ANA Y3 D212

We had a great day yesterday. Extremely long, some anxiety, but overall it was a damn fine Xmas. I was up at 3:54am and started cooking. Had everything packed and ready to go by about 6:15. Then it was presents time! We tried to be very practical with gifts this year. Nothing that is just going to sit on the shelf and take up space. The only real indulgence was the ice cream maker. But we will use it for sure. I have some fresh strawberries coming in next week's grocery order and I think that might be one of our first batches. After getting presents opened, we got ready to go to C's sister's house. The dog was the biggest stress factor on that. It was a 90 minute drive and the first 30 were rough. She finally settled down and we made it one piece. This was her first time around other dogs freely and this many people at once. We had a couple of moments but otherwise fine. I did "win" the white elephant. Through some strategic picking I ended up with a really cool Lego set. Best gift out of all 9. We did have some dinner issues. Too many cooks, too small an oven, etc. We got there at 1 and didn't eat until 6:15. We loaded up the car around 7:30 and headed home. The ride home was much better as she was exhausted from her hard day. We got home and we ALL collapsed in bed at 9:30pm.

Today is my slow day. Going to put away new clothes. Set up my new monitor. Read the manual for the ice cream maker. Tomorrow I am cleaning so today I will take it easy. 

I hope you and yours had a great day yesterday. Much love.

ANA Y3 D211

I AM AWAKE!! IT IS XMAS!! AAAAA!

Time to cook. Open presents. Go see people! AAA!

Much excite!

I spent the day in the kitchen yesterday as expected. Finally starting to feel like I have time off. Only took 4 daays. Sheesh.

ANA Y3 D210

I did not feel good yesterday. Was throwing up and just had no energy. Pushing myself too hard lately. I ended up sleeping for 3 hours in the middle of the day. Felt better. Made a bland dinner of tilapia, rice, and broccoli.

Only 18 hours until Xmas!! WOOOO!

ANA Y3 D209

Long day yesterday. Got more cookies baked. Planned on food to bring wednesday. Made lamb for dinner. Watched a movie.

ANA Y3 D208

I had the absolute worst dream of my life last night. I woke up at 12:58am sobbing. It was like a play by play of every bad decision I've ever made. It was horrible. I still can't shake it.

The universe decided to play one last trick on me. I spent yesterday with roto rooter here. Yep. Two clogs this time. $515. Lovely. I did manage to knock a couple of things off my to do list at least. Hopefully more to come today.

ANA Y3 D207

I have claws again! Meow!

Well I am free for a while. I am going to enjoy this time off even if it kills me. Only 36 people showed up to my presentation yesterday. Got my nails done. Did a gift exhange with our friend.

Today starts my list of to dos. First stop, groceries.

ANA Y3 D206

My meeting yesterday morning was fine. Normally I have been getting 100 or so people per each of the sessions. Yesterday I had 60. We will see how many we get today. Who schedules something for this time of year? This is my final day. At 3pm today I am done. I will set my out of office and not think about this shit until the 31st.

The rest of the day dragged like crazy. I know today is going to be even worse. Made pasta for dinner. Crashed out around 9:30pm.

Getting my nails done tonight and hanging out with a friend. It's snowing. Thoughts are all over the place.

ANA Y3 D205

I have a presentation at 8am. Apparently I am no longer allowed to bring up my puppy. WTF? Who is offended by puppies? Another fucking mark against me doing any work for this group in 2025. DO NOT BE HUMAN BEEP BOOP. 

Sigh. I finished my shit yesterday. Made quesadilla for dinner. Just done with all of it.

ANA Y3 D204

"Wake up, I'm horny."

1am. For the second time in my life, my partner has woken me up in the middle of the night wanting me. Think about that for a second. We've had plenty of intimacy this year. Not like that first year, but to be fair, I was trying to prove something that first year. But there's something primal and urgent about being wanted. Wanted to the point where they are asleep, wake up, and desire YOU. It adds another layer of closeness and passion. Makes me feel good. Makes me feel cared about and desired. That's important to the ego for sure. Needless to say, we had some early morning fun even with the dog on the bed and trying not to wake her.

Got another demo done yesterday. Two more to go and I am done. I should be able to get one more done this morning and start the framework on the last one. We went to the store after dinner (tacos) to pick up another gift for our friend we're seeing Friday night. C wanted to get him something directly from her. We got home, played games with our online friends, went to bed.

Three more days and I am done.

ANA Y3 D203

186 hours until Xmas. Four days until I am done for the year and can sleep past 6am for a while. I can make it.

Nothing exciting yesterday. Had a meeting. Worked on stuff. Made ribs for dinner. Nothing else going on. Trying to be quiet and lay low this week. Tight week until Friday so no money spending. No leaving the house except as emergency. Save gas. Save money. Make it to Xmas.

ANA Y3 D202

We watched another movie last night. Coppola's Megalopolis. If I had to describe it in one word, indulgence. I am not sure what I watched to be honest. Was it Shakespeare? Was it a science fiction movie? Was it a homage to Caligula? I feel like it's one of those movies that in 10 years we will get the six hour director's cut which will explain all the plotholes and it will go down as a cult masterpiece. It was an experience that's for sure. It was hard to follow, but the acting was good, the visuals were good, but it was definitely a love child production. 

Went to the grocery store, did laundry, made swordfish for dinner. It was a busy day. Played games, watched movie, enjoyed each other's company. Now to get through this week and I am done for the year. Just a few days and obligations to go.

ANA Y3 D201

The snow has turned to rain and it's sludge out there. Slippery, icy sludge. The gross side of snow.

We had a long talk yesterday about Xmas. Last year we went to her sister's and it was nice. We did a gift exchange, we had food. This year, we're dreading it. No gift exchange is being done becuase the one sister who plans it was busy getting engaged and traveling Europe. On top of that, we're not looking forward to 8 hours in the car with the dog (round trip), her racist Cheeto voting grandfather, the fallout from when they stopped by here and I yelled. A million reasons. I told C I would support whatever decision she makes, but I am also leaning towards staying home with the dog. Quiet Xmas by ourselves. We shall see how that plays out.

Otherwise, we had a good day gaming, cleaning, and being together. It was a really relaxing day.

ANA Y3 D200

Another day of teaching and my week is done. Only one more week to go and it should be pretty manageable. Two presentations, Thurs and Fri, a couple of meetings, otherwise curriculum work. I can make it. Then it will finally be Xmas week. 

We watched another movie last night. Started early enough that C stayed awake. Watched Heretic. VERY good. Strongly recommend. We went to bed early to try and get some sleep. No obligations today for either of us.

ANA Y3 D199

Majority of the day was teaching until 5:30pm. Not much else going on around me. Made leftovers for dinner, watched a movie (Krampus, meh). Went to bed at 11. Another day of teaching today and then the week is done. Only one more week and I am off off off.

ANA Y3 D198

We had a "squall" last night. That's what the weather people called it. Around 9:30 30mph winds mixed with light snow. C took the dog out and I couldn't see them when they are about 10 feet from the door. Just gone. The two of them had fun in it. Weirdos.

I got more accomplished yesterday. Managed to complete a risk matrix visualization. Made chinese food for dinner. Played some games. A little over a week and I am done for the year. I teach the next two days which will help get the time flying. Then the weekend.

ANA Y3 D197

No issues yesterday. Just another day. Worked. Made chicken parm for dinner. Watched some tv. Went to bed. Same thing on the agenda for today.

ANA Y3 D196

I had a good day and a lousy evening. I had a test session with a client which I was dreading. It was either going to take 5 minutes or five hours. Luckily it went smoothly and we were done in 30. Nice. After a friend came over for a social visit which was really needed. I made good progress on my new demos for 2025. All in all, the day was good. But then I got tired and had to still deal with dog. She is banging her cone against the cat door right now. It's that fucking cone. She doesn't realize she's making noise and bumping into everything. She keeps whacking it into the back of my bad leg. I can't wait for it to come off. I am hoping by week's end. Hoping. I need to take her out now and then go to the store. Welcome to my life.

ANA Y3 D195

It was a long day yesterday. Was home alone with the dog all day and that damn cone around her neck. I can't take 10 more days of this. She has zero spatial awareness right now. She's not supposed to run or jump. Yeah right. I have a dog, not a potato.

Made chili for dinner. Have so many leftovers it's not even funny. Going to be eating chili for a week. Not a bad thing mind you. Just a lot of chili. I may pawn some off to friends. If I can convince them to come here.

10 more days and I am done for the year. 240 hours. I can do this.

ANA Y3 D194

Had some time out of the house yesterday and it helped. I had two hours alone getting my hair done. Not a grocery store, not errands, just me time. I didn't want to go back home. Not going to lie. But I did. I made steaks for dinner, we watched a documentary on Billy Mitchell. We played games together. All in all it was one of the better days recently.

ANA Y3 D193

We now have a goddamn cone dog. $800 for her surgery. Hoping insurance pays quickly. Already exhausted.

ANA Y3 D192

C wanted cheesesteaks for her birthday so cheesesteaks were had. She had a good day and that's all that matters. I am dealing with some stomach issues and cramps which is not fun. Today I take dog to vet for surgery. Also not fun.

ANA Y3 D191

It's C's birthday!! WOO! She has to work sadly but we're going out for cheesesteaks for dinner, and I have some nice presents for her. Try to make it as good a day as I can.

I had a better day yesterday. I intentionally left the house, twice! Once in the morning to go to the store and then again after C got home to pick up one of her birthday presents. It made all the difference in my mental state. We had some nice sausage rolls for dinner and then we both fell asleep on the couch like a couple of old people. It was actually quite nice.

ANA Y3 D190

Nothing exciting. C was off. Worked on stuff. Made salmon for dinner. Same shit, different day.

ANA Y3 D189

It was a Monday. Nothing exciting. Just a regular workday. Put together year end tasks. I am honestly just counting down the hours these next three weeks. I do have some teaching next week which will help. Otherwise, it's curriculum update time. C ended up closing yesterday which sucked. She did a favor for a coworker so I ate a sandwich and soup for dinner. It was fine. I got laundry done. Did some cleaning. Watched the second chapter of Watchmen. They did an incredible job with it. Makes me want to rewatch the 2019 show now. Was always sad they didn't do more with that. She's off today which makes it nice. I can share some of the dog burden with her today. Tomorrow is her birthday. I did go out and get a card yesterday. Trying to be better and only buy one card instead of 10. Felt weird but I did it.

ANA Y3 D188

I tried to have a good day yesterday, I really did. But the dog makes everything tough. We had to take her to REI of all places so we could get her a new harness and booties. Yes, booties for our dog. It's because of the salt they use around here. If we want to walk her on city streets we have to make sure it isn't getting stuck in her paws. The harness was so she could use her new trolley system we got installed. Point is that somehow we ended up with a dog that gets car sick. Every dog I have ever known loves the car. Not this one. She pukes after 20 minutes. Good times.

We did drop her off and went back out just the two of us and that was good. We went and looked at carpet remnants for the basement and found some flooring ideas for the laundry room. I need to finish painting it and then I can lay down floor. I want it done before the first of the year. This is my goal.

Made leg of lamb for dinner. Played games with C and two of our friends which was fun. She closes tonight as a favor to one of her coworkers which is like yuck. Only 19 days until I am off and 23 days until Christmas.

ANA Y3 D187

This not leaving the house is getting old. We haven't been anywhere since the kid was here in October. I go to the store, I run errands. That's the extent of my life. Getting tired of it. C works hard and needs a break when she gets home, but I am taking care of this baby 24 hours a day it feels like. I need some me time and I need it soon, Made little chickens for dinner. Tried to watch a movie. Failed at that. Have a headache already this morning.

ANA Y3 D186

Was up way too early yesterday. It started snowing on us too. Me and the dog driving int he dark to the groomers in the snow. That was not a fun drive. While she was in the groomers I went to the grocery store, got my oil changed, and managed to get back home in one piece. I did slide through one intersection which was scary as hell. There's still snow on the ground. Not sure how much more we're getting. Had tacos for dinner. No plans for today thankfully.

ANA Y3 D185

I made a big mistake. I made an appointment for the dog at the groomers today. My mistake? Making it 7am. I am fucking tired. I just want to sleep.

Yesterday was okay. My duck turned out good. Cake good. Day, meh.

ANA Y3 D184

And now for four days off. I get a little break today but have stuff to do the rest of the weekend. We did leave the house last night. Had to run a couple of errands. Better than nothing. I also slept until almost 6am this morning. Small victories. Not going to over do the cooking today. Start around 4:30. Making my duck. Nothing fancy. Clean the house. Wrap presents.

ANA Y3 D183

 Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.

ANA Y3 D182

Yesterday was long. C is working overtime to take advantage of the holidays and shortage of people to make extra money. I understand why and appreciate her doing it, but it makes for long lonely days for me. The weather is in between right now. Grey but no snow or rain. Just grey. All day. You never know what time it is, you never know what's going on. So in the house all day, with no sun, alone. It sucks.

ANA Y3 D181

 Yesterday sucked. I didn't do shit. I was stuck in the house all day. Weather sucked.

ANA Y3 D180

I stayed up until almost 1am getting C's laundry done so she had clothes this morning. She forgot to put it in until she was getting ready for bed and I volunteered to stay up for her. As such I did sleep in this morning until almost 7am. Fair enough. When she got to work this morning, they offered her a promotion! Prepared Food Specialist. No more dealing with customers. She gets to work in the kitchen putting together all the foods served in the deli. How ironic that I end up with a partner who seems to be going down a food service career path. Watch, she will end up with her culinary degree before me. Cest la vie. Yes, it comes with a raise (a significant one too) and two weeks of training at their main kitchen. Very proud of her.

We had a good day yesterday. Managed to get a lot done. I got all of my laundry done, we cleaned, we made homemade mounds bars, did yard work, worked down in the basement and got things rearranged down there, planned out the dog trolley in the backyard (had to order drill bits, they will be here today), made a nice tuna for dinner, watched some tv, just a good day where we got shit done. I am happy. Don't get me wrong, the outside world still sucks and I hate people. But in my little bubble where it really matters, I am okay.

I was thinking about this when I went to bed. It's been 26 months we've been together. Not a long time in the grand scheme of things, I know. Between my three exwives, I was with them for nearly 30 years of my life. So a little over 2 isn't much. BUT how I *feel* after two is very different than how I have felt ever before. When I got into bed last night, I immediately made sure I was touching her. I look forward to her coming home. I still crave her. I still enjoy her company. I want nothing more than to spend time in the same room with her. Took me most of my life, but I finally found what I needed to be whole.

So for all that, I am happy.

ANA Y3 D179

I don't want to be awake yet, but here we are. Thanks doglet.

Had therpay yesterday morning and she made me take a self-compassion assessment during our session. I didn't score well to say the least. I am very down on myself lately and it came through in this assessment. She wants me to to do some of the guided practices on the website she sent me. Sure, let me just squeeze that in between everything else. No problem. Oh wait.

Did my second session. Only had about 60 something people this time. But in total just under 150 between the two sessions. Not complaining. C took me out for Indian food last night. It was nice not only not having to do dishes but also not paying. That was the best part of the night. I paid all the bills yesterday, bought groceries, etc. So not having to pay for dinner was pleasant.

Speaking of groceries, I got a duck to cook for Thursday. Fuck turkey and all the other nasty midwestern crap like green bean fucking casserole. Hate that shit. Nope. We're going to have duck, brussel sprouts and little potatoes. Suck it. I also got a leg of lamb and some tiny chickens. 

No plans for today thankfully.

ANA Y3 D178

Gave session 1 of 2 to my client yesterday. A little under a 100 people. Expect the same at todays. Quiet group. Probably because everyone is bit somber these days and it was 8am. But I got through it. 

Had a meeting, worked on a class for an upcoming training, the usual shit. Dealt with the dog all day. It snowed, but it didn't stick. Don't know if I would count that as the first one of the season. Dog was very confused by the snow. Cute but confused. Made grilled turkey and cheese with soup for dinner. Didn't feel like doing anything more than that.

Bills to pay. Therapy. Whee.

ANA Y3 D177

Mike Johnson's bullshit yesterday shows me what I have to look forward to for the next four years and beyond potentially. A world where I am barred from doing even the most basic things like using a restroom in a building that is supposed to represent me that my tax dollars have paid for. This is the world we're moving into people, and it sucks. 

Worked on a bunch of things. Made swordfish for dinner. Contemplated my existence. Decided I will avoid ever leaving the house again.

ANA Y3 D176

Went to the doctor yesterday. I have a muscle tear in my left leg. I am under doctor's orders to not walk excessively until the weekend. I am also on ibuprofen twice a day, plus heat at night. Then starting Saturday I am allowed to walk no more than 1 mile a day for the first few days. If there's no improvement, then we will look at MRIs and the like. Pretty much what I expected to be honest. None of this comes as a shock. But it was nice to have the confirmation. Worth the $25 copay to get proper medical advice. Had a late meeting with my boss to discuss upcoming training projects. Made chicken for dinner. C described yesterday as "very sleepy outside". One of the more apt weather descriptions I have ever heard. Makes perfect sense. It was a dreary grey day all day. Poor dog couldn't understand why she couldn't go outside and run in the rain. We're looking at getting a trolley system so she can have free reign in the backyard. Put that up this weekend if it comes in time. Have presentations to prep for on Thursday and Friday. Fun times.

ANA Y3 D175

 I am officially divorced for the third time. Woo! This time around, I really am happy about it. It was a wild ride in court today. So it's a zoom court which is fine for us. We get on and there's three other folks there waiting for their cases too. We were scheduled for 8:30 but the judge has shit to do, right? So we're all waiting. There's a lawyer representing a couple, me and B, and another couple. Well the guy in couple 3? Didn't mute. When the judge came to start he was mouthing off about how it was almost 9 and he was scheduled for 8:30. The judge was like "Well mr X, I do have things to do before I start my docket and I'd advise you to mute your mic before you start complaining about me in my courtoom". He backpedaled so hard it was hilarious. She calls the first couple and they frustrate the judge because apparently they filed in April and have been going back and forth on if they want a divorce. It's a 25 year marriage. Their lawyer is like lawyer slick and annoying. She sets them a new date and tells them this is it. Shit or get off the pot. Can't keep taking up court's time because you don't know what you're doing. She then calls us. We go through everything and at the end she says:

"You two are model divorce case. I wish all of my cases were like this. You did everything right, you listened to everything we said, you required no help, no lawyers. If you were in this court room today I would give you gold stars. If you come by my courthouse my staff will give you gold stars for being a perfect example of how this should be done."

That's right, we got an A+ in divorce which is a totally normal thing to do! We did do it right. We showed it doesn't have to be mean or vindictive. Hence my being happy this time around.

Doglet celebrated her six month birthday yesterday. We got her a pup cup. She has now lived with us longer than on the farm. She is officially our dog. Now to get her out of puppy stage. Another year to go. 

Have a doctor appointment this morning for my leg. May it be not as bad as I am thinking it will be.

ANA Y3 D174

Didn't do much of anything yesterday. C worked. I was home with dog. Made salmon bowls for dinner. Watched some tv. Walked. 

In three hours I have court. My divorce should be final. Wish me luck.

ANA Y3 D173

I now own a Mossberg 12 gauge shotgun. It is locked in a case in the closet in the bedroom. One box of ammo is in my night stand, one box in C's. May we never have to fire it. Did have a funny moment yesterday when I was picking it up. I shared with a friend:

Okay so lots of forms to fill out, luckily all on a computer. We're going through all the papers, all the shit he has to show me legally, etc. We get to the screen where we submit the background check. As I go to click the button he starts saying "Now this can take up to 2 hours to...oh. Yours is done." Four seconds. Approved.

That was amusing. From door to door, took me 2 hours, about 50 minutes of that driving. So a little over an hour to walk into a store and walk out with a weapon of destruction. Wow.

Did laundry, cleaned, got more groceries. Made steak fajitas for dinner. Other than the morning, a fairly boring day.  

ANA Y3 D172

Yesterday was crazy. Nothing worked in my class because of their network. I had to find workarounds and jump through hoops.In the end I made the students happy, got good feedback, and all was well, but on my side I was frustrated and stressed. Then I made ribs for dinner. Need to clean. Go to store. Pick up gun. Joy.

ANA Y3 D171

Another long rough day. Didn't finish until exactly 4pm. We have one more day together too. After work we toook a ride to the grocery store. One of C's stores is doing a grand reopening and two other stores are in the celebration. Some of the items on sale are incredible. We got a 15lb bag of japanese rice for $13. Four 12-packs of soda for $12. I am having her bring more home today to stock up. We saved $126 off our bill. Insane. Made pasta for dinner. Watched some tv. Went to bed.

ANA Y3 D170

Yesterday was rough. 17 people. 12 of them didn't have the software installed. We lost 40 minutes until they all got it installed and running. It was a draining day both physically and mentally. Made salmon for dinner. Did laundry. Wrapped Xmas presents. Collpased around 11.

ANA Y3 D169

Teach the next three days. Got to get ready. Have shit to prep. Class starts at 8am. That half hour makes a difference. Had fish and chips for dinner. Watched some tv.

ANA Y3 D168

Had a really bad night. My back spasmed on me around 9pm and I tried to head off a repeat of last time so I immediately put a heating pad on it, took a hydrocodone and got in a comfortable spot in bed. 1:26 I was back up in pain and this time add indigestion issues to the mix. I was up until 2:30 when I took another 1/2 of a pill. It still hurts this morning but is down to dull throb and I ate like six tums. This is the state of my life. My body is falling apart just like the world.

ANA Y3 D167

C has a good schedule the next two weeks. 7-3:30 M-W, F, Sunday 6-2 this week. Next week T-F 7-3:30, Sunday 6-2. I can work with that. Very much in line with a normal people kind of schedule.

We went out for mexican last night because it was a cold rainy day and I was stuck inside with a crazy doglet. I didn't want to be in the house any more. I spent the whole day amusing her basically.

Teach three days this week. Odds and ends today.

ANA Y3 D166

I know I haven't said much lately. It's been a chaotic hectic time in history. Tensions are high. Nerves are raw. There's just a lot going on to process. Sadly, I placed an order yesterday for a shotgun. This is the second time in my life where I felt the need to have a weapon on the premises to protect myself and my family. I don't like that. I would have liked to never have to do that again. But here we are. Sadly I will sleep better knowing it's in the house. Next up are wired cameras around the house. At least a couple mounted inside pointed out. My home is now becoming a barricade. This is what the world has driven us to around here. Things are only going to get progressively worse I fear.

I did have a productive day yesterday. I went to the store before C left for work. Then I mowed and mulched the front lawn. Made brownies. Made soup. Ordered a shotgun. Cleaned the house. Did laundry. Need to do the sheets today. Once again, trying to live a normal life while Rome burns is hard. But I have to survive. Survival sometimes is boring. It's getting out of bed and washing the sheets. It's paying bills and walking the dog. We did 3 miles with her last night. 

May your days be better than mine right now.

ANA Y3 D165

Taught all day. Got sushi for dinner. Exhausted. Went on thre emile walk anyway. Up early to go store before C goes to work. Another Saturday spent alone.

ANA Y3 D164

Things are not better. Craziness. Issues with people. People losing their shit. Not in the mood. Have to teach. Have to pay bills. Not handling well.

ANA Y3 D163

So it begins. Yesterday at work, C was OPENLY mocked and misgendered by both coworkers and customers and no one lifted a finger to stop it. THIS is what we get to deal with for who knows how long. You know where most of my anger lies? At the 14-15 MILLION people who chose not to vote. If you're one of them, you're no longer welcome in my life. Plain and simple. He LOST votes from 2020. 3 million to be exact. People who say my vote doesn't count? FUCK YOU. If those 14 million people had shown up and voted, things would be different. May god have mercy on you, because I sure as fuck don't. We shopped shotguns last night. We are planning a survival strategy. Odessa Tx has put a $10,000 bounty on any transwoman caught using the "wrong" restroom. People are already trying to report their friends, neighbors, and coworkers for considering abortions. You made this world. Good fucking job assholes.

ANA Y3 D162

I barely survived his first four years. Freedom died at 5:37am EST this morning.

Welcome to hell. This is the worst timeline. I must find a way out.

ANA Y3 D161

Today either freedom dies or there's blood in the streets.

May god have mercy on our souls.

ANA Y3 D160

"She gave me a home, so I gave her a family."

No truer words have been spoken. Yesterday was C's first Sunday off in a long time and we spent it as a family. We did stuff around the house, we played outside, we went on a walk. It was a good day. I made lamb for dinner, we watched tv. I thoroughly enjoyed the day.

ANA Y3 D159

Had my hair done, dealt with shit around the house, made tuna for dinner, watched tv, went to bed.

ANA Y3 D158

Not much to report. Taught all day. Answered emails. We had noodles for dinner. Took dog on walk. Did find the housekey at least. So I am going to use the new door thing on the backdoor so we always have a backup now. Watched a movie, Mr Crockett. Not bad. Went to bed. 

Hair appointment today. They messed with C's schedule more. She works today but has tomorrow off. Okay. I will take it. One day we can sleep in for once.

ANA Y3 D157

Last night was fucked up. At about 8:30 we decided to take the dog for a walk because she was bouncing off the walls. I wore pants without pockets like an idiot. On the way home from our walk, the dog went into zoomie mode, knocked me down, and sent the house key flying from my jacket pocket. We then had to break into the house, destroying a kitchen screen in the process. At 11pm last night I was ordering a new deadbolt for the front door. It will be here between 7 & 11am. Just how I want to spend my Friday night. Good times. I also fucked up my leg in the process. We had four kids, in a car no less, and that was it for Halloween. Welcome to fucking November.

ANA Y3 D156

Got a full night's sleep last night. Was in bed by 10pm. Have to teach the next two days and needed to be up early. Then on Saturday I have to be up for a hair appointment. It's going to be a busy couple of days.

Happy halloween btw. We shall see if we get any kids tonight. We might get 10 or 20 like last year. I don't expect more than that. There's a truck outside right now making horrible beep beep sounds and I want to shoot it.

Got to go get ready.

ANA Y3 D155

We watched Late Night with the Devil last night. I enjoyed. C not as much. To me it felt like the movies of the 70s and 80s. For her it moved too slow. I get that. We're trying to make up for lost October time. Probably do two movies tonight but I teach tomorrow so we have to start early.

Prepped for trainings, took dog for walk, made tacos for dinner. The weather has warmed back up. Our "Indian Summer" phase I feel. Supposed to be mid-70s today as well. Make up your mind weather.

ANA Y3 D154

 Overslept big time. But was up until 1am. Not by choice. By the tume we got the dog calmed down it was midnight and then I laid there trying to calm myself down until 1am. Just so tired lately.

ANA Y3 D153

Had a pretty good day yesterday. Got the stove cleaned. Got some sleep. Made steaks for dinner. Watched TWO movies, Sinister and Annihilation. Have to teach Thurs and Fri this week and have a bunch of mainetenance stuff to do today. C works from 8-4 which is okay as it's basically my hours.

ANA Y3 D152

Finally got a FULL night's sleep. My body needed it. We had a busy day yesterday and by the time we went to bed, I collapsed.

We did a lot yesterday. C finally had a Saturday off. I got yard work done. We went to the store, went to the dispensary, did laundry, started cleaning the oven (finishing today), and just overall took care of shit. We roasted pumpkin seeds. We went on a 4 mile walk. It was a good day.

Hoping for the same today.

ANA Y3 D151

Managed to get about six hours sleep last night. Best I have had in days. It was a crazy day yesterday. I finished teaching at 4:45am, had to get in the shower because therapy at 7:30. Took a shower, paid all the bills, had therapy, then we had to take dog to the groomers. While she was at the groomers, we went grocery shopping. Got back home around 11am. C wasn't feeling well and she went back to bed. She had been throwing up since 6. Don't eat taco bell after midnight kids. I ended up putting away the groceries, dealing with the roof leaves, changing out the shower curtain liner, watching the dog (who looks great now by the way), cleaning the house, and a million other little things. Next thing you know it's, 4pm and I am still awake. Joy. Our friend came over for pumpkin carving and scary movie. We watched The Substance. REALLY good. We got our pumpkins done too. Came out great. By the time he left it was 2am. Made it 42 hours on no sleep. I could use a few more hours, but life says no. Time to do shit.

ANA Y3 D150

Still teaching. On final break. This has been a rough day. I didn't get enough sleep. I fell asleep from 5-8 but that was it until 4pm when I managed to get another 45 minutes. So in the last 36 or so hours, less than 4 hours sleep. I can't sleep when I am done either. I have therapy, dog groomer, bills, grocery store. MAYBE I will sleep in the afternoon. Maybe.

ANA Y3 D149

Still have 90 minutes left in this class. On a break. Doing my regular morning stuff to keep my flow going. Group is good, no issues. They are novices but talkative, following along, and understanding the material. All I can ask for.

Yesterday was weird. I managed to sleep for a few hours during the day, but I had a stupid meeting that broke everything up. I slept from 2 until 4:30. Not enough. I am going to try and sleep from 10-4 today. Le'ts see how that works out for me. Probably shitty.

But I am scoring points for all this and making myself useful. All that matters.

ANA Y3 D148

I start my overnight classes today. 9pm to 5am. This is going to be interesting to say the least. The harder part is going to be the cultural and language issues. I have to be careful about my jokes and the like. Keep it very generic.

I did two insight sessions with this same client yesterday. One at 8 and one at 2pm. In total a couple hundred people showed up between the two. Went well I feel. Feedback I've heard has been positive. In between those I did litmos bullshit and prepped for all of my upcoming classes. Starting this week I enter busy season. I am booked at least 3 days a week every week until mid-december.

Went to B's house last night to get a check signed. I got my insurance refudn I was hoping, but not expecting, to arrive. Of course it was in both names so I have to get her signature. But it's okay. It was $1600 making it worth the drive. I put $1000 of it way immediately for Xmas. No credit cards this year. Cash and only cash. This gives me money for Xmas and C's birthday. 

The dog has her first grooming appointment Friday. Just booked that. This is going to be fun, not for her though. She needs it and we can't get her to sit for brushing. Good luck to them.

I will take a good nap today to make sure I am functional for my classes. Wish me luck.

ANA Y3 D147

Have a presentation in 3 hours then a repeat of it at 2pm. Then starts my weird shift of overnight classes. This week is going to be off. Only way to describe it.

Got prepped for today and the rest of the week yesterday. I was exhausted all goddamn day. Could barely keep my eyes open. I went to bed pretty much the minute C got home from work. Had leftovers for dinner. Didn't do much of anything else.

ANA Y3 D146

Took the kid to the airport at 5:30, stopped by B's house at 6:30, home at 7, filed paperwork spent the remainder of my day cleaning the house and dealing with dog.

ANA Y3 D145

Today she goes home. We're off to the airport in two hours. It's been super nice having her here. Yesterday we went to a maker faire, made dinner together, made apple butter, went to a cider mill, had a fire outside, C's mom and sister came over. It was a busy but nice day. I am very tired as it is 3:30 in the morning and have had 4 hours of sleep.

ANA Y3 D144

Tired this morning. I have to be up early again tomorrow too, but I swear, when I get back from the airport tomorrow, I am going back to bed for hours. 

Had a really fun and long day yesterday. Drove to GR around 9am, got there at 11:30. Parked in the garage and that was it for the car until we left at 7. We went to the museum, had good food, went vintage clothes shopping, talked a lot. It was a really fun day for both of us. 

Today we have local stuff planned and dinner at hiome. I will miss her when she leaves tomorrow.

ANA Y3 D143

What a busy day we had yesterday! C had to get up early for a doctor's appointment. Once again they tried giving her shit about paying out of pocket. The joke though? The visit was $70. Like what kind of poors are going to your office that you give someone shit about $70? Get a life.

I had my court appearance after that. Got online at 10:45, fifteen minutes before. There was one in progress in the courtroom which for some reason they let us see and hear. Wow. The wife was claiming abuse, improper evicition, alimony, etc. He was sitting there looking like such an ass too. He had a lawyer, the wife didn't. She was scrambling every time the lawyer objected. In the end the judge made them take a recess so we could go. We did great. You could visibly see the judge's relief when not only did we know how to use zoom, but had no issues. In the end, we have two documents left to file in the next two weeks, and then on Nov 18th, we will be divorced. I am stopping by B's house on Sunday with the documents, getting them signed, and we're done.

After that, we all headed down to Ferndale with the doglet. We took her to the dog butcher, we walked, then we had lunch at a balkan place. Kid treated. Was really good. I then got us cookies at the human bakery. We got back, rested, then went to K-Pot for dinner. After dinner, kid and I drove to the haunted house. We had a scary fun time. Got home around 10:15. Went to bed at 11.

Today is grand rapids day! Leaving here around 9 after traffic.

ANA Y3 D142

The kid has arrived!! It is so good to see her! I have missed her so much. I had amoment at the airport where I was like oh my, who is this adult in front of me. It hit me that she is 31 years old now. Think about this people. She was like 17 when I started writing this blog. I was just a little older than she is now. I am so proud of her and who she has become. But she is still my little goofball no matter how old she gets.

Spent the day in anticipation mode, headed out to get her around 3:30. We got home from the aiport around 6, had pizza, did a fire in the backyard, drank wine, and just had a nice night. We all went to bed around 11.

Today is DIVORCE DAY! Man this is a crazy week.

ANA Y3 D141

Another good night of sleeping. More deep sleep with deep dreaming. Very happy about that. Went to bed at 11 and slept until 6. 

Got some cleaning done around the house because in less than 12 hours the kid will be here!! WOO! So excited to see her. A little nervous. Things have changed in the last 18 months that's for sure. But overall more excited than nervous. Made a nice meatloaf for dinner last night. Went on a three mile walk. I swear with all the walking we've been doing I should be skinnier. My body just likes fat. Especially in the winter. Oh well.

Just got to make it through the next 8 hours and I am out of here to the airport!

ANA Y3 D140

I finally got some sleep! Good sleep too. Went to bed around 10:30, got up at 6am. I needed it. I had some deep dreams including one where I was in a blimp chase with a helicopter. Yeah, not sure about that one but it was cool in my head. Had other dreams too. Pretty vivid. I needed some deep REM sleep clearly. 

Did a variety of things yesterday. Mostly paperwork. C had to work, gee what a shock. Didn't feel like making diiner so I threw together a quick mushroom quesadilla. I did bake yesterday, Made popovers. Made coconut clusters. It's the weather. Makes me want to bake. And make soup. Mushroom soup is on the horizon soon.

Two more days and I get to see the kid! Technically less, let's see... 35 hours!! Holy moley!! Very excited to see her!!

ANA Y3 D139

Yesterday kind of sucked. Not like in a major bad way, but more in a I miss C kind of way. She worked from 6-2 so we were up early. But then she was so tired when she got home, she passed out on the couch at 7. I barely spent 5 hours with her and on top of that, I had to take care of dog the whole day. Which was rough because of rain. We did manage to go on one walk in the morning at least. Otherwise, trapped in the house alone. I made burgers for dinner, we watched a little tv, then she was out and I was up until midnight alone. Suck.

Only three days this week and then the kid comes, my divorce is finalized, and fun times abound!

ANA Y3 D138

Sunday morning and up at 5am. Joy. Dog has energy because C had to go to work and there was action in the house. I do not have said energy. I did get a lot done yesterday though. I did a ton of yardwork which was good because it started raining around 8pm and is still going. I got ALL the laundry done. Like everything. I made ribs for dinner. I cleaned. It was a good day mentally for me. Of course I am exhausted and it is what it is. Only have to make it through three days next week and then the kid is here! Woo!

ANA Y3 D137

Woke up to an email sent at 6pm on a Friday from our dumb salesperson. She wants a meeting about something that I have no knowledge of nor anything to contribute to said meeting. Whatever. I will go and be polite I guess?

Had a decent day yesterday. We went on two walks again. We tried the new spongebob meal at Wendy's. We went to the grocery store. Started doing some house cleaning. Cleaned more leaves out of the gutter. Going to work on bagging up leaves today. Paid all the bills. Ordered stuff for the kid when she is here. Specifically a french press since she is a coffee drinker. We needed to have one any way so not the end of the world. 

C works again today from 10-4. Not happy about that but it is what it is.

ANA Y3 D136

It's payday. Bills to pay. Money come, money go. Yay.

Nothing exciting. Prepping for an exam. Made jambalaya for dinner. Sausage and shrimp. Took dog on two walks to try and wear her out. Just making it through the days until the kid is here.

ANA Y3 D135

Had bad dreams. People yelling at me. People mad at me. Don't like.

Nothing to report. Nothing to see here. Move along.

ANA Y3 D134

Literally the same as yesterday. Only difference is I took dog on 2 mile walk by myself. Otherwise, rinse and repeat. One week the kid will be here. Get to do some fun stuff.

ANA Y3 D133

Another day where I am up late because I was up late. Didn't get to sleep until 1am. Need to get back to my old schedule. Need this dog to be a dog and not a puppy.

Worked on random stuff. Had meetings. Ate leftovers. Watched TV.

ANA Y3 D132

Ten days. That's when my divorce will be final. Nine days the kid will be here. October is rocking. Talked to the kid yesterday and made some plans. One of the days she is here we're going to Grand Rapids. She looked it up and there's an Alexander McQueen exhibit happening right now. Seeing as that was something her and I bonded over way back when on a trip to LA, it's only fitting we go to it now. She is really excited as am I. We're going to do some other stuff too, but now that we have one day solid, it makes it more tangible.

C is going into work today and discussing full time. She brought home the benefits package she will have access to if she does. I went over everything with her and it's very good. Mostly identical to what I get, better in some minor places, worse in other. But in general, very similar. The big difference is hers is half what mine is per month. She is going to be set on that at least. She will be bringing in double wha she is right now as well. This is good.

I spent the day dealing with doglet. Made steaks for dinner. Watched some tv. Played some games. Went to bed.

ANA Y3 D131

I'm a redhead! Whee! My hair looks great and I am happy. We were there from roughly 10am until 2 so that was the bulk of our day. We took a nap, had happy's for dinner, went on a walk, C went to bed around 10, I came in at midnight, someone was awake and in a mood so ya know. I feel bad because she didn't get enough sleep but not that bad. Heh. She's at work right now. I am doing my thing with doglet. Nothing major planned for the day.

ANA Y3 D130

It's new hair day!! WOO! All I care about today. Everything else is irrelevant.

Made salmon for dinner. Did work. Went on walk.

ANA Y3 D129

Ah nothing like having a dog in the house who suddenly bolts upright, barking on high alert, then the cat screaming, and everyone leaping out of bed only to find a confused Blaze sitting at the back door. Good times. Great way to start the morning.

Long day yesterday. I spent the day modifying the class I just taught. Cleaned up some demos, fixed some typo issues, updated screenshots. The rough part was inbetween all that I was playing tech support for someone who bought one of our $149 CBT classes. We literally spent more in me helping him than he did on the class. He was all confused saying these classes aren't for beginners! Well I looked up what he bought and NO because he bought "New Features for EXPERIENCED Authors". You're right bud, not for beginners. He bought it because it was cheap and he thought he could do it. BUZZ! The class YOU need is $499. Sorry.

Made a mid afternoon snack of corn dogs. Like from scratch. They weren't bad. We need new oil in the fryer though. Made both of us a bit queasy later in the day. For dinner I made chili spaghettit with leftovers. Watched some TV. C fell asleep in the chair in the office while I played games. We all went off to bed around midnight.

Nothing earth shattering on the agenda today. One more day for new hair!!

ANA Y3 D128

Two days until my hair appointment. I can't wait!! So excited!

Yesterday was rough. Dog was being crazy C was in a mood. My class was long and raining. Students were fine, it's just a long class with a lot of material. Finished right at 5:30. Made italian sausage hoagies for dinner. By the time dinner was done and everything was put away it was literally bed time it felt like. So other than teaching and dog, not much else going on. Get a bit of a break today. Have to make changes to the class based on this week. I have to teach it again soon so I need to make the changes today.

ANA Y3 D127

I slept wonderfully last night. Had so many different dream sequences. I remember the last one barely. Being at some charity event thing. But I had so many other smaller sequences because I was deep sleeping last night. I actually feel refreshed for once. About damn time.

Did many things yesterday. Made tacos. Watched some tv. Dealt with work stuff. Finished 2025 open enrollment. We have a new benefit this year which I opted into. For $15 a month I now have access to a lawyer. Documents, advice, help with filing forms. All at my fingertips. I think I will use them to have a will written up this year.Maybe use them to help C change her name. Also she was able to reapply for her insurance. Let's see what comes of that. We made a fire last night. Hung out in the backyard. It finally felt like fall. 2 weeks and the kid will be here! How awesome is that?

Teaching today. Looking forward to it actually. Then in three days, new hair for fall!!

ANA Y3 D126

I massively overslept. I had an alarm go off at 5:30 and nope. I stayed in bed until 7:30. Clearly I need sleep.

Taught yesterday and it felt good. No lie. I was back in the groove, I was doing well. Taught until 5:30 and had friends come over around six to meet the doglet. I made chili in the morning and it was all ready when they arrived. We played with dog, caught up, and they left around 8. C got home at 9:40, we watched some tv, went to bed at midnight.

Playing catch up right now. Need to handle open enrollment today. Fun.

ANA Y3 D125

Well, we had a much better night but that's because we caved in and let her sleep in bed with us. We were always going to let her sleep in bed, we've just been worried she's too small and won't stay asleep all night. She did just fine. She's still in bed right now even though she knows I am up. 

Had a boring day. C got home at 2. Went and ran some errands. While we were out C got some bad news. One of her cousins died. 19, suicide. She doesn't have all the details but he was in with a bad crowd - Republicans. No for real. He got caught up in the Jan 6th bullshit, found himself on a no fly list at 18, was heading down a horrible path. She doesn't know how to feel. He wasn't a good kid by any stretch but he also didn't need to die. She was in a weird headspace as a result and I totally understand.

Made little chickens for dinner, watched some tv, went on a walk. 

I teach this week. 9:30-5:30. I've missed it.

ANA Y3 D124

Went back to bed after C left. We had another rought night. Doglet does not like being in that crate. We have created a dependent dog and it's our fault. She can handle it if we put her in it and leave, but if she knows we're still in the same room, forget it. 

Quiet day, busy evening. Since C didn't get home until 4, we didn't get anything done until then. When she got home we went to the grocery store, the vape shop, and home depot. Made chicken quesadillas for dinner. Replotted a plant she brought home. A couple of her friends were in town so they stopped by to pick up some guitar stuff C had for them. We socialzed for a while, made pretzels, and she got into bed around 10. I followed at around 12:30. Dog then kept us up until 4. Ugh. So yeah, I went back to bed this morning. 

C gets off at 2 today and I teach next week. We cannot have a repeat of last night. Just can't.

ANA Y3 D123

Had therapy, picked up a prescription, got groceries, paid bills, mowed the lawn, gave presentation to another 100 people, sat through a lunch and learn, made pizzas for dinner, watched some tv, went on only a mile walk. Not bad. Lot accomplished. We've been working on getting doglet over her fear of the stairs. Going well. I just realized, this is the 3rd dog I have written about in the last 15 years. The corgi I had before I moved, sausage dog, and now doglet. Wow. In the same time, how many fucking cats? Beep, Aggie, Marble, Chili, Belly, Merlot. Can't forget the fish with legs. Or the regular fish. Wow. Lots of animals have come and gone in my life. It's both a blessing and a curse sometimes. We're talking about doing some house rearranging. Let's see what comes of that.

ANA Y3 D122

Only had a little over 100 people yesterday. I am hoping for the same numbers today which will mean over 200 people in total. Down from the first session but that's okay. Still a good turnout. Better than my typical numbers. 

Went on a three mile walk last night. Today is payday. Need to do bills. Need to pick up a prescription. Need to get ready fro therapy. A lot going on today. Need to do yard work. Too much to do and not enough time to do it.

ANA Y3 D121

I had a full night's sleep finally. In three hours I will be presenting to over 200 people again and needed the sleep. When C got home I basically went to bed. I don't know what time she came to bed but damn if I didn't need all the sleep. 

Nothing exciting yesterday. Some fighting with a sales person. What else is new? Made leftovers for dinner. Watched some tv. Dealt with dog. Got to go get ready. This is a big presentation.

ANA Y3 D120

Fuck this dog right now. We were up all night with her whining about being in her cage. At one point C even slept on the fucking floor with her to try and make it better. I am so tired it's not even funny. 

Had a moderately boring day. Went and had cold stone. Made tuna burgers for dinner. Got a preview of my next hair color. Just the dog. Only thing worth noting.

ANA Y3 D119

We had a good time last night and C really needed it after the day she had. The first part of the day was pretty shitty. She was turned away from her doctor for being poor. Seriously. Earlier this year the state cancelled her state insurance erroneously by including my household income towards her eligibility. We do not claim each other on taxes, therefore my income doesn't count. She has been trying to reach a human being to discuss this for months. Where we live, this is impossible. Their website is its own dumpster fire, they won't talk to people face to face at the main office, and they are open for phone calls basically only during regular people's working hours. In the meantime, she has needed to go to the doctor for refills of prescriptions. Last time she went, three months ago, we explained what was going on and paid for the visit out of pocket. This time they flat out said "this visit is an annual so you can't afford it". They wouldn't even give her an estimate. I would have paid it. Or at least I would have wanted to know the amount so I could try to pay it. But they refused and said we will reschedule you for next month "so you can figure it out". WTF is wrong with this country when it comes to health insurance and people's lives??

But regardless, this put her into a huge downward spiral of depression. She basically spent the day in bed crying. I did some research for her and can help, but I can't fix this no matter how much I want.

We left for the concert around 4, took us an hour and ten minutes to go 19 miles because of construction and accidents. Ridiculous. I was already tweaked when we got there. Luckily, the venue was very nice, parking was included and easy to deal with, and we got pretty close to the entrance. They had food trucks and we had some good Mexican food. Our seats were nice, the crowd was chill. 

Concerts are very different when it's not heavy metal rock and roll. It was a very chill concert. 2 hour set, drinking just water, crowd was mellow. All in all, it was a good time. I knew none of the songs, but I appreciated it nonetheless. C had a great time and that's all that matters. B and A came over to dogsit and they had the time of their life. I got so many videos and pictures it was hilarious. Doggo was safe, everyone had fun, we got home around 11:30. Not a bad way to spend a Monday.

ANA Y3 D118

We have to do something about the "backyard issue" as I call it. Yesterday it started raining around 4pm and didn't let up until very late. Which means we couldn't go on a decent walk. This dog needs walks. At 11pm last night I was outside letting her run laps to try and burn off energy. It didn't work. She had us up until midnight even though we tried goingto bed early. She just has a ton of built up puppy energy. 

When C got home from work yesterday I handed off dog duty and did a bunch of stuff. I got up on the roof and cleaned the gutters. Just in time too. I did backyard work. We gave the dog a bath. I started ribs. From 2-4 I was just like in 100% go mode. 

Today we have to go to the doctor for C at 8, then the concert tonight. B is coming over to dogsit. It's going to be another long day.

ANA Y3 D117

It is the morning. C is back at her normal 6-2 so we've been up a little while. One of us is going back to sleep and it is not me. 

Not a horrible day yesterday. C worked 10-4 which sucked but I managed to get a few things done around the house. Did some yardwork. Made shawarma for dinner. Watched some TV. Went on a walk around 9pm. A basic day but not a bad day.

ANA Y3 D116

Once again I am tired. We managed to get into bed a little after 11, but someone was very wound up still and didn't want to go to sleep. We rearranged the bedroom yesterday to make her new kennel fit better and she is now farther away from the bed. This did not go over well with her. We ended up being up until midnight despite our best efforts. We tried.

Had a meeting with my boss around 11:30. He asked to meet earlier because "I am taking a four hour lunch and pretty much not working today". Fair enough buddy. Made burgers for dinner. Tonight I am making shwarma.

A friend was asking about this blog yesterday. I almost shared the first year with her. But I went through and started reading it before. I don't recognize that person any more. The casual self destruction. The wasting of money. The arrogance masking depression. It was sad to read to be honest. I don't like that person. I like who I am now, not who I was. Growth, eh?

ANA Y3 D115

Can I have one night where I go to bed early? Just one please? Was so close last night. But no, we ended up losing 2 hours of our life at the Animal Emergency Clinic from 10pm until almost midnight. Not one of of ours even. Remember I told you about MM? Well, he came back last night. He also decided to be super friendly. Friendly enough we got him to come inside the house. My sister's cat recently went missing and she was going crazy with worry not knowing what happened. That story ended positively as he was found and they were reunited. This all of course was driving me crazy. I couldn't imagine someone out there not knowing where there cat was. Which means at 10pm we bundled up MM into a carrier and drove him to the AEC. At first it looked like they weren't going to find a chip and we were about to have a new cat. But then DING! Chip found! The nice people there made some phone calls, got the owner's info and set out to call her. Well, here's where our story twists. She was upset we were calling about her cat, Blaze. Apparently he is an outdoor cat. Who does that in this day and age especially with how close we are to a busy road??Are you nuts?? She was annoyed she had to drive to come pick up her cat. I was ready to throw down if need be. First off, it's a 15 minute drive to this place, we waited nearly 40 for her. She shows up, no carrier, nothing. I am going to write this off to cultural differences, but still. She was a tiny eastern european woman who saw nothing wrong with cats being outside animals. Argh! She literally took the cat, whom she clearly loved and loved her, and they drove off. That's it. Very anti-climatic. She did ask what she could do in the future to avoid this. She also asked if we had a cat and maybe hers just wanted to "play". Lady, it doesn't work like that. I was so annoyed and exhausted by the time we got home. We ended up being awake until almost 1am again.

In the land of our nut jubs, we had to replace doglet's kennel. We've been using that wood one that used to be Pip's. Mistake. We went to the grocery store yesterday in the morning to give doglet some alone time. She spent the hour tearing the wood apart trying to get out. Lovely. We now have a giant metal crate in our room taking up way too much space. I have to rearrange the room today. Somehow, someway. She was being a major butt all day too. The excitement of MM, the anxiety of us going to the store. It was all just a tiring day. I would be excited for the weekend, but guess who fucking works all weekend? Yep. Good times.

ANA Y3 D114

This staying up past midnight shit has got to stop. I am getting nothing done in the mornings as a result. I am oversleeping and it's throwing me off. I am going to bed early tonight come hell or highwater. Tired of it. Not the dog's fault either. It's C closing three nights in a row. She doesn't get home until 9:40 or so, then needs dinner, we talk, we spend time together, and the next thing you know it's midnight. Killing me.

Nothing exciting going on. Finally have some teaching coming up but not yet. Should be busy starting next few weeks though. End of year and all that. Can you believe we're almost through another year? Feels like it was just Xmas. Here we are again. It just never stops.

ANA Y3 D113

I am so fucking tired. Just exhuasted all over. I need sleep. Lots of it. Help.

ANA Y3 D112

Last night around 11pm we both had a scare. We're in the office and we hear a blood curdling scream from Merlot in the other room. It sounded like she got stuck somehwere and was hurt. Turns out there was another cat outside and she didn't like it. Nearly made us poop our pants. Said cat was back this morning as we left it a bowl of food. We're thinking about catching it and seeing if it is chipped. But wow that was scary.

Worked on a rewwrite of one of my classes yesterday. C ended up working 5-9. Didn't get home until almost 10pm. Not much else going on.

ANA Y3 D111

As promised, the three day update:

Friday - we left on time around 11:30 as we needed to get gas first and we knew we would have some hiccups. 45 minutes in, the first "hiccup" happened. We threw up. I had tried to puppy proof the car as much as possible but like a baby, if one thing is uncovered, bodily fluids will find that one thing. All good. We pulled over at a weigh station and took care of it. Our one and only issue on the drive there. Got to the hotel around 2pm, room ready, unloaded our piles and got situated. We then set out for poutine. 14 places this year, but we added some rules. Nothing with tater tots was rule number one. From there it was things neither of us liked. Of course it didn't matter as the only remaining 8, only 2 were ready to go. We ended up having 2 poutines. Both were excellent and we got the t-shirt this year. One of the places had outdoor seating and we took advantage of that later in the night to have dinner there. The doglet did wonderful. She got to meet her first tiny human which went well. We got back to hotel, relaxed, went out for walks, went to bed. We do not like elevators or automatic doors yet we have learned. We did however figure out how to jump on the hotel bed.

Saturday - got up early, had breakfast, and headed downtown for art. Sadly we didn't see as much as we would have liked because we had to take turns going in places. Plus it was day one, early, and not much was setup yet. That's okay. Again, it was a good learning day for pupper. We ended up walking 4.5 miles in total. She was pooped as were we. We all took a nice afternoon nap. We did find an italian place next to our hotel which also had patio seating. We ended up there for dinner and it was wonderful. Food was great, service was excellent, everything was perfect as our anniversary dinner. Was very happy with that. We decided to try something out and let dog sleep in bed with us. That was also a success.

Sunday - got up around 6 and loaded the car. We were home by 9:30 and settled into to take care of house stuff. Got bills situated, cleaned, did laundry and dishes, and settled back into our normal routine. A good way to end the long weekend.

Things of other note - the kid is coming to visit in October!! I used my expiring miles on her and got her a flight out here. She will come from Weds-Sun and spend some time. Very excited about that. The backyard is covered in walnuts and we have to clean that mess up as well. We ended up having pizza because we didn't want to cook. I have a busy work week ahead of me and C goes back to work tomorrow.

ANA Y3 D110

Time to head home. Full weekend recap tomorrow.

ANA Y3 D109

This has been quite the adventure so far. We've seen no art, but had lots of good food! Plenty of poutine. It's been tricky doing this with a dog but we're trying our best. She is doing her best too but she is a puppy. More when I get home.

ANA Y3 D108

Our anniversary is Sunday but we decided to exchange gifts last night. Mostly so we didn't have to bring them with us this weekend and so we didn't have to wait until we got home Sunday and we were too tired. In addition, C was bouncing off the walls to give me mine because she wanted me to have it this weekend. Okay. I am intrigued now. She went into the bedroom and came back out with something behind her back. My heart stopped when she revealed it to be a ring box. She bought me a ruby and diamon ring. According to her "it's not an engagement ring, but it's not NOT an engagement ring". That actually makes perfect sense to me. I understand what she means by that. I spent the next half hour crying. This is the first time truly in my life where someone has bought ME a ring that I in one way or another didn't pay for myself. She liked my gift but I couldn't come close to what she gave me. I am still giddy. 

We're heading out around noon today. Taking our time, enjoying Art Prize and having a wonderful 2 year anniversary. Where did the last two years go? If someone knows, please share it with me?

ANA Y3 D107

I massively overslept this morning. We were in bed by 11:30 but I just needed the sleep. I also didn't fully fall asleep until 1:30. I had a horrible dream which woke me up around 3, and then finally at 7:30am. Too late. i feel rushed and behind. Luckily doglet stayed asleep too. Just took her out and boy did she need it. 

I am very proud and impressed with how C handled herself yesterday. She went in to talk to the store manager about the issues and handled it like a professional. It sounds like her store manager felt the same way. From what she was telling me, not only did he offer her full time, it sounds like she may be offered an assistant manager position in the near future. Look, if C falls into a career at corporate as a result, there's nothing wrong with that. I honestly fell into what I do. I never sought it out, I never studied for it. It just happened and evolved over the years. If this is her path, then so be it. The end result is he gave her the rest of the week off to decompress and she will be back for her shifts on Monday. She's getting a much needed respite from things.

On another note, I have been thinking how her and I have been going to bed at different times lately. This is something new for us. Overall for the last two years we have been going to bed together. But because of doglet walks, we've been a little apart. This is much different than when B and I would go to bed separately. In this case, we both know it's temporary but we both hate it. Last night we did go at the same time and we were so happy. Obviously it still messed me up, but the joy we both had going to bed together was nice.

Tomorrow we leave for grand Rapids for our 2 year anniversary and art prize! An exciting weekend lies ahead!

ANA Y3 D106

As I anticipiated C's store manager called her yesterday. Asked her to come in, talk things through and see what they can do to not lose her. Basically he said she's one of the best workers they have and they don't want to lose her. She's going in today to talk to him about some of the issues He suggested she take a few days off to decompress and come back next week. i second this. I also told her to go in, talk to him, and explain why she has been so frustrated. Go back, keep a paycheck coming in, but continue to look for something else. We will see how this unfolds today.

We got the doggo stuff for this weekend's trip. Seatbelt harness. Better training leash. I am really nervous about taking her this weekend but C says it will be okay. I don't agree, but we will see. Had lefttovers for dinner last night as neither of us felt like cooking. Only two more days and we're out of town for Art Prize. It can't come quick enough.

ANA Y3 D105

Well, the shit hit the fan last night. After being pushed to the edge once more, abused by customers yet again, the final straw came last night at 9pm. C has quit her job. She was scheduled to be off at 9. At 8:50pm a cleaning crew shows up that was scheduled to do a deep clean of the freezerz, deli cases, and cold cases. Which needed to be empty. Which no one told C about. That is a multi-person, mult-hour job. She got home around 11pm. She managed to do it all in 90 minutes by herself. But that was it. That was the last straw of incompetent management. She left a note on the manager's desk, left her name tag, and was out. This of course fucks our household budget until she finds something new. We will figure it out. I always do, right?

ANA Y3 D104

Nothing exciting to report for yesterday. C worked from 6-3, me and dog had the house to ourselves all day. We spent a few hours outside, we went on an after dinner walk, watched some TV. I girlled tuna for dinner with a bunch of veggies. It was how a Sunday is supposed to be.

ANA Y3 D103

Yesterday was a hard day because of two things. One was news from a friend, the other the neighbors causing me to now feel unsafe in my own yard. Let's start with that.

I come home from my hair appointment to find the neighbors have gardeners working in their yard. I could see they were doing some trimming of the trees and foliage. I asked him to please be careful and not trim too much and not go over the property line. He acted like he understood. An hour or so later, I go outside and there is now NOTHING between our two yards. The worst part is they chopped down the other side so there is nothing between us and the fucking street. You can be walking down the street or driving by and see directly into our yard. I don't like that. There is absolutely zero privacy now. Nothing. We are fully exposed to the world. Anything in our backyard, anything we're doing is on full public display. I was so pissed off. I yelled at the gardener and their response "It will grow back", yeah in like 5 fucking years. I need out of here. I can't live around these fucking people any more. I filed a second complaint with HHS about them. They have medical patients in their care who now have ZERO protection if they go out in the yard. Plus they can now stare directly into our yard. I am tempted to put up a sign on my side of the property that says FUCK YOU. Fuck these people.

The other news was much bigger and puts my little yard issue into a much different context. The other day I invited my friend over to meet the doglet. She told me she'd love to but was dealing with an "incident" regarding her daughter. The use of that word set off alarm bells in my head. Pregnant? Drugs? Her daughter is 14. I didn't pry though. I respected her space and privacy. Yesterday when I went in to see her for my hair I was honest and said I don't want to pry but it's driving me nuts not to pry. She then broke down in tears and started losing it. The first thing she said was it was nice to not have to pretend everything is okay for the first time in weeks. Girl.

The "incident" started when the daughter came out of the shower and mom noticed a hickey on her neck. Thinking young teenage fun, she was like yo, what's that hee hee. Well the daughter freaked out and the WHOLE story came out. Turns out she has been seeing this MAN for months. She has been with a pedophile and sexual predator. They met online in January and for at least 6 months been meeting up for sex. The daughter swears she hasn't had sex but. This guy was driving from Chicago, the daughter sneaking out the bedroom window, then they would go to another town over to get a motel room and have sex. At least once a week. Now they are involved in a multi-county, multi-city, MULTI-STATE situation. Who has jurisdiction of what is becoming a nightmare. He had full on nude pictures of her on his phone so the local main police were able to get him on child porn charges. Sadly he was out in 24 hours on a bond. He has missed one court date so far. She knows where he lives and his name. I told her just tell me what you want done. We will make it happen. She doesn't know yet but knows that I am serious. You don't get to sexually assualt a 14 year old who thinks she's in "love" and get away with it. I was all over the map with my emotions when she was telling me all this. I offered her whatever she needs, whenever she needs it. 

Yeah, makes my foliage problem seem tame in comparison doesn't it?

ANA Y3 D102

Nothing eciting yesterday. Worked on some different things, met with my boss to plan out the rest of the month, had chinese food for dinner, went on a 2 mile walk, went to bed at a reasonable time. Had therapy. Was a good session. Got some stuff off my chest and shifted my perception of things bothering me back to a proper level, All in all, a good friday.

ANA Y3 D101

I overslept. I have therapy at 7:30. I was supposed to go to the grocery store. Can't now. Have to go later which sucks. I just can't do this anymore. Can't stay up so late and be up so early.

Worked on presentation, got it finished. Made salmon for dinner. Talked with friends. Watched tv. Went to bed at 11:30.

ANA Y3 D100

Wow. 100 days in. Been an adventure so far for sure. Life changes. New doggo. Divorce getting to finalization. The world around us going crazy. Never a dull moment on this planet eh? Spent the day dealing with the security thing. I eliminated every saved password for the bad email. Changed over the ones worth keeping, don't care about the rest. I had 130 accounts using that email. It was always meant to be a throwaway, just took me 15 years to actually throw it away. I have 3 things left using that email. Two of which I can't change. One I need to figure out how to change. I also discovered I still have an Apple ID and email. Go figure. I haven't used it in god knows how many years but it still exists. See this is the problem with computers. Nothing is truly ever gone, is it? Made chicken for dinner. Nothing exciting. Basic dinner. Watched TV. Played games. C and doglet went on a 2.5 mile walk. Gave me some alone time. She's off today finally and I should catch a break. But then I have all weekend where it's just me again. Sigh.

ANA Y3 D99

I went to bed at 10:30pm but was up at midnight because of an email. Seems someone was trying to get into my Microsoft account. I checked the recent activity and holy shit. From all over the world people were trying to brute force their way in. I need to spend some time today updating that account, changing the email, etc. I did change the password last night, but still. 

Spent the day working on my next client presentation. Had the fence people come over for an accurate measure and quote. $4500. Not horrible. I may move forward with that. We will see.

Made hot beef sandwiches for dinner. Nothing exciting. Watched some tv. C got her updated schedule and oh look, working the whole weekend AGAIN. Fucking tired of it. Just done with it.

ANA Y3 D98

Of course I wake up to asshole sending emails over a holiday. Of course. Well, guess what? You'll get a response during normal business hours, not before. Fuck them.

Mostly enjoyed my day off. Mostly. Tired of C's job. Not going to complain about the same shit yet again. Not worth it.

Had leftovers. Dealt with dog. Welcome to another week.

ANA Y3 D97

We finally all slept in!! I mean granted we didn't to go to bed until 12:30, but it was nice not waking up at 3am. I woke up at 6, she was still sound asleep so fell back to sleep for an hour. So nice.

Had a mellow day. Lots of outside time. Made lamb for dinner. Watched some tv. Today is a holiday and I don't plan on doing much today either.

ANA Y3 D96

Yesterday was rough. C had the stupid shit. 10:30-6:30. You all know how I feel when I have to teach that schedule. I spent the whole day dealing with dog. Spent more time outside than I have in the last six months. Then when C got home, Sandy missed her so much she was peeing in the house. Which frustrated C. She ended up going to bed at 8:30. I stayed up until midnight. Now she has to work again today 6-2. Plus tomorrow 2-9. I am not mad at her, but I am mad at her job. She needs to tell them this schedule doesn't work. Sigh. It's complicated. Made tacos for dinner.

ANA Y3 D95

Round 2 of presentations went well. 121 people showed up for this one. That means over a two day spread, out of 407 people invitied, 291 showed. Apparently from my insiders, the response was overwhelmingly postive. I will take that. I was stressed all day about it. Once it was over it was like a huge weight lifted. It's a holiday weekend and I plan on enjoying it as much as I can.

ANA Y3 D94

Remember the client I was bitching about yesterday? Woo boy did he cause major problems yesterday. This is the client I am doing monthly presentations for. I did one yesterday at 8am and another scheduled for today at 2pm. Well he sent no less than three emails explicitly saying what he wanted covered this month and I was not to deviate from his list and I'd better cover everything. Well, I did. Halfway through my presentation to 172 people, he unmutes and tells me to stop talking about certain topics. Huh?? Firts off you completely just fucked my flow up by unmuting and just talking. Second, huh? Turns out the CIO was in the background chewing his ass out for having me cover things that they will not be buying any time soon because the CIO doesn't want to spend money OR show end users anything that could possibly cost them money in the future. Seriously? For example, I am no longer allowed to mention system requirements in my classes because then users go and want better hardware than the shit he has been buying for them. The whole thing turned into a fiasco and him trying to dump the blame on me, me standing up for myself saying um, fuck you, and then me having to rework my whole presentation for today to remove all of the offending pieces. The sad thing? The users LOVED my material. Major kudos were given to me, sent to them, etc. Everyone fucking loved it. The problem is every time I do something for these people it immediately shows how woefully unprepared they are to do anything. Of course this makes me the enemy of IT, but the savior of the people. Go figure.

Another day of being a dog parent. One week to be exact. So much crazy. Can't believe it's been a week already. We went on two walks, made pasta for dinner, stayed up until midnight, up at 3am, back up again for our 6am. So tired but it's so worth it when she snuggles with us.

Time to pay bills.

ANA Y3 D93

Some people just don't think about other people. Especially clients who see people like me as toys they can just use at their whim. Remember the client who wanted me to go overseas for them? Here's what they thought was reasonable:

• Take cheapest flight from here to Singapore, arrive on a Sunday
• Teach Mon and Tues in Singapore
• Fly to Germany on Wednesday
• Teach Thurs and Fri in Germany
• Fly home redeye Friday

Like excuse you? It's a 12 hour flight from Singapore to Germany not even counting the time difference. Are you nuts? I would be woefully unprepared to teach. I need at least one day in each country to get my bearings let alone be prepared to be functional. Plus I am NOT flying economy for 40 hours total. Kiss my ass. We figured it out and flight costs alone will be 20-30k. Nope. There is NO REASON for this to be onsite if it's only 2 days in each country. Ridiculous.

So yeah that was my day. Fighting that. Dealing with a hyper dog. Spending the afternoon and evening alone. So fucking tired of everything.

ANA Y3 D92

Weather was horrible all day yesterday. In the evening we were sure that power was going to go out. C's mom and sister were under tornado watch and a tree ended up falling on her mom's house. No damage luckily, but scary and now they have to have the tree removed. B ended up with branches coming down on their cars and almost getting hit by one. They did end up losing power. Us of course has to take the dog to the vet and go outside for walks in it. Fun times. We did take baby to her first vet appointment. She did great. Got her first set of vaccinations and we got to ask the vet a thousand questions. We do love her so. She of course loved the doggo. Said she was in great health, no issues, and is on the slightly larger side for her breed. We go back in 3 weeks for her second set then in December we will have her spayed and chipped. Then we will be good until Feb. Ah, the joy of parenting. 

I worked on stuff for tomorrow's presentation. I have a good presentation put together if I do say so myself. Very impressed with how it turned out. I feel like I could use this for other things. I didn't want to try and cook last night because of the weather so we had burgers delivered. Went to bed at 10, C at midnight, and we skipped the 3am based on the doctor's advice. Thank god. She told us to wake up and see if she was asleep. If so, go back to sleep ourselves. 

C closes again tonight. Joy. But the weather is a little better today and shouldn't be raining.

ANA Y3 D91

Same shit different day. No sleep. Puppy is life. So tired. 

Worked on stuff for upcoming presentations. Had client change what they want so have to redo today. Leftovers for dinner as C worked until 9:30. Went to bed at midnight. Awake at 3. Next potty break at 6am. Going to vet today. Get shots and all sorts of fun stuff.

ANA Y3 D90

A little less tired today. Because I have to work, I went to bed at 10, C stayed up to do midnight, then woke up for 3am. I will do 6am, then she will do 9am and noon. Then she is off to work and I will do 3, 6, and 9. Rinse and repeat. This should only last another week or two. Baby is very smart. Smarter than some humans I know. We took her on a ride yesterday where she had some car sickness, but we're learning. She goes to the vet tomorrow. She got to meet B and play with Pip. Good for her to get out and about. We were gone for a good portion of the day. We spent time outside when we got back and did more leash training. A tiring but satisfying experience is being had all around. My roast came out nice. Was very happy with dinner.

ANA Y3 D89

Long days and long nights. But I signed up for this. I didn't sign up for C being at work so much. Well, I guess I did.

I wished my friend a happy birthday yesterday but in case he missed the text - Happy Birthday.

Not a whole lot going on outside of puppy work.

ANA Y3 D88

We are cronching some breakfast behind me right now. Little chomping noises are so cute. She is such the baby. We are on day two and doing good. No issues, no problems. Little whining last night when we went to bed and turned out the lights. Repitition and follow through are key. We were looking for mama last night when C went to work, but she was okay with me. Those two have bonded like crazy. I love it. I worked during the day, ordered BBQ for dinner as C closed. Same thing tonight. Overall it wasn't a super exciting day and that's okay.

ANA Y3 D87

It has happened. We are parents. Pic at the bottom. We got up stupid early yesterday, got in the car at 3:10am and headed to PA. The drive was easy and straightforward. Since we left so early we didn't hit any traffic at all. We got near our destination, a farm in the middle of rural PA, about 7:45. We had agreed on 8am and we didn't want to get there early but we also didn't want to stop anywhere. Sadly, the area we were in was full of political signs that caused our anxiety to go through the roof. We found a parking lot we could basically hide in for a few minutes. We arrived at the farm a little after 8 and got to meet the litter. All three of the pups were almost identical and the same level of energy. We went with the one who was just a little bit bigger and fluffier. We also got to meet her mom and dad. I never thought I would have a purebred dog but here we are. The opportunity was just too good. It was as I suspected and Amish or Mennonite farm. Very nice people. They had a little general store, cows, chickens, etc. Was truly a working farm. Got everyone situated in the car and within the first 10 minutes she shit and puked. We're parents now clearly. We stopped at a local dollar general and loaded up on supplies. The next 4 hours were very long. We stopped periodically to let her out to pee and get used to being amongst people. We finally got home around 3pm and set in to get the house situated. We also have intituted a 3 hour pee schedule to get her trained. Yes, we have been up every 3 hours. I am about to do the 6am in a minute. Just until she is trained. She lived in a barn and never in a house. She is the perfect baby. I got her vet appointment lined up for next week to have a microchip impanted and to get her looked over. It's been a long 24 hours, but I am happy as fuck.

Here is the baby. Meet Sandy.

ANA Y3 D86

Up and ready to leave in an hour. Life may change once again for me in 4 hours. Let's see what happens.

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. We put gas in the car, we went to the pet store to buy basics, we went to the bank. We had indian for dinner. Went to bed at 7:45. I didn't fall asleep until 10, so I am functioning on about 3.5 hours of sleep. Wonderful.

ANA Y3 D85

Something may be on the horizon.We are going to PA tomorrow morning. We found some dogs we are interested in. It's a 4 hour drive but we may be adding to our family tomorrow. No details until we see what happens.

Spent the day working together with my boss on some stuff. Was a good working session. Made meatball subs for dinner. Watched some tv.

ANA Y3 D84

Was up too late again.Its because poor C didn't get home until almost 10pm. So by the time we got into bed it was nearly midnight. I spent the day doing admin stuff for work. Setting up students for an upcoming training class, answering emails. Work in on the horizon. Just need to make it until September. Had leftovers for dinner. Not much else going on.

I did have a doctor appointment yesterday. That's worth mentioning. I got my lab results back in the morning. Everything looked good. They managed to get me in at 4:15 yesterday afternoon. We talked about all my numbers and we're upping my progesterone but otherwise, no changes. I may be fat, but I am healthy at least.

ANA Y3 D83

Boring day. Got C off to work at 5:45 and decided to go back to bed. Slept from 6:30 until 8. Made some french toast. Cleaned the house and waited for her to get off work. Made swordfish for dinner. That's about it. Not much else to report. Another week ahead of me.

ANA Y3 D82

We had a really fun day yesterday. Left the house around 8:30 and got to Frankemuth a little before 10. It started raining which did prove to be sucky later in the day, but we handled it as well as we could. We went to the bakery where we got some treats and bread. Then we went to the slipper store and I got my first real pair of Minnetonka slippers. They are SO comfy. Hopefully these will last me a long ass time. We then went to the outlet mall where we had a less than stellar experience. The outlets we went to kind of suck. Lot of white trash people and to be honest not that good of deals. The weather wasn't helping. It was raining but 80 and sticky and bleh. It was making stores uncomfortably hot and everyone just was cranky. We got out of there as quickly as possible. We then headed to our next destination where we had really good pizza. We hung out with one of C's friends for a while and headed home. We got home around 5pm and had grilled cheese. We just hung out the rest of the night and it was nice. No plans for today. Might actually go back to bed for a while.