Monday, October 20, 2014

Y6 D148

I slept like shit last night. Tossing and turning. Woke up hot. Woke up cold. Just a bad night. Luckily I am currently at the hotel alone. B didn't come with me yesterday because of the kittens. Friday night at the show we were talking to one of our friends and we mentioned the kittens. Him and his girlfriend just happen to be looking for a pair of kittens. Match made in heaven. But they live almost equi-distance from the theater as we do just the opposite direction. Which means for them to come to us would be a bear. after much discussion yesterday, we decided the best thing was for them to come to our place today, get the kittens, then drop B off at the hotel as it is on their way back home. Hence, my being here alone.

We got up around 9 and cleaned and packed because originally we thought she was coming with us. It wasn't until about 1 that we had all of the above sorted out. From 9-11 we both cleaned the house crazy clean as since we will be gone for so many days we want to come home to a perfect place. Once we had the kitten situation resolved, we both relaxed for a while. I left around 3, got to hotel around 4, and settled in. It was about 4:30 when I started ironing for the week. An hour later and I was done. This is a full week - 5 shirts needed ironing. Ugh.

After ironing I took a ride. I went to the public trans station and bought my ticket for the week which will save me time this morning. I am leaving here pretty early as I have to be in the city by 7:30 and I don't know how long it's going to take me to do things. Tomorrow I can leave 30 minutes later but today is first day setup, etc so I have to be there. I will still have to stop at the parking machine, but at least my ticket is done. Grabbed L&L Hawaiian on the way back and loco moco for dinner. Went up to the executive lounge around 7 for my free evening cookie, then came back to the room and watched Scrubs until about 10. End of day.

Okay, need to get moving so I can figure out timing.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Y6 D147

I am so glad we decided not to do the show last night. Looking at social media this morning and most folks got home somewhere between 5 and 6 (or spent the night) which means had we gone we would have been closer to that 6am end of things and I would have lost this entire day. No thank you. Instead I had a wonderful night at home with B. We had a pretty good day too. Went to taco bell for lunch, came on back home, relaxed, watched some TV together (we watched like 5 hours of Blacklist. This week I managed to get B hooked on it and she wanted me to wait on starting season 2 until she was caught up. She managed to get caught up in one week and so we watched all four new episodes of Season 2 yesterday), and just had a nice day. I played some Diablo and she watched HPDHP1.

Today we have nothing going on until about 4 when we check in to the hotel.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Y6 D146

Yes, I just woke up at 10:30am. Didn't get into bed until 4:30 so I am still only running on about 6 hours of sleep. It was a super long day that's for sure. Got up normal time and taught until about 2:30. One nice thing that happened during class was I managed to get a hold of my client in Reno. When I go up there in two weeks for our Reno show, it is now a billable gig for me and I was able to put the hotel on my corporate card AND will not lose any PTO time. I don't have anything to do that night until about 7 or 8, so this way I can work from 8-3 or so and still have some time for fun and the show.

After class we went and some errands. I wanted to stop at the smoke shop and pick up some cleaning supplies for my vaporizer. I am proud to say it has been three weeks since I have had a regular cigarette. I also have managed to switch down a nicotine level on my juice. One step closer to the final goal.

After the smoke shop we hit Target for some basics we needed and some snacks for this trip. We grabbed some food on the way home and that was about it. We watched some TV, had dinner, and didn't do much of anything until it was showtime.

We got to the theater around 10 as I was one of the people scheduled to be interviewed for the documentary. That went pretty well. The crew filmed our entire performance and while they were in my way all night, I am proud to be part of something like this which will be released next September. Yes, a year. They are filming through this year, post processing, then releasing.

I think the added incentive of them being there really stepped up our game. Everyone was in a decent mood, everyone pulled their weight, and all in all we had a good time. It was rough driving home, but we made it.

Now today we need to do laundry and prep for being on the road all next week. Ready set go...

Friday, October 17, 2014

Y6 D145

To my friend: Sometimes one must do what one must do. There is no 'evil' or 'wrong'. Sometimes it's just nice to have options even if you don't ever choose them. And sometimes, just sometimes, you have to say what the fuck. Every now and then saying what the fuck brings freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future.

Yeah, I went there. Deal with it.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled insanity. Today's insanity brought to you by Blammo!

I don't know man. I am tired, okay?

Boy did I just have to poop. Seriously. Wow.

Okay. Yesterday. Taught until 2:30, took a nap from 3-4:30, made chicken taco salads for dinner, watched some TV, played Sims, went to bed. There you go.

Highlights? B talked to her grandmother. Who I should say is like most bullies; the minute she stood up to her she crumbled. This is why I was so adamant about her pushing back. I knew the minute she did it would work out. It now appears we are back on and the catering is handled. Funny how things work out sometimes, eh?

I have B watching the Blacklist. I am wanting to start season 2, but she wanted to get caught up first. Since we have that special Friday night show tonight she intentionally stayed up late so she could sleep in. When I went to bed she was on episode 11, let's see how far she got today. Might be done for all I know. We have to run some errands today after work as we are going to be gone for so long starting Sunday. Just thinking out loud now.

It was for the most part a very uninteresting day. Good.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Y6 D144

Frustration reared its ugly head once again yesterday. I am pleased with myself for really getting to the heart of the issue and realizing I am not depressed or angry but frustrated. It sums up so nicely and applies perfectly to yesterday's situation.

Taught all day until 2. We finished up about an hour early. That class needs some more demos added to it. While I am in Vegas I am going to work with my boss to discuss which classes need some more filler material in order to avoid these early finish times. If it's one or two people in a class it's okay to finish early. If it's 10, then I should be finishing no more than 15 minutes early at best. Regardless, finished up and decided to take a brief nap.

I woke up to B on the phone crying. She has given herself a stress rash over how her grandmother has been behaving regarding the catering money. Ever since B decided we are not going to invite people she doesn't give a shit about her grandmother has been silent on paying. Well it came to a bit of a head yesterday when B posted something on Facebook about eloping and her grandmother snidely commented on it. Waking up to her crying pissed me off. She wanted me to hug her and tell her it would be okay and I refused. I told her she needed to stop getting stressed out about imagined slights and conversations from her head. She needed to pick up the phone call her grandmother and end this once and for all. Find out if the bitch was paying or not. Plain and simple. Well of course B was pissed at me for not 'being supportive' of her. And I said, no I am not. I won't be supportive of you sitting here crying when you have the power to take charge of this situation. I went off in the other room and I could hear the front door open and close. 20 minutes later she came back to tell me she made the phone call, they have a plan to discuss it today in more detail, and that her grandmother is upset because she already told these people they were invited to which B said well that's your fault for jumping the gun, now isn't it? I was extremely impressed and proud of her doing that. THAT is what I wanted her to do instead of sitting there crying. She was still pissed at how I handled it, but she understood. The problem is that while I had time to sit by myself, I got frustrated. Frustrated at the fact that I couldn't just tell her "here, here's $3500 for catering. you don't need to feel beholden to that woman". I should have been able to do that. Therein lies my frustration. I shouldn't be stressed out about taking care of this wedding. But I am.

I ended up going out to the other room to make dinner (pork chops) but then went right back into the office. I stayed in there until I could calmly explain all this to her. Which I did around 10. We stayed up talking and watching TV until about midnight. So yes, once again I am running on less than 5 hours sleep. Yay me.

Two day class starts today. 9 students. Oh joy.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Y6 D143

My sister sent me an email yesterday asking what was really eating at me and to make sure I didn't slip back into depression. No, this isn't depression I came to the conclusion last night. I have been able to manage my manic/depressant episodes much better in the last year - due in a large part to B - and this is different. It's frustration. Frustration that I am not where I was "supposed" to be. Frustration that I worked so hard and lost so much. Frustration at starting over and feeling too old to do it yet again. And it's not just me. I think it's a generational thing. Look at us. People who are 40-50 right now. We are a pretty fucked up generation. We were the first to have so much instant gratification we have fucked up so much as adults. Look at the foreclosures, short sales, and house issues. A large portion is right smack in that age range. I know of at least 6 people personally who have dealt with this in the last 5 years. Hell, most of us are on our second or third marriages. We aren't necessarily a generation of fuck-ups or under achievers, we just don't know how to deal with long term things. Everything we grew up with was instant. ATMs. CDs. 22 minutes of issues solved with a big hearty laugh at the end. The internet. Online ordering. We don't know how to manage or budget long term. Then they scared us to death telling us AIDS, Russians, Nuclear War - whatever - were going to kill us so live for now. Forget tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. Die young. Too bad most of us didn't. Those of us that do eventually find some way of coping or handling things do so because we end up with partners NOT of the same age. Be it older or younger we know that people are own age are so fucked up we need to go up or down a generation to help balance things out. But that of course is ripe with it's own issues and dramas now isn't it? These are the things I ponder when I can't sleep. These are the thoughts running through my head at 2 in the morning. Where do I fit? What have I done? Why am I still going? All of these thoughts. Depression? Not really. Annoyance. Frustration. Better words.

Taught all day yesterday and it was a full class that went all day. A little over actually. I forget when I have big classes that these things are meant for this size and will take all day. I get spoiled when it's a small class and I finish 2 hours early. Nope not happening this week. After class I had so many emails that came through I spent another two hours working. 5-5 was my day yesterday. Today promises to be more of the same as it's the advanced version of yesterday and half the class are people from yesterday. Not all but half plus 4 or 5 new people.

I did get some cool mail yesterday. See above about being unable to manage our money. Anyway, my Tsum Tsums from Japan arrived. I now have Perry and Oswald. As well as my D23 membership packet. I am now an official D23 member. I can go to the show next year and can buy D23 exclusive merchandise in the park.

I didn't feel like cooking after class so we went out for Italian. I was so tired that when we got to the restaurant and then again when we got home, I clipped the curb in my car. Fucked my rims up on both the passenger and the driver side as I hit one at the restaurant and the other when we got back home. WTF.

Tried playing Sims but it decided it just wanted to lock up on me. So fuck it. Got tired of that after a while. Watched some TV with B and went to bed at 11. She came in some time after 1.

We also realized that starting Sunday we will be gone for 12 days straight. Need to do a bunch of laundry and make sure everything is situated before that comes around. Time to go teach the masses.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Y6 D142

I had trouble falling asleep last night because I started getting depressed about life and the future and what the hell I am doing. I want to be able to make more money to be able to pay things off and give B a good future but then I realize how old I am and who the hell wants to hire an old guy like me and that I need to be really careful not to lose my job because then I will be screwed and it didn't help that B wasn't tired and I went to bed alone at 11 and tossed and turned until she came in at 2 and then I got up at 5. Sigh.

See?

Just one brain fuck after another is what it was last night.

The day itself wasn't bad. Got up, did some work stuff. Prepped for today. I have a REALLY large group in each of my classes this week. Two one day classes and one two day with no less than 10 students each day. This is going to make for a challenge. I prepped out all my slides, my screens, etc. I should be ready to go but there's always the fear I am missing something. I will be dealing with about 50 people in total the rest of the week. I can handle it.

Played some Sims. Organized files. Caught up on BBT with B. Made fish tacos for dinner. She caught up on PLL finally.

That was about it. We left the house once to get something at the grocery store. Oh yeah, pie. I totally had forgotten what it was. She was craving pumpkin pie so we went to the store. That was our big trip out. Whee.

God I am just not all here right now. I am just flustered with life. I definitely don't want to do a show this Friday even though it's a big documentary special. Check out their kickstarter page - Rocky Horror Saved My Life. I think it's a cool thing, just not up to it. Then on Sunday we have to travel so it will be rough.

So much to do so little time left to do it.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Y6 D141

We both had a bad night last night. Migraine for B, which led to tossing and turning. Neither of us got a good's night sleep. She is still asleep which given she was up until 2. I know this because I can check her late night twitter ramblings. Last one posted roughly six hours ago. Hence 2am.  Here's how the rest of the day went:

Got up around 9. We were supposed to go with friends to a 'Harvest Festival' about 20 minutes away. They didn't give me a whole lot of details so I looked it up on the internet. Yep, there it is. Okay, no biggie. They called us at one point and said we are nearly ready. Great. We will drive out there now and meet you there. Got in the car, drive out there, took 40 minutes since most of it is a one land road with fucking trucks on it. Get to the downtown where the internet said it was happening when I notice the DATES on the webpage - JULY 12. Um...

I called our friends who still hadn't left the house yet a little peeved. Turns out, yes there was a city harvest festival but we are going to the one at so and so farm. Oh. Thanks for that small crucial detail. Luckily it was only a couple of miles from where we were. We get there and yep, it's a fall thing. $10 admission which included hay ride to the pumpkin field and any pumpkin you could carry. We did all the things - picked our own herbs, picked two baskets of cherry tomatoes, listened to the music, rode the tractor hay ride, picked our own pumpkins, etc. I was cranky the whole time because right before we left I reset my phone and was still trying to get it back to working order. Plus it was hot, dusty, and outdoors. None of my favorite things. We got home around 4 and that's when her head starting hurting. She watched some TV while I played sims and around 7:30 she took a Vicodin and crashed until 11. That's when I tried to go to bed. I was hot and sticky and don't like our new sheets and I ended up tossing and turning.

I must have woke her up around midnight which is when she got up.

Ugh. Luckily I don't teach today. I teach non-stop starting tomorrow for the next two weeks, one of them at UCSF, then Vegas, then Texas, then Disneyland, then Texas. I am going to enjoy this last day of peace.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Y6 D140

I hate people. Especially 'family' who think that because they are doing you a favor they can blackmail you. Oh but they would never call it blackmail, no it's just 'being nice' or 'doing me a small favor'. Either way, it's fucking blackmail and people are assholes.

What am I rambling on about? B's grandmother. So a while back they agreed to help us pay for the catering for the wedding. It was shortly after that this bitch 'nicely' suggested B invite certain people to the wedding. Originally this wasn't an issue but then the guest list got larger with people we actually care about and those people got dropped. Well her grandmother still hasn't paid for anything and when B sent an email yesterday she got back "oh yes we've been so busy. I heard you're not inviting so and so?". Basically saying put them back on the list or there is no money. B responded with "gosh, I am not close to them and we wanted to make sure we didn't invite 2nd cousins from one side but not the other blah blah blah"; essentially saying these people are there for you, not us, so piss off. And now we are waiting for a response. This of course has tweaked B to high hell because she hates confrontation. As a result she was up tossing and turning until 3 in the fucking morning.

On top of that drama, my phone is fucking up and I will probably need to factory reset it today which I am not looking forward to doing. In an attempt to figure out what was killing my battery so hard, I rooted it and started deleting things. It looks like I went too far. It won't get email now and any Google services are failing because of GooglePlayServices. So I have to bloop my phone. Fun.

In other news, I did have a marathon Sims day which was fun. Now that I have it actually working, I do like Sims 4. I like the new aspirations tree, the new skills, and the new careers. I made it to level 3 of Tech Guru yesterday.

We went to a 'halloween party' last night. B's minion costume was spot on. She looked great. I wore regular clothes. Yeah, wasn't feeling it. We got home from that around 10:30.

Today we are supposed to go to some "Fall Festival" about 20 miles from here. Whee.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Y6 D139

Hi ho hi ho, it's billing I go. Sigh. Another Friday another round of bills paid. At least I have been sleeping in this week and catching up on much needed sleep. Got up yesterday, did some minor work stuff, paid all the bills, then B and I went on an adventure. There is no decent mall where we live and she has been in need of some eyebrow help. Therefore we drove 25 miles to the nearest 'big' mall. And by big I mean stores we actually shop at like Sephora, Disney Store, Apple, etc. We had lunch at BJs, got her a new purse, got her eyebrow situation handled, bought 8 new Tsum Tsums for our collection, walked around, and got back home around 4. I napped for about an hour and then we went off to the Spirit store for her to find a costume for a party we are going to tonight. She is going as a minion. She found suspenders, the glasses, tights, and a yellow T-shirt. While we were out we stopped at a little family diner for dinner. Not bad. We both had breakfast for dinner which is always fun. When we got home she tried on her costume and it's pretty damn awesome. She did a really good job.  I then decided to see if I could figure out why Sims 4 wasn't running on my VM. I managed to figure out what was causing the problem and had a 3 hour Sims marathon. Whee. She also played and we ended up going to bed around 1.

Today is the party and I am going to be making a sweet potato casserole. Other than that, we have no plans. Go us.