Y12 D66

Okay, a lot to cover this morning. Let's start with some karmic retribution. So, did you see who died yesterday? Herman Cain. You know, former neurosurgeon turned Godfather's Pizza CEO turned presidential candidate turned crazy boy turned cheeto boot licker. How did he die you ask? He got the 'Rona. Oh no, and where did he catch the evil 'rona?? Best estimate puts it it somewhere in OK. At a rally. Where he Wore. No. Mask. Look, I know it's not cool to revel in the death of someone. I also feel bad for his staff or anyone who without choice came into contact with him, but there is something satisfying about these anti-masker idiots getting a taste of their own. Especially now that the cheeto is saying shit like delay the election. You know, straight up dictator facist bullshit. Still think Hillary would have been as bad? Still think Biden is as bad? No you stupid fuckers. They aren't. Period. End of discussion. Grow the fuck up.

In other news, we have a friend going through the same issue X2 went through. They found a 7cm cyst on her ovary. Luckily they caught it early and while she may lose the one ovary, she won't lose anything else. The importance of regular medical exams people. It's put her under a great deal of stress so B is going to spend the next couple of days spending the days with her to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. It's a big deal and I don't wish that on anyone.

Speaking of medical exams, I had one yesterday. Sort of. Had my ears checked because of Tuesday's insane tinnitus outbreak. I went to a place recommeded by the American Tinnitus Association. They did a full hearing test first, checked for lumps in the canal, etc. Good news, while I have hearing loss, it's nothing outside the norm for someone my age and experience of ear abuse. No other word for it. Too many years of rock concerts and headphones. While my hearing could be better, I am not in any danger or having any issues. So that leaves us with how to manage the tinnitus. Unfortunately not a whole hell of a lot has changed on that front. They were able to offer me counseling, management, etc. Basically all the things I do right now. There was some good news. If I am willing to invest, there are newer hearing aids which generate a pink noise to help create a background noise to reduce how much of the ringing you hear. It would also help with the high end hearing loss I have. Except that's not a cheap option. We're looking at $3500 a pair. I will say they are extremely small and barely noticeable but I don't know if I am ready to go down that path yet. It's a huge investment. It wouldn't be a bad thing, but not sure it's the right thing right now. I am still pondering it.

In additon to all that, I finished the second set of workbooks I was building and can now turn my attention to creating of a new class based on the work I did this week. That's today's project. Next week I have 4 out 5 days with full classes which is nice. Just need to get through today, enjoy my weekend, and have a nice training week.

On the workfront, I also ordered two new books which I will be leveraging for this new class. Some good reference materials. Plus a new UPS to keep the internet on in case of a power outage. It's a small one but it will give me 45-55 minutes of internet if something goes wrong.

Made salmon for myself for dinner. B is having a food aversion week where nothing looks good to her. I have come to accept this and not try to force her to eat just because. It sucks making two different meals or adjusting sizes, but it's not that big of a deal. It is what it is.

Went to bed around 10:30 and managed to get some good sleep. My ears have been silent for over 24 hours now which is wonderful. This is also why I hesitate on buying the aids. On tuesday I would have given you any amount of money to make it stop. But the last two days have been good. Thank goodness.

Okay, let's go see what kind of shit the world is in today.

Y12 D65

Sorry blogger, I won't use your shiny new interface. I like the stupid old one. Why do these companies, including my own, feel the need to change things that work perfectly fine?? Tumblr fucking changed their layout recently and now everything is broken. I know why - Marketing people. Go fuck yourselves. Go on. We'll wait.

Spent all day working on the same project. Got a lot accomplished and actually learned a few things. Frustrated a bit at some of it, but did learn some stuff. I still stand by my thoughts that this product was built by and for programmers. It's non-intuitive, it requires a lot of custom coding, and it's clunky AF. But "it's the future!". Yeah yeah, okay.

Made burgers for dinner. Sat outside with B for a while and actually had time to talk. Nothing serious, just enjoyed each other's company. I then helped her with a blanket project. We had good quality time for the first time in a while.

Went to bed around 11:30. Today I will finish yesterday's stuff, then move on to making it into a new class. Have an ear appointment at 2:30. Let's see what that accomplishes.

Y12 D64

I had a really bad tinnitus day yesterday. From the minute I got up and I went to bed, my left ear was screaming. It seems to have calmed down now, but it was so bad that I made an appointment at an ear specialist tomorrow. I want to see what's new in management of tinnitus since unfortunately there's no cure. All you can do is manage it, distract yourself from it, ignore it. But when it was bad like yesterday, forget it. I was so cranky and grumpy in the morning as a result.

Worked all day on some new material. Laying the groundowrk for a new class. Same today. I also did my webinar which went well. 600 signed up, nearly 200 showed. That's a great turnout. Plus my attentiveness numbers were really high the entire hour. Good stats for one of these things.

Had leftover pizza for dinner. I have fallen off the meal prep wagin because I am getting tired of cooking. Need to focus on some meal prep to make sure I don't eat junk every night.

Not much else going on.

Y12 D63

I had another adventurous dream last night but this one slipped away too quick for me to remember the details. But I know it was something cool and I was enjoying my dream. Ugh I hate that.

I was right about yesterday. We ended up finishing 2 hours early. I had some material up my sleeve in case they weren't prepared, but it wasn't enough. I agreed to let them bank 3 hours for future questions. Hey, I'm nice that way.

We ordered pizza for dinner because neither of us felt like cooking. B did some work too which is good. She needs the money to boost her account back up.

Now for the rest of the week not much going on. I have a webinar today, but that's about it. Next week I have 3 solid days of classes. Is it next week yet?

Y12 D62

I had like the most fucked up weird ass dream last night. I killed these two guys at this redneck bar in the middle of nowhere. It was John Wick kind of kill too. Then I played it off like it was self defense because they were known troublemakers. But then I went all on the run and was having this weird adventure where I was like sneaking through office buildings and stealing ID cards and wallets. Then I am in this convenience store buying a bottle of water and end up on the campus of this school where I am in the cafeteria in the middle of lunch. One of those dreams where I fully remember the details upon waking. Freaky stuff. There was more and it's starting to get fuzzy, but it was a movie and a half in my head last night.

B came home last night around 8. Got her unpacked and settled in. I had spent the day not doing much. I wanted the house to stay clean so I kept my actions to a minimum. Watched TV, played video games. That was the extent of my movement. Made swordfish with a mango pineapple salsa and rice for dinner.

Oh look, it's 7/27. I hope someone is enjoying their birthday today. Knowing them they are on a private jet to their private island to be pampered all day. Have fun with that. I know that sounds snarky and petty, but hey, it is what it is. I still do carry anger and resentment. Won't lie or act high and mighty about it. It just is.

Have a possible full day of class today. It's one of those 1/2 day scripted, 1/2 day "mentoring" bullshit things. Which means the second half of the day will either be obtuse questions or nothing at all. Hey at least it goes down on my timesheet as 8 hours of billable work. Make everyone happy.

Y12 D61

I am so tired of the same images popping up on my screen day after day. Not tired in a stop showing me this, but tired in a I can't believe this is happening. People being dragged off the streets in Portland. Cops in riot gear. People without masks on the beach. Death. Murder. Mayhem. It's overwhelming me. I remember a time when things were a lot more fun around here. Before everything got so... fuzzy. The world sucks. This piece of shit cannot win another 4 years. It just can't.

I did quite a bit yesterday. Cleaned the house. Did laundry. Changed the sheets. Baked a cake. Lo, what a cake it is. A banana split cake. Behold:

Layer 1: Yellow cake mixed turned into banana cake and enhanced
Layer 2: Mashmallow fluff
Layer 3: Strawberry ice cream topping
Layer 4: Crushed pineapple mixed with vanilla instant pudding mix
Layer 5: Extra creamy cool whip
Toppings: Caramel sauce, sprinkles, cherries

I had a piece for dessert and damn damn damn it was good. Not as crazy sweet as you might imaging either. That was a fun project that killed some time.

For dinner I made lamb burger with a homemade modified tzatziki sauce. Had some fries with the same sauce covering. I ate well yesterday humans.

I went outside at one point to grab the mail and noticed a spider colony had turned my front bushes into a horror movie. Nope nope nope. Took the hose to those suckers right away.

The weather has been relatively mild and today is supposed to be a little cooler with rain showers from 1pm - 8pm. That will be nice. It's also supposed to only be mid-70s this week. I can handle that. Meh, it's not like I am leaving the house to experience it anyway. Safe inside my hold I be.

I am tired of the cats. I had a rough sleep because they wouldn't leave me alone. I woke up with one on me, and one on either side of me. It's like really? I did tell B that I have to go next. Alone time and away time are different things. I need away from here for a while. I might just take a road trip to OH. Go to a Raising Canes and bring food back home. Just something to be out of the house for more than 30 minutes. We shall see. She is supposed to come home today. I have no plans regardless. Watch some TV and relax sounds good.

Y12 D60

Let's talk about something for a moment, shall we? I was reading last night how the cop who killed George Floyd was busted yesterday for not reporting nearly 500,000 in income on his taxes and now owes 21,000 to the IRS. Derek Chauvin I believe is his name. The same guy who KILLED a man for passing a counterfeit $20 bill. Think about that for second. One man dies for a fake $20 and another walks the street for essentially committing a half million dollars in fraud. Why? Because we have this fucked up and distorted view of what's "crime" in this country. If it's crime against "the man", aka the gubment, then it's okay. White collar bullshit like fudging your taxes isn't only ignored, it's expected. Everyone is expected to bump their deductions a little, forget about that one savings account. Those things are okay. If you're an upper middle class+ white person. Oops. Almost forgot that last part about being a WHITE PERSON. And it's "only a crime if they catch you ha ha". How many of these so called good people are out there every day funneling money from one account to another? If the crime happens on a computer or behidn closed doors, is it really a crime they say? But lord help us a black man, a poor man, a struggling man, steals a loaf of bread to feed their family and the next thing you know there's a knee on their neck and they can't breathe. Or maybe there's a nice group of moms out protesting that knee. Well we can't have that. Round them up! Throw them into unmarked vans and shoot tear gas in their face! Then let's show it at a white house press briefing and act like it's all good.

Welcome to the fucked up world you all created. Dystopia 101. I don't want a basement anymore. I want a bunker.

In other news, my sister's FIL passed away. Kind of sucks. But he was older, in pain, and already suffering so they were prepped for it. Unfortunately they also lost one of their dogs unexpectedly. That part sucks. I knew this dog and it was good dog.

My buddy's dog is also sick. Was just diagnosed with lymphoma and starts chemo on Monday.

Doggos don't deserve shit like this. Assholes mentioned above deserve this but they just get a slap on the wrist. I should mention, he's not going to jail for owing that money. Nope. Set up a payment plan and send them $100 a month for the rest of your life. That'll do donkey.

Took my car in for service. Went to the grocery store. Did laundry. Worked on docs. Attended a 2 hour company meeting. Made torellini for dinner. Went to bed. My life in comparison is a nice boring borefest.

Whee.

Y12 D59

My buddy sent me pics yesterday of his chickens. Major fucking envy going on. They are the most beautiful things ever. I wish so bad we could have chickens here. Bees too. I would love to have a small hive and some stupid chickens running around. Instead I get 700 squirrels, chipmunks, possums, deer, rabbit, and groundhogs. None of whom will let me pet them. Bastards.

Another FULL day of recording. Started around 7 and didn't finish until 5. But I got it all done. Today I have nothing on my plate as a result. I have to take the car in this morning for service, and then a 3pm company meeting, but that's it. So worth the extra time I spent.

I didn't adult very well for dinner. I made myself peanut butter and strawberry crepes for dinner. But in my defense, I had to use the strawberries before they went bad. They were right on the cusp. Another day and I would have been feeding them to the animals.

Speaking of animals, I spent my evening doing B a favor and doing a water change on one of her tanks and caring for her creepy fish. Excuse me, creepy amphibians. That took a chunk of my night. Next thing I know, it's 9:40 and I have to get ready for bed. Whee.

Off to the car dealer. Then maybe a nap dammit.

Y12 D58

Spent the whole day recording yesterday. Didn't finish until well after 3pm. Which means not much going on. I spent the day from 5:30am until 3pm sitting here in my office. When that's your whole day, not much to tell is there? When I finally finished and went upstairs, it was time for dinner. I made a shrimp pasta primevera with some gnocchi we had in the house. Watched a little tv, played some video games, fed the creepy fish, went to bed.

Some things of note:

- talked with a friend of mine who is in a dangerous place right now. I worry for him being around that craziness

- made myself nostalgic by looking through some old pictures. Pics of me and above friend from 17 years ago. I still had hair. Sigh.

- looked at pics of when the kid was like 5 or 6. She's so tiny. My god, when did I get so old and she grow up so fast?

- Got some packages in the mail yesterday. Getting a little tired of everyone's shipping being behind. I still have like six more things floating out there. I blame both the manufacturers and the shipping folks. I know they're all overwhelmed but come on, there's people out of work who could help out. I know, I know. Hypocrite alert. I am not saying put them in danger. Sigh. I can just be patient. Be healthy. Be patient.

More recording today. Another all day project too.

Y12 D57

Stayed up too late last night. I had to wait for B to message me. We were talking last night about making sure she got enough cabin time in case things go on stricter lockdown, if there are problems, etc. At the end of the conversation we decided she would go up today and stay through the weekend. But then she says, well technically what's stopping me from going tonight? Um, nothing? She was right. There was nothing stopping her. At 7pm she headed out. She got there around 11:15pm. This way she has all day today, tomorrow, Friday, and she is going to come home Saturday midday. A little break for both of us. Hey, don't get me wrong, I miss her, but please you ALL know that right now, being in the house for another day with your spouse and kids and whatnot is getting to you. If you had somewhere you could go or send them for a couple of days you would. I don't feel like as humans we were supposed to have THIS much human contact. People need a break from it. Especially those with kids. I was talking to two of my co-workers yesterday both of whom have kids and one was dealing with Boy Scout issues and the other has a very inquistive hyper 8 year old who has decided to learn Microsoft Office. Both of them could use a few days at a cabin alone right now. Honestly I am not judging or picking on B at all for doing this. We both need a break.

Also I am recording right now. I have two classes to get done by Friday and two youtube videos. Each class has two sections, slides and demos. I got the slides done for class 1 yesterday and want to crank through the demos this morning. Then do the slides for class 2 and youtube video 1. That's my goal for today and it's a lot. I need to focus. Less distraction the better.

With that said, let's get to it, shall we?

Y12 D56

Yesterday was a rough day. I thought I had work to do but it turns out 3 of the classes I was all set to record, I already did. Last month. That only leaves me two classes to do. Don't get me wrong, that will take me through the week, but I was just frustrated because I thought I had more on my plate. Next week I have some classes with real students, but I am just off this week.

On top of that, B's friend came over. The one without power. So he spent the whole day here hanging out with B. I don't mind the guy, but when he is here, B tends to smoke more. At one point they had so much smoke in her cave, the alarm went off. I opened the door to a Dazed and Confused moment where the smoke just came gushing out. We had a long talk about it last night. She got defensive, I got angry, yadda yadda. In the end we worked through it, but it was frustrating. I know it's how she is coping with everything but it leaves me on the outside and picking up the slack which is the hard part.

I am hoping today is a better day. We shall see.

Y12 D55

Want to see why going to the grocery store is such a stressful experience for me? Here you go:

These are the types of fucking morons I am surrounded by. You see why I have so much anxiety right now? I wish he was an anomaly but nope. Add to this the ones who won't wear any mask at all, who go the wrong way down one way aisles, the people who get in your space and you have my typical shopping experience. Oh so much fun.

Yesterday was a bit stressful for me. One of the filters died on one of the tanks. The impeller motor burned. Now granted this was the filter we got for free when we got the big tank. It's at least a year we had it, plus however long they had it before us. In that respect, it did its job. I ended up replacing it with a Fluval 306 which frankly is more appropriately sized for that tank. It was also WAY easier to setup, to prime, to configure, etc. It just wasn't an expense I was planning on this weekend. Sometimes the universe doesn't give you a choice though.

We had some freaky weather about midday. It was moderately nice outside (hot, but not bright) when all of a sudden a MASSIVE thunderstorm came rolling in. Right after I got back from the store too luckily. It was a power flickering situation for us. For a couple of our friends it was lights out. One had a tree fall in their yard and they were still without power as of 10pm. They too have fish and lizards and are stressing out about everyone staying alive. B is going over there this morning to see what she can do to help out.

Made burgers and fries for dinner. I had a nice black and blue burger. We started watching Korra. Not as engaging yet as ATLA but also not bad. The animation update is much nicer. Played some video games and went to bed around 10:30.

I have been confusing next week and this week work wise. I thought I had a full week of stuff to do but the reality is I have NOTHING on the calendar for this week. I will do some recording to use my time efficiently but other than that, should be a quiet week.

Y12 D54

Went to 4 places yesterday. Woo! Big time outside adventures! We went to the eye doctor (B had glasses to pick up), the pet store, the vape shop, and the grocery store. Unfortunately I have to go back to the grocery store and pet store this morning as we missed some stuff. Oh well. But it was weird being out and about even that much. Too many people out. Too few masks being worn at some places despite signs everywhere.

I also got stuff done around the house. Did laundry, water change, and washed the cars. I also made an apppointment to get my car serviced on Friday. I would say overall that's a pretty productive day.

All that did pretty much take up a good chunk of the day. We had tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner. Then I helpd B work on a project. She is making a new crochet project and needed help with the math.

Overall, not a horrible day.

Y12 D53

The weekend. Which only moderately means a damn thing any more. I feel like this is the part of the dystopian novel where we change the calendar and all start using a different date system. 150AC. I think it is day 150 to be honest. Hold on, let me look...

Not quite. D134. Couple more weeks. Good times.

Finished up one doc yesterday. Gave my webinar dry run. Everything was swell. Made fish tacos for dinner. Played Leisure Suit Larry. Yes, you read that right.

Went to bed.

Today's tasks:

- water change big tank
- wash car
- laundry

I should have all those done by 9am.

Y12 D52

I was right. Evil does not simply fade away. 91.

Speaking of that, B had a bit of a breakdown last night. One of her bingo ladies had something for her and left it outside to give to B. The impact of not being able to hug her really struck B hard. It was one of those reality moments of what this is all about. What also hit her was 'what if this is how things are? I haven't lived long enough to experienced things and what if I never can because we can't travel any more? Or have concerts anymore?'. The whole seriousness of this just fell on her like a ton of bricks. I tried to be supportive, but this is where my head has been at the last few weeks and it's what's been depressing me. And at the end of the day, the sad, sad part is that it all comes down to hubris and stupidity. Here's something I don't get? Why hasn't this fucker been kicked out of office MULTIPLE times for all the blatant product endorsements he's been doing? His whole fucking family posing with Goya products. Seriously?? THAT. IS. ILLEGAL. Why doesn't someone have the balls to say something directly to his shriveled ass face? Argh. FUCK EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO ALLOWED THIS REGIME TO EXIST. I will admit I am grateful for corona and the continued damage it does. Without it, I would wager he WOULD win re-election. As long as this continues to ravage people's lives, his chances decrease day by day. Honestly I would love to see things still fucked up in like October. Keep it fresh in people's minds. Another set of riots would be good too. Anything to not let people slink back into their racist, idiotic modes. Or, let the virus continue to kill those too stupid, arrogant, idiotic to wear masks. Keep on keeping on.

Finished writing a class. Have a webinar to give today at 3pm. Then it's the fucking weekend or as I like to call it, another fucking day.

Y12 D51

I was wondering last night about my grandmother. Yes, in theory, my father's mother is still alive. She has to be at least 92 from my math. Even a pandemic can't stop her. I would wager at least. I mean, how do you stop pure evil? I should ask my sister. She'll know.

I sent my friend's wife a happy birthday the other day. I sent it to the last known emails I had. Probably never made it. Not like I have been a good friend over the years. Oh well. I'm a piece of shit anyway.

No, I mean seriously. Look, I don't know if my own family is alive, can't stay in touch with people for shit, have zero empathy in most cases for most human beings, and am all around just a recluse with no social skills. So yeah, I will stay here in my cave and wait out the end of the world.

Had the weirdest fucking dream right before I woke up. I was getting thrown across time and space. Ended up in a phone store where the computer screens told me exactly what to buy - 2 smart phones, 4 other phones, 2 tablets. Like the universe had some plan and I was just supposed to be ready for it. Lovely.

Worked on docs yesterday because that's my life now. Had dinner. Framed a couple of things. Went to bed. To summarize:

 I used to be so big and strong
    I used to know my right from wrong
    I used to never be afraid
    I used to be somebody
    I used to have something inside
    Now just this hole that's open wide
    I used to want it all
    I used to be somebody

Y12 D50

I said fuck it and slept in this morning. I am not doing so well. My lips are chapped and I have an ear infection. No more humidifier for me for a while. Need to let my ear calm down.

Finished She-Ra yesterday. Woo! That was serisouly the most exciting thing I did. I also taught a class but meh, whatever.

Happy tax day? Ours are out there in the wild. I expect them to cash their checks before the end of the week. But we will see.

Nothing else going on. It's quiet. Too quiet...

Y12 D49

Much sleep. Require more.Awake no want to be. Bah.

Spent the first half of yesterday stressing out waiting for my taxes to arrive. It was scheduled to arrive by 10:30am and as of 9am was stil not showing as out for delivery. It did arrive at 11am which reduced my stress. After class around 5, I walked those babies over to the mailbox and sent them on their merry way. Taxes be done for another year. I want no more trouble with the IRS. You all remember what has happened in the past. Never again dammit.

Sort of realted to that - around 4:45pm yesterday my phone screamed a forced government alert at me. As of 5pm yesterday we are under state mandate to wear masks whether these whiny ass bitches like it or not. You're out in public? You're wearing a mask. End of discussion. My students heard the alert go off and were like WTF was that?

Side side note - they should be careful with those. I doubt there's a way to do this, but they should avoid sending those to children's phones. Same goes with Amber alerts. Freak kids out.

Back to the post office, I was there 15 minutes after the alert and of course, old white people waiting in line were grumping about it. Funny thing too, there were a good 6 or so people standing in the lobby of the post office and not one of them was using the automated machine. I walked in, looked around, went right up to the automated, got my postage, done. Technology is your friend people.

My class was decent. Day two today. We'll see how they do with faster paced material. Some should be fine. 12 students total. One is really sharp, about 8 are doing okay, and 3 not so much. But we'll get there.

Chicken with rice for dinner. Was good. B had a lot of spoons yesterday and managed to accomplish quite a few tasks including making dinner. Proud of her for that.

Almost forgot, we had a little drama yesterday. We had a mail truck break down in our driveway. The postal worker was there to drop off a package and her van died. She was so embarrased but we thought it was funny. The neighbors must have wondered why a mail truck was in our driveway for like an hour.

My lips are so cracked right now. I hate dry weather. Bring me back the humidity please.

Y12 D48

A quiet Sunday was had. Yesterday was a weird time day. One of those days where the feeling didn't line up to the actual clock. At 4:30 it felt like noon kind of thing. I was just off all day. I did some yard work to try and stop the chipmunks from getting under the house. Had to block off some holes they have been digging. I need to get some cement or something to fill in the holes so they can't just dig them over again. Stupid critters. I don't mind the critters when they stay outside. But when they start getting into my basement ceiling all bets are off. I stay in here, you stay out there.

We also took a ride to Petco to get some sand for one of the tanks. B is having a fungus problem with one of the axies which meant a full cycle crash on the tank, full empty, and refill including sand replacement. I love how in one breath she says they are so easy to take care of and in the next we're spending most of the day dealing with their environment. Easy my ass.

Made chili for dinner and the week. Have a good quantity of leftovers. I have three classes and a webinar this week at odd times so having something quick and easy for both lunch or dinner will be helpful. Today and tomorrow for example are 1-5pm classes with some annoying group on the west coast. But then I have an east coast group and then the webinar is 3-4p. But that will have an hour before prep and and hour after of discussion. Blah blah blah.

Not much else going on for the week. Some day the world will get back to normal. But not any time soon. Especially if all you stupid fucks want to go to Disney World so bad. Fuck FL, TX, and any other state where the leadership is so stubborn and blind. FL though is a special case of stupidity. Largest single day spike ever recorded. I saw a great post yesterday - "What is so wrong in your life that it can only be fixed by going to Disney World during a pandemic?". Just let that sink in for a while.

Y12 D47

Got me some good sleep last night. Weird dreams but nothing out of the ordinary for me. Strange creatures, end of the world, mental institutions. You know, normal stuff. Bottle this shit up and sell it to netflix.

Speaking of netflix, man their 'continue watching' sucks. I have been trying to get shows to drop off but they will not no matter what I do. I erase them from my computer, log out of all devices, but nope, there they are still. Very annoying.

Did my gorcery shopping yesterday. Apparently it is now the law to wear a mask here but boy oh boy did I see a bunch without them at the store. Old. White. What a shock. I got through my shopping without killing anyone, but there were moments, let me tell you. Especially when I see employees not wearing or neck wearing them. I mean come on, you're handling people's food. Selfish.

Our friend came over to hang out last night. We got take away from the BBQ place near us. Them I trust. They have made an effort since day to do this right and not try to rush opening, they've kept their employees paid, and they are extra cautious about gloves, masks, distancing. It's a locally owned place who probably can see first hand how things are and they're doing their best. Plus the food is really good. I had a 1lb rib tips meal and it was awesome. Leftovers for lunch this week too.

We hung out, watched some tv, shot the shit. Went to bed around 11:30. Nothing on the docket for today. Got my tax bill, it's arriving fedex tomorrow. Thanks to the stimulus check and the refunded escrow account I can pay it with no issues. Mail those off tomorrow and not worry about taxes for another year. I am curious to see what happens in 2021. If they will keep the moved date or shove it back to April.

In side news, fuck Stone. And anyone who still supports this administration can shove a hot cattle prod straight up their ass. There's your swamp draining for you. Let the fucking evil Willy Wonka roam the streets. Good job. Oh and there was a picture of walking cheeto wearing a mask yesterday - below his nose. Stupid motherfucker...

Y12 D46

I am very grateful that I have a partner with whom I can be open and communicate effectively. Yesterday I was in a shit mood in the morning and the incident with the salesperson compounded every other little thing making them into larger annoyances than they should have been. By the time awoke I was just a grumpy mess. And I told her just that. I was able to say hey, I need to vent for a minute, I am not looking for a solution just an ear, and here are the couple of things you did that are really not a big deal but are adding to my frustration. Once I explained what happened with work and the additional things, not only did I feel better but she apologized for not taking care of a couple of things and handled them. That is what a good "argument" should be like. But it's not always easy. You have to feel comfortable to speak exactly what's on your brain which not everyone wants to hear and sometimes you don't know how to say. And the salesperson never apologized for their bullshit btw. They decided to respond to me with the equivalent of "well be glad I am selling and making work for you!". Yeah, you can fuck right off buddy.

In other news, our friend here as made what I feel is a poor long term decision. She quit her job yesterday to take a part time job making less money. Huh? Yeah. She says it's because of her mental health which I totally get, but she also has no support system or real plan. She is leaving a full time job where she has insurance etc for a part time job where they say they will make her full time in 3 months and give her a raise. Yeah, we all know how shit like that goes. Plus the grass is always greener because that's where the dogs have been shitting. Remember that.

Planned out meals for the week, did some house cleaning. Made fish tacos for dinner. B is making chili today for the weekend. Have to head to the store shortly to get everything, hence my 4:30 wake up call.

Last weekend of vacation. Let's try to enjoy it.

Y12 D45

FUCK SALESPEOPLE. I woke up this morning to a "hey don't read this on vacation but you have a class monday" message. What complete and utter bullshit. What, I am supposed to wake up Monday and find out I have a class? What the fuck?? That would have been worse by a longshot. Goddamn I am so pissed off at 7:30am. Lovely.

Yesterday was a general load of shit too. Too hot. B went off to her friend's house to get her drugs and was gone all fucking day. Leaving me to deal with everything.

Yes, I am pissed off, already hot, and just not feeling it today. Fuck everybody.

Y12 D44

B has returned! Woo! And with her she has brought - LAUNDRY! Woo! No wait. No woo.

She got home around 4 which is not bad at all for her. I can do the trip in 3h 1m but I don't stop like she does. Restrooms, food, etc. Me, I just barrel through. But she made it home literally 2 minutes before the sky decided to open up and rain for three hours. It supposed to be nasty again today. Mid-90s with thurnderstorms. Good times.

I cleaned a bit before she got home but to be honest there wasn't a whole heck of a lot to do. It's not like I made a mess while she was gone. Mostly I swept, vacc'd up fuzz, wiped counters, and made beds. Not a big deal.

The rest of the day was honestly spent playing video games, watching tv, and reading. You know, vacation type things. 4 more days of this.

Y12 D43

My birthday was acceptable. I was good most of the day but it hit me at night that I was by myself on my birthday. Oh well. It is what it is. The islanders threw me a party so there's that. That stupid game is so cute. I heard from a good number of people which made me feel cared about. Genuine well wishing too. Of course I also received a half dozen emails from people trying to sell me shit on my birthday so fuck off capitalism. Plus a phone call from the bank which too was just "since it's your birthday, this is a good time to review your investments and insurance" call. No. Fuck off.

B is coming home today. YAY!

Still on 'vacation'. Whoop dee doo.

Y12 D42

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday dear me
Happy birthday to me.

The sun has revolved around me yet again. Whee!

Did nothing yesterday. Very satisfying. Although I did do my timesheet and read some emails. Didn't respond to any, just read. Luckily none of them needed my response so that worked out okay.

Had a lovely salmon with rice and cauliflower last night. OH! I remembered a dream I had - I was at this restaurant and for whatever reason all my coworkers and friends also came in and in the end thanks to me they had 23 tables filled that night. They gave me a gift card to say thank you. Neat. A benign dream to say the least.

Same thing planned for today. Nothing. Go me.

Y12 D41

I almost stuck to my promise of no tasks. I did really well until the evening when I went to feed the axies and noticed oneo f the filters not pushing water as strong as it should. I ended up doing a full media change on the filter. But hey, if that's the only project I did yesterday, then that's pretty good!

For the most part I sat around yesterday. I did go to the grocery store at one point for some food for the week. I have the whole week planned out and the majority of days are things B won't eat. Swordfish, salmon, game hens. Nothing crazy, just stuff I don't normally get to have any anymore.

I also now have purple hair. I just want to see you laughing underneath the purple rain. Purple rain. It really is called that btw. It's a dark purple. That's how I spent many hours of yesterday. First having to re-bleach it, then do the new color. It came out pretty good in my mind.

Sorry got distracted by something.

Anyway, I am off this week and have a few little things I plan to do. Nothing major. Car wash, groceries, rip out the ceiling tiles in the basement.

Yeah, that's my big project. I want to see if something is dead up there. Will probably work on that today.

Got my ice cream cake for tomorrow. Almost my birthday. Yay me.

Y12 D40

Hey! Guess where I am? That's right! I am back home already. Ask and ye shall receive.

After being the first one up at 6am yesterday, I sat around until 8am, made everyone pancakes and bacon and then sat around some more until everyone decided to slowly start getting up around 9am. Even at 9am it was already starting to get hot AF. But then, fate intervened! Our housesitter messaged me saying how she couldn't come because her car was dead! Oh no! I will valiantly go home to take care of the pets! Yes, it is so sad I must leave early but what is, is! Originally I had planned on leaving this morning super early, then it changed to leaving around 6pm, then at 2pm I said fuck it and left.

Look, I tried. I even went back down to the lake. Tried sitting in the sun. Tried distracting myself. All that happened was I was hot, itchy, and grumpy. So I packed my stuff and headed home.

Made it home in 3 hours and 1 minute. Boom. The cats are happy I am home. Especially with last night's boom boom pop pop going off. All of us huddled here in the basement to avoid it as much as possible. Even a family of deer took refuge in our backyard last night because they know it's safe here.

Dumped pictures. Took 390 pics in one day. Oops. I am happy with some of them:

Look I know I am a whiny bitch. But why make yourself miserable if there is another option? The funny thing is how hot and grumpy other people were too. Plus the men folk decided yesterday was a good day to replace all of the water pipes in the smaller cabin. You know, the one we were using. So of course now it's nearly 100 degrees out, there's no water, and you can't sit inside because they've taken over the whole house. Well fuck me. All of this led to my decision. It sucks that B and I can't share something but it also is good for us given that it's like day 125 that I have been inside. That 36 hours I just spent away was the longest stretch I've been out of the house and around people in 4 months. I need to ease back into it, not thrust.

Two days until my birthday. I have decided I am buying me an ice cream cake for my birthday. Why the hell not. Today I am doing nothing. No projects, no tasks, nothing. Going to relax and play stupid video games all day. It will be wonderful.

Y12 D39

I have been to hell and it is the lake.

No really. This trip has been beyond frustrating to say the least.

The drive up wasn't bad. It only took me 3 hours and 20 minutes and that was being given the wrong address. Turns out there is both an Ave and a St for where I am and I went to the wrong one. Luckily they're only five minutes apart and I figured it out. That should have been my first clue. The real issue is that the whole goddamn family is here - B's dad, stepmon, kids, grandparents, her uncle, and her cousin. This is the very definition of uncontrolled chaos. You know what's annoying is people go "oh you're an extrovert you should love all these people". No, it doesn't work that way. There's a beautiful rythym of controlled chaos. Sit at the end of a bar in a well run, well organized restaurant and you will know exactly what I mean. It flows. The energy flows. You can take that in and recharge when you're like me. When it's people and kids just yelling and messes everywhere, it's not good energy and that doesn't work. That just makes me frustrated. That was the first part of the problem. The second was nature itself. I almost didn't sleep in the tent because of it. The minute I got out of the car, I was bitten by flys. My legs are covered in bite marks. Everyone of course is saying "oh it wasn't so bad last year, don't know what's riled them up". I don't know, maybe the murder hornets are upsetting them.

Or maybe it was the two cases of black plague confirmed yesterday. No. Fucking seriously. Black fucking plague. Oh look, it's the mid-season plot twist.

Anyway, the bugs were everywhere, it's 90 fucking degrees, there are way too many people in too small of a space, and I have to sleep on an air mattress in a tent. I don't know if I can do two more nights of this. Of course everyone isgoing home either tomorrow afternoon or monday morning so if I stayed it would be better. At least on that front. But it would still be hot, there would still be 10,000 bugs, and I would still be bored. I honestly spent a good portion of yesterday sitting in front of a fan playing animal crossing because I didn't want to move or be out with the bugs.

At some point I finally caved in and went to the lake. It wasn't horrible. At first. I was in the water and got a good look at what was floating near me. Oh boy, thousands of dead may fly bodies. Nope. Nope. Nope. I was out of that water so quick. Done. Gross. And they're sticking to me. Joy.

I did enjoy one thing yesterday. The tacos I made for dinner. They were fucking awesome.

Around 9pm, we headed out on the lake for fireworks. They did lake fireworks yesterday for some reason and the parade today. Go Duh-merica. Five adults and two children in a boat made in my mind for two adults. Maybe three if you like each other. Bounce bounce bounce. Okay, now I'm hot, annoyed, and motion sick. Yay.

The fireworks were acceptable. I will dump pics later. But by the time we got back to the cabin it was 11:40pm. I was exhausted. I tried to lay down on the couch to be out of the way and the next thing I know I'm being told to go into the tent. Sigh. Okay. Wouldn't have been so bad except everytime B would come in to do something she'd sit on the edge of the bed and bounce me. She didn't go to bed until her usual 3am so yeah, lots of fun. Woke up first around 5 to chirp chirp chirp. Managed to get another hour at least.

Gosh I can only wonder what today has in store.

Y12 D38

I'm up. Leave me alone. I don't want to be up but here we are. I've too much shit to do before I leave. And B keeps sending me "oh bring this, oh bring that" messages. Well she did up until 1am.

Even on vacation I can't escape the stupidity of marketing people. Annoyed at them I am.

Great. Starting my day being annoyed. Fun times.

Not a lot to say today. Not in the mood. Let me get my shit together so I can go drive for four hours to sit in the woods with people I have nothing in common with for 2.5 days.

4 days until my birthday.

Y12 D37

Woo! I am off! I have no obligations until 7/13. Yay me.

Yesterday's group was a challenge. They were really nice people who were attentive, talkative, engaged, but dumb as rocks. Seriously. But we got through the day and finished up. I teach the same group again on the 27th. Joy.

That was my whole day. Had grilled cheese and soup for dinner. Helped B break down the tent so we can take it with us to the lake. She is leaving today and staying up there for a week, I am leaving tomorrow and staying until Monday morning. Sorry, I don't want to spend my birthday in the woods. Part of it too is I am depressed about my birthday this year. Well, not quite depressed as disappointed. I had been looking forward to going somewhere just for fun and to have that taken away primarily because people are whiny spoiled babies, is annoying. What? It's the truth. If these people had just fucking listened instead of having to ignore science, we would have been through this. There are plenty of countries that prove this. New Zealand being one. Don't believe me? Look at their data:

Now look at us:

Yeah. This was totally avoidable. Plain and simple. Look at how long they've been at ZERO. Not 1, not 2. ZERO. But not us. Nope. Stupid ass people and their stupid ass walking cheeto. I told you 4 years ago people we're going to die. Oh no, you're all being over the top. Well here we are. Good job. So yeah, my birthday plans are fucked due to the humans in this country being selfish, racist, ignorant, idiots. Fun. See maybe disappointed isn't even the right word. Angry is a good one. Meh. Keep carrying around that anger, it will eat you up inside.

I did order a birthday gift for myself. Got the Child from Build a Bear. It won't be here for a couple of weeks, but whatever. I love him already.

Off to the grocery store this morning. Then help B pack, then after she leaves I will pack and do nothing for the rest of the day. Go me.

Y12 D36

Horrible day yesterday. Five students that were all blah. Slow to respond, not talkative. Which didn't help that we were doing this from 11:30 - 7:30. By 6pm I was going nuts. I was over it. Plus given the time of class, that was my whole day. I didn't finish up everything until 8pm and by then I was just plain tired. I ended up having to help B water change her tanks so the next thing you know it's 10pm and I am off to bed. Lovely.

In other news, I have decided to start vacation tomorrow. Fuck it. B is heading up to the lake tomorrow and I am joining her on Friday. I am going to stay Fri - Mon. That's enough time in nature for me. She will probably stay until the weekend. So yeah, I will spend my birthday alone. Better than in the damn woods honestly.

I ordered new hair dye yesterday. Going purple this time. Whee.

One more day of classes and then I am done. 15 students today. Joy.