Y3 D60

For those of you just tuning in to our show, let's do a recap of My So Called Incredibly Fucked Up What The Fuck Are You Doing You Fucking Idiot Are You Out Of Your Fucking Mind Life shall we? Let's just step back and look at the last week...

Last Saturday/Sunday -- I go to the show, meet two girls, find out they're 18 yet for some reason still take them back home and have a threesome. Good job dickhead...

Monday -- Go to a happy with clients, get drunk. Go to dinner with four more clients, get even drunker. Meet up at a club at 10pm with one of the same girls from the night before, with a client, lose the client, find the client, take said 18 year old girl back home (now designated as LO2), have sex all night. Strike two asshole.

Tuesday -- pass out at 8pm

Wednesday -- take a client out, pick up two girls at a bar, get emails and phone numbers, spend $400 on 'entertainment', puke my guts out at the train station, fall asleep on the train, miss my stop, finally get home and pass out on the floor in my clothes in the front room. Hmm. Not quite a strike, but definitely a foul ball...

Thursday -- LO2 comes over, I make her dinner, actually have a conversation with here and realize that despite trying to find things to hate or make it clear this is stupid, find that we actually have shit in common, can hold an actual conversation, and end up having sex all night. And that should be strike three, but hey, let's just keep pushing this, shall we??

Friday -- take a co-worker out drinking, meet a girl at a bar, get her name and number, and make her come with us to a burlesque show. Things get weird between me, girl, and co-worker. Leave club in a huff, drunk, manage to get on a train and get home. Mostly okay overall compared to the other days. This was not too bad in the grand scheme of things.

Saturday -- decide the hell with everyone because I enjoy getting laid and decide to bring LO2 to a cast karaoke party. Inevitable jokes ensue, but everyone is mostly accepting on the surface. Seriously what are they going to say? They (and you) know that I will do whatever I want anyway... Oh and did I mention, drunk again? Yeah...

And that bring us to yesterday, good ol' Sunday -- wake up at around 6, have sex, open a bottle of champagne, strawberries, and cheese, watch always sunny, have more sex, finish the champagne, watch more always sunny, have sex for a third time. Finally shower, send LO2 home, play DnD, work on props, watch X-Files, go to bed. Now, overall yesterday wasn't too bad except for having sex with A FUCKING EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL.

You know how hard this is? I know it's 'wrong' in the moral, ethical sense. Is it illegal? No. Is it pissing people off including the kid? Yes. Do I care? Obviously. But AM I HAPPY? Well, yeah...

I think this just needs to run its course. I get laid for a month, which means I will be able to go another six months without anything as is par for the course with me. Anything past a month it will just start getting weird. Not that's it not already, but past a month and people are going to really start talking except my kid who will stop talking to me altogether. You know how badly I wish this girl was just 10 years older? It would make the WORLD of difference to everyone including myself. Let's be honest here, I am an over grown hyperactive, obsessive compulsive narcissist child. Of course I have no problem banging LO2. Mentally we are the same and my ego is so fucking big that well this is just like sliced foie on top of bone marrow for me. But I will tire of her and I will throw her away. It's what I do...The really fucked up thing is in some ways I am living every guy's fantasy right now -- having threesomes, banging a girl half my age who thinks I am hot... what's NOT to like about the situation other than the obvious.

I don't know what to do. I am not seeing her tonight. I have work and then a brow appointment follow by bloody sleep. I need some sleep. Maybe then I can think with the big head instead of the little one.