Still screaming.
On the positive side, the weather is nice. We went on a three mile walk yesterday. Went out for fro-yo. Pulled out the blackstone for dinner. Something to be happy about. Did laundry. C had a hair appointment. Was a decent day except for my head.
Back to screaming. I had a full 24 hours of silence. It was beautiful. But alas, here we are again.
Did laundry. Took dog for walk. Made a pork tenderloin for dinner.
Silence.
For once I have real things to share. Had a fun time outside the house last night. We took a friend to K-pot for dinner. It wasn't horribly busy either which was nice. After dinner we came back here for cake and socializing. Was good to interact and have time away. Before we left though I got an email from yet another company wanting to do an interview next week. Nice way to end the week for sure! This means I now have three BIG companies interested in me. I can do this. I can make it. I have to make it.
Silence.
Couldn't sleep. Went to bed around 10:30, got up 11:45, stayed up until 1:45. Did bills. Sat around all day stressed and waiting. This is my life and it's ending one minute at a time.
Scream.
Interview went well but...
They are a huge, old company. There will be at least two more rounds of interviews plus a case study round. Which means this will take weeks. I don't have weeks. I am running out of options. I am running out of money. It's a really good fit too. It's a perfect role for me. I just don't know if I can wait them out.
Made salmon for dinner. Whee.
Scream. Which really sucks because I have another interview this morning. I was doing my daily applications and I applied for a job at The Hartford. Within two hours they had reached out for an interview. This is a job right up my alley. Something to get excited about. Director level, fully remote, solid company. I do not want to make a bad first impression. I have got to push down everything going on in my head. I need this fucking job. Like now.
Scream. It kicked back in around 10am yesterday and hasn't stopped. The mental dread of another monday? The impending doom on the horizon?
We had a slow morning and then headed to C's sister's around 1. Got there a little after 3 as we had to stop twice for the dog. Hung out until 8pm and got home around 10. It was a quiet time just visiting. Nothing exciting.
Please send me all the good vibes this week. I need them.
Still quiet. Last night I went to go to bed around 11pm and realized I just wasn't tried yet. Instead I ended up staying up until 1:30am. Best decision ever. I slept HARD and solid. I think that's why silence. Sleep is the one definable factor in all this.
Had hair appointment yesterday. Did laundry. Made chili cheese dogs for dinner.
Visiting C's family later in the day.
Silence. Bless. I am noticing a trend in severity. I can almost predict when the silence will come. More data points are needed but I might have some additional clues.
Didn't do much yesterday. Binged a TV show C doesn't care about.
Hair appointment today.
