Yesterday was a bad day for both me and C. Being apart is getting to us both. For me it was the overwhelming shit that needed to get done around this house all day. I woke up to piles of vomit. The dog wouldn't stop choking all day. I wanted to shove my hand down her throat at one point. Piss on the floor from the cats. Being screamed at for food because you know, they're starving. One is outside my goddamn office door right now screaming. It's all they do. I want them all gone. Yesterday was another one of those days where I realize this house is just too fucking big. To be more accurate, poorly laid out. Too many nooks and crannies. Too many weird rooms. Just cluttered. I want to clean out things. But I am stuck. At the same time I am getting pics of the northern fucking lights from Alaska. Whoop dee fucking doo. Some of us are back home keeping a roof over our heads. Fuck off. For C, it was being in a hostile environment and being sick. She was just dying all day but still being asked to do shit for people. She couldn't catch five minutes to herself. Both of us were just depressed as fuck all day. No amount of cheering up seemed to work.
Here's hoping today is better. I doubt it. But one can hope.
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