Y7 D7

I am in a blue mood right now. It came on me yesterday afternoon and I couldn't shake it off. It was so bad I went to bed at 9:15 because I just didn't want to be awake any more. I think it was just a combination of things all hitting me at once.

It started in the mid afternoon - I was teaching and I got an email from my directors saying they wanted me to just sit at the next show "for my health". Long story short there was a misunderstanding that they thought I was looking to sue cast for my leg. Not only is it ridiculous that I would sue them, there'd be no point in suing the cast. I mean seriously, what would I get out of it? First off I signed a waiver when I started saying I wouldn't hold anyone liable for injuries sustained at a show. Pretty standard thing. But one person heard one thing and it got blown out of proportion and next thing you know I am on the phone arguing with them. In the end I got an apology but it made me start thinking about how soon we will be giving up shows because we are moving. A new chapter of our lives is about to start later this year and it scares me. Moving somewhere new with no friends, no knowledge of the area is a fucking scary thing. I am too old to keep starting over. What's the point?

Then I get the mail and the bill for the MRI finally arrived. $1681. Fuck me. I have $800 from the page my sister set up but it's not enough. Plus I have to still have surgery which is another $4100 out of my pocket. I should have had surgery 7 weeks ago but I just can't. I tried calling the hospital to see what they could do and the best they could offer me is a payment plan. Fine. I will send them $1000 up front and then $300 for two months. It will kill me, especially given the move but okay. I just wish I could get a little bit more on the gofundme page. Like another $300 or $400 would make the burden less.

On top of all this, B was in a bitchy mood yesterday and was snapping at me over things. I didn't want to yell back at her because I was in a lousy mood so I just kept my distance. Shut down and retreated. It's easier that way.

Then there was the neighbor issue. Once more yesterday at 7am when I started class, they started banging on the wall. I wrote a letter up and stuck it to their door apologizing but saying there was little I could do about the cheap quality of walls. I also mentioned we can hear them which let's see if they take that to heart. We will find out in two hours if they read my note when I start class.

Second day of class today. I am on auto-pilot a bit with this class but whatever. I just want to get through the week.