Talk about rough fucking days. That memorial was hard as hell. I have been to a lot of funerals over the years. Old people ones are easier to get through. Ones for like my brother or my friend's brother are a lot harder. But fuck, burying a 14 year old? Yeah, I thought she was 15. She would have turned 15 in March. A child was remembered yesterday and it was damn hard. The dad did his best when he got up to speak but he lost it hard halfway through as did most of us in the audience. I don't wish that pain on any parent. It was a couple hours at the church followed by a couple of hours at a hall for food after. All in all, we left the house around noon and got home at 5. Long day of emotion.
The snow has come. It's white outside. Starting the year off in a blanket of pure white landscape. Appropriate I guess?
Tonight ends a decade. It's been one hell of a decade for me. From divorce, to dating mishaps, to finding new friends, to losing old ones. From making mistakes and learning from them. To finally starting to come to terms and be happy with who I am, what I have, and where I am going. To learn to be grateful, and patient. To holding on to the ones I love and keeping them safe when I can. 10 years. 10 years of life changes. Ten years of growth, backsliding, and growing some more.
To all I have hurt in the past decade, I am sorry. To all I have loved, know I will always love you.
May all of you be blessed in the decade to come. May you find your place, your space, and your contentment. Be safe. Be happy.
Happy new year.
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