I watched the most fucked up movie last night. Really bad movie to watch if you are a white male in his 40s unhappy with his life. Trust me. It's called I Melt With You. It's about 4 guys all 44 who meet up in Monterey for their annual catching up party. Disillusionment, pain, suffering, realizing you aren't who you were supposed to be, etc. All those things that every guy my age either deals with or buries down until it kills them. Watch this movie but only if you're ready to face the topics it brings up. The on guy who managed to write one book but now teaches English; the doctor whose son calls his stepdad "Dad" and spends most days higher than a kite; the stockbroker who is facing embezzlement charges; the guilty guy who caused the car accident that killed his lovers. Yeah. Real happy stuff. Very real. Very touching. Very fucked up. And I watched it alone.
Thought about my brother a lot yesterday too. Thought about too many things.
The kid worked from 4am to noon. She got home around 1. She was exhausted but we went out for some food. We also stopped at the paint store. I think I am going to finally paint my bedroom. At least now I have colors decided. That's a huge step in the right direction.
I did do the right thing yesterday morning. SG wanted to come over early and fuck. I told her no. Not because I didn't want to. Not because I wasn't alone. But because it's wrong. It really is. Not her age or anything stupid like that - no, because despite whatever rules they have in their relationship, she is still a married woman and it isn't right. So I said no. I was a good boy.
Meh, that's about it. Count the bodies like sheep...
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