I have been listening to a lot of Everclear the last few days. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's better than when I go on a NIN bender that's for sure. It's still 'sad' music in some respects, but sad in a different sort of way. Not feel sorry for myself, angry, I want to kill everyone music. No more, yeah life sometimes sucks, women are a pain in the ass, and you will probably die alone but think about the beauty you created in your kid kind of music. If you don't know Everclear, I strongly recommend it. I know their last album was like 10 years ago, but it still holds solid now. I mean hell people still like Nirvana and Soundgarden and they were TWENTY plus years ago. Hey kid who thinks he is cool listening to Insecticide... that's oldies bitch....
But back to Everclear. The lead singer and main frontman Art and I could have been separated at birth which is why I like his music. Let's see -- father abandonment, teenage cocaine problems, cheating first wife, second wife problems, string of unhappy love affairs, beautiful teenage daughter, money issues, IRS issues, drinking problems, bouncing around never quite sure what to do with his life but holding on to a dream of being something to someone, playing shit gigs to put food on the table, making sure family always comes first even if you don't eat... Yeah. We both have tasted the 'good life' and struggle to get it back. Things were supposed to be different and perfect. The difference between him and me is he channeled into music while I struggle to channel it all into words on the page.
Some day I will live my dream as Bukowski - drinking, writing, not caring.
Yesterday was interesting. Worked all day as expected. Another 11 hours in the office. During that time I had a talk with my director. He was upset with me because he felt like I violated his trust for sharing some of the things he said at his anniversary party with my friend. I told him straight up that I had never seen him that angry and that I honestly feared for that person's safety AND that they needed to know how much anger he had towards them. He didn't remember any of the things he had said, nor did he remember breaking a glass against the wall. I told him I was sorry if he felt I broke his trust, but he needed to see it from my perspective. In the state he was in, I didn't trust him to make good choices. He was going to hurt someone or hurt himself. He also didn't realize we were in that bathroom for over a half an hour. Once I started putting the pieces together for him he calmed down and was able to understand my reasons. I don't think he is entirely happy with me, but he at least gets it now.
At the same time, TGF is finally starting to come out of her funk. I think I figured out what's bugging her. She has a major dance production this Sunday and she is nervous about it. She has been practicing twice as much as normal. Last night they went from 6:30 - 10:30. She has more dance rehearsal Friday and Saturday with the show on Sunday. But she seemed in a lighter mood last night. We talked on the phone for over an hour when she got home from dance. She is also doing really well in one of her classes which made her happy.
When I got home, the kid and I went for a ride to Best Buy to see if they had any Kinects in stock yet. Nope. We had Chipotle for dinner, then come back to watch a Buffy. While we were watching my boss called and I was able to arrange all my travel for the week of the 11th. I leave Sunday the 11th for JFK airport, staying in a nice suite with a view, then fly home Thursday the 15th in time to go to the holiday party. On the 16th I plan to spend the day at the DMV getting my car registered because it is a month over due already. Actually wait it's December, it's now TWO months overdue. Damn it. Oh well. I will handle it as soon as I can.
Today I am working and then hopefully seeing TGF tonight. Let's see how things go.
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