Y7 D35

The kid is going to do something awesome. In August of 2016, so yes, a year from now, she is going to spend a week in Ireland. 9 days to be exact. She is doing one of those college group things. $500 down, $80 a month, $2200 total including flight, food, tickets, etc. Nine days across the Irish countryside. I am proud of her for making a decision to do this, signing up all on her own, and pulling the trigger. She is going to have an experience of a lifetime.

As for me, taught all day in the basement of a 100 year old building. This client is literally in the middle of nowhere. It's a 40 minute drive to their location over one lane roads where you have to watch out for Amish with their buggies. I am not exaggerating this at all. There are "Share the Road" buggy signs. Class went smooth and I finished up around 4. Got back to the hotel around 5, relaxed, had dinner, watched John Oliver (which EVERYONE should watch this week), got B teen wolf, went to bed around 10.

Much of the same today I expect.

B is still awake sending me annoying messages because she is stressing out and getting panic attacks. I don't have time for this shit at 5:23am. Sigh. I hate being on the road when we have something to do at  home. We may not move for a couple more months if this continues. Shit. This is just more shit I have to deal with. Fuck. Now I am in a shitty mood.

Y7 D34

Welcome to beautiful downtown Newark Ohio, home to... well, absolutely nothing apparently. It is rather beautiful here, I can't deny that, but man oh man, there is nothing here. This is small town living for sure. I am actually about 30 miles from my destination but this was the closest Hilton hotel if that tells you what it's like out here.

Got in around 4:30EST due to a little bit of delay in DFW. Long day as I was at the airport at what, 3PST? My flights were good. I got my upgrades on both my flights so I was able to have both breakfast and lunch. Was comfortable in both flights too. I did have a little stress as my connecting flight was tight. I made it to my gate with 9 minutes to spare. I don't like connections like that.

Drove through the scenic countryside about 20 miles to my hotel. Checked in - have a nice junior suite - had dinner at the restaurant, talked to B, and went to bed around 10 est.

I am looking forward to today. Not the drive per se, but the class. I like teaching this class and it should be fun.

Y7 D33

At the airport sitting at my gate. I board in about 47 minutes according to the big board. Got my upgrade on my first flight at least. It really is the one that counts. This way I will get breakfast which is good as I am hungry as shit.

Had a good day yesterday. Managed to get through some of my blues. Didn't do much of anything during the day. B got up late, but I was up early to check in and then fell back to sleep on the couch from 7 until about 9. Played some video games until she got up. Then we just hung out. We went to popeye's for an early dinner, watched some OITNB (almost done, only 30 minutes to watch), then headed out around 8:50 for the show. Got to the theater a little after ten. GOOD crowd. This was my last emcee gig for a while and it went well. I did it in record time, didn't miss anything, and had the crowd going. Felt good to end on a high note. The show itself went smooth as well. Only issue was some girl got glitter in her eyes and got bent about it. We ended up giving her two free tickets to a future show.

Tired as hell right now, but feeling okay. Ohio, here I come.

Y7 D32

Up so I can check in for my flight. I haven't slept past 5am in so long I have forgotten what it's like. Tonight/tomorrow I won't sleep at all since I am going straight from the show tonight to the airport then on to Ohio. When I get back I would like just one day where I sleep past 6. Just one please.

Worked on updating one of our classes yesterday. Got groceries for B since I will be gone. Power watched 5 episodes of OITNB. Basically a boring ass day.

What am I doing with my life? Why don't I have more ambition? Why don't I want to do anything? What's wrong with me?

Too many questions and not enough answers. I'm feeling a wave coming on. I think it's good I am going out of town this week. Let me stew in my own sadness away from everyone. Sometimes I do believe I should be away from people.

In happier news, the kid got a job. Plus she doesn't have to start until after the 4th which means she gets a little bit of a break before having to go back to it. Good for her. At least one of us is doing something right.

Y7 D31

I knew I was forgetting to do something this morning. I am trying to work already while doing my normal morning stuff and I almost forgot to make a post. Sheesh. I have been up for an hour already and cannot get a dynamic cube to start up or import my data correctly. Not that any of you know what that means, but trust me, it sucks. We need a new server image to redo a bunch of our classes and I am trying to get it all tested before I leave for Ohio this weekend. 5:43am and I am stressed. Go me.

Yesterday was a bit up and down. I did a webinar for two hours, worked on some of the stuff I am working on now, but mostly kind of meandered around through stuff.

I did do one thing fun during the day - I watched the premier of Mr. Robot. FUCKING LOVE THAT SHOW. Wow. It blew my mind. Excellent stuff. I am excited to see how the rest of the episodes are. Well written, a good protagonist, real computers with real operating systems. Me likee.

Played some Lego Batman. Went out to dinner with some friends. THAT was a flop for sure. We needed to drop something off at a friend's house and they asked if we wanted to join them for "food trucks in the park" in the next town over. Sure, why not? Food trucks can be awesome. Yeah, not in this case. We get there and it's one taco truck, some people grilling hot dogs, and frozen yogurt place selling pre-packaged yogurt at four times its normal price. Fail. I ended up not eating. After we went to the yogurt place in question but it was too damn crowded for me to even go inside. Hung out with them at their house for a while afterwards. Got back home around 9.

B took the cat to the vet while I worked yesterday. Turns out she needs a tooth extraction. Fuck me. They want $900 to do it. Um, I have string and a fucking doorknob thanks.

My mind is all over this morning. One of those days.

Y7 D30

Thursday I think. I am very confused this week. Having Monday off is throwing me off. Then teaching on a Tuesday and a Wednesday is making it worse. I am not sure what day it is. I just realized I got up hours earlier than I needed to this morning. Oh well.

Full day of teaching yesterday. Followed by some video gaming, some TV, and nice relaxing time with B. Made pork chops for dinner. Nothing exciting happened. No drama. No issues.

I wish all days could be like that.

I really don't have a lot to say this morning since not a lot is going on. Getting ready to put in an application at a place tomorrow. Need to finish packing for both the move and my trip next week. I am not looking forward to the stress of the next couple of weeks. I leave Sunday, get home Friday, then we leave again on Sunday. Not much time in between to do a whole lot. But it will be worth it. It has to be worth it, right?

Y7 D29

Taught a decent class yesterday. Four students. All seemed to be doing okay except for one who had slow internet issues. He understood the material but kept getting behind because of system delays. He was the only one having trouble so I know it wasn't anything on my side. Finished up class around 2:30.

I took a nap after class. I need to stop doing that. I am just so tired after class that I can't help it but it throws me off. I didn't fall asleep until 11:30 because of it which means now I am super tired. I have actually been up for almost a half hour but was having bowel issues. I must have ate something that didn't work with my poor stomach.

Meh, better that than the issues of the past.

I am still happier being home than I was the whole weekend away. After my nap B ended up taking one because she had a headache. I played some video games while she slept. She had made a pot pie the last time I was on the road and we had that for dinner. We then spent the next three hours watching OITNB season 3. Neither of us is into it yet. It just lacks the punch of the first two seasons so far. It's only 13 episodes and we will stick with it, just not grabbing us yet.

Made two reservations yesterday for August. First for D23 from which we go straight to a client in the same area. If my math is correct, by the end of August I should be looking at another year of Diamond for sure. It all depends on if they count my stay in Portland. Since it was done with points I don't know if I get credit. If I do, then I am 2 to the good. If not, I need three more nights which isn't a big deal.

Today is another full day of training. I am going to try and NOT nap after class. Let's see how that goes.

Y7 D28

Took us forever to get home yesterday. We left the hotel around 9:30 after having breakfast downstairs. Between traffic and an unplanned stop at a Disney store, we didn't get home until almost 5:30. 8 hours of traffic and heat and a long bloody drive.

The drive itself wasn't anything exciting, just long. We hit a couple of really bad patches out in the middle of nowhere as they were doing construction and merged down into one lane for about 3 miles. That cost us almost an hour of our trip.

Once we got home, we had a light dinner of watermelon and salad. The kid stuck around until about 8 to make her drive home easier. I caught up on emails and the like as we did laundry. Went to bed around 10:30.

I am finally doing a little better. What was supposed to be a needed getaway ended up frustrating more than helping and frankly I am happier being home. I have two days of training to do and need to get prepped.

Y7 D27

Yesterday was a mostly better day until the very end. We took our time getting up, had breakfast at DTD, had a drink at Trader Sam's, went and saw Inside Out (really good btw), went into the park, had fun walking around, went on rides, spent way too long at mad t, went back over to disneyland, watched paint the night, came back to the hotel.

There's Sunday. Now I go home. We are leaving around 10 to avoid traffic. Let's see how that works out for us.

Y7 D26

Attitude of the moment = whatever. There is seriously something wrong with me. Not even being down here is making me happy. Yesterday was a mix of too fucking hot, too many fucking people, spending too much money. Boy what a magical fucking time.

Drove all night. Got here at about 5:20am a little ahead of schedule. Things were okay at this point. The weather was actually quite nice. We had breakfast and we were having a good time. We drove over to the parking lot, waited for a little while, got in, and headed to the gates. We were in DCA right around 8 and there is TOO MUCH 60th anniversary stuff. Seriously. TOO MUCH. It's fucking overloading my senses. I can't take it and need to leave the store.

We go on a few rides and that's when things go sour. The sun is starting to come out, people are starting to get cranky, B snaps at me over something stupid, and I decide fuck it. I am just not going to piss anyone off the rest of the day. Luckily our friend arrives around 10 and B and the kid no longer rely on me to provide their entertainment. I can brood by myself.

We have lunch together around noon, and as we're heading out to go to DTD I stop in the watch shop and look at a watch. It was a nice watch and I was enjoying my fantasy moment of owning it when she snaps at me again. This time saying something about watches versus health care and I came THIS close to popping off and saying "you want fucking health care?? get a fucking job" but I kept my mouth shut.

Eventually we ended up at the hotel where we all slept from around 4 - 7.  We headed to Bubba Gump's for dinner which would have been better if I hadn't been in a shit mood still.

Got back to the room around 9, read, got on the internet, etc. All were asleep by 11, even miss 4am.

Let's see if today is any better a day.

Y7 D25

12:01am, technically Saturday.

Leaving in about an hour.

Big issue from yesterday? Finding out I am being raped by Chase. Apparently they decided to raise my interest rate. I will be calling them on Monday to see what can be done about a 27% interest rate. Yeah, you read that right. TWENTY FUCKING SEVEN PERCENT. That should be illegal. I will NEVER pay it off. I need $14000. I would rather take a personal loan at 10% or even 15% than deal with this fucking shit.

You see why I stress? I try to get ahead and then get fucked in the ass.

Other news, finished class. Took a nap. Kid came over around 9. We played Mortal Kombat.

Now we go to Disneyland. Fucking Chase.

Y7 D24

In 24 hours I will be almost to the park. In 28 hours I will be in the park. One day to go.

Pretty boring day yesterday. My class was all day and it was the stressful day. We went right up to the mark and everyone was glad for it to be over. I had a couple of internet related issues during the first part of class which culminated in my entire connection dropping at lunch. That was cause for stress for sure. Luckily it waited until lunch to drop completely but man was that a hectic time for a while. In the end all was good and while everyone was tired they all got through the material pretty well.

After class I dropped B at a friend's house. It was their anniversary and they asked if we could watch their kid for a couple of hours while they went out and celebrated. Sure, no problem. Before we went there we grabbed some dinner. I didn't want to stay so I left B and came back and played some video games until it was time to pick her up around 8. Got back and watched Masterchef. Seriously that show puts me on the edge of my seat. I just want to smack some of the contestants. A rather useless one went home this episode. Heck we didn't even know her name.

Went to bed at 10 exactly. I need to get as much sleep as possible tonight because it's going to be a long one tomorrow, that's for sure. I will probably post right at midnight so don't expect anything exciting tomorrow.

Y7 D23

Only two more days until we are in the park! I can do this! I am not even ready for this trip but I so need this trip. Haven't been to the park since February. That seems like forever ago. This year has been going by at a weird pace. I can't believe it's almost July to be honest. A lot has gone on in the last year. Well you know, you read this.

Taught a full class yesterday. First class this size in a while that understood the concept of the mute button without me having to repeat myself 50 times. That was refreshing. This class tends to attract a certain type of student who has a little more intelligence than some of our other classes. They have to if they're going to succeed using the tool. Finished up class around 2:30 and needed a nap. Naps are so good. I like naps. The one thing from childhood that no one should ever have to lose. There's a reason why whole countries would take naps. That is until we butted in and imposed our western views on them. I need to move to a country that understands the glory of the nap.

When I woke up we went out to try and find something for this trip. I wanted a new day bag and B wanted a new backpack also for this trip. I needed something to put pins, suntan lotion, wallet, water, etc in that isn't a messenger bag. Those kind of bags are too bulky to use at the park all day. I recently have been using a little Stitch backpack but that doesn't have enough pockets on the inside and it would be frustrating digging through it all the time. So yes, I needed some kind of purse that would work. Six stores and three hours later I found one at Ross that works. Not too girly but not some 'manly' messenger bag either. Enough pockets for things to be organized and a think enough strap that it won't fall all over the place either. I wanted something that had a strap that could work either cross body or one shoulder. Success. We also grabbed some dinner while we were out, Red Robin. We both had a somewhat healthy meal. B had a spinach wrap and I had a wedge salad with a teriyaki burger.

Got back home and watched the end of Friends. It's taken us 3 months I think since we started watching, but we did it. We made it through 10 seasons of Friends. Not bad since I watched the original over 10 years. Next up for us is OINTB season 3. We have been waiting to watch it because we didn't want to be dealing with multiple shows. Well she didn't. I don't mind. Either way, one down, only 300 unwatched TV shows to go.

I went to bed around 10:40 and slept pretty well. In a few day 2 of class begins. Then just one more day and I am park bound!

Y7 D22

Coming at you live from my big machine once more! New HDD installed and rocking it. So happy to have this machine back operational. After almost a week of using the laptop monitor (the external one) I realize just how sharp and clear this screen is. Man what a difference. The repair guy showed up around 11 as promised and he was done by 12:30. Around 2, I started in on the task of reinstalling stuff, moving documents over, etc. Only took a couple of hours to get this thing right back the way I need it. Not bad at all.

I also finished the training I was working on. That's a huge project put to bed. 203 slides, 37 demos. It's one of the largest classes I have written in a while. I am really proud of it and while I know there will be changes, I think it's pretty darn good. Gave it to my boss and one of my co-workers for review yesterday afternoon. Let's see what kind of feedback they have.

In other work news, one of my past clients included me on an email where they want more training from me in August and November. One more year of Diamond, here I come. I should be only 3-4 nights away with everything that is already booked.

Next thing I have to take care of this week is figuring out where we're going to live soon. We have been holding out for a house to rent, but I don't think that's going to happen. It's just too challenging being so far away and trying to find a place. Maybe after we move there we can check the neighborhoods out, but for now I think we may get stuck being in an apartment. I know B's going to hate it, but what choice do I have?

Right now I just want to focus on the next three days of class. I have a big group and it's going to be a challenge. If I get through that though, then I am off to Disneyland this weekend. Just three more days.

Y7 D21

That was some of the best REM sleep I have had in a while. I am sure there are studies to back this up, going to bed happy makes for a better night's sleep in my opinion. Sometimes I need the catharsis that writing provides to get all the negative out of me. I wrote B a letter yesterday morning apologizing for being suck a dick over the weekend. It was less of an apology and more of a 'hey here's what's bugging me right now' and the act of doing that helped release it from me. It let me be in a better mood yesterday. I was also able to get quite a bit accomplished on the curriculum I am writing which felt good too. I needed the act of getting something done to help me over my grump hump. Needed to feel that something is in my control. I really do think that's why I hate traffic so much. I feel helpless to do anything and can't accomplish anything. It's just sitting. I don't mind just sitting when I am in control of just sitting. Anything that's forced upon me is going to piss me off.

After working yesterday, B and I went on a hunt. A hunt for some clothes to wear in this damn heat and for this weekend. We are off to the park this weekend for Father's Day and I have been frustrated with my clothing choices. Specifically my options in shorts. I have none. None that fit anyway. Before we left I got a call from the computer guy. He will be here at 11am today to fix my hard drive. Yay!

Got to the mall around 4 and proceeded to go to about 12 different stores. In the end I found two pairs of shorts and a tank and she found two dresses to wear. Dresses are the most convenient thing in the world. One piece so you don't have to match, you always look nice even though you literally pulled it over your head, you can make it work for both casual and business settings, and you're always cooler than when wearing pants. Believe you me, if society didn't suck, I would wear nothing but dresses. Alas, society does in fact suck and I instead found shorts. The upside is I did find shorts. That makes me happy. They were also on sale. I spent maybe $40 on both shorts and the shirt. After our successful shopping excursion we had some dinner and headed home. Got back home around 7:30 and relaxed. We have been playing Lego Marvel and we are at 90% completion. So close! We played until about 11 when I went off to bed and she stayed up to write. Some day she will push a book out of her even if she doesn't see it.

In the end, it was a much better day. Today I have to finish up writing 7 more demos, deal with the computer guy, and prep for the rest of the week's classes. I have six students Weds - Friday and it's the hard class. I need to be ready for them.

Y7 D20

Everything I wanted to get accomplished this weekend I completed. From paying bills to moving things around on hard drives to making the appointment for the car's next service - done. I was still in a serious shit mood yesterday and B could tell but I don't care. Saturday just left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know why, but I was just having a rough time handling her anxiety this weekend. Sometimes it's hard being with an introvert. Especially when you don't want to be one. I am also stressed out and feel like it's not being recognized.

I am stressed about work, about the move, about what's going to happen when we move, the hard drive crashing, the boxes surrounding me, the kid and her situation, etc. Just so much going on I feel paralyzed and like I can't get enough done. I think this is why it was so important to me yesterday to get as much done as possible.

It's like the scene in Rugrats where Stu is making pancakes at 3am and he says it's because he wants at least one thing in his life he can control. Too much is out of my control right now and it's driving me nuts.

We left the house briefly yesterday to get cat food and litter. Other than that we stayed inside all day. I worked in the office and kept to my office while B read and walked on eggshells. I hate when she feels like she has to tiptoe around me but I was in a mood. Anything could have set me off and I just don't like it.

I need to work on this anger. Where is it really coming from? Why so much lately? It took me years to shed my anger and I can't have it coming back and ruining my life.

Today will be different. I promise.

Y7 D19

Yesterday was a complete and utter waste of my time. Everything was fine up until we left around 1:30. We were supposed to be there around 3, but yeah, how about 4:30? From the traffic between us and the kid (who went with us) and then the traffic going towards the beach (when you will people learn it's colder at the beach here??) I was in The shittiest mood ever.

Which really sucked because the early part of the day was fine. Apple called me at 6:32am as promised; we arranged the onsite repair job with a local shop, the local shop called me at noon to let me know they should have a hard drive Monday and be out then, worse case Tuesday. All that went swimmingly well. No issues there.

By the time we got to the party I needed to unwind. But because B doesn't drink I watch my drinking around her. I ended up having no alcohol at what was primarily an alcohol driven event. Then she "got tired". Her words for her social anxiety kicking into high gear and her becoming clingy and not wanting to be around people. Fine. We will leave. I will spend more time driving today than actual being somewhere. No, not a fucking problem at all.

This made for a very quiet drive home where she ended up falling asleep. Whatever.

We got home around 9:30 and she went to bed. I went to bed later at 11. She's still asleep. I have been up since 5:30.

I need to organize files today. And be left the fuck alone.

Y7 D18

Happy Kraken Day! Yep. It's that time again. Time to Release the Kraken! Drink rum and eat Chinese food while watching Clash of the Titans. Tis a day to celebrate all things Kraken. We will be going to a Kraken party later today to celebrate.

In the meantime, I am waiting for a call at 6:30am from Apple.

Yesterday was spent dealing with the dying (now dead) HDD on my big Mac. I managed to get everything I needed off of it and either transferred to this machine or onto a backup drive. I also moved all of my music and pictures to that new 5tb drive which is now also my network backup drive. It took me HOURS to get it all done yesterday, but I was pretty calm about it (as B pointed out later in the evening) and well, it is what it is. In the end I tried reformatting the drive but it kept giving me a block error and at 10:30pm I got on a chat with an Apple Care rep who agrees the drive is toast. This morning the advisor will be calling me to setup an IN HOME appointment to have the drive replaced. I don't care how much extra it is, always buy Apple Care.

Also yesterday we took the cats into the vet for a full checkup. The kittens testing positive for FeLV had B freaked out so we took ours in for testing. Both came back negative thank goodness. Agador does have some gum issues and is now on a 10 day antibiotic regiment, but that's the extent of their problems. Otherwise, both are now caught up on immunizations and doing well.

In other news, I heard back from the kid. She got the car back from the mechanic and it was $710 but the car is solid now too. They fixed the fuel issue, ran full diagnostics on everything else, and checked to make sure none of the aesthetic issues were going to cause a problem. For less than a grand, she now has a car that should last her a couple of years with regular minor maintenance. I also treated her and I to something in October. There's a concert - Aftershock - and she wanted to go to just one of the two days. I looked over the lineup and got us VIP tickets for that day. On that day we will see amongst others, Faith No More, Stone Temple Pilots, Jane's Addiction, Eagles of Death Metal, and Suicidal Tendencies. $140 for the tickets (each) but for at least 5 good bands? Worth it. It's October 25th and she will need a break by then.

I did some baking yesterday too. Made an Orange Cranberry pound cake to bring to the party. For dinner I made shrimp in pasta with a nice salad. I made the mistake of weighing myself at the vet (yes on the dog scale) and I didn't like the number. I need to get back down. No more processed shit. I need to be down a certain amount by the end of the year to make myself happy. I think after we move I should be able to work towards that goal. If not, I will be in trouble.

Speaking of weight loss, I want to commend my friend who has been struggling with his weight for a long time. Over the last year he has lost over 150 pounds. I am super proud and excited for him. This will make his life so much more fulfilling and it really makes me excited to see him getting healthier.

Time to shower before Apple calls.

Y7 D17

I made a very smart decision yesterday. I decided to leave class at noon to beat all the traffic home. I discussed it with instructor before hand and asked what I might miss in the afternoon, etc. I was already through the material and nothing was coming back as surprising or difficult and I confirmed with her there wasn't anything extra she was going to cover. I ended up leaving class right at 12 on the dot, caught the train, and was on the road by 1:02. I made it home just a hair past 2pm. Perfect. About 6 hours ahead of plan.

I came home to a spotless house which was a wonderful thing. I was so happy when I got home. Not only was B excited I was home early, but everything was clean, smelled good, and was beautifully organized. Talk about relaxing.

After unpacking and settling in a bit, B and I went out to run errands. First we went to Target because we needed Brita filters. After we popped into Best Buy. I needed a new external to try and back up the dead machine. Which is still dead by the way. Mostly. I will explain in a minute. As I was looking at small drives (they had a 2tb for $99, portable size), B pointed out the 5tb for $149. This was the same kind I already use on my network so screw it. For $50 more I am getting 3 more terrabytes. After the drive we went to WinCo for all the groceries. I do like shopping there. For $160 we got a basketful full of food. I never feel like I am getting ripped off when I shop there. That's a nice thing.

Since it was eleventybillion degrees out, we rushed to get everything home and put away. After, B wanted to go to her favorite place - Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah, I know. We go inside and the place is packed. I forgot it was an NBA game. And when I asked if they had anything available they all laughed. I then asked how long people stay because I don't know, it's a fucking restaurant?, they once more laughed at me. Sorry I don't fucking like sports. We ended up next door at Red Robin which was empty and the food was way better and B was still totally happy. Like super happy.

Got back home, cuddled on the couch for a while, and then we ended up in the office. I showed her some of the stuff I was learning this last week and it for once impressed her. She actually could see herself using it and understanding it which is huge. One of the reasons why we think we will be successful selling this product. It's very intuitive no matter your skills. I then started in on the arduous process of trying to recover files off my big Mac. Heh. Big Mac. I made an Ubuntu startup stick and got it to boot. I then tried to plug in the 5tb only to discover Ubuntu can't address it. Fuck sticks. I had to find some blank 16gb jumps and work from there. All in all, I got the majority of my files off and on the laptop. I still have some directories to go, but I got the ones of the most importance. I am still using the 5tb mind you. I am currently moving pics and music to it as well as prepping it as a NAS backup. I should finish that today. Then I can see about doing a recovery on the big machine. Wish me luck.

First up today is a vet appointment for the cats. Turns out those kittens we rescued had FeLV and may have spread it. Yay.

Y7 D16

9:06pm. That's the time I got back to my hotel room last night. Which on its own doesn't sound like much of an achievement until you learn what I had to drink:

- 2 shots of fireball
- 3 vodka tonics
- 1 peach martini
- 2 whiskey things

All consumed within a roughly 4 1/2 hour period. I did eat in there too. Some beautiful smoked octopus, a scotch egg, and half a slice of one of the best pear pies. This is why I was skinnier when I drank. I just realized I didn't eat shit last night. Huh. Oh well.

All of this debauchery was with a friend who I haven't seen in almost a year. She said it's been four years since we met. It's actually been three as I went back and read the blog entry from the day we met. I remember the day I met her. I was in the city with a friend shopping for dresses for Pride and this crazy girl met up with us later for drinks and that was it. I woke up the next day on her couch. I knew this was someone I needed in my life. We have a good friendship. The kind where you don't see each other for a year but you can pick up like it was two days. I like that. Not needy, not demanding. I wish there were more people like her.

The earlier part of the day was spent training. Day three, moved on to advanced topics. I am mostly enjoying the topics at this point. More challenging stuff. That was pretty much my whole day until 4:30.

Got back, chatted with B briefly about some cat stuff, then went to bed.

Tonight I head back home after class. But since I won't deal with traffic, going to bum around the mall first. I will wait until about 7 or so to get on the road.

Y7 D15

I don't know who I feel worse for this morning. The maids who have to put back together the bed I destroyed in my "sleep" or the neighbors who though there was a bulldozer in the room next door. I slept in total shifts last night. Twenty minutes here, an hour there, a couple of hours on a big one. I can't breathe, my head hurts already, fuck this.

Yesterday was annoying. I was through all the material by 9:15. Class started at 8:30. I am the kind of person who self teaches. But if I am not in a formal classroom environment I will dawdle, procrastinate, etc. I need to be in a formal setting, but I need to go at my own pace. It's a pain. So what I did all day was read a book. Literally. I had my tablet on the desk in front of me much like the kid with a comic book hidden in his schoolbook and I read all day. I finished the books Mort(e). It's a pretty good book. I think the story got away from him a little at the end but overall it's an enjoyable book that makes you think.

I left class at 3 because I was just done. There was probably an hour left, but whatever. I was supposed to meet friends for dinner but I just couldn't. My head was hurting again, I was not in the mood to be sociable at all. I am also very worried about the kid, depressed about things, and just not in a good mood all around. Hence it was better for me to go straight back to the hotel and not be around people.

I got back to the room a little after four and slept until 6. I then went to a burger place behind the hotel and had a semi-decent burger for dinner. Came back, watched Sense8 (huh???), talked to B, then just said fuck it and went to bed.

I am depressed right now. So many reasons, I can't pinpoint it to just one. If the words come to me, I will share them. Otherwise, just know I am not doing well in my head but I will fake it.

Y7 D14

Something is eating the fucking battery on my phone again. This happens every now and then. Some process goes rogue and starts eating away at my goddamn battery. I hate phones sometimes. I wish things would just behave.

Left the hotel yesterday around 6:20 and got to the city at 7:10. I was trying to catch a 6:46 train and ended up just catching the 6:31. I was way too early at the training center. It was interesting spending the day on the other side of the table. The instructor is okay. She is way too young and has spent way too many years in academia and very little time in the real world. The other students in class are okay as well but they are end users and they move slower than I would like. We got through section 7 (of 15) in the book yesterday, except I am through section 13. I didn't mean to get that far ahead, it just happened.

We finished around 4:10 and I managed to catch a 4:33 train back. Got my car and drove to meet the kid for dinner. We had the most interesting indian food. Modern indian instead of your traditional style recipes. Excellent stuff. We also talked about how things are going for her. She is out looking for places. I am really proud of her.

Got back to the hotel around 8, played some baseball, talked to B, went to bed at 10. Today should be more of the same. I don't know how I am going to keep myself interested for 8 hours of class though. I will be done with the material by lunch at the latest. Sigh.

Y7 D13

The HDD on my big Mac is toast. I spent almost all of the morning dealing with it and that's the verdict. Luckily I still have a year left on the warranty and I can have it repaired but the downside is I need TWO fucking folders off of it. I just need it to boot long enough to get those folders. After spending many hours of trying to fuck with it, I managed to create a bootable Ubuntu USB drive which at least let me see the folders. It wouldn't let me copy because I wasn't root, but I know now I can see them. I didn't finish because I needed to leave. With the exception of about 45 minutes at the store getting stuff for B, I spent from 7am to 2pm trying to deal with this machine. At 3, I left. I got to the hotel around 4, plugged in the PS4, ordered Chinese food, and turned into a couch potato. That part of the day was rather enjoyable.

You don't know how much I am looking forward to this week. A week of being on the other side of the fence and without any of my normal work colleagues around. I just get to be a face in the crowd. I am leaving in a few to get up there but first I need to shower.

Y7 D12

I am typing this on my laptop right now because my desktop machine is misbehaving. I think it is doing the same thing the other big machine did - dying hard drive. I am running diagnostics on it right now. Let's see what happens. I am about to go on the road for 4 days and really do not want to be dealing with this shit right now. I also may have other issues since I am running Beta OSX on it and it might be something related to that. The HDD check just came back and it looks okay. But I am just going to leave it alone for now and let it be. I will deal with it when I get back Thursday night. Plain and simple.

Had a good day yesterday. Woke up and started in on packing as planned. I ended up getting five boxes packed but they were five good boxes. All my disney stuff and two boxes of clothes. I made a good dent in my closet which is something I was hoping to do. After B woke up we worked together on getting the kittens ready to go to their forever home. B wasn't feeling well and really didn't get up until almost 2. I also played some baseball. I went to the store at one point to get us stuff for a late lunch/early dinner. We planned on meeting the kid for dinner but that wasn't going to be until 9pm. We ate around 4 to make sure we wouldn't be dying come 9. Left the house around 8 with all the kittens and our show stuff. B took her car, I took mine. We got to the kid around 9, gave her the car, and went to dinner.

She tried to explain what was going on with her and the KBF but she isn't even sure. When you have two introverts who hate arguing, it makes it hard to really know what's going on. They are in a bit of a limbo. Hopefully they will square things away and figure it out sooner rather than later. I think it's going to take some outside catalyst to move things.

After dinner we went and did the show. No issues there. We did leave early because B still wasn't feeling well. Got home around 3 and that's when I discovered the issue with the big machine. I said screw it and went to bed around 4.

This morning I need to finish packing, get B some groceries, then I am leaving. I am only going to be 60 miles away, but it's still a week away from home. I am actually looking forward to it. Normally B would go with me on a trip like this, but she is choosing to stay home and do more packing. Thank you. I do truly appreciate that because we need to get shit packed. I am losing another week at the end of the month plus we are going on vacation that first week of July. So I am stressing about things being packed and her staying home makes me feel better.

That's about it. Just cross your fingers my big machine starts behaving when I get home.

Y7 D11

Got B's car running last night. More importantly, it started right up when I went out there this morning and tried it. THAT makes me happy. Now I can give it to the kid with no stress. We're not out of the woods yet; it still has a ton of things wrong with it, but at least it starts and can be in a place for her to take it to mechanic and get the rest of the stuff looked at.

Yesterday when I got up, I went and transferred the battery to my trunk and while I was teaching B went and purchased a new one. After class, I put it in and vroom. Right up. She then took it over to our friend's house and washed it. The car hasn't looked this good since she moved here. By the time she got back it was a little after 6. While she was gone I relaxed. I was a bit stressed out yesterday for some reason. I think it was the dread of something going wrong. On top of that, the washing machine was being stupid and I had to take out wet clothes and reset it. I was hot, wet, frustrated, and just done with the week. I didn't feel like cooking so we went to Popeye's for dinner. Got back, watched a little TV.

We watched the latest episode of Masterchef and dear god that made me anxious. Like for real on the edge of my seat yelling at the TV anxious. That show stresses me out. After we played some Lego together. I feel so lucky to have a wife who will play games with me. It's a great way to spend time together and do something we both like.

Went to bed around 11.

Tonight we have a show and today I plan on packing. My goal is ten boxes today. Let's see how I do. Tomorrow I have to leave for a week of training. I will just be on the other side of the bridge, but it's still 4 days away. I am thinking about bringing the PS4 with me. At least sit in a hotel and play some stuff.

Y7 D10

New show comes through today - Sense8. I do like Netflix dropping whole shows at once. Makes for a full day of downloading, but also makes it easy to watch a whole season. Yesterday I got a bug up my ass and grabbed Carnivale, Falling Skies, and one I hadn't thought about years, John from Cincinnati. For Christmas this year I totally need to get another hard drive. 8tb. Dedicated to nothing but TV.

I am still in a bit of a funk but it would appear I am not the only one. My sister was having an awful day yesterday too. Maybe it's a sibling vibe we share. Who knows. I managed to get through class with no issues and then afterwards we drove about 60 miles to a graduation dinner for a friend. Since we didn't know what traffic was going to be like we left way too early and sat in a parking lot for over an hour. But to be honest we didn't hit any traffic thanks to leaving super early. We did indeed end up being the first ones there. The guest of honor was over 40 minutes late but whatever. It was pretty fun. We did Korean BBQ and the tab was paid for which was even more fun. We were 2 of 20 people at this party. Two of our other friends were there and they were in a bit of a funk as well. The woman was in a cranky mood and given my mood I was sympathetic. Dinner was good. B almost caught on fire thanks to a rogue ash from the grill popping and landing on her dress. That was not cool. It was all you could eat grill your own style and it ended up being more work than I wanted for a Thursday. We got home from there around 9:30.

I took B's battery out of her car yesterday. She is supposed to go buy a new one today while I am teaching. If all goes well we can have the new battery in tonight and make sure the car is running for the kid tomorrow. Nothing new on that front.

When we got home I checked all my downloads and conversions and ended up staying up until almost 11:30 which sucks as I am not even awake right now due to lack of sleep. I would like a nap this afternoon but that may not be in the cards if I have to work on the car situation. Speaking of that, I need to check on laundry B started last night. Be right back. Wow, I am impressed. She actually remembered to take it out of the washer and into the dryer. One less thing to worry about.

Okay. Need to wake up and teach. Need to get my game face on.

Y7 D9

Adventure abounded yesterday. Adventure with kittens. Adventure with cars. Adventure with, well that was about it.

Got up in the morning and went to check on the kittens we have been watching on the porch. Not there. Shit fuck damn. We are scheduled to give them up to people this Saturday and I have been worried they would be too big by then and would be off exploring the world. I was right. When B got up we began the hunt for them. We tracked them down to the pool area and then spent over an hour trying to flush them out of a bush to get them in the house. In the end we got them but it was a pain in the ass. They are now living in B's bathtub until Saturday. They are so shook up from the whole experience. She bathed them and cleaned them up but they are freaking out and won't leave each other. At least they are together.

We then dealt with the kid and trying to get B's car ready for her. I need to go get a battery tomorrow to make sure it's ready for Saturday as well. I am really hoping it starts with no trouble once we put a battery in. I am stressing that it won't.

I stress a lot.

I wish I could relax but lately I feel like everything is just stressing me out.

I did manage to get some work done at least. Not as much as I wanted but enough.

Had burritos for dinner.

Went to bed.

Just not doing well.

Y7 D8

Up later than normal because I discovered yesterday I was all confused about my schedule this week. We have to classes with very similar names and I was supposed to teach one today. But it turns out it's actually the other one and it's my coworker who is teaching it tomorrow. I have classes scheduled for tomorrow and Friday as well which is what was confusing me. Regardless, I am open today and need to work on curriculum so I slept in for an extra hour.

On our front things were mostly quiet. B and I did get into a discussion about December which made no one happy. She wants to go back home for Christmas but we can't decide on dates that work for both of us. I am being a dick about traveling certain days because I don't want to be dealing with the masses, she wants me to be there a certain number of days to meet family, and she doesn't want me sitting around bored while she hangs out with friends. In the end we may have reached a compromise that works for both of us. We shall see.

I booked our next Disneyland trip in a few weeks for Father's Day. The kid is coming with us and she needs it. She was the main source of drama yesterday. Turns out that after all this time - what 3 years I think? - her and the KBF are breaking up. He is at a crossroads in his life where he doesn't know what he is doing or what he wants and he knows the kid isn't ready for marriage so it looks like that chapter of her life is closing. Big deal since they live together, she uses his dad's car, and she still has three semesters of school left. I don't know how things played out as they were talking last night, but me and B helped try to give her options on where to live, sell her B's car ('sell' her the car as in she can have it if she takes care of some of the mechanical issues), etc. She was handling everything pretty well last night when I talked to her but who knows how things are going today. We also agreed to take her snake if it comes down to it. Joy. I just want her to be happy. But losing her job and now this all within a month sucks ass. Hence she needs a Disney trip. That will at least take her mind off some things. I will say that when I talked to her yesterday she seemed excited about the possibilities to be honest. I think she realized that this opens up new doors for her. She can move anywhere after she graduates, she can explore the world, have some dumb fun for a while, and I think for once, be herself. KBF's issue we both agree comes from his work. He got lucky in his job to have as high a position as he does at a young age. But it's coming with a price. He is working with people twice his age who are at a different stage in their life. It's confusing him a bit. He is comparing himself to the wrong people. It is probably stressing him out which is why he all of sudden wants to buy a house and is worried about investments, and the like. These aren't inherently bad things and good for him, but it's also making him question other things like his relationship with the kid. Fair enough. I think they can make this separation amiable for both of them. We will see how it all plays out. I told her I would call her tomorrow and check up on her.

After class B and I went to the store for some groceries and such. Got back, made breakfast for dinner, and then B started getting a headache and ended up falling asleep on the couch for an hour. I played Witcher. I am really enjoying that game and while I am not doing very well, it is still fun. I think I would like to get an hour or two in tonight. I have trouble playing games like that sometimes, especially when someone else is home. I feel guilty about it. I know I shouldn't but I do. It's because every woman I have known prior to B would give me the guilt trip about taking up the TV and 'wasting my time' playing a video game. The advantages to having a younger wife. I ended up going to bed around 10 as I was tired.

As I mentioned, today is doc writing, some packing, some more groceries we forgot, hair dye day (yay! and actually I am doing it right now as I type), and some video gaming. A good day planned.

On a side closing note I want to pipe in about Caitlyn Jenner. I have been reading too many tweets and posts on Shitbook (what you all call Facebook) that say "lol I am not calling them that". Well fuck you. The best response I have read has been "You don't say Norma Jean Monroe, now do you?" Regardless of how you feel about her transition, at least respect her name choice. Think about your own friends who use their middle name or have a nickname or who have changed their last name or simply changed their name because they hated their birthname. You don't disrespect them do you? Use her correct name assholes. And keep your opinion about her transition to yourself. It doesn't impact you so fuck off. That's my two cents.

Y7 D7

I am in a blue mood right now. It came on me yesterday afternoon and I couldn't shake it off. It was so bad I went to bed at 9:15 because I just didn't want to be awake any more. I think it was just a combination of things all hitting me at once.

It started in the mid afternoon - I was teaching and I got an email from my directors saying they wanted me to just sit at the next show "for my health". Long story short there was a misunderstanding that they thought I was looking to sue cast for my leg. Not only is it ridiculous that I would sue them, there'd be no point in suing the cast. I mean seriously, what would I get out of it? First off I signed a waiver when I started saying I wouldn't hold anyone liable for injuries sustained at a show. Pretty standard thing. But one person heard one thing and it got blown out of proportion and next thing you know I am on the phone arguing with them. In the end I got an apology but it made me start thinking about how soon we will be giving up shows because we are moving. A new chapter of our lives is about to start later this year and it scares me. Moving somewhere new with no friends, no knowledge of the area is a fucking scary thing. I am too old to keep starting over. What's the point?

Then I get the mail and the bill for the MRI finally arrived. $1681. Fuck me. I have $800 from the page my sister set up but it's not enough. Plus I have to still have surgery which is another $4100 out of my pocket. I should have had surgery 7 weeks ago but I just can't. I tried calling the hospital to see what they could do and the best they could offer me is a payment plan. Fine. I will send them $1000 up front and then $300 for two months. It will kill me, especially given the move but okay. I just wish I could get a little bit more on the gofundme page. Like another $300 or $400 would make the burden less.

On top of all this, B was in a bitchy mood yesterday and was snapping at me over things. I didn't want to yell back at her because I was in a lousy mood so I just kept my distance. Shut down and retreated. It's easier that way.

Then there was the neighbor issue. Once more yesterday at 7am when I started class, they started banging on the wall. I wrote a letter up and stuck it to their door apologizing but saying there was little I could do about the cheap quality of walls. I also mentioned we can hear them which let's see if they take that to heart. We will find out in two hours if they read my note when I start class.

Second day of class today. I am on auto-pilot a bit with this class but whatever. I just want to get through the week.

Y7 D6

June! Welcome to June. Only one month and 5 days until my birthday. I have stopped getting as excited about that little piece of information than I used to in the past. Why? Because I am old dammit. No more birthdays please. I wish I could have stopped at 38. 38 is a good age. Funny that, eh? I used to think 27 was the pinnacle. The good age. Now I realize you need a little more life experience under your belt. I must admit I always worry about that with B. She's going to hit 30 and feel she wasted her life. Sigh. Must do my best to make sure that never happens.

So yesterday. Did nothing as planned. I did a bunch of little things in the morning like time sheets, laundry, and some cleaning. I was exhausted and hot all day which led to a bit of malaise. I was craving Vietnamese food though and we did leave the house to find a place. Some damn good was found believe it or not. We were both pleasantly surprised at how good the food was for this area. That was our one and only adventure outside the house. Unfortunately it has led to some of the worst gas and intestinal issues. My stomach has been churning for 14 hours now. I hope it passes soon.

We played some video games together. Watched some TV and I went to bed around 10 because I was just struggling to stay awake all day. I forced myself not to nap so I wouldn't throw off my sleep schedule. It did hurt me though as I woke up at 3 covered in sweat and had a hard time falling back to sleep until 4:30. Worth it, but I almost got up too early.

I have a BIG class the next couple of days followed by tiny classes. It balances out for the week though and from a revenue standpoint things look good for Q2. So far about the same as Q1. We should get 90-100% of target. I won't know for sure until July, but an extra $500 - $700 in July or August won't hurt.

Time to go get prepped and ready for class.