Y2 D311

Oh I fucked the donkey last night. Metaphorically thank you very much. I am not desperate enough yet to fuck an actual donkey. Yet...

Anyway, I partied like a rock star with money I don't have with a woman I can't have. The classic idiot moves I have been trying so hard to avoid. I understand junkies and alcoholics who fall off the wagon; it's so easy to slip back into those modes. It's so easy to fall right back into the old patterns of self-destruction and self abuse.

I worked all day and then met a friend for drinks. She is having a rough time at her job right now and needed support. She showed me the things her boss wrote about her in a letter to HR. Wow, this was some tough shit which most of it was bullshit. It was all subjective emotional crap. One of the reasons why women working for women can be a challenge. They tend to be meaner and harsher on each other than a man would be to a colleague. I mean some of this was downright petty and snippy. Regardless, I could understand why she was having a rough time of it. There are things in there that no matter what she does will never be fixed because they are too personal. She wrote a response to HR but it didn't help.

So I cheered her up while dragging myself down.

I have known her for over 10 years and crushed on her the same length of time. We started at one bar, had dessert, then I went off to another because I wasn't done making an ass out of myself, then grabbed a friend from cast and had pie so I could whine to her about how pathetic my life is.

Man I am a fuck up. Six and half feet of rope and it will all be over.

Got to make sure the bills are paid first. I need to see the aftermath of my destruction come monday morning to see what I can pay and who gets fucked this month. Idiot.