ANA Y2 D65

Tried to go out and find a decent croissant yesterday. I hate this area. I just wanted a croissant. Went to three different bakeries and couldn't find one. The worst part is I had to drive everywhere. I couldn't just walk downtown and come back. Nope. I had to fucking drive with all these idiots all over multiple towns just to come home empty handed. Bleh.

Didn't do much else. Played video games. Did some yardwork. Made dinner. Watched TV. So begins another week. Soon I will be leaving for my first onsite in 3 years. God help me.

ANA Y2 D64

My head hurts, I slept like shit, and I am cranky. I hate AC. I hate it with a passion. I can't sleep with it on. I can't breathe. I was up and down all night.

Spent most of the day in the kitchen. Made shortbread bars, made dinner, cleaned up after all that. Multiple friends came over. One to get cans, one to get shortbread, one to have dinner. We had a social day and it was draining as fuck. I need to be quiet today.

ANA Y2 D63

Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions. Went to the store in the morning because we hated the mouthwash we got recently and I couldn't go another day with it. I know that's dumb but dental health is a priority in 2023 and I want to keep it up. Got back home and worked until about 2. Then I started a roast for dinner tonight. All fine and dandy, no issues. Then B messaged me. Uh oh, what now?? SHE HAD A JOB INTERVIEW! On Tuesday and in-person and it is sounding pretty solid! It's an accounts payable job at an RV center. An actual job in their actual field that I paid for them to study! My investment is paying off. Yeah, small victory I know. But one that I will take. Hopefully if they get this and start immediately, in a month or two they will take over their bills, we file for divorce, and before the end of the year, it's all done. I go into 2024 single and only responsible for myself. Please sacrifice any chickens, goats, or babies you might have on hand to make this a reality. I also started ripping out ceiling tiles in the basement because the fly situation is getting worse. I was covered in ceiling shit and had to clean myself up.

We had a friend call and ask if they could come over as they didn't want to be sitting at home alone. Of course. But then we had to scramble to straighten up. That was one of the plans for today and well, at least that's done. Of course as I said, I also had to clean me up. Fun. At the same time, our other friend who is coming over tonight, confirmed that he is probably out of a job come monday morning. What the hell people? Well our first friend comes over and I make us meatball sandwiches for dinner. Leftover girl champion thank you very much. While cooking though I discover ANTS. Yay. So much fun. Woo. I take care of that, while cooking mind you, and we somehow go through two bottles of wine. We sit, we chat, we have a nice night.

Wrapped up around 10, went to bed. Let's see how today goes.

ANA Y2 D62

GOOD MORNING TRI STATE AREA!! WOO!

Yeah, I'm feeling good today. No particular reason. Just happy to be alive and functional. Nothing wrong with that, is there? Seriously. Nothing exciting happened. Nothing has changed. But you know what? I'm okay. I will survive because I have to survive. I don't have any other choice. I will get through the hard times and come out the other side. I must. It's not an option. 

Worked all day. Made pasta and meatballs for dinner. Went grocery shopping around 8pm so I didn't have to go this morning. Stopped for Dairy Queen. Watched some tv. Went to bed. Today I have an afternoon session, have to get a roast in the oven at 3pm. Have three days of teaching next week then I need to prep for my onsite trip. Very nervous about that but it is what it is. I will survive that too. Because it's what I do people.

ANA Y2 D61

A happy birthday to X2. Yeah, I still remember. I hope they are doing well.

Another day killer for me. Worked until almost 7, made burgers for dinner, watched tv, had some naked time fun. Went to bed. Not much else going on. I haven't left the house in 5 days but I also haven't spent any money. Happy about that part of things. Trying my best over here. Doing what I can do.

Today I teach from 10-5. Whee.

ANA Y2 D60

Day killer. That's what they call the hours I work this week at C's work. You must have pissed someone off, you got the day killer shift. They are 100% on the money with that. 11 to fucking 7 yesterday, same today. What did I do yesterday? Nothing. Taught until it was time to cook dinner, ate, watched tv, went to bed. Not much else to do when you're working the day killer shift. C is off today and I am letting her sleep as late as she wants. She earned it. There's a big difference between a partner who's worked hard and is relaxing versus a partner who does nothing and yet still can't get out of bed before 1pm. Hmm. Interesting. 

ANA Y2 D59

It's amazing how much lighter I feel with the news that stupidhead is finally moving forward. The light at the end of the tunnel is growing larger and it just might not be a train after all. It might be the way out. Also it took a full goddamn week but I think the cat is showing signs of turning around as well. Her appetite is back, she is being vocal again, and so far, so far, there haven't been any blood pee pools. So who knows, is it possible I once again survived?

We've been watching fringe and we're on season 4 where the two universes have pretty much come together. It makes you think about the choices you've made and how you might be different based on just one little thing. What if I hadn't married X1? What if I had transitioned sooner? You can't play what if without getting frustrated, but it does make you ponder.

C worked from 6-12 yesterday and today, I did busy work yesterday but teach 11 to fucking 7 today. Whee. Horrible time slot. I fucking hate it. Tomorrow is the same. Then 10-6 on Thursday. Fuck this week. Not for any other reason than that. I am two weeks away from going to WI. Very nervous about it but also excited because I can be back on the road.

Time to get ready. Only 5 1/2 hours until class starts.

ANA Y2 D58

Ladies and gentleman, a fucking miracle has happened. B has finished fucking school, got their certification, and has started applying for jobs. PLUS they are going to start doordashing to bring in money until they get something in bookkeeping. I am awake, right? Pretty sure I am awake. Maybe this is the part of my coma where things level out. We shall fucking see.

I took most of a day off yesterday. C did as much as she could without my intervention. It was more than I could have asked for to be honest. She made me breakfast, did the dishes, took care of shit. The only thing I really I had to do was help her with dinner. She mad spinach gnocchi soup and struggled with the pasta a bit. I helped out and made sure the pasta got in the soup. She was getting very frustrated. I didn't want her to think I was taking over because I was proud of her for even trying something she'd never done before. The soup turned out wonderful. I liked it. I know she had a rough time of it, but I still think she did great.

Teach multiple days this week shitty times, C has to work and is getting ready now. Let another week of this shit commence. Woo.

ANA Y2 D57

Want to know what I learned yesterday? People sure are fucking nosey, judgmental, and fast to assumption. Here's a little reminder for you all, social media only tells part of the fucking story. Mind your own goddamn business. 

Yes, I did go to the hair salon yesterday. But guess what??I didn't fucking pay for it. Yes, I am broke beyond belief but what you don't know is that my stylist and I worked out a fucking barter deal. So go fuck yourselves. Oh and the food I am making? That's me thanking past me for having the hindsight to fill the freezer when she could to make sure that present me has fucking food in the house. I went shopping Friday at goddamn Walmart and spent $50 on 10 days worth of sides and veggies. $50. That's what I allowed our budget for almost two weeks of food. Oh and my gf works at a goddamn grocery store now and we get a discount on food. So again, mind your own fucking business. 

Went to the salon, visited C at work, cleaned the house, did laundry, changed the sheets, played pokemon, made fajitas for dinner, made crepes for dessert, watched tv, went to bed. Nothing on the agenda for today except we plan on making gnocchi soup. With potatoes. Potatoes that cost next to nothing. Is that okay with some people??

ANA Y2 D56

I don't really have anything to say.

Worked.

Ate.

Went to bed.