Y7 D209

I fucking hat wind chimes. I am hearing ones right now outside the window. I am currently sitting at the dining room table of B's grandparents with two laptops open. They have no clue what I am doing or what I do. It's the same story always. Whether it's X1's, X2's, or B's family or most of my friends  for that matter - they have no idea what it is I do. It can be a bit annoying because all last night everyone kept trying to worry about it me. I fucking hate it when people worry about me. Just leave me alone, let me have this little corner of the world and I will do what I need to do. I don't need fancy space, I don't need everyone to be quiet. You're all making me feel more self conscious than I need to feel.

So yesterday - I woke up around 7 which while it seems late, it really is 4am at home so I was right on my normal schedule. Go figure. Right now it's 4:25am EST so yeah. Anyway, got up, showered, meandered around while everyone else slept. B and her grandfather both got up around 9. We went out around 10 to do some last minute shopping. There were a couple of people we didn't get gifts for because we couldn't bring them with us and we didn't want to ship them. We went and got some $20 things for people. We went to a couple of different stores, had lunch at a place B likes (they have this thing called 'almond cheese' and it is most definitely not cheese), and then got back around 2. We wrapped presents and socialized and then went back out at 4:30.

We were having dinner with B's mom's family last night. Her mother, her mother's boyfriend, grandmother and grandfather, great grandmother, and her two sisters. 9 of us. We met up at a mexican restaurant and it was okay. Very chain and midwest but it wasn't awful. After dinner we went back to her mom's house to socialize. I am just not used to this and it is taking its toll on me. I am not used to this many people, this much family, etc. I am very used to being by myself. I was getting cranky and on the way back B and I got into an argument.

She wants to hang out with one of her friends and she doesn't want him to feel awkward because I am around and he doesn't know me and etc. The bottom line is she was planning on going out tonight around 10pm to go hang out with him and some other friends and that just rubbed me the wrong way. You're going to leave your husband home alone asleep to go hang out with a bunch of stoners. Whatever. Needless to say that was a fun discussion.

Went to bed around 11 after more fucking socializing. I don't know if I can take this for another 10 fucking days. Thank god we are going to a hotel in a few days.