42 days to go and I will have survived two years. Need to survive the month first. Yesterday morning as I was typing I was also checking my bank balance. I have that shit to the wire right now. I just have to make it what, 15? 16? hours and I will be good. But it's close kids.
Yesterday was let's say interesting. I didn't do anything of any excitement; another day in the house working but at least I had work to do. I did get a phone call from a recruiter (actually 4 but only one was worth talking about). He wanted to place me in a FTE position at my current client. I thought that was amusing. I told my boss about it. He too found it amusing. Sorry, but this is one of those clients where unless they offered me gold on a platter every week, I wouldn't work for them full time. Commute withstanding, the environment just isn't for me.
No, the interesting part of yesterday was how I helped a few people. What is it about me that draws people to seek my advice or comfort? I feel like I am falling apart most of the time, yet for some reason people turn to me for support and guidance. I found myself talking not one, not two, but four people yesterday down from the wall. Odd. On one hand I am not complaining as for every one of them I give advice to on the merits of staying alive, I am also giving myself the same advice. In that respect it helps me out. On the other hand, it's exhausting and can make me more depressed. I have to be positive and upbeat to keep them off the ledge while at the same time one part of me wants to say 'Yeah, life does suck. Jump'. Which I won't do.
Back to the grind today. I might be able to finish up what I need to finish up for this client today if all goes well. Make it through the day - that's my goal.
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