Silent so far.
It was bad all day and night yesterday. Screaming loud.
I learned something yesterday. My stepfather is dead. He died Jan of 25. Very weird. I am still processing how I feel knowing he is finally dead.
Made great progress on my work yesterday. I get to show it off today and am very excited. Hopefully it will be well received.
Made salmon for dinner. Took dog for LATE night walk because it was 90 all day. Didn't get enough sleep as a result, but oh well.
Two more days.
BAD screaming today. Don't know why.
Did a bunch of little stuff around the house. Chased two old asian ladies out of the yard stealing berries. Made little chickens for dinner.
Still silent.
With the exception of a brief window yesterday I managed to keep my head quiet all day. We went to a trading card expo yesterday at the convention center and there was about an hour where the noise was getting to me but I put in my loops and by the time we left I was doing okay. We went for our friend who lives and dies by his Pokemon collection. He has over 20k in cards. He managed to get 15 new cards without spending a single dollar. All on trades. He even got me one. A rare one of one of my favorite characters. We came back to our place after, had taco bros for dinner, watched Hokum, and then I went live for three hours. Went to bed around 11. Sadly Cat has to work today because she took yesterday off. No big plans for me. But hey, only three days next week and then we enter the birthday zone!!
Silence so far.
Worked on stuff. Read docs. Streamed. Made dinner. Applied for a consolidation loan. Still waiting to hear back.
Scream still
No respite from it this time. Just constant. I am so tired of it. I just want a break.
Worked on my revisions. Sent them over. Caught up with my old boss. Made chicken tikka for dinner. Went to the store. Recorded content.
Scream
Was productive yesterday. Got the next rev of my model and outputs ready to send over to the reviewers. I will do that around 9 or 10 this morning. Wasn't feeling well and just had a grilled cheese for dinner. Went to bed kind of early as I was falling asleep on the way home from work yesterday. Monday really screwed me up and I haven't fully recovered. Less than a week until I am off for my bday and one week until my next tattoo! Steam summer sale starts today at 1pm. Maybe some good stuff coming.
Scream
Yesterday turned into a bad scream too. I did make my hearing test appointment for July 6th. I also did some research into CIC and IIC hearing aids. Invisible, tiny, pink noise generation. Maybe I will sove this. Maybe.
Worked. Had leftovers for dinner. Went to bed.
Silent.
Yesterday was long, interesting, boring, scary, and good all at once. I left here at 5am, got to the airport a little after 6. It was raining pretty hard and the flight was not easy. The plane was small, hot, and bumpy. It was nice not flying commercial, but boy oh boy not glamorous at all. We spent about 6 hours at the plant. Very cool to see the whole process like I did, but in reality we spent about an hour on the floor, the rest in a conference room shooting the shit. I didn't get home until 6:30pm. Made for a really long day. And now I have to drive right back in. Sigh.
Two weeks until my birthday. 10 or so days until I get some time off.
Still quiet. Don't jinx me.
Mowed the lawn. Did more laundry. Cleaned house. Recorded videos. Calm day.
Off to the airport. Going to KY today. In the rain. In a tiny plane.
Silence
Yesterday was better. Not great, but better. I got a lot accomplished. Dog to the groomer, grocery store, more laundry, cleaning, did a 4 hour live stream, made fajitas for dinner. Got the dog new elevated beds. She's been sleeping on the floor and it looks like it's hurting her joints. So we got her new beds to relieve her soreness. She is better this morning after just one night. Tomorrow I am off to KY. Bed early tonight.
Still screaming
Why don't people around here actually respond to emails? I have sent three in the past week to different people and today is Friday with ZERO responses. Very annoying.
Worked. Went to the store at lunch which was a mistake. The infrastructure in this area just isn't built for the sheer number of people that live here. Too many people and not enough road. The store was fine, the drive there and back was pure hell. Just too many people.
Made burgers for dinner. Streamed. Went to bed.
Back to screaming.
Even though my head has been on and off all week, it was a pretty productive week. I have moved forward with my stuff, did some social engineering, felt accomplished. Just have to deal with my damn head. I keep trying to make an appointment for a hearing test but people around here seem to be incompetent when it comes to emailing.
Got paid early because tomorrow is a federal holiday. Now I can pay bills. Whee.
Made chicken for dinner. Went live on stream. Went to bed.
Silence so far.
Yesterday morning SUCKED. I knew it was inevitable but I finally got stuck in traffic. A semi overturned at 3am blocking the entire freeway. Took me 2 hours almost to get to work yesterday. I had to go 20 miles out of my way and take back roads in. I was so annoyed when I arrived. Luckily the day got better. I fixed my model and made progress. Only 55 home. Made chicken for dinner. Went to bed.
Still screaming.
Was productive at work despite my head. Got more tables added to my prototype, got my access to the DB, got PPE squared away for Monday, and had some meetings. Came home, made dinner, went to bed.
Scream
Another rough night. Tossed and turned. Woke up multiple times. Weird dreams. Hot then cold.
Weather stupid. Rain most of the day. Summer sucks. Only good season around here is fall. Is it fall yet? Didn't do much of anything. Okay with that. One week until I go to KY. This week should be uneventful. We shall see.
Silence. Was touch and go for a while though. I woke up a few times during the night. Sometimes they were screaming, sometimes quiet. The weather is dropping by 15-20 today and there is rain on the horizon. The pressure is all over the place.
Yesterday was rough. I had a million things to do and got zero reprieve from my head. Here's a list of everything I did yesterday:
That's probably not even everything I did, but that's still a hefty list. My head screaming the whole time. Around 7 C needed to run an errand and had me drive. I was just on edge the whole time. Everything was over stimulating me. I did somehow manage to record videos. Went to bed around midnight. Today I am doing NOTHING.
Back to screaming.
Was awakened at 3am by idiots shooting off fireworks. Tis that season. Morons.
LONG day yesterday. We ended up not going out. C had a BAD day. I had a boring as fuck day. Second day of vendor proposal/training. All I did all day was sit in a conference room for the last two days that could have 100% been done remotely. The whole point of this was for the vendor to pitch some bullshit software that my boss and I both know is bullshit but the non technical people are all excited about. It's a damn chatbot people, that's it.
We had indian last night. Went to bed. Taking car in for service this morning. Then grocery store.
Silence so far
Woke up around midnight to crazy thunder and lightning. Seems to have passed. Yesterday was all day meeting. I will elaborate more tomorrow after today's session. Made salmon for dinner.
Scream
The kid's grandpa passed away yesterday. I knew hom since I was 13. That's a long damn time ago. Must have been around 85 or so. Sad.
Was productive yesterday. Got a lot done at work which is good because today and tomorrow I am stuck in all day meetings. Made peanut lime shrimp for dinner. Streamed. Went to bed.
Scream
It kicked in yesterday too. During my 4 hour new employee bullshit. 30 people in a room. Forced socialization. Forced activity. It was hell. Pure HR and marketing hell. My social battery was drained after that.
It's hot. Real hot. Not happy.
Scream sigh
Had a productive Sunday. We did yard work together. Did C's laundry. Had pizza for dinner. Recorded some videos for the channel. Took a good nap. Home today, in the office all the rest of the week. Boo.
Back to screaming. Oh well.
I had one day of relief and I will take it. Had a very busy day yesterday. Got my hair did. Very happy. We did a new cut and style. I really like it. Did laundry. Cleaned the house. Recorded two videos for the channel. Made char sui pork for dinner. Went on a late night walk.
I reconnected with my old friend yesterday. He's had a lot of shit happen to him over the years, some good some sad. It was nice catching up. I am glad he is doing well. I am also glad he is supportive of me and my journey. You never know how someone is going to feel about things. Especially when they knew you in your old life. But it was nice.
Have to do C's laundry this morning. But that's the only task on the horizon.
Silence
And maybe I can hold it today. I don't have to drive anywhere except to my hair appointment. Maybe, just maybe I will get a full day of relief. Here's hoping.
Spent the day watching videos and learning software. On my way to a credential in it. The plumber also came. $510. BUT we do appear to finally have hot water again. I took a shower last night and had to turn it down! I am really hoping our problems with water are done. Live streamed. Paid bills. Went to the grocery store. Made burgers for dinner. Was a busy day while doing not a whole lot.
Excited for my hair appointment in 3 hours.
Scream
I have said silence a couple days this week when in fact the minute I hit the road it turned into screaming. From the pressure in the car driving to work. I'm fine until about 30 minutes into the drive and then it slowly starts pressurizing and boom. Screaming. I have tried cracking a window. I have tried driving in silence. Nothing has helped. It's the change in climate, the road noise, the stress of going into the office. Today I woke up with it so fuck me.
I reconnected with an old friend yesterday on linkedin. I haven't replied to his message yet, not because I don't want to, more out of making sure I had the time to reply with more than a sentence or two. I don't know what prompted me to reach out in the first place. Maybe me feeling lost lately. I don't know. I need to process a bit.
I got into it with my new boss a bit yesterday. I was crankier towards hom than I should have been. I have to be in the office Thurs and Fri next week because of some vendor all day training. Something that very easily could be done remotely. This drive is pissing me off and he was unhappy when I said I would WFH on Monday then. He didn't like I was changing my days again. I asked him why did it even matter? "Company policy blah blah blah". Fuck that. 90% of my damn job can be done remotely. I need to be in the office like 2 days a MONTH not 3 a week. I snapped at him a bit about it. But I am WFH from Monday whether people like it or not.
Need to take dog out. Need to pay bills. Need to wait for plumber. Someday I will get a break. Not today.
Scream
The shower is NOT fixed. None of the taps are. Cold shower again yesterday. So done with this. They are coming back out Friday and not leaving until I have hot water. No more excuses. My head started screaming yesterday on the drive to work and hasn't stopped. My lamb chops went bad and had to be thrown out. Ended up making chicken. Fuck everything right now.
Silence
The plumbing issue is resolved. But it might only be termporary. There was a rubber seal that was broken inside the tank. They were able to repair it, but if it happens again, then it needs to be replaced at the tune of $500. Let's hope it lasts until we can sell this place. That was my morning. From there not much else was going on. Worked, made dinner, went to bed.
Scream
This is it! The end of another year! Wow. What a year. From my head to my job to everything in between. Concerts. Dog. Job. Yeah I said that twice.
Still have no hot water. Plumber be here at 8 hopefully. I am hoping we get it resolved today. I am done with cold showers. We didn't do much of anything yesterday. Took dog for a walk. Watched some TV. Stayed inside.
