Y6 D250

Worst drive ever yesterday. We left at 12:30 and expected to be here by 5:30. It took us 8 hours to get here. A drive that should take 5 normally. The biggest issue was we got stopped in the middle of nowhere on the freeway because three semis decided to bump into each other, one of which caught on fire. THAT shut down the entire freeway. We sat there 5-10 cars back from it for TWO hours. As a result of that, it put us right in the middle of rush hour morning traffic. We sat for another hour in traffic. I was so aggravated by the time we arrived, but it all settled down.

Our first stop was IHOP. We had a nice relaxing breakfast then got into the park around 9:30. Since it was a Friday and since there are people scared of measles and it was overcast and cloudy, we had a mellow amount of people in the park. It wasn't empty but it wasn't packed. We walked right on Indy, Haunted Mansion, and Pirates all within the first hour. That was nice. We also went on Jungle Cruise and Roger Rabbit during the day. We had a nice time talking and hanging out. Around 2:30 we went to the hotel. Got checked in and then we slept until around 5.

For dinner we headed over to Gump's at GardenWalk. We had such a great time. We had a bunch of drinks all in take home glasses. They sang happy birthday and made her dance. We laughed and talked. It was really nice. I needed it.

We got back to the hotel around 9 and ordered room service dessert. The kid had a chocolate trio and I had a cheesecake trio. Finally around 10 we both collapsed.

In the end a shitty morning turned into a wonderful day.

Today we are going to have tiki, martinis, and frozen fun.

Y6 D249

Okay, it's after midnight so I can post.

We are off to Disneyland in a few minutes so this will be a quick one.

Worked on docs, new mic came - it's really fucking cool - made chicken fajita soup, slept so I am not tired, and that's about it.

Nothing of any major consequence is going on. More tomorrow.

Y6 D248

Had some trouble staying focused yesterday. I didn't get much done in the way of work which I am going to pay for today, but I did get one thing done that has been a problem for a while. I FINALLY got that network extender I bought 2 (3?) months ago working. I now have 100% cell signal in here. Funny thing, the way these things work, so do some of my immediate neighbors. It's basically a big field so anyone in range will reap the benefits. Took me over an hour of chatting online with Verizon to get it to work. They had to register the mac address, push a firmware update, and I had to get it just in the right location. But once I got it turned on 35 minutes later, bam, it worked. The shitty part is I have to shut it off in a little while. I am right in the middle of once more moving the office around. I hung another shelf yesterday and with the removal of the chair we just redid, it changed the available space in here and is going to allow me to rearrange. I have it half done because I didn't feel like shutting everything off last night. I wanted to do it while B was asleep. So it will happen in a little while.

We also ran a couple of errands yesterday. Got some groceries to keep B while I am gone the next few days. Tonight the kid and I are off for a father daughter Disney weekend for the kid's birthday. Fri - Sun. Buh-bye.

Not much else going on yesterday. Other than B telling me that I need to get out of the house because if I rearrange one more thing she will set me on fire. I know where she's coming from on that. I am a bit antsy right now. I do need to get out of town. This weekend Disneyland, then a week at home then a FULL week in Texas, then 3 days in Monterey. Yeah, the next few weeks will get my brain back in shape.

Time to shut everything down and rearrange.

Y6 D247

Let me rant about a couple of things first this morning:

1. Facebook has become the most useless trove of crap ever. This morning there wasn't a single original post on my feed. It was all "Dumb ass shared this from KRQR 93.1" or "Stupid shallow girl shared this video from Stupid Grrrl Products Inc". Do you not realize all you fucking people are doing is providing free advertising for corporations and websites that give exactly zero fucks about you? Do you have original thoughts in your head any more? If I want to look at nothing but reblogged shit, I will stay on Tumblr. At least there it's visually appealing.

2. The fucking cat is either an idiot or really finally heading down the slope. She just walked into a wall. Then yelled at me about it. Fucking cat.

We did a project yesterday which I would recommend to all of you. We had my yellow chair - it's a very nice chair with 1930s woodworking. I am sure I have mentioned it before. The issue was that the upholstery was at least 20 if not 30 years old. While I loved the chair, even I hated the fabric and B more than me. I learned about this product called Annie Sloan's Chalk Paint. It's designed to paint over anything essentially. No primer, no sanding, no prep. Including fabric! I was still waiting for a server yesterday so I found the one retailer in town that happens to carry that paint, picked up this purple color called "Emille" and the wax you use to seal it and bam - our project was born. It took us a while to tape and paint, and then a second coat, then the wax, but in the end, the chair was reborn. It actually looks like something straight out of the Haunted Mansion from Disneyland. We are thinking of painting the wood black to finish off the feel. For $75 we gave a chair new life. It would have been 2 or 3 times that much to have had the chair redone. It was such an improvement that we ended up rearranging the living room to make that chair out front instead of hiding it away like we have been up until now.

While all that was going on, we prepped more meat to go in the dehydrator, planned out dinners, and threw a corned beef in the slow cooker. It was a very home body day yesterday and that's okay.

I joined a new program yesterday. I was invited by Hilton to join Hilton Select Premiere. Essentially it's their travel agency division. It's $549 a year but I get:

• $200 Cash Back on Hilton Stay
• 10,000 Bonus Hilton HHonors Points
• 10 % Premier Cash Back on Travel for Hotel 
• Cash Back on Travel for Car and Cruise
• $500,000 Flight Insurance
• Checked Baggage Rebate
• VIP Services
• VIP Travel Assistance
• VIP Personal Helper
• VIP Pet Assistance
• Shore Excursion Rebate
• In-Flight Food and Beverage Rebate
• $25 Restaurant.com Gift Certificates
• Dining Discounts
• Roadside Assistance
• Retail Discounts
• Recreation Discounts
• Services Discounts
• Show Ticket Rebate
• Condé Nast Traveler Magazine Subscription
• Coupons Powered by Coupons.com
• Wi-Fi Rebates

Not a bad list of features eh? It's meant for the casual traveler who will take advantage of some but not all of these things. I plan on milking it for what it's worth. Especially the 10% cash back. The $25 a month in food too. Between those two I will get $500 worth of services without even trying. I did call them last night before signing up and asked a LOT of questions. I am a little apprehensive since it sounds too good, but we shall see how it goes.

With that chair done and this service purchased, we did some cleanup and then I went to bed around midnight. She came to bed shortly thereafter around 2.

Today is another day where I am waiting. I plan on doing some more office rearranging today. We shall see how that goes.

Y6 D246

Today, I slept in. It was wonderful. Didn't get a whole lot done yesterday. I waited for a server most of the day. I spent the day learning new stuff and getting ready when and if I have a server available. I knew it wouldn't be early this morning which allowed me the luxury of sleeping in. While I was waiting I helped B with some cleaning and moving some furniture around. We made even more room here in the office and today I may rearrange it once more. We also did our first round of dehydrating fruit yesterday. We did apples, bananas, and pineapple. Took about 6-7 hours for all of it to be done. It's not a difficult process, but you have to really get things sliced evenly or you'll be checking one layer, then rearranging, then checking another, etc. It is fun though.

Neither of us felt like a full dinner and instead we snacked. We decided to watch a movie last night that I have never seen but B has - Taken. No good reason why I have never watched those movies. But it was pretty enjoyable.

After, cleaned up the kitchen from all our drying, and went to bed around 11.

All in all, not a bad way to start the week. Three more days and I am off to the park.

Y6 D245

We spent a large portion of the day out yesterday. We wanted a book called the Dehydrator Bible and the closest place where it was in stock was a town 27 miles away. I fucking hate living out here. Where we drove to get the book was no picnic either. But we ended up wandering around the city as we didn't want it to be a wasted day.

The best part was the drive gave us a chance to talk about things. She has been frustrated with some stuff in general lately and we talked about it. She knows she should be working but it gives her anxiety. She has been wanting to take classes from us but the scheduling just hasn't worked out. We agreed to see what we could do to make things happen.

We went into a number of stores where we meandered around with no real purpose. We did find the book we went out there for so at least that goal was met. I ended up getting a book on FileMaker Pro. One nice thing about my company is they will let us pursue learning something technical if we can show that it can apply to our business. Anything database related is always a plus in my world. I also found a dancing baby Groot. He now sits on top of my other monitor. Hello Groot! We also spent a few hours looking at model homes while we were out there. We know it's not in the immediate future but by looking at them we are getting a feel for what we both find acceptable in a home. The bottom line is we need a 3-4 bedroom preferably with loft, 2300-2500 square footage. That will give enough space for both of us to have a room plus one more. Some of the 2100 sq ft places are okay, but they just don't have quite enough room for the closet and bathroom space we want. That little bit more gives us the extra stuff like dual walk in closets, master bath suite, etc. Plus looking at the upgrades has been fun and educational for both of us.

Got home around 5:30 and B cooked dinner - spaghetti squash and pork meatballs. Very tasty and healthy. Since we started eating differently a couple of weeks ago, I am down six pounds. While she was doing that, I re-hung the closet door in the office. It was swinging in which was stupid. Now it swings out as it should have in the first place.

We watched a little TV, then I went in the other room and did some file organizing and started reading my new book. B worked on a project of hers. I headed to bed around midnight. According to twitter her last message was 1:30 which means she came to bed around 1:45. I always use that as my gauge for when she came to bed.

This week Monday through Thursday is course work, then Friday the kid and I are off to fucking Disneyland!

Y6 D244

I found an outlet for my - I don't know what to call it, anxiety? frustration? - yesterday. I decided I was going to hang shelves and essentially build my own closet organizational system. You can now walk into the closet in the office without tripping over shit, my clothes are organized, and the rest of the room looks less cluttered as I made room for things. It took me until about midnight but I did it. I did other things during the day which is why it took until midnight, but still.

I got up, went to the store to look at something for B's birthday. She wants an instamatic camera and they had one at the CrapMart pretty reasonably priced. But it's a 'mini' in the pictures it produces and I wasn't sure if that was really what she wanted. I ended up not buying it, but I now have a better understanding of those cameras and was able to ask her the right questions. She does in fact want a mini and I will probably go back this morning while she is sleeping and get it for her.

Once she woke up I was able to start my projects. First up was moving my large speakers out of the living room. This place is just too small for speakers like I have. I already gave up the rears because of the room size, and I finally caved in and disconnected the floor speakers. Instead I swapped them out with what were my rear speakers. I don't know if I want to sell the big ones or not. I am still debating that. If I do sell them, I will use that money to buy a new soundbar and get rid of the other speakers too. They are really nice Klipsch floor speakers which is the problem. Finding a buyer. I paid $2500 for all 7 of them and the floors are probably $1200 of that. I would want at least $800. Try finding a buyer in this town.

I wanted the speakers done first as I planned on storing them in the closet. With the speakers ready, I then tore the closet apart. I hung a shelf over my desk to start as there were some things I wanted to 'put away' first. With that, I then hung three shelves in the closet and rearranged like a mad man. I am really happy with the results.

In between all that, B and I ate and watched Lucy. I also grabbed Deadwood yesterday. Because of watching Justified earlier this week and then seeing Ian Mcshane in John Wick, I wanted to go back and rewatch Deadwood.

We also produced our first batch of beef jerky yesterday! It came out pretty darn good actually. 4 hours of drying time. We could have scaled that back to 3. Going to get some more meat and try again, but today is fruit day. We have pineapple, apples, and strawberries we are going to do.

So you see I had a focused day where I didn't just sit in this fucking chair all day. That's what made the difference. Focused my energies. Got me doing things. Tangible results. Felt good.

Y6 D243

Up way too early. Especially seeing as we didn't get home until a little after 1am. Nothing crazy was done though. We managed to stay out until 1 in the morning without alcohol, drugs, or even spending more than $30 for the whole night.

Taught all day. Ran into some issues with the instance but it was to be expected as we were rolling out new material in the class and this was the first real time use. The students were cool with everything and I didn't trip out too much. We managed to finish around 2:40 which is pretty normal for this class regardless. I took a brief nap after class and then we pinged some friends and made plans for dinner and gaming.

Before we left started marinating meat for drying. I did my reading on that and it is going to take anywhere from 6-15 hours to do a pound of meat! I mean okay, I spent $4 on the strips of meat instead of $20 for a pound of store jerky, but man, that's some time.

While I was doing that, B was assembling a gift for our friends. They recently had a baby and she made them a 'build your own fort kit'. It's pretty cool.

We met up for dinner, had a nice time, headed back to their place where they gave us a gift - one of the classic book like parker brothers games. They gave us Clue which is probably my least favorite of any game ever but I was polite and smiled. They loved their gift. We sat around talking and playing CAH until about 1 (B won).

Getting out helped. I needed the interaction. Now just make it through the week and Friday I will be in the park.

Y6 D242

Still not where I want or need to be. I was able to verbally communicate my feelings to B last night and she understood why I have been cranky and moody lately. She also understands my need for wanderlust or social interaction or whatever you want to call it. The way she put it was - while I don't like you being gone on the road, I am at the point where I need you on the road. We both get it. I can't stay locked up like a rat in a cage. She's looking forward to next weekend as much as I am. Just have to make it to next weekend.

Sigh.

Decent class yesterday. I am trying out new material that I managed to get done on Monday in this class. So far so good. Decent group of folks. Plus I got some positive feedback from some folks in my other class on Monday and Tuesday.

One of B's birthday presents arrived yesterday and we decided to open it early. I got her a Nesco food dehydrator. She had been talking about drying our own fruit and jerkies to avoid all the sugar that is in commercial versions. We will try it out this weekend. Went to the store last night and bought some pineapple, strawberries, and thin strips of flank steak as our first guinea pigs. I am actually looking forward to it.

We also picked up the pieces for her to make a present for one of our friend's kids - a make your own fort kit. Basically it's a sheet with rope, clamps, and a flashlight, but for a kid, it's an adventure.

We got back, had some dinner, and settled in to watch a movie together. It was nice. We watched John Wick which we both LOVED. The reviews on that are funny. It's either a 10 or 1. No in between. We loved it.

Finished up a little after 11 and went off to bed. Was in bed by 11:30 but didn't fall asleep until midnight. So yeah, running on light sleep this morning, but it's Friday and I feel confident I can get through this class with no issues.

I am grateful to have someone I can talk through my mental states with openly. Look how much less manic I am right now. Getting it out there makes all the difference in the world.

Y6 D241

I thought my mood was getting better but apparently not. I really need to get out of this fucking house and have interaction with more than one person. Here's the one place where we are not compatible, where opposites balancing each other is bad - I am a fucking extrovert, plain and simple. I need social settings. I need to be out. I need to be able to sit at a bar and soak in the room. I want the noise, the chaos, the energy. But it has to be on my terms. Going to the grocery store at 4 in the afternoon while everyone is starting to come home from work and in my way, is NOT how I want to spend my afternoon. Nor sitting at home watching TV. I need something. Soon. Very soon.

I need to go to a doctor. My ears are bugging me. I have another, well probably the same one, infection.

Goddamn it. I just don't care. I am so pissed off, annoyed, frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned, and tired I can't see straight.

I did do something of value last night. I learned a new software application. Well, I started learning it. I grabbed a copy of FileMaker Pro 13 Advanced yesterday and started learning how to use it. I made my first database, created joins, and imported records. I want to make a web/mobile app for my spending and bills. I want to be able to just plug in a bill pay or plug in a receipt so I can keep track of everything I spend. Plus it's fun learning something new.

Two more days. New class starts today. 4 people. That's something else I am keeping track of and might make a db for that too - how many students I am training this year, what companies, onsite or remote, class, etc. I want at the end of the year to have some statistics.

I might build the foundation for that while I teach today.

Y6 D240

It's just a ride.

Don't forget that.

The only one stopping me from enjoying the ride, getting off the ride, or forgetting it's just a ride, is me. No one else. Just me.

When I got up yesterday at 4:45, I had to prep for dinner. We were planning on having beef stew and she told me she was going to slice the veggies before she went to bed (2 am) but apparently she forgot. So I had to spend the next 20 minutes prepping the veggies, letting them sweat for an hour, browning the meat, then finally assembling everything. In the end it all came out really well, I won't lie. But more stress in the morning than I wanted, that's for sure.

Started class, 11 students, went okay. Today is day two with this group. They are very inquisitive but in a good way. No one is really standing out as a problem - they are all okay. Finished up around 2:40 and then I played a little Lego Batman for a while.

We decided to finally catch up on Supernatural and had a six episode marathon. That was actually enjoyable. Ironically, when we finished, I said watch, there will be a new episode. Before I went to bed, I checked the streams, and yep, there that fucker is. Sigh. Grabbing it right now but at least we can watch it straight away.

Went to bed around 11. I am feeling better I think? I don't know. I do know I need to get back on the road. I booked 6 days in March yesterday. Over the course of the next 8 or 9 weeks I have at least three trips confirmed. I need a couple more and I will feel less trapped like a caged animal and that will help.

Y6 D239

Ya know the hardest part about getting old? One day you're this young buck running around middle finger in the air telling everyone to sod off because you're right, they're all old and stupid, and why can't they just acknowledge you're right?? Well fuck them! I will make my own rules! Fuck the man. Yeah. Okay. Then 10 years go by and you wake up and you realize you are the man. You have the house and car and you realize you never wanted any of it. So ten more years go by and  your world shatters into a million pieces but somehow you bounce back. You find that sliver of that kid you once were who told the world to fuck off and you learn to balance it with the man. But then another 5 years go by and you wake up one day and realize you're right back on that fucking path you just left. The stress. The obligations. The shit that means fucking nothing. Why? To make others happy? Because you're supposed to? Only this time you know you don't have another 10 or 20 years left in you. You can't do it again. So what do you do?

Y6 D238

You know how you stomach sounds when it is hungry or after you've eaten a big meal? That gurgly rumbly sound? That's what I am hearing from under the desk below me. Like some bizarre troll creature living under there. But alas no troll, just the stupid cat. I swear every time I think she's about to be gone forever, she defies the odds and just keeps going. Gee, kind of like me.

Twas a TV marathon day for B. She is hooked on Scandal this week. I went on a mini adventure. I was going to make some tofu waffles in the morning (look them up) but when I pulled out the waffle maker it was disgusting. Like mold growing on it disgusting. So I decided to go get a new waffle maker. Also B had been asking if we had a hand mixer to save her from having to pull out the big kitchenaid every time she needed to mix something small. I went first to CrapMart. I found the hand mixer there, but no waffle maker. I then went to BBB, nothing in the price range I wanted. Next, I popped into Michael's because I have been also looking for some silicon baking cups. Score. Last stop, Target, and waffle maker procured. 90 minutes for those items. Adventure time.

I got back around 1 from all that. Did a little TV marathon myself, but mine was in the other room, and was Black Mirror. I am all caught up now having watched 3 episodes - White Bear, The Waldo Moment, and White Christmas. The Waldo one was meh. It was good but more in line with things that happen right now anyway. I didn't feel like there was much there other than the humanity angle.

Now White Bear and White Christmas? Fuck me. White Bear was hard to watch but so damn good. White Christmas you could slowly see what was coming but it still made you pause. Excellent fucking show.

We had steak for dinner and I sat in the other room with her for a little while. But then I went and did some file work. Downloaded some stuff, organized, etc.

Went to bed around 11. Today is course material writing day followed by four days of training. Let the week begin.

Y6 D237

Had an acceptable day yesterday. My moods have been all over the place the last few days and I know it. It's because I have been home too long. Too much of the same 4 walls. Too much of the same area. I am getting lost in my own head more and more. I need to do something and get out. Two weeks. Two weeks and I can go out of town.

We did make plans for Valentine's Day weekend. Technically we are celebrating late because of my work, but at least we're celebrating. We are going to go to Monterey for a couple of days. See the aquarium, walk around, etc. It will be a nice change of pace.

Yesterday we got up and made broccoli cheddar soup and left it in the crock pot to cook while we went out. We had to hit the mall for some stuff including some eye cream for me. Since we left out here in the middle of fucking nowhere, the journey to the mall is 30-40 minutes. I feel so fucking mid-western having to do that. Sigh.

We grabbed a late lunch at BJs and we were home around 4. Some friends came over at 6 and we had the soup and salad. The soup came out fantastic and is one of the best fucking soups I have ever made.

We went out to the smoke shop as I wanted some new e-juice and they needed some stuff too. That was fun. We had a nice little journey. We came back, played CAH, and relaxed. They took off around 11:45 and I went to bed around 1 after cleaning.

Today we have nothing on the agenda. Let's see how the day goes.

Y6 D236

Did yet one more round with my client yesterday. They are very happy with the service level they received. After I sat through a 2 hour webinar that made me want to poke my eyes out and shove rocks in my ears.

When class was done, I took a little nap. Got up and well didn't do jack fucking shit to be honest. B found a new show so there goes the TV. I sat in the other room and watched Black Mirror. Episode "Be Right Back". Some fucked up shit right there. Had dinner. Talked a LOT with the kid last night which was nice.

And that's about it.

Friends coming over tonight. Mostly for B. I need to get away not have anyone here. Two weeks until me and the kid go to Disneyland. I can't fucking wait.

Y6 D235

Interesting day yesterday. Highlights included:

Going out at 6:30am to have my car serviced. Had a 7am appointment and at my old dealership that meant you go there super early even with an appointment. Here? I was the only one. And it turns out my appointment was 7:30. Lovely. Sat for two hours in the coldest waiting room ever. It was down to 39 here yesterday and I was freezing all fucking day.

Stopped at the mall after the car for some body wash.

Came home and made significant strides on a new training I have been working on.

Went grocery shopping late. We discovered a new place recently - WinCo. Warehouse style shopping and prices without the membership AND with name brands and smaller quantities. I don't need a 128 ounce thing of ranch, the 16 will do fine thank you.

Cleaned out the pantry and the fridge to make room for the $200 in groceries bought.

Watched random television while working. I like my new desk configuration. I can see all the screens at the same time.

Then the freakout at midnight. B's cat was being overly affectionate to me last night and she got this irrational panic attack that it was because the cat was worried about me dying in my sleep. WTF? Great. There goes any chance of me sleeping. Not to mention her watching over me while I tried to sleep. Fucking weird ass shit.

Last day of working with the client. Work on docs. Then the weekend. Groceries are done so no obligations for the weekend. Yay me.

Y6 D234

The wheels on the bus go around and around...

that's me. the wheels on the bus. same shit, different day. Need a change. Need to get back on the road, or go somewhere, or do SOMETHING. Worked. trained. watched random shit. watched black mirror. the entire history of you. implants that record EVERYTHING. cool. scary. not for the obsessed. but very interesting.

bed. sleep. rinse repeat.

Y6 D233

Moving very slow this morning. I have been up for a while but can't seem to focus long enough to get anything accomplished. Having a rough time of it.

Did another session with my client yesterday. Another one is scheduled for today. Watched another episode of Black Mirror. Made pork chops for dinner. Ran to the store. Found where the car dealer is as I have an appointment tomorrow for service. Thoughts are all over. I am pissed at one or more of the housing development we went and saw on Sunday as it would appear they sent my email to a fucking spam list for 'get your loan now' kind of shit. 20 unwanted fucking emails yesterday. If I figure out which one did it I will tell them that thanks to that practice I would never buy a house from them even if I fucking could. Big words. Empty threat.

Whatever.

Another session today. Work on new material. Drive off of a cliff. Sounds like a plan.

Y6 D232

Still not happy about my life right now but I managed to keep it buried and hidden from B yesterday. There's no reason for her to suffer any more than she already is because of my stupidity and bad life decisions. The least I can do is plaster a smile on my face and pretend like everything is okay whilst inside I am seething and hating myself. I've done it before, I can do it again.

Did some mentoring yesterday with a client. Same thing again today. We did a bit of a Marvel marathon yesterday. I wanted to watch Agent Carter but B had never seen both Captain America movies so we did those first, then the two episodes of Agent Carter, then she wanted to watch Iron Man. I managed to sit through 1, but had to go to bed. She stayed up and watched 2. I don't think she watched the third one though. During the day while I was working she made Chicken Fajita soup which came out really well.

I have no motivation to type. I have no motivation to do anything at all to be honest. I want to sell everything as just looking around is a reminder of all those bad decisions. Sell it all, move to the middle of nowhere, be alone, and let everyone get on with their lives.

Y6 D231

You ever just sit and ponder and dissect every bad choice? Every wrong decision? Every crappy moment? Every stupid fucking thing you have ever done? No? Well that's how I spent my afternoon. Regretting everything I have done for the last 40 fucking years. Every stupid purchase, every moment I needed to be cool, every marriage, everything.

What brought this on? Looking at houses. We went out yesterday morning to get B a fucking donut because she has been doing great the whole rest of this week and she has been craving a donut. Everything else aside, she did great and only ate half then and saved the other half for later. Proud of her for showing restraint. Unlike me my whole life. On the way back we saw signs for one of the housing developments in this area. To make a long story short, we spent the next 4 hours going to all four of the housing developments in this area.

Here's the positive news - for less than what I paid for my first house 12 years ago, we could have a brand new customized house here. My first house was 60 years old when we bought it, 3 'bedrooms' (one of them was a converted garage), one bath, a great yard, but we ended up putting 20,000 into it to make it nice, and it cost me $560,000. We found a floorplan we both loved yesterday that 4 bed, just under 2500 square ft and CUSTOMIZED it would be around 499 - 513. 20 year warranty on things like the foundation, 10 year on the roof and water heater, built in wiring for everything, just perfect.

But by the time we were done looking I was so fucking depressed because I can't afford the fucking down payment on ANYTHING we saw. Nothing. I can't even buy a fucking foreclosure in MI. Because I am an idiot who has made bad choice after bad fucking choice. And it hurt me as my decisions are now haunting me and hurting someone else. B deserves someone who can give her a life.

I don't know what to do or what I am going to do. But I am in fucking state right now, that's for sure. I need to figure out how to rectify a lot of years of bad choices and not ruin yet another person's life.

Y6 D230

Had a long and busy day yesterday. We did another full frontal assault on the fleas yesterday. I spent the morning getting everything off the carpets. If this doesn't work this time, then we have to remove all of the furniture from the place and bomb it. But hopefully it won't come to that. Because we might as well move. Took me a couple of hours to get everything ready, then when B was up and all set, she took the cats and bathed them while I went off on the carpets. Two hours later we were all done and needing to leave the house for an hour.

We went out and grabbed some lunch. Got back, put everything back, and then we made dinner together. We made pork chili verde and cauliflower spanish 'rice'. It came out pretty good. A little weird for me, but definitely edible.

We then watched some TV and at 11:40 we got this random hair up our butt to go to Walmart. Midnight Walmart Run! Woooo! We picked up a couple of things we needed like baggies, ice tray, and dryer sheets.

Got back, hit bed around 1.

The only significant thing of note from yesterday is when we went out the first time, there was a note on the door from our upstairs neighbor. He apologized for the noise and gave me his cell to text him in case of future noise. That was pretty nice. Doesn't make his stomping any easier to deal with, but it was a nice gesture.

Today we have NOTHING planned. Let's marathon something!

Y6 D229

I slept in a little bit. I have been up since 7:30 but there was something weird going on with my computer this morning and I have been looking into that. I woke up and my screen was on. It wasn't going into sleep mode. I have it set to wake on network access which makes me wonder what was pinging it. I have the firewall turned on and only a couple of apps are allowed to make connection. I did some network connection tests, checked the firewall settings, ran a who, a last, and looked at the logs. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. Currently running a ClamXav against it to see if there's something lurking.

Taught all day yesterday. Finished up around 2:30. Good group. I hope all my classes are this good all year. Hah. Yeah. Sure. Took a little nap and then B and I went out to run some errands. We needed printer ink to print her new collection of recipes she has been putting together. While we were out we grabbed some dinner. We got back home and printed out her stuff and realized we needed a binder for it all. Back out we went. We got back and the music from upstairs at 10:20 was unacceptable. I went up there and told him to turn it down. It appears my normal neighbor is not there. The guy who answered the door I have never seen before. He immediately turned it down but if it someone new, then the battle begins fresh.

We did laundry and dishes through the day and needed to put everything away before bed. We also started prepping for today. Today is another let's try to eliminate all the fleas day. Furniture needs to be moved so I can attack these carpets. By the time everything was done, it was midnight. Lovely.

It was a domestic type of day yesterday and today will be about the same.

Y6 D228

Starting to feel almost back to 100% normal. Not bad. 5 days to run through a cold from end to end. The power of rest and medicine. I am a little tired this morning as I didn't go to bed until 11. I need a full 8 hours tonight. That would be nice.

Full day of teaching yesterday. All the way up to 3pm. The second day of this class is always the roughest on everyone. It's a lot of material to absorb and process. The class did well, not as well as I would have liked, but they still good enough that we aren't terribly behind or anything. After class I forced myself not to nap so I didn't mess up my sleep. Smart move.

For dinner I made mushroom balsamic chicken with veggies. Came out nice. It was a long recipe to make as there was a good amount of simmering involved. Took me about an hour to make dinner, but it was worth it. We had a second movie night which was nice. We first tried watching Auntie Mame but while B enjoyed the acting and the story, the film style and cinematography made it hard for her to watch. I attempted a second movie which went over better - Wanted. I love that damn movie and luckily for me, so did she.

Another good quiet night. Tonight we are doing flea-geddon part 3. Another full round of baths for everyone followed by carpet bombing. Yay. What a fun way to spend a Friday night.

Y6 D227

My sense of smell and taste are back! Yay! Plus this morning I am waking up once again in a free country! As of 1:20pm yesterday, FOIE GRAS IS BACK! It is no longer illegal in the mighty state of CA. Bring me my liver bitches! My buddy immediately let me know when the ruling came down yesterday. Happy days.

Taught all day. Good class. Six people which for this topic is a good size. We went until about 2:30 and I went into the other room to be with B and she was working on a 'cookbook'. She was finally putting together all the low-carb recipes she has been collecting on Pinterest into word documents. She organized them by meal type and formatted them. Hey who am I to point out we already have a low-carb cookbook on the shelf. The problem with mine is that it's 'fancy stuff' to her. Whatever. I sat on the couch while she worked on it and accidentally fell asleep. Maybe because I couldn't breathe still? Either way, when I woke up she had her stuff done and had the perfect first one for us to try out given I had taken steaks out for dinner. Okay. I am good with this. (Speaking of that, I need to take something out for dinner tonight. Chicken? Ok.) We made steaks in a nice beef broth, balsamic mustard sauce served with veggies.

After dinner we had movie night. She has wanted me to watch Transformers with her since I have never watched it all the way through. About 30 minutes in I realized WHY I never watched it through. God I hate Michael Bay. Seriously I was bored the entire time. The movie is nothing but never ending commercials with explosions. Yawn. It's too corny, too trite, and just dumb. But I sat through it for her. It was nice having movie night. We may do it again tonight, but this time *I* pick. I am thinking Wanted. One of my favorite movies but enough to keep her interested. We shall see.

After the movie it was around 10. I did some quick scrolling and updates in here, then went to bed around 11. She came in shortly thereafter.

Day 2 of 3 with my class. Oh yeah, I also ordered new contacts yesterday. Not a bad deal - $75 for an entire years supply and they will be mailing them to me directly. I should have them by Monday or so of next week which is fine as the doctor gave me a new pair Saturday which takes me until February. I also booked the hotel for the end of the month. At the end of the month the kid and I are going to Disneyland by ourselves for a father/daughter birthday weekend. We haven't had one of these in a while so it should be fun.

That's about it. Let class begin.

Y6 D226

Slept like utter shit last night. Tossed and turned, couldn't breathe which meant I snored like a train because B would keep hitting me to roll over. I am getting fatter and that's making my snoring worse. Why the fuck am I putting on so much weight lately? I haven't changed my eating habits in the last couple of months, but I feel bigger. I just don't want to eat at all. I was talking with a friend of mine whom I haven't spoken with in a while and we were discussing Paleo lifestyle. She has been living that way for a while and has never been happier. I really am considering going that route. I need to do something now.

Worked yesterday on a variety of little client things. Even wrote up a nice article for our Knowledge group. I feel this is the year I am more professional at work and in work settings. It's not that I am unprofessional at clients, but I can be a bit arrogant and flippant around co-workers. Living up to the reputation if you will. I got a couple of good feedback emails from the article so that made me feel pretty good.

I also bit the bullet and bought VPN software yesterday. $40 for a one year subscription with 5 machines and 3 simultaneous connections with international servers. I pulled about 8gb as a test and it went well. My cold started hitting me again and I took a short nap from 1:30 to 2:30. At 3 we went out to meet some friends for a movie and dinner.

Saw the Penguins of Madagascar. Cute as hell. Don't know if it was worth $20 plus snacks, but it is a cute movie. After the movie around 7 we went to Mimi's Cafe for dinner. Following dinner we walked around the shopping center. It was good to get out and see them. One of them moved to MN for school last year and we don't see her often. They have been making the long distance thing work so far and we wish them luck on that.

Got home around 9 and B got super tired. She tried watching a movie but couldn't do it. She went to bed around 9:30 and  I went in around 10:30. We had a nice 20 minutes or so of cuddling and falling asleep and that was the last good sleep for the night.

I may just sleep on the couch tonight to let her have a good night.

Teaching the next three days. One class, six students. I enjoy this class material and hopefully will have a good group to kick off the new year.

Y6 D225

I rearranged the office yesterday. I am still getting used to things. The computer screen is much closer than it used to be. I have been going on about wanting an L shaped desk for efficiency, yadda yadda, but what I realized yesterday is I am just tired of looking at the same walls and same view day in and day out. I used to do this a lot when I was still a regular office worker with an actual office. Every so often I would rearrange my office the best I could. So now this room is completely topsy turvy from what it was. I can live with that.

I am also still sick. Better than Sunday, but still sick. Stuffy nose, achy, etc. I did around 2 yesterday take a big ol' gulp of NyQuil and passed out for 2 hours. When I awoke B had made homemade chicken soup for me. It was pretty damn good I have to admit. She also spent the whole day cleaning the house. Like real cleaning; floor mopping, tub scrubbing, crevice cleaning cleaning. It looks great. We settled in on the couch for a while and watched some random TV. It was nice just spending time together. She has been a bit depressed lately and all the cleaning and being together helped lifted her funk a little bit. I took my next dose of meds around 11 and went to bed. 

I did do a little bit of work yesterday but not much. Mostly email and admin stuff. Today looks to be the same. Good as I need the rest.

Y6 D224

I have a man-cold according to B. That's where it's a minor thing but as I frequently said yesterday "I'm dying". Conversely a man can get an arrow to the knee and he will respond with "it's a scratch, I'm fine". All very true. So yes, I spent most of yesterday dying. I went out in the morning and grabbed some NyQuil in original green death flavor - aka the good shit. I also picked up some juice.

Spent most of the morning just lounging. I did vac up all the powder from the cats. Did dishes. Took care of laundry. Played a little Batman Lego, took some meds and slept for 3 hours. Woke up and for dinner we pretty much ate ALL the leftovers we could. We had a bunch going on in there and man does the fridge look better.

After I kind of collapsed on the couch and sat through Downton Abbey as I was too sick to fight it. I went to bed around 11 but B feeling better herself finally decided that was the right time to clean. Whatever. Go. Clean away.

Today I am on call for whatever is needed of me. Otherwise, not a whole heck of a lot going on. This should be an interesting day.

Y6 D223

I have an honest to goodness full blown cold, yay me! It only took a few weeks of sucking in B's germs for it to hit me, but here it is. Joy.

Yesterday was not a good day. I felt all this coming on and it made me cranky and ornery as hell. After doing my normal morning stuff I went to the store and picked up diatomaceous earth as our next attempt at getting rid of fleas in this house. I could feel this cold coming on and it just put me in a lousy mood. Everyone was annoying, everything was bugging me. I also stopped and bought some groceries and other stuff on our household list. Again, I was being cranky and having to spend money and having to be out in the cold while she slept, blah blah blah. I get back home and she finally wakes up an hour after. In that time, I did all the dishes, prepped to put the powder down, and started one load of laundry. Getting grumpier and grumpier the whole time mind you.

She gets up and bathes the cats while I do the powder. For those of you who don't know what diatomaceous earth is, it's essential natural silica dioxide, or ground up exoskeleton of tiny animals. To humans and animals it's too small to be damaging but to insects, especially fleas, it's like walking on razors. They also ingest it so they are swallowing razors. It tears them up both inside and out. It is as bad ass as it sounds. It's also something that is a pain to put on your floors and get up your nose as you're doing it.

Got everything done and then it was time to do more laundry. Here's where my crankiness met her crankiness. Supposedly the dryer is making a high pitched whine. I could hear it at first but then I moved the dryer and TO ME it went away. She SWORE it was still there and I was trying to get her to come closer to point out WHERE she thought it was coming from when she says "It's a FACT as you get OLDER you can't hear certain high frequencies." Yes, she is correct, but do you know what I heard? YOU'RE OLD YOU CAN'T HEAR IT. That was it. I was pissed and stormed off. The next two hours until we had to go out we're tense as fuck.

We had to go out at 3:30 as I had an eye doctor appointment at 5 back near our old place. That was a tense ass drive. I saw the eye doctor, who put me in a new brand of contact lens which right now I really like, and things were better afterwards. As she put it - you're always nicer and defused after being around someone where you have to be nice - essentially faking it makes me go back to the real thing. We both apologized to each other and went to have pizza. We had pizza at the place we both miss quite a bit and got larger than we needed so we could have leftovers! While we were at dinner we texted friends we haven't seen in a while and decided to get together. Yes, we did have a show last night, but call time wasn't 11:20 and it was 7. We had WAY too much time to kill. We hung out at our friends for quite a while and it was great. We both needed that kind of social interaction. We headed to the show around 11.

The show was okay. Not bad but not great either. I think it's this cold that made it annoying for me but it was also a moderate crowd and we had very little time to setup and get ready. Got through it and was home at 3:30. I did have to vacuum the bedroom otherwise neither of us could have slept in there. The powder from earlier? Yep, you let it stay in the carpet for as long as you can handle. Therefore the whole rest of this place minus the bedroom is covered in powder. By the time I finished vacuuming and dumping the dust it was 4am. B was already asleep. I fell asleep and woke up at 7:30. I forced myself back to sleep until 8:30 but that's still only 4.5 hours. Sigh.

Today I am going to strive to make it better. I need to go get some NyQuil but otherwise have no reason to leave the house today. I don't have to teach tomorrow which is good as I probably won't be able to talk. I also need to finish vacuuming. Whee.

Y6 D222

Today is not starting off well. I have a sore throat. That is the most evil thing for someone in my line of work. It may just be strained from the show on Wednesday, but it feels more like cold kind of sore throat. Bad, very bad. I need to baby it today and tomorrow.

Yesterday we spent the majority of the day out and about with a friend. He has been going through a bit of a self discovery phase. Last year he ended a six year relationship. They had been engaged for 3 of those. One of those kind of relationships. He decided to go into this new year with as much of a refresh as he could. Recently he spent about $500 on updating his wardrobe; he bought a new bedroom set and yesterday he asked for our help in finding a living room set. Since we very much approve of what he is doing, we heartily agreed. We spent the day going to multiple furniture stores and also had both lunch and dinner out with him. We spent almost 9 hours on this quest, but in the end, he did find a couch, a love seat, a recliner, a coffee table, and end table. It's all schedule to be delivered in two weeks. He was very excited and happy.

We got home around almost 9 and B watched Downton Abbey while I just sat there with her. I didn't care to watch it but she was in a mood yesterday and I didn't want to listen to her complain about me being in here. I don't know what was going on with her yesterday but she was just off all day. Let's see if today is any better. We have a show tonight but before hand I have an eye doctor appointment in that same area. Which means we are leaving here 9 hours before the show and will have to kill massive amounts of time. This should be fun...

Y6 D221

Well I made it through one day of 2015 with no scratches, that's a good sign!

The best part of yesterday is we didn't leave the house once. B slept in pretty late then proceeded to stay on the couch most of the day and marathon her Downton Abbey show. Thank goodness she is almost done with it. I put away the majority of Christmas stuff. I say majority because she won't let me take the tree down yet. The downside to having a fake tree. There really is no reason why it can't stay up. It's not hurting anyone. I did move it to a new place where it is out of the way. I am not going to push her on it. She wants the tree up, she can have the tree up. Most of everything else I did yesterday was cleaning and organizing centric. I want to keep things as organized as much as I can this year. One of my goals for 2015. Yeah I know, I am boring.

Made meatloaf from scratch for dinner. It came out really well I must admit. Nice and flavorful with no dryness at all. Pretty proud of it. Meatloaf can go south quick - you overcook it, not enough flavor, etc. I was happy with how it turned out.

After dinner I worked with my friend to figure out some technical stuff that was going on with one of my machines. Did some port tests, tried to see what was happening. Today is the day I buy VPN software and hide away my machine from prying eyes. Once I had everything configured, I played a little Diablo and then went to bed.

A good boring Sunday. Oh wait, it was Thursday. WTF? Today is Friday. Man I hate this holiday stuff screwing me up.

Y6 D220

HAPPY 2015!!

Wow. That is a seriously bizarre thing to type. 2015. That's just... a lot of years.

I do have a bit of a headache this morning but not from partying or alcohol. We turned the heat on last night when we got home and forgot to turn it back off. My fault but now I am paying for it. We were so tired when we got home. Rolled in around 4. Which also means I am currently functioning on about 4 hours sleep.

Woke up yesterday without an alarm which in itself is nice. I did work yesterday. I spent a couple of hours going over the schedule for Jan and Feb, booked some travel arrangements for Feb, followed up with people to confirm some online sessions, prepped for one online session, etc. Then I spent six hours listening to all the webinars and training sessions I have missed - Hadoop, Predictive Analytics, and new features in the latest version of the product we teach. THAT last one was really cool. There are some nice features not only do I want to use, but will be fun to teach people this year. It was a really good use of my time yesterday and I managed to clean the office while listening to one webinar in particular. It didn't require me to look closely at the slides but more listen as it was discussions about case studies. This allowed me to listen and clean at the same time.

Made fish tacos for dinner and after dinner, B started getting ready and I ran to the store real quick for some things I needed for the show. Got back around 7 and got ready myself. We left here about 8:20, drove to our friend's place, and he drove from there to the show. We rolled up into the city at 10 and we had a great night. The theater owner every year buys us pizza and gives us DVDs he gets throughout the year. This year I got Kronos and B got Ghost in the Shell the show. We made our announcement to cast about our being married, opened champagne, and since I was emcee, I got to do the countdown and the big HNY! at midnight. It ended up being a really good show and since we started on time, we finished up around 2:30. There were no issues from the audience except for one drunk guy but he was handled smoothly.

I think everyone had a safe and fun NYE and hopefully made it home safe. We did.

Let's see how 2015 does for everyone!