ANA Y4 D328

Silence.What if all this was job and stress related? What if it goes away now that I am starting this new job? How messed up is that?

 Had therapy yesterday. Got to share my happy news. Managed to get a walk in before it started raining. Went to have pizza with a friend to celebrate my new job but sadly the place was packed with a line out the door. Ended up at one of our favorite ramen places instead. Had a good time.

Standard Saturday chores today. With the added bonus of packing for next week. Only two more days!! 

ANA Y4 D327

Mostly silent. A little residual but nothing unbearable.

Paid all the bills last night. That was it. We would not have made it any longer. I have $1k coming from unemployment to help me on the 8th when I only get a half check, but I need a paycheck coming in. This was down to the wire. But we did it. We didn't argue. We didn't freak out either.

I was just having the weirdest dream. Elevators, schools, being late, cars - all recurring themes in my dreams. Anxiety about starting a new job? Anxiety about everything? Maybe. Desire to change? Probably. Desire to be free? Definitely.

Last three days of being irresponsible. Woo. 

ANA Y4 D326

As expected, silence. Hit yesterday. This is what keeping track of data allows - pattern recognition. If I can see the pattern I can learn to live with it? Maybe?

Dog of course stopped limping. She was fine all day because why wouldn't she be? I also learned yesterday that when a new hire starts it triggers a bunch of automated emails. So people already know about me and are asking questions. But the upside is I found out I am getting an office!! I was prepared for cubicle life, but nope, I get an office with a small window! On the negative, apparently new hires pictures and bios are put on TVs all around the different buildings. I am less thrilled about that. They're only supposed to stay up for like a month but some stay up longer if there's nothing new to bump them off. I do not want to walk around and see my face everywhere. I am used to being invisible. The name spoken in whispers. Now? Front and damn center. Okay. We will make it work.

I also did some deep dive research yesterday on what to do with my lease. Bottom line? I am keeping my car. I am going to put a ton of miles on it in the next six months but then nothing. But the real issue is there is nothing comparable in my price range that makes it worth it. No hybrid big enough. No crossover with the same features cheap enough. The only one that comes close is a Volvo which doesn't get that much better gas mileage AND prices out to $62k. For a Volvo!! I will just keep mine for the next 10 years and be happy. Smart thing to do.

I mowed the front yard yesterday morning. We're the only house in the immediate section with a fresh mow. Ha! Everyone else looks raggedy except ours. Take that neighbords! Might do the back today. Spent a good deal of time outside too. Just sitting in the sun. Oh how I have missed you sun. 

ANA Y4 D325

Head is still screaming, dog is still limping. Not happy. I took her to the vet yesterday and got an all clear but then she started limping again in the evening. I left a message at the vet. We shall see. Five more days and I start my new job!

ANA Y4 D324

Still screaming. I had expected it to break today. Hmm. The pattern is one day off. Interesting.

Got my final confirmation of hire yesterday. I am officially an employee! My new boss is also putting a blurb about me in the "Engineering Newsletter". WTF? There are so many things I am going to have to get used to again working in office and in a real company. No more just being a whispered name in the dark. People will like want to talk to me. Ew. I sent my no thank you emails to two other companies yesterday. That felt pretty good. No thanks, I have a job! Take that suckers!

Did laundry. Made vet appointment for her paws. Dealt with work. Made salmon for dinner. Few more days of peace then it's back to the grind for 3650 days of my life. 

ANA Y4 D323

Been up and going at it for a while now. New boss sent me email over weekend apologizing for not getting back sooner. He confiirmed a few things and I am glad I read it. There's a discrepancy in the start date. HR wants Tuesday 4/28, he wants Monday 4/27. He will get back to me soon. He also told me they are getting me a 27" 4k monitor, a work phone, and they offer a $150 shoe credit for the floor through Grainger!! I sent off a reply to him, turned down the other two interviews, and am now waiting for a week. 

Took doggo outside. She isn't limping any more but I still want vet to check her. Waiting for their phone call. They don't open until 9am sadly. 

I just quickly looked at Grainger's site. Holy crap! So many choices of cute work boots and shoes!! I am so excited.

New pans will be here by Wednesday. This should be a good week. Head still screaming though. Oh well. 

ANA Y4 D322

Scream. Pattern holding.

Quiet day. C is working ALL weekend so we didn't do much. Add to it that it's raining and well, not much going on. Doggo is still hurt. I called the vet to see her this week. Did laundry. Cleaned. Played games. 

ANA Y4 D321

I think I will rename starting in the new year. This chapter is over. Oh, still screaming btw. If the pattern holds, I should be silent tomorrow. Let's see.

Well here's another twist; at 4:48pm I got a request for another interview at another company. When it rains, it pours. I didn't decline because I haven't received 100% go from Dart yet. I don't think anyone was in the office yesterday to reply. I am hoping I hear back from them on Monday. Then I will cancel my Tuesday, decline this other one, and look forward to starting.

We had some drama last night. Doggo had a small piece of glass in her paw pad. She was limping. We were able to rinse it out but now she's on medical watch. No running, no rough housing. If she isn't improved by Monday, off to the vet we go. As long as we don't see blood or pus coming out of it, we can wait until then. However if when she gets up this morning I see anything, then I will take her somewhere today. Fun eh?

Other than dog drama, there shoudn't be anything on my plate today. Laundry, cleaning and typical Saturday stuff is the agenda. 

ANA Y4 D320

Scream.

I wasn't feeling good last night. I fell asleep at like 7:30pm. Got back up at 9 to brush my teeth and went right back to bed. My stomach is all crampy. Plus I was feeling exhausted. I think the rush of the last few days finally caught up with me. 

I did my drug test yesterday. As of 1pm the online portal showed everything as complete for background. I am going to email this morning and make sure we are green light for me to start on the 28th. If I get a positive response, then I can relax for 10 days. No more job hunting, no more stressing. I just need a final confirmation. I will still apply to two more jobs so I can claim one last round of unemployment. That $1000 buffer will hold me until I can get my first paycheck at Dart. 

Made tuna for dinner. Doing lamb shwarma tonight.  

ANA Y4 D319

Scream, which doesn't make sense. Or at least it continues to rule out mental? Why because I really have nothing to be stressed about. At 9:40am yesterday I got an email from HR asking if they could call me. Um duh? Now the fact they wanted to call was positive. If they couldn't meet my number at all, they would have just sent an email. Either they met my number OR they got close and were going to sell me on the company. Well guess what? They met my number baby!

They re-tiered the position to make it "Staff Engineer" which according to my internal contact is the highest non-reporting level one can get before moving to a manager with reports role. He is very excited because it also means he gets the max referral bonus of $2k. Good for him!! I spent the day doing paperwork. Took care of all my onboarding. Submitted the background check. All that's left is the drug test this morning at 8am. I am leaving soon for that. Once that is done and both the background and drug come back clean, I am officially a new hire! My start date will be 4/28. Which means that I get about 11 days where I have no stress or worries. I am going to still apply for jobs so I can claim unemployment for these last two weeks off. That will be some bridge money in case I don't get a full paycheck for a while. Plus I will still have about $3000 in savings. 

I am not worried about the drug but who knows what will come up in the background. Nothing I hope, but again, who knows? I just want a green light. I do have a second round interview with The Hartford next week but if everything looks good, I may cancel it. While they will pay more money, we talked about it last night and the truth is, I would probably be bored. I have spent the last six years stuck in this house. Do I really want to keep that up? Do I really want to deal with insurance reporting for the next 10 years? Over time I will get where I want with salary because now I will be at a company that does actual merit increases. It will take 1-2 years to beat my past salary and 5 to beat Hartford, but so what? At least along the way I will be having fun. Plus we need to move. This is the path to us moving. We get out of this house and into something smaller that's ours not mine. 

Please send all the good vibes, prayers, magic, and voodoo that nothing disrupts this.