seen it, I won't spoil anything, but sheesh, what an ending.

Got back from the car dealership around 9:30, and started tearing the office apart. I needed to rearrange it before summer gets here and I had the time and the motivation to do it yesterday so fuck it. Took about 2 hours to completely rearrange things.

When I was done, B wanted to go out. We headed to the dispensary (found a good one finally). The one we went to has a good selection of all types of products, helpful people, and good prices. THAT was a pleasant experience. Unlike our next stop, USPS. B needed to mail some things including one to Australia. Ugh. First off, neither of us could understand the clerk's rapid fire Chinese accent. That was rough. He kept trying to get us to change our packing envelope for the Australia package and I kept saying just give me the customs form and poor B was saying she could rewrap it. In the end I filled out the customs form and we got it resolved. But what a fiasco.

Grabbed some food on the way back. B went and napped, I worked on work stuff. Neither of us felt like cooking so we grabbed some food out for dinner. Watched some tv, went to bed around 10. Today is day one of two for training, then B has group tonight.

Y8 D305

Yay back to normal wake up time. Yesterday was weird sleeping in so late. But now I have classes again and am back to it. Well not today. Today I am taking the car in for 18 month service. I still wanted to get up normal though to prep myself for the rest of the week.

It rained all day and we didn't leave the house. B had a 2.5 hour skype call with her friend in Australia. That was after dinner. When it was over we watched some Bob's Burgers and I went to bed. During the day, we cleaned, we organized more, we thought of some different ways of rearranging the house.

See, the rain will stop. And when that happens it will get hot. Which means AC units need to come back out. Right now we have everything setup in a way that is aesthetically pleasing but not conducive to easy access to the AC unit. We need to get to the windows for the stupid hose things. This will mean rearranging both the bedroom and the office. It involved lots of measuring, pricing tubing if we want to leave things the way they are, etc.

That was the extent of our day. Nothing very exciting. 10 days until B's mom gets here. Such a weird concept. Someone coming to visit us.

Y8 D304

Just woke up at 7:45. Latest I have slept in forever. I have real classes four days next week, need to get back on an early schedule. But not today. This was my last day of sleeping and sleep I did. Was having a weird ass dream. I was hunting some treasure and finally found the entrance to the chamber. Like a National Treasure kind of thing. Weird.

Didn't leave the house once yesterday. Stayed inside. Did more organizing and cleaning. Ordered a pizza for dinner. *Tried* to watch Rogue One. Yeah, not someone's cup of tea. Stopped halfway through because it wasn't worth it. Went to bed around midnight.

Probably a whole lot of the same today.

Y8 D303

Woke up, worked on my docs until about 10, went to Costco. For once only spent $75. I went in for specific things, bought them, and left. Miracle. It was a crowded crazy house even at 10am. Got back, put stuff away, B took a nap, I worked more on my docs. When she got up we decided to go grocery shopping before that got too crowded too. Went out around 3. Right on the cusp of being crazy town. Made Indian for dinner - masala, rice, naan. After dinner B decided to tackle cleaning out a couple of things. She wants to make sure things are well organized before her mother gets here. Less than 2 weeks away from that 'happy' event. We then spent the next three hours cleaning out cabinets in the kitchen and the linen closet. Whee. What a fun time. I mean I know it has to get done but it doesn't mean I can't bitch about it.

No plans for the weekend. Going to stay inside I think. More rain is expected because that's all it does here until 3 weeks in summer when we all melt. I'd rather have the rain though to be honest. Heat sucks. Rain is tolerable.

I need to clean this keyboard. It's got goop all over it. There. That's my goal for the day. Clean my keyboard. Look out!

Y8 D302

Not much going on right now. Worked on my document, made dinner, went to bed. Not an exciting day. I swear I feel like I did something though and I can't remember what it was. Whatever it was it wasn't very exciting. I am extremely sleepy this morning. Had a rough night. Lots of tossing and turning. As a result I am kind of out of it this morning. 

Side note - all these people complaining about how the country is currently being run are all the same ones who voted for this administration because they wanted the country to be 'run like a business' need to shut up. Why? Because it is running like a business. A business cares about profit. Fuck the humans, make the money. Say what you need to say, but at the end of the day, make the numbers. For example, last night Congress voted to overturn an FCC rule that stopped internet companies from selling your data including browsing history. Why? Because it makes those companies more money more money more money. Welcome to the machine bitches. You voted for it. Enjoy it.

Y8 D301

I have reached an interesting age. As most of you probably saw, Chuck Barris died at 87 yesterday. Now there's two responses to that - aw and 'who the hell is Chuck Barris?'.  Which given that he was 87 is a fair response. Twenty years ago if someone 87 passed away, I would have had the same question. Who was that? OH, that one guy from that one thing. Just interesting that's all.

Here's another interesting thing - B and I were talking last night and we realized that since leaving Facebook, no one talks to us any more. No seriously. We don't get emails or hangouts or texts from 90% of the people we know. There are still those few who check in on us, but for the most part, not on Facebook, don't exist. Fucking shame is what it is. Shows you who your real friends are. In her case, like two people died in her family (no one close or important) but no one bothered to even tell her. "Oh, we posted it on Facebook.". Listen you lazy fucktards, how about some direct human interaction?

We had our fancy dinner last night. $175. Talk about getting it right at the budget line. We had rabbit garganelli, beets, caesar salad, fried chicken with dutch baby, a whole crab, chocolate board, apple crumble, and passionfruit cheesecake. Oh yeah baby. Course after course. It was 2 hours of glorious eating. Neither of us felt stuffed when we were done. We paced it well. We took a 4:45 train in and an 8:15 train home. Got home around 9 something, had to wash my shirt because it was covered in food (yeah, I'm a slob), and went to bed around 11.

Couple more trips getting lined up. MN for starters. Might be going some other places too. I will find out details today. Quiet before the storm.

Y8 D300

Another trip is booked. Unfortunately, it too is in May. May will be a busy as heck month for me. Just got to make it until then. Going to OK. Past client so no big issues or problems. Easy gig. Two days, quick trip. I am okay with making 3700 miles for a quick trip.

Worked on a new class yesterday. Learned some stuff in the process. That took up the majority of my day. We left the house only briefly to go get some stuff at the grocery store. B had her group last night and sat around doing a whole lot of nothing.

Tonight we are going downtown for dinner. I am excited.

Y8 D299

Having trouble staying awake right now. Just want to close my eyes for another hour or two. Don't know why I am so tired right now. I went to bed at a decent time. Oh well. Wake up and focus doo doo head.

Yesterday ended up being an interesting day for a monday. Our primary goal in the morning was to get B's passport application submitted. That was priority number one. Since this is a first time passport for her, she had to apply in person. Renewal is through the mail only. The office nearest us is the city hall department of finance. They have a limited number of persons available to do this and limit the number of people to 30 each day. They start at 8:30 but people get there earlier to get their number. We got there at 8:07. We were number 6. But B realized she forgot a piece of paper. I had roughly 23 minutes to go back home, grab the paper, and get back. I did it in 29. She still waited another 15 or so minutes from when I got back. We were out of there by 9:15 which is not bad at all. Her passport is now on its way and will be here in 6-8 weeks. One task complete!

B as you might have expected, decided to go back to bed. Shocker, right? She laid down and I went to work. Since I am once again without classes this week, I need to fill my time. I decided to make a few people happy and get something off my plate for the rest of the year. Our marketing team wants technical blog posts for the web site. We as a department agreed to 12 posts. This comes out to 4 per person. I already have done two. I did one more yesterday. Turns out I am the ONLY one who has been submitting any and as a Thank You the VP of Marketing authorized me to go to dinner on the company. With a $200 budget. I can handle that. We are headed downtown tomorrow night for dinner now. No complaints here. Especially since I didn't do this for the recognition but just to get it off my plate. I will probably do one more this week and not have to worry about it for the rest of the year.

I do have some stuff to work on today. New client wants a private training on something and I have to ascertain if it's even feasible. This will be fun.

Had massive amounts of leftovers and then B wanted to try and find something specific at the store. Turns out what she was looking for is only at whole foods. She wanted to try these new vegan burgers. Their website shows them at multiple stores but no, we had to go into hippie land. Fuck that store. The burgers were $4.99 for 8oz. That's $10 a pound. Are you kidding me? $10 a pound for fucking vegetables? Whatever. She wanted to try them and she will. But come on. You try to eat healthy and it costs you an arm and a leg. Ridiculous.

Got back home, watched some tv, went to bed around 10:30.

Y8 D298

Spent most of yesterday alone. Why? Because this time she listened to me and only took one sleeping pill. But she took it at 3am. I should also mention we aren't talking otc pills. These are prescription pills she received from a doctor. These things knock you out cold. Or in her case until 1pm. So yeah, I had an alone day accidentally.

Did some more touch up painting, hung a shelf, mounted my lightsaber finally (man that sounds dirty but really isn't), and did a bunch of other odds and ends jobs. Around noon I sat down to play some video games.

At 4:30 we went to the theater to see Beauty and the Beast. It was okay. I enjoyed Cinderella live action much better. This one felt very one dimensional. Like they were trying to make the animated movie and just couldn't. It held true to the animated with some small changes to extend it out to 2:20 runtime.

We got out of there around 7:30 and headed home. I sat back down to play and get ready for the week. B this time went to bed at 9. We have to be at the Dept. of Finance office this morning at 8am to get her a passport. We need to do that before she gets her license to make sure all her names match. Since it's her first one we have to go in person. It's at the administrative offices and they only accept 30 applicants a day. This should be fun.

I went to bed around 11. Slept pretty well. We changed the sheets and fixed the bed yesterday and that always helps me sleep better. I like when the blankets are all proper.

Okay, 2 hours until we have to leave. This is going to be fun.

Y8 D297

Days like yesterday are why i don't have a lot to write any more. It used to be a Saturday night meant a wild ruckus downtown at the wine bar, or the last few years, a show. Where who knows what crazy shit might have happened. Now? Indian food. Played video games. Watched some TV with B. Bed at 11. Seriously.

And it's not like anything happened during the day. Yesterday when I got up B was still awake. Why? Because sometimes she doesn't listen to me. I told her not to take TWO sleeping pills as they would act against each other and keep her up. What time did she go to bed? 6:30am. Yeah. So I was alone until about 1. I cleaned. I did dishes. I did laundry. Then we went out to dinner at 6.

That really was the extent of my day. I didn't go anywhere by myself in the early part of the day. Hopefully today will be a little more exciting.

Y8 D296

I feel that my mood and mental state lately has caused me to short change you dear reader. I haven't had the mental desire to really right anything of any substance and there's a bunch of stuff you have been missing out on only because my quasi-depression as of late has made it seem unimportant.

I do know that I am really getting frustrated with things. I have been stuck at home not doing anything, scrambling for work to do. It really has reached the point of driving me nuts. Because it's not like these are 'days off'. I spent the majority of this week sitting in a chair in the office ready to answer whatever email or problem came through. And I really do have to be available like I am on call. It's driving me nuts.

The weather isn't helping. I know I have said this before, but this rain needs to fucking stop. After the worst winter in 20 years, the non-stop rain has been pushing me to the limit. The biggest problem is the lack of variation in the sky. It's just grey. All day. All the time. One constant color. Is it 9am? Is it 2pm? Who the fuck knows, it's grey.

Then we have the state of the world. We have Rex saying he is willing to nuke N. Korea. Lovely. I haven't had to worry about the possibility of nuclear war since the 80s, can we keep it that way please?

I did accomplish something pretty big yesterday. Got up and went to DMV at 6:40am. I was the first in line. I even have a #1 thing from the number machine. In CA you never got one of those as they just rolled over numbers. It was kind of cool have "You are #1". Yes, I saved it. Leave me alone.

Why was I at DMV? License. In between being bored this week I read the dmv handbook and took practice test after practice test. Time to put it into action.

Got in right at 8, paid my $5, took the test, passed. The woman filling out the form asked if I wanted to carry my motorcycle privileges over and I asked if I had to take another test and she said, nope, just pay an extra $80. Done and done. Paid the base $60 for the regular class C and added on my M for $80 more. I now am officially licensed and a resident of OR. What a trip. I was out of there by 8:25am.

On another note, I am in a bit of pain. I slept funny on my left arm and it is really hurting. I was hoping some sleep would fix it and it did to some degree. A hot shower is on tap next to help it. But it's making typing hard. Yeah, I hurt it bad.

Made corned beef last night because I could. We did go out after dinner last night. Stopped at the store to get a couple of things in prep for B's mom coming in a couple of weeks. B is starting to get anxious about it. She had me go to maintenance and get touch-up paint to cover some things. I spent some time yesterday afternoon following behind her as she marked spots with painter's tape. But she picked up a spare pillow and a couple of other odds and ends for her mom to use. 18 days until she arrives.

There. That's a proper entry. Maybe forcing myself to do this will help get me back on track. Thanks for sticking with me.

Y8 D295

And just because it's the way the universe works, I had the complete opposite sleep last night than the night before. Tossed and turned. Too hot, too cold. Whatever.

Interesting day yesterday. One of my clients actually gave me a challenging thing to work on which took up the majority of my day. Even stumped someone with more experience than me. So at least I don't feel dumb. Had leftovers for dinner. Watched some tv.

You know what really gets me about the #BoycottHawaii bullshit? Is all of these hicks and morons using it who frankly have 1) never been there and 2) probably will never go there. That's right, it's one more of those coastal elite kind of places. You want to boycott it? Have had it. I'd rather not have you and your annoying kinfolk there. Idiots.

I loathe reading the news these days because of the sheer amount of stupidity I am going to read.

Y8 D294

I slept extremely well last night. Very solid. Not sure why or what was different, but I slept hard. I am a bit groggy this morning as a result, but otherwise okay. I was having a dream about time travel. Too many new shows on tv involving it I think. I was in some spinning type thing going whoosh whoosh.

Spent the day trying to find things to do again. Nothing much to talk about there. In the afternoon B and I went to Target and Freddies. She is looking for some new summer shirts and trying to be ahead of the game. Didn't find anything.

Made dinner. Watched TV. Went to bed.

Y8 D293

My morning started off as a comedy of errors yesterday. I get up and check email expecting to see one from my boss with server info, nope, so I start stressing. Well, around 5:30 I get a message from a co-worker telling me that the class was reassigned to him back in like Feb. WTF? Comes to find out back in Feb we reassigned him the class because I was supposed to be out of town this week but my boss forget to 'un-assign' him and give it back to me. And he is an hourly employee; if he doesn't teach, he doesn't get paid. He's our equivalent of a substitute I just realized. Anyway I let him keep the class. I offered to take a couple of days as PTO this week but my boss said no, it's his fuck up, he will find something billable for me. Okay. You do that. Until then, I sit.

I did spend yesterday working on getting myself enrolled in some server classes in May. I will be driving up to Seattle for five days of Tableau server training. It's going to cost about $4k with hotel, car, and class, but all it will take is one student to take the classes I create from this and it pays for itself. We should be able to offer server classes in Q3 as a result of this training. Bring in another six figures for the company.

The reason it took all day to get registered is we are partners and I had to get a partner code. Otherwise the classes would be $3500 versus $2100. Big difference. Multiple phone calls and emails were needed to track down the right person with the partner code info. But I got it done, booked my hotel, and am ready to go.

For dinner I made shrimp scampi. It was pretty good. B had her group last night and was gone from 6 until 9:30. I watched some tv while she was gone, we talked about her group, then I went to bed.

Today I might go to DMV but I was planning on Friday already so I think I will keep that. I will review the manual one more time today. Maybe tomorrow I will go. We'll see.

Y8 D292

My number yesterday was slightly off it would seem. I said 10 million would lose coverage but the CBO pointed out the number is actually TWENTY FOUR MILLION. How's this 'great' America working out for you? Maybe instead of buying iPhones and other fancy doodads like fridges and microwaves (which is just spying on you anyway!) you should've put that money towards healthcare!! I mean it's one banana Michael, what could it cost? Ten dollars?

I am already stressed out this morning. My first full day teaching in a while and I have no servers. Three day class with 7 people and I have nothing. Now I get to bug my boss until he wakes up and does his fucking job.

Speaking of that, him and I discussed travel plans yesterday. looks like OH is now the third week of April. Come on people, get your shit together. That's about all I did yesterday though to be honest.

Made a grilled salmon caesar salad for dinner. Watched some TV including the new show Time After Time. Meh. I wasn't into it. Too many time travel paradox rules broken. B liked it though.

Went to bed at 10 so I could be ready for this morning. Oops. Too bad other people aren't as ready.

Y8 D291

Morning means different things to different people as I found out yesterday. The pins I got up at 4am to wait to go on sale for B? The seller posted at 1pm EST. ONE IN THE AFTERNOON. So did I need to get up at 4am? Nope. I was exhausted the whole day as a result. I should have known they weren't going to go up that early. Based on everything B told me about the seller I should have trusted my gut. But I didn't want her to miss out. She rarely collects things and she really wanted these pins. So be it.

As most people, we were both off all day as to what time it was. We ate lunch at a weird time. B had a doctor's appointment at noon then afterwards we had to go to target to fill a prescription. She's find by the way. She has an issue with her tongue and needed an antibiotic. No big deal.

For dinner we had noodles and company. She was craving it. I did get a nice surprise from her yesterday. A package arrived and it was a new jewelry box for me. Shaped like a TARDIS. It's pretty cool. Around 7pm something hit her (extra light maybe?) and she decided to reorganize the kitchen, the linen closet, and a bunch of other stuff. I just stayed out of the way.

At 9 we watched Last Week Tonight. This week's episode was all about Ryancare. Ah the idiots who voted for this moron are about to see what they really got. "I don't want know stinking Obamacare!" is their mantra. Good, because now you're about to die. Think I am kidding? This new plan will give $197,000 in tax credits to the rich. The average family will LOSE 2/3rds of their tax credits. And that $197,000? THAT'S PER PERSON. The average rich folk will only see a $33,000 tax credit. You know, so unfair! Medicaid caps will kill many seniors. Over 10 million people will stand to lose their insurance. Just because you racist piece of shit stupid ass motherfuckers can't handle a program named after a black man. Morons. Every single one of you who let this fucker and every other republican win this last election. May you enjoy your death.

Y8 D290

Oh look it's NOBODIES favorite time of year - DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME! LET'S LOSE AN HOUR JUST TO GAIN SOME SUNLIGHT!! WOO HOO!!

Fuck this outdated candle saving bullshit. Don't believe me? Look it up. Ben Franklin, Paris, writes paper on candle saving techniques by maximizing daylight hours and meetings.

Fuck you Frankie baby, fuck you.

Tried to get out of the house yesterday but apparently so did everyone else. The rain stopped for a while and everyone left their domiciles to explore as well. We tried to go to the mall and it was way too damn crowded. We both just got pissy and cranky. Not worth it.

I cleaned yesterday because I was bored. Scrubbed things clean.

My neck hurts.

Went to bed early to maximize sleep hours, not your fucking candles. Plans for today? Wait for a fucking website to refresh with a flash sale for some pins B wants. Yep. That's why I am up so damn early. The things I do...

Will probably kill me.

Y8 D289

Do I have to stand up wild eyed in the spotlight? What a nightmare. Why don't I turn and run? There must be some mistake, I didn't mean to let them take away my soul. Am I too old? Is it too late? Where has the feeling gone? Will I remember the songs? The show must go on...

Did very little again yesterday. It's stuffy in here right now. Need to open a window. Air things out.

Went to the grocery store. Went to costco. Paid bills. Got pissed off at cats running around. Annoyed me. I am getting stir crazy again.

Need to go somewhere. Soon. Slept like shit. Kid drew me an octopus. I like it. Got a fishing achievement in WoW.

Stop. I wanna go home. Take off this uniform and leave the show. And I'm waiting in this cell because I have to know. Have I been guilty all this time?

Y8 D288

I was asked yesterday if I was out of my funk. Out is not the right word. Resigned. Gave up.

I tried. I gave up.

Better words.

B's mother booked her flight last night. I am looking at going to Seattle for a week in May. Need to hear confirmation of that today. Will rent a car and drive. Cheaper than flying.

Spent the day dealing with a hard drive that is starting to act up. Bought a new 8Tb to add to the cluster. 36Tb on the whole array now. Keeping the old one for backup until it goes, moved music and pictures to the new one. Still updating my music library in plex. That's the downside. I had to remove and re-add the libraries in my plex.

That's about it. It's payday. Bills today. No big plans for work. May get some things from my boss but even he doesn't know. Finally talked to him last night. He's been swamped. Which is good. Line more up for me.

Y8 D287

I finally hear something from my boss at 6pm last night. "Hey can you drive to this location 10 hours away at short notice and how much would it cost?". Um, we have one car so how long would I be gone? What days? A little info please? Everyone assumes people have two cars. For us it's not that big of a deal except maybe a couple of times per year. Like this issue. Sorry, we don't want another cat payment. Funneling all our money into house and debt. Trying to move forward not backwards. I didn't say all that obviously. Just some.

Here's something I find amusing - X1 sends me an email thanking me for giving her what to do info as I relented and sent her a more polite one than I did the other day. All well and good but then she tries to tell me things going on with the kid. It's like bitch please. I talk to her every day. Since I actually know how to use technology her and I are in constant communication. Did you know she hung the planter I sent in the corner of the room with three succulents? Because I did. I even have the picture. Want to know what's been going on with her job hunting because I do. The kid and I have always had a better relationship where I knew more of what was going on even when she was living with her mother. Don't even be trying to act like you're suddenly privy into her life. Dumbass.

B and I undertook a big project last night. She wanted to go through her closet and do some spring cleaning. Five bags worth of stuff to donate. It took a while but she cleaned house for sure. Mostly it was stuff that doesn't fit and will never fit again. Or stuff that was beyond its life but just hadn't been thrown away yet. We all have stuff like that. Took a while but we got it done.

We also went to the store and did some grocery shopping. We both have been eating better but when you buy fresh produce and fruit it means more trips to the store or you have things going bad too quick. Fair enough except for the whole having to leave the house.

B had fruit and veggie concoction for dinner, I had salmon with creamed corn and some peaches. Like I said, we're trying. Whole foods. Nothing processed. Focused on fruits and veggies. As soon as it stops raining we are going to start walking too.

B's mom is coming to visit. We were trying to line it up with me being out of town but that doesn't seem like it's going to work because my travel is in flux. I may go to Dallas then Ohio. But now I may go to the Bay Area, then Ohio, then Seattle. We shall see. Regardless, she has a small window of when she can visit. We spent like 45 minutes on the phone with her trying to go through flight options. I forget how regular people are when it comes to flights. I don't look as much at the price as I do times and stops. She was willing to have an inconvenient time for a $70 difference. I wouldn't do that. My time is worth more than $70.

B has a doctor session today, I have nothing as of yet.

Y8 D286

Repeat of Monday. I did nothing. Talked to no one. Sat in a room by myself most of the day in the dark. That's my life. Sitting in the dark. X1 apparently now thinks we're friends or something as she sends me a text yesterday morning 'hey my friend is coming up there from TN can you recommend some stuff? She is a musician and likes to do stuff outdoors!'. I gave her a couple of places to go downtown but ended it with "i cannot recommend any outdoor things as I don't do them". No response. Sorry I don't fucking hike? If I didn't need to leave the domicile ever I wouldn't. Let me just fucking die.

B went to group. I spent most of the time in the bathroom thanks to some bowel issues. Lovely. My insides were trying to be on the outside.

Guess what's planned for today??? MORE FUCKING NOTHING.

Y8 D285

I did pretty much nothing yesterday. Stared into the void. The void stared back. I solved an issue for an ungrateful client. You're welcome for me giving you four free hours of my life. Bitch.

We had dinner. It was okay. B had a doctor appointment. It too was okay.

We got a quilt in the mail from her grandmother. Do I need to say it? It's okay. Actually that's a lie. It's really nice. And it was nice of her to send it. Although B did ask her for it when we were back there - last Christmas. As in 2015. Yeah.

Whee.

Y8 D284

I still have nothing to say. Still give zero fucks. Still hate the universe.

Y8 D283

We did stuff. Things were done. Food was cooked. TV was watched. House was cleaned. Drives were had. Whatever.

Y8 D282

You know what the worst thing in the world to have is? Hope. The thought that there just might be a fucking chance that the universe for once is going your way. The stupid idiotic childish thought that you might be getting somewhere. Hope that you possibly could make your life better. What a fucking joke. Hope is a killer. You see a light at the end of a fucking tunnel and the universe says to you "bitch you know it's a train. why you even trying?".

What has brought on this wonderful attitude. Well it turns I and the realtor who recommended it to me, misunderstood the 203k loan. So yes, those of you who thought I was reading it wrong and tried to correct, congratulations, you were right. I was talking with the mortgage lender yesterday and after 16 back and forth emails, he explained to me clearly what needs to happen and the bottom line is I still need the 3.5%. So unless I can magically pull $10-15k out of my ass, this isn't happening. Not in this fucking year.

And then, X1 has the fucking nerve when I explain to her how she misunderstood it, to tell me that I need to budget, watch my spend, and not let the dream go! Fuck you. Fuck dreams. Fuck hope. I am the world's whipping boy. I am Sisyphus. And the fucking rock ain't going to push itself up the fucking hill. I am Prometheus. Time to grow a new liver, the eagle is hungry.

Yes universe, I will learn my place and stop having any semblance of moving beyond my pile of shit.

Y8 D281

Got almost 8 hours of much needed sleep. Sometimes you just need the sleep you know? Factory reset the ol' body. Speaking of old, my new passport arrived. God I look horrible. I look old. Fat. Tired. Bald. WTF happened? Who is this old person staring back at me? I don't like it.

Did my expenses and timesheet stuff before my class tomorrow to make sure I didn't have to do it today. Taught my class from 10-2. B had a session with a new counselor at 2 so wasn't here when I finished class. She really enjoyed this new one and felt like he understood her situation better. Plus he's cheaper so no complaints here.

We had assorted stuff for dinner then after went to costco for a few things. Nothing major. For once we spent only $100. Not bad for costco.

Came back and B took a sleeping pill and knocked herself out at 8. She didn't sleep at all the night before and needed the sleep. I followed shortly after at 10. Today I have a couple of small things to do for work and then I am done. Then it's the weekend. Whee.

Y8 D280

Overslept this morning. B just yelled at me to get up because I slept through my alarm and my snoring was bothering her. Well excuse me. Maybe if you didn't go to bed at 4:30 in the morning you'd be a little less cranky. Whatever. I'm awake. I have to do an afternoon class in 5 hours so I needed up anyway.

Left the hotel around 3 yesterday, got gas, and dropped off the car. Was at the terminal by 4. My flight boarded at 7:40. Joy. Got through security and went to my FAVORITE lounge, the Cathay Pacific one. I was the only one in there until almost 7 and the nice hostess made me noodles special. We talked and chatted and it put me in a better mood than I had been in thanks to the cold shower at the hotel and the jerk at the gas station whose pump was not working right. Noodles solve problems.

Got my upgrade when I got to the gate which helped also. Boarded, had breakfast, landed 15 minutes early. Got on the train, was home by noon. Unpacked, checked emails, got mail, had dinner, watched Moana, went to bed around 10.

Teach today then I am done for the week. Since I traveled on Sunday, I am not doing anything tomorrow. Nor do we have any big plans for the weekend.

Y8 D279

I just had the worst fucking sleep ever. Including almost having a minor heart attack because I thought I had missed my flight. I went to bed around 9 thinking I could sleep from 9-2 and get a decent five hours. I woke up at one point, looked at my phone and swear it said 1:15. I figured ok, let's see if I can get 45 more minutes out of this bitch. Fell back to sleep, woke up, grabbed my phone and it said 11:50. My heart stopped. Did I fucking sleep through all of my alarms and sleep until almost noon?? I never leapt out of bed so fucking fast. That's when I realized I must have misread it the first time. Scared the shit out of me. When I realized I still had two more hours I tried to go back to sleep but that was a disaster. I kept thinking I fucked up and kept waking up every 20 minutes. I finally said fuck it at 1:30. So here I am awake and ready to go. For a 7:30 boarding time flight. Fuck me. 

Taught my class. While I didn't care for this group, I did receive some thank yous and compliments on the way out. Made it worth my time. Still don't like them. Left the client around 4 and got to the hotel at 5. 13 miles. One hour. Fuck this traffic. 

Got my stuff together, ate my leftover food, and finished watching Westworld. REALLY enjoyed it. Can't wait for season 2. I realized they drop a lot of hints about things if you are paying attention. Really well done. 

I forgot to post this yesterday but felt it was still important enough to write down and share. You're welcome to comment on it or share it as you'd like.

I am getting so tired of these people complaining about people “stealing jobs”. Especially when those people are unskilled, uneducated, self described “working class folks”. Let’s look at two scenarios; first we have the manual labor aspect and low-paying jobs. The farm hands, the day laborers, the fast food worker, the cashier at the grocery store - all of these are the typical type of employment we expect to see go to someone who doesn’t have a great deal of skills but can be taught to perform a task. These are the jobs that are supposedly being ‘stolen’ according to [white] Americans. Okay. Maybe. The real question is would you do this job? Would you do it for the pay being offered? For the conditions being presented? Would you work in the field for 9-10 hours a day for $5 an hour? Resoundingly the answer will be no. You want healthcare. You want breaks and lunches. You want a ‘fair’ wage. Well, if the corporations do that, then the cost of goods will increase in part. Not greatly. I won’t take the side of companies. I think most of them are soul stealing entities led by evil beings from another planet. I mean, there can’t be any other explanation for their behavior. They have to be part of an alien race bent on enslaving the human race. No decent human being would treat another the way they do, right? 

All joking aside, this is the root of the issue - company greed. The company seeks to maximize profits for themselves and their shareholders. That is the job of a company. No matter how altruistic we want to be, this is their job. Make money. What gets lost in translation is they hear Make Money at All Costs and Damn the Consequences. That’s another thing entirely. But that’s their mission statement and their goal. To achieve that goal, they cut corners. They hire undocumented workers. They relax safety regulations. They roll back laws designed to protect the aforementioned ‘working class’. And part of that is hiring someone who has ‘stolen’ your job. Now what to do? “There’s no work!! I can’t find a job!” you lament. Au contraire. The problem is you. Not the job market. And 25 CEOs of manufacturing companies flat out told lord dampnut this to his face the other day. The straight up said we have jobs. WE NEED PEOPLE. But the catch is we need people with skills. We have plenty of jobs in manufacturing. For people who are up to date. For people who aren’t afraid of technology. They need younger workers with at least some community college education. They need people who can take direction, who have up to date skill sets, who aren’t going to die tomorrow. The sixty year old steel mill worker is the problem. Not the industry. Not the company. The stubborn I refuse to learn anything new worker is at fault in this situation. Want a job? Open a fucking book. Learn to use a computer for something more than spamming everyone with the evils of how Obama wants you to have a death panel. Grow the fuck up and move forward. Because until you do? No, there aren’t any jobs for you. Sorry. Unless you are willing to do one of two things; either fight back and force companies to not get away with the shit I talked about before (work conditions, pay conditions, et al) or apply for that job the undocumented worker “stole” from you and do it the same way they do. Those are your two choices. There is no middle ground. Okay, three choices - educate, fight, succumb. 

If we want to talk about a real immigration problem, let’s talk about what happens in the technical, bio-technical, electronic, and similar fields. Here we do have a situation where people are ‘stealing’ jobs if you will. No one talks about it because its not about people crossing deserts. These people fly in on regular flights, land in airports, show some papers, and get jobs. I am talking about the overuse of H1-B visas. These are way too prevalent in our society and modern industries. Thousands of jobs could in fact be filled by American workers. College educated, intelligent, hard working people. Instead they go to people from India, China, Eastern Europe. Why? Same as the other ones - company greed. It’s cheaper to higher 10 Indian workers as contractors, not give them health insurance, and kick them to the curb when a project is done versus keeping an employee, training them, giving them a decent set of benefits, and creating a pleasant work environment. I see this every day. It’s such a short-sighted mentality. You might have met the immediate goal, but at what long term cost? One of my main clients deals with this on a constant basis. Every time I go to work on a new piece of their infrastructure I ask “who built this?” and the answer is always the same - some contractor 10 years ago. Are they still here he asks already knowing the answer. Of course not. 

In both situations, who’s really to blame? The worker? No. Regardless of status, education and the like, the onus overall is not always the burden of the worker. Because it all comes down to the damn corporations. We are the United Corporate States of Capitalistic America. In short “Greed is Good”. As long as we accept this as our pledge of allegiance, there is no hope. There is no change. We sign NDAs and accept terms of use without reading them. We let flashlight applications access our contacts and emails so the data can be scraped and sold. Don’t believe me? Go look at the advanced permissions of every application on your phone. I would bet confidently that at least 60% are accessing things they have no need or right to access. But you allowed it. You let them when you agreed to their terms of service. Why did I leave Facebook and Instagram? In part because of this. There was no reason why these applications were scraping as much of my data as they were. I read this morning there’s an issue cropping up in the sex worker trade - Facebook is using the phone GPS to identify when someone is in close range of another FB user and suggesting them as friends. Meaning your John now knows your real name, your friends, your interests, your address in some cases because an app decided your privacy wasn’t worth anything.

Why do they do it? Money. Always about fucking money. More money. More money than you can spend in a lifetime. More money for you to hoard. More money to withhold from the peons whose backs you broke to get it. Need more data to sell you more product to make more money. Have you ever imagined how the world would be if we never left the barter system? If instead of creating this fake monetary system we placed value on real commodity of labor and accomplishment? Hey, I wrote this book and you can have it if you fix my fence. I can fix your car if you can show me how to cook this meal. People would earn what they have. Not steal it. Not lie for it. Not cheat for it. Not destroy lives for it. Would we have all the innovation and same things that allow me to be typing this right now? I don’t know. I also don’t know if that’s not such a bad thing either. Instead of invention and creation for the sole purpose of monetizing it, maybe, just maybe, we would have products and services whose purpose was truly the benefit and growth of the human race. Ask Tesla how that worked out. Ask Tucker. We squash and kill that which we don’t understand. A 10% increase in defense spending is being proposed. 54 BILLION dollars. Let that sink in. 54 billion. What could that money do for healthcare? Education? Training the workers back up in paragraph one? No, we want to rape and pillage human benefit programs like the EPA to create bombs. This is why a 70 year old man, a 70 year old angry racist misogynistic, homo/transphobic, xenophobe, should not be leading this country. Because him and the ones like him know the best way to money is war. War is profit. War is good for bank accounts. Not so good for the people. Ask the people of Alepo. Oh wait. You can’t. They’re dead. Yeah, war is great - for business.