Scream
Applied to five more jobs yesterday. One I really want. 3 have rejected me so far out of 15 applied. That's 20%. Still means I have an 80% chance of finding something. Will start work with the counselor people on Monday. Still no car. No update either which pisses me off. Hair appointment today.
Still screaming. I had about 3 hours of respite yesterday but otherwise same ol.
Had my new crown put on yesterday. Feels so much better than the temp one did. Still sore, but the texture feels so much better. I was lazy yesterday. Just did some networking and that's it. I have access to the career counselor now and will message them on monday. I am just starting to feel helpless so I need to get through this weekend. Hopefully I will be back on it mentally after a couple of days.
Didn't feel like cooking last night. Had sushi delivered. We still have our discretionary fund luckily. Should still have 4-500 for the concert in a couple of weeks.
Still scream
Another 4 jobs applied for. No responses.
Have dentist this morning. Then back at it. Still no car.
Scream.
I applied to four jobs yesterday. Will do at least that today too. Nothing to do but wait. I should hear from the career counselor today. I should also get my check soon. C's car should be ready on Friday. Lots of sitting and waiting right now. Driving me insane obviously. C is sick and is staying home. This is our life now.
Okay, my head is back. Which of course leads to the question of "Why?". What did I do different last night that I didn't do the previous nights? What did I eat? Need to figure this out.
I was productive yesterday. Signed my term papers to get my severance check rolling. You know, this is the first time I have been laid off where my check wasn't ready to go. So fucking weird. Regardless, it's in the works and I should get it next week. That's fine by me. I also applied for unemployment. It's not a lot, but it can go straight into savings and buy me some buffer. It's 25% of my salary. Oh well. It's money. I also reached out to six old clients letting them know I was available. Three replied indicating that they might have some contract work for me. I also expanded my linkedin network by five people and directly touched base with them. Lastly, I directly applied for two jobs. I plan on applying for 2-3 more today. At least 10 a week minimum. I was going to do more, but the unemployment office needs to see regular applications so I don't want to shoot my shot all at once. I will keep on keeping on.
Made char siu pork last night. Came out pretty good to be honest. Did it with a steam bath to keep it nice and moist. Still no update on C's car. I am hoping to hear something today or tomorrow. This cold is still kicking my butt a little. Throat is better but am made purely of snot right now.
Time to do morning stuff and apply for jobs.
Still silent. A little blip yesterday for two hours, but otherwise, all good. Again, let's be honest. This all started in Jan of 25 when I was told my job would be on the line. Ever since then I have been struggling. Now that is gone and oh look, my head is clearning up. What a fucking shock.
I have been up for a while. I took care of signing my final term papers and applied for unemployment. It's going to be 25% of my salary so that's going straight to savings every week. At the very least I will build up a buffer in my savings over the next three months. My goal for this week is to apply to at least 5 jobs per day. That's 100 jobs in Feb. All I need is one. I am also going to be working my network. Today's other goal is to reach out to old customers and see if they have something for me. I figure it won't hurt and it keeps my network going.
We didn't do much of anything yesterday. This cold is kicking my butt. I had no energy yesterday. 10 years ago if I felt like this I would be like "oh it's a cold no big deal". Now though I have to worry if it's covid or if it will turn worse because I am old and the world sucks. We did go to the store last night and got tea, juice, soup, and nyquil. I will kick it.
Off to send emails and apply for jobs. Wish me luck!!
It came back yesterday, but am silent now. But I now have a cold. My throat is killing me. My nose is stopped up. I can't win can I?
Did laundry, made dinner, had no energy. Went to bed at 9 with nyquil in me. Need more.
Still silent. We all know it was my job, right?
Yesterday was a bit surreal. I had my final 1 on 1 at 1pm but until then, there was really nothing for me to do. Like nothing. It was during this time I recently how workplace institutionalized I am. What do you mean I don't have to open outlook or teams? What do you mean I don't have to put timesheets in? Monday is going to be very weird. I have had the same routine, even when "off" for a long fucking time.
I had therapy in the morning and got to work through some of my feelings. The biggest of course is anger. Anger at myself. Anger for not being in a better position where I didn't have to go back to work for a while. I get C's feelings of being trapped. I don't want to keep doing what I have been doing, but I don't have a choice. Period. I am not sad about losing my job. My job isn't the definition of who I am. It was and always will be a means to an end. But I am mad. I am mad that once more I am starting over.
C was in a better mood too. She needed to get all that off her chest on Thursday and it helped. I think we're both in a better place to move forward.
Still riding the rollercoaster, but at least my head is quiet. Progress?
The dealer called again yesterday. While having the car in the shop to change the tires, another vehicle hit a patch of ice and hit the car. I know. Now they have to replace the bumper and it won't be ready until next week. Seriously. BUT they did give us a loaner. At least we are a two car household again. C hates the car they gave her but I don't care. It's a car. I don't have to drive her any more. We will get her actual car when we get it. She is losing it. This is too many things at once for her. For me, it's life as usual sadly. Got my final paycheck. Have to pay bills this morning. Next week I get my severance. Going straight into savings. Did some networking yesterday. Hopefully Feb will be my month.
Scream.
Well, yesterday was a rollercoaster to say the least. In the morning I went down to take care of the car. I walked in pre-approved for 60 months at 7.84. The manager saw that and was confident he could beat. He said if you're at least 700, I can beat that by a point. Well, turns out I am 730 and he beat it by a point and a half. I got the car out the door for 17,600 at 6.34%. Not too bad. I put 2,000 down giving C a payment of $300 a month. Took about three hours, but we got it done. During final inspection they found an issue with one of the tires not matching the others and one that was borderline tire wear. They're replacing the two ties and we're picking it up tonight. At least one thing will be resolved. So that was my morning...
At 4:30pm I was officially laid off. The effective date is 2/2 and that's when I will get my severance check. I get three months cash, three months insurance, and three months paid career counseling. Okay, I will take it. I am both scared and relieved to be honest. With unemployment and severance I should be good for about 4 months. On Monday I will look in earnest for something new. Right now, I just want to get through the next few days without losing my mind.
C is of course stressed. I don't blame her. I will figure it out. I have to. Failure is not an option. Death sadly is not an option.
