Y5 D281

I had a rotten lousy day yesterday. And it was made worse by the show last night. 5 more months. In 5 months no more shows. No more Rocky. No more made up bullshit drama and getting yelled at for things I didn't do wrong.

Start in the morning - B went off to work and I went out and worked on getting the battery out of her car. Banged and scarped knuckles ensued. That just set my mood for the rest of the day. I managed to get past that but just had this chip on my shoulder for the rest of the day. B got home around 5 and I made us dinner. I made a pork roast with veggies. Dinner was fine, B is fine, everything was fine. Not great mind you, just fine.

I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. Wedding plans. Work. Moving. Cast stuff. Just too much and it's starting to take its toll on me mentally. I'd say I need to get out of town but I already did that, twice. I don't know what I need at this point but I need something to shake this mood and doing shows isn't one of them.

I knew we were going to be light on staff before even leaving for the show. This soured me even further. We got there and I got into this nasty argument with my director about people being useful, people showing up, people checking in, and she in turn attacked me personally. Telling me how people need second chances and she doesn't want any cliques on cast. I have no fucking idea how any of that is relevant to my having competent people doing their fucking jobs, but okay. Needless to say I was not in a mood where I wanted to be there last night. The minute the show was done and the truck was loaded we left. Didn't even bother saying goodbye to anyone. Just left. I am sure I will hear about that today. If anything comes of it, then fuck it. I am done.

I think I need to check out of the next show. Take a break. Have a weekend all to ourselves where we don't leave the house. Maybe start packing and get the fuck out of here early. I can always break my lease and go. Expensive, but cheaper than my mental state breaking first.