Do you know my first thought every morning when I wake up? The first thing I think about is bills. Bills bills bills. Maybe because it feels like every day when I wake up I have an email from one person or another telling me I owe them money. Not that anything is behind mind you, just regular notices but it sets my mind going every single morning. It seems like it's one thing after another. Rent. Credit cards. B needs cavities filled. Groceries need to be purchased. Every single day that's the first overwhelming thought that floods my mind. How to pay this and that and have enough left over to pay this and get this done. I am in a much better place today than I was seven years ago but it still feels like the sword of Damocles hanging over me every day. My crushing weight.
Finished class at 2 yesterday. Went to the store to get stuff for dinner because we haven't done a good grocery trip in two weeks. Yes, I am going to the store today to remedy that. More money spent. Had peppers for dinner. Tried to catch up on TV. Made it through a few shows. Still have three more to go. Thank goodness there's nothing on tonight and with the Oscars tomorrow we should be able to catch up this weekend. Need to do laundry this weekend too. Joy. Clean the house.
Unfortunately my sister isn't feeling well so they won't be coming today. On one hand I am sad as I was looking forward to seeing her, on the other, I can stay in the house and spend less money. Plus B had a horrible headache herself last night so who knows how she will be feeling today.
I am just not in the best place mentally right now. I fear a slip down brain lane coming on. I feel one of my turns coming on.
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