Y3 D196

Yesterday was a bitch. I was in pain most of the day. I was cranky as hell all morning, didn't have the attention span to get any work done, the client was just pissing me off to no end, and, well, that's about it. You know, I am very introspective right now - yeah that was a major topic shift. Shift happens, work with it people...

Back to yesterday - worked, left around 4, picked up kid at public trans, came home, girlfriend came over, friend came over to drop off some stuff for me, played a little Xbox, watched an Angel episode, had sex. There. That's yesterday.

Why am I introspective? Age. Life. Last night the kid got a phone call from her boyfriend. He was asking what she is doing May 11 2012. Um... that's six months from now, nothing? He said good because he bought concert tickets but it will be a surprise.

I know exactly what he bought - Roger Waters doing The Wall. I have known about the show for a while. I didn't say anything to her but I texted him saying well done. He told me where there seats were and I had to laugh. I was still impressed that he bought the tickets, but let's just say they will need tissues to prevent nosebleeds. They *might* see the stage from where they are going to be. I am sure somewhere there will be a stage. The tickets I want? Section 4, row 1 - $2037 each. Yeah.

Which of course got me thinking. I have seen Pink Floyd. I have seen The Eagles, AC/DC, Scorpions, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Marilyn Manson, Slayer, Pantera, Smashing Pumpkins, NIN, Prince, Dio, Black Sabbath, BOC, Van Halen, Kiss, Guns 'n' Roses, Pearl Jam, Bauhaus, Peaches, Killers, Strokes, Rob Zombie, the Donnas, Frank Sinatra even, and so many more so many times in so many different line ups it's amusing. Made me feel old when I started thinking about it. Then I looked at the kid. Then I looked at TGF. That didn't help. Then I looked at my leg and the cane sitting next to my chair. REALLY didn't help. Then I went into the bathroom and looked at my hair. Shoot me.

Then I paused - and I realized I have lived. You know for what it's worth, I have fucking lived. I have done more than most people will ever conceive. I have tasted forbidden fruits, common day things, fine things, crappy things, and a plethora of things in between. I have lived. I am reminded of Auntie Mame. Live! Live! Live! Life is a buffet and most people are starving. It is so true. Yeah, I may be fucking old, but I am not dead. I have so much more to see and do that it amazes me. I think about tomorrow and smile at what I will accomplish, even if that is nothing. Heck in a few days I am off to New York at Christmas time. On the 17th I am going to Disneyland for my five month anniversary. At Christmas time. I started counting states I have visited - 23. Twenty three. Nine foreign countries. I know people who have never left their own state let own country. I could die tomorrow and feel good, but still feel like there was more to do.

What's next? Where do we go now?

I want to show TGF the world but I don't want to hold her back. I don't want to warp her. I have an angel on my back already to remind me never to destroy something beautiful again. How do you destroy an angel? Give them to me for a week...

Some nights I feel I should let her go. But then again, she is always free to leave. When she feels she needs to reach out and experience life on her own terms, I will not stop her. I will pack her a fucking lunch. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy nights like last night. Two hours of pleasure and bliss in bed preceded by 4 hours of laughter and happiness.

You can't take that away from me.

What's next world? What kind of adventure/trouble/fun will you throw at me next?