Y4 D168

I could write something depressing today because my head is in a dark place. Something like the notes I jotted down yesterday which went like this:

i am a scared little boy trapped inside the body of an old dying man.

i want out.

i am tired of the darkness. I am tired of trying. I save them all and yet none of them stay around to say thank you. maybe they didn't know they had been saved. maybe they didn't think they needed saving. but i knew. i always know.

but who saves me? who is there to hold my hand in the dark at night when i am alone and the tears form on my face? who watches the watchman? who saves the savior?

no one. that's who.

not a single fucking person.

while i believe i cannot be saved, it sure would be nice if someone tried once in a while...

I could also just shut up and try to find the good in the world. That's hard to do when idiots like my father are writing posts about how God shamed this country by allowing Obama to win re-election and he has tears streaming down his face. What the fuck? Seriously? Because yeah, God gives a fuck about politics. 

I am so tired of people. I am tired of stupidity. I wish something would come along and wipe out a large portion on the world. Cull the herd. 

Didn't even leave the house yesterday. Didn't even bother putting on real clothes. There was no need. Just like me. There's no need.