Still the same on all fronts.
We did get something nice yesterday. Chewy sent us flowers for Merlot. Very sweet and unexpected. Customer service at its best.
Tried a new burger place. It was really good. Made chicken sandwiches for dinner. Watched some tv.
Nothing going on. Another week, no interviews. Time to apply to more jobs. It was cold as hell again yesterday. Currently 15 outside. Getting real tired of this weather. Time change next week. That will be annoying. We played games yesterday. Hung out. Played with dog. Watched TV. Tried some new shows. A quiet weekend day. Now it's back to trying to find a job.
Still screaming. Welcome to March.
They dropped off Merlot yesterday. Of course when C got home and saw it she lost her shit. That was fun. We had pizza. Watched the end of Fallout. Let's see where this is going in season 3. Which will be in 2027 assuming we're all still here.
Cleaned the house. Like deep cleaned. Nothing else going on.
Head's screaming. All week,
Little better yesterday. C only broke down twice. Worst was when they called to let us know her ashes will be delivered tomorrow. That killed her. We did go on a walk finally. That was nice. We watched some tv and she was so exhausted she slept on the couch from 8-11. I played games.
Not much better around here. Day three of screaming. Still breaking down randomly. I broke down over a damn web page yesterday because I had to cancel Merlot's chewy autoship. Fuck me.
Had a good meeting with career coach. She's updating my resume even more. Have it back to me this weekend.
No plans for today or the weekend.
Not doing much better around here right now. C is still breaking down any time she sees something that reminds her. She stayed home yesterday because she wasn't ready to deal with work shit yet. I get that. She's trying her best but it's hard. That was her companiion for 11 years. You don't forget that overnight. Applied for more jobs. Cleaned the house. Not much else going on.
We prepared for the worse but we still weren't prepared enough. Our sweet baby is gone. My fears and initial assessment were sadly correct. She had a stroke which was due most likely to a blood clot. It caused her to lose neuro function to her lower half. Her bladder and colon were severely full and impacted. This is why she was leaking urine all over. Even if we had "fixed" that in the immediate, it would have happened again and again because she couldn't control those parts of her body. We had to make the devastating decision based on her quality of life. C was destroyed. I was destroyed. It was gut wrenching and one of the hardest things either of us has ever had to do. If I start thinking too much right now, I am going to break down again. The rest of the day was basically a blur. This is the first time in nearly 30 years there hasn't been a cat in this house. It's weird. I cleaned up everything after we got home so C wouldn't have to do it. It was hard for me, but it would have been worse for her. I don't know what else I can say right now. Let's hope it hurts less today. Rest well sweet baby.
Silence still.
We couldn't get merlot in yesterday. She is cognitive, but not eating, peeing everywhere, and she has lost most use of her back legs. We are going in about 6 hours to the vet. We're hoping for a solution but prepping ourselves for worse case outcome.
Sunday we headed out around noon. On the way C realized she forgot her ear plugs. We stopped at a guitar center on the route. It gave us a chance to explore an area just outside downtown that we both found acceptable. Adds more options when we are ready to move. Got to the hotel a little before three. Because it was a Sunday in Feb, it was dead as a doornail. We got a nice suite on the top floor. Around 4 we went and had an early dinner. Sadly it was snowing all day and it was bitter cold. At 6:15 we walked over to the venue. Poor C was dying from the cold. We got there at 6:45, went straight in. The merch line was insane so we found our seats and then I went back to merch during the opening act. I got her a hoodie for the walk back. Made all the difference in the world. The venue is smaller than than the last one by about half. Even though we were only one row closer on paper, it felt like we were right on top of the stage. It was awesome. Show was incredible. He changed the playlist up slightly from last time too which was cool. Show let out around 10:45 and we walked back. C was wide awake. We found a late night cafe and drove to get a snack around 11:45. Got back to the hotel at 12:30, slept until 4:30 and headed home. The whole time we were stressed and worried about Merlot.
Picked up the dog, took care of things at home, and then she went back to sleep for a few hours. I alas did not. We didn't feel like cooking because of everything and had Korean BBQ for dinner last night. Went to bed at 8:30 as we're up at 4:30 again. She's going into work early allowing her to leave early to meet us at the vet.
Please keep Merlot in your thoughts and send good vibes.
Incredible night. Day two of silence. Merlot is not doing well. Waiting for call from vet. More tomorrow.
Silence. Thank god.
Merlot is not doing better. I am really worried. Concert tonight. But it's being overshadowed by Merlot. I am worried we will come home to a deceased cat. FUCK.
