Y5 D83

I had the shittiest fucking day yesterday. So bad that I am going to be updating my resume this weekend. The day was awful. I trained yesterday and the class itself went fine. It was the phone call I got at lunch which threw me off, pissed me off all day, and caused me to not even want the sex last night. Yeah, that bad. I got an ass chewing from my boss for being 'available not assigned' for a couple of days last week. I felt like I was a 12 year old being dragged to the principal's office. I did everything in my power to fill my time but I still had some down time. This is NOT MY FAULT. I give them advance warning, things fell through, and shit didn't line up. What am I supposed to do, make up work? Apparently that's better than being 'unassigned'. Well fuck you. Here's the kicker - I found out later that it doesn't MATTER if I am not assigned. More on that in a minute. The call basically consisted of him throwing in my face everything the company has done for me, how they pay me a good salary, etc. It's the personal shit being thrown back at me that really pisses me off. I see the two as mutually exclusive since I am paying the company back. As for my salary? I can easily get 10-15% more for my skills on the open market. Not to mention that I haven't received a raise or a tangible bonus in almost 2 years. Do not throw at me how much I make. The worst part was at the end of the call once he was done yelling he had the nerve to try and ask about my personal life and make regular conversation. Fuck. You. From here on out I refuse to attend any of his company events or play nice. You fucked up buddy.

That was my lunchtime pep talk if you will. Which screwed my whole mood and I could hear the bitterness creeping in during the afternoon session. Just soured my whole day. I sent the guy who is actually in charge of putting me on projects an email saying that I don't need this and if they want I will just quit. He was just as surprised as I was with the phone call and apologized for it. He told me not to do anything rash and he would call me at 5:30. Fine.

Class finished at 3, we went to the dollar store because B wanted some folders, and then I came home and waited. At 5:30 exactly I got the call. Turns out that this guy, our director of training, had back in May been told that the training business has to burden the cost of my salary before he is allowed to take his salary. Meaning he has to book enough training to cover my costs and then he gets commission off the remaining. For the most part this has worked fine. He has made enough. An example is the class I am teaching right now - two days of training with 5 students covers 1/2 of my salary. I have TEN STRAIGHT DAYS booked before the end of the month. Six - eight days a month covers me. I am typically booked 10-12 a month. In his mind during those other periods I can sit and masturbate all day for all he cares. There's no issue with me having down time. None. So why did I get that phone call? We both think that something is fucked up on the consulting side of the house and they didn't book as much as they wanted. Hence go after the training division which is showing a profit. The two of us are bringing in a decent amount of money for the company with little to no overhead. At all. At the end of the conversation I felt a little better because there is another partner company down in his area that has been trying to woo him. If he could offer a package of an entire training business PLUS instructor, it sweetens the deal. My life would change zero; I would do the same thing, the same way, just for another parent company. But make more money and not have to justify my existence every few weeks. I told him that I am not against entertaining this idea.

After the call I made enchiladas for dinner. The kid got home around 7. She was having another stress day because of school and work. One crisis at a time please. I played a little Sims and went to bed around 9. B tried to get me going, but the truth was I was just so frustrated still that nothing was happening. Which made her sad because she feels like she failed. Sigh.

I am hoping today goes better. I am also hoping that no one talks to me for the next two weeks. Just leave me the fuck alone. I have a busy weekend - friends coming over tonight, rehearsal tomorrow, projects around the house scheduled for Sunday. Let's see if I make it.