Everything I wanted to get accomplished this weekend I completed. From paying bills to moving things around on hard drives to making the appointment for the car's next service - done. I was still in a serious shit mood yesterday and B could tell but I don't care. Saturday just left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know why, but I was just having a rough time handling her anxiety this weekend. Sometimes it's hard being with an introvert. Especially when you don't want to be one. I am also stressed out and feel like it's not being recognized.
I am stressed about work, about the move, about what's going to happen when we move, the hard drive crashing, the boxes surrounding me, the kid and her situation, etc. Just so much going on I feel paralyzed and like I can't get enough done. I think this is why it was so important to me yesterday to get as much done as possible.
It's like the scene in Rugrats where Stu is making pancakes at 3am and he says it's because he wants at least one thing in his life he can control. Too much is out of my control right now and it's driving me nuts.
We left the house briefly yesterday to get cat food and litter. Other than that we stayed inside all day. I worked in the office and kept to my office while B read and walked on eggshells. I hate when she feels like she has to tiptoe around me but I was in a mood. Anything could have set me off and I just don't like it.
I need to work on this anger. Where is it really coming from? Why so much lately? It took me years to shed my anger and I can't have it coming back and ruining my life.
Today will be different. I promise.
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