Got up yesterday and let her sleep. Mostly because I didn't want to face the elephant in the room. I wanted the weekend to end on a happy note. I went down and had breakfast by myself while she slept. She eventually woke up around 10 and we went off to get her coffee. After that we came back, packed up and she dropped me off at the airport.
It was a bittersweet ending to a good time. On Saturday when she talked to her husband he mentioned that given their schedules and the way things were lining up that maybe when she gets home in December they should start trying to have a family. This is something she wants, something he wants, and I can't stand in the way. This of course means our time is over. Hence why this was bittersweet. Like most things in my life, I am the end of a chapter for her. Starting next month she has to put away childish things and move into adulthood. Aka me. I am a diversion, a toy, a whatever, what I am not is the future. I never am. Look at the last one. I am always the shadow of something else.
We did part well. I will not deny. I also managed to get on an earlier flight so I was home by 3 instead of 5. That helped. Made my day a little easier.
No matter what, she will always be the Marla to my Tyler. When I am with her I look the way I want to look, I talk the way I want to talk, and I fuck the way I want to fuck. I am free in every single possible way. We will still have our virtual relationship for now, but as for being together physically, that part is done.
I will die alone. I know this. I have learned to accept it. I have reached that final stage of grieving. I am acceptance.
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