I felt one of my turns coming on last night around 7pm. I fought it. I fought it HARD. I refused to let the darkness slip over me. I refused to let the sadness and the voices of doubt in my head win out. I won. I put on happy music. I danced around like no one was watching. It worked. I ate macaroni and cheese and didn't care about the carbs. I smiled instead of cried. This is a good thing. It shows I don't need drugs, legal or illegal, I don't need booze, I don't need women, I need me. I can do this. I can make myself happy and not succumb to the inner fears and doubts.
Putzed around work yesterday. Ran out of stuff to do around 2 and faked it for the remaining part of the day. Looks like my next gig has been lined up. Three of them at once to be exact. At opposite ends of driving of course. Over the next few weeks I will be driving between 75-100 miles a day. Fuck. I hate it. I need to find a local job where I can walk to work if I wanted to. But that is neither here nor there right now. I have a job, it pays me, I go where I am told. Unless that changes, I need to suck it up.
Did laundry last night so I don't have to worry about it tonight. I don't know why, it's not like I have big plans tonight or anything. I just wanted it out of the way I guess. I need to bathe the cat this weekend and attend a karaoke memorial party tomorrow. Those are my big plans. Plus I need to do some more cleaning around the house because that never seems to end. Oh and get some groceries. Man what a fun weekend I have scheduled.
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