Had really bad dreams last night. Weird shit involving X2, being late to teach a class, living in NY, getting lost, and more. I've had 5.5 hours sleep because B is home and she kept doing the pull and roll all night. Combine the two things and it was not a pleasant night.
I completely ran out of spoons yesterday. I was done. Done with cats, done with the house, done with humans. I had nothing left to give. I need to recharge.
Remember that money I just got? Well, guess what? Karma is a cunt. $1500 owed in taxes. There goes my nice cushy savings buffer. But at least we have it. And I made more interest on that $1500 by putting it into savings each month than the government would have given me. That's how I have to think about it. Even if I put $100 per pay period into savings, that's $2600 to savings at 1.3% return versus having $100 less per paycheck with 0% return and getting $1000 back in a refund. I still come out ahead for the 12 month period. So fuck them. I will pay the due and be done with it.
B came home as I said. I really got tired when I had to help unload her car. She brought half the damn house with her. Then laundry. On top of it, she fucked up her knee. Which meant her contribution to unloading was less than desired.
I don't know what I am doing today. Surviving? Getting through the next few days so I can be on holiday for a week? Some holiday. I was supposed to go to Chicago. Yeah. Going fucking nowhere. Maybe the cabin. At least do something. Sit on a lake and ponder the meaningless void of life.
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