Up early for training. Hello darkness outside. Stay outside and not in my head.
Did a little work yesterday. Mostly prep for today. Booked my first trip of the year - PA at the end of Feb. Can you believe it is Feb already tomorrow? Time is moving so quickly and yet it feels like it is dragging. Worked on my puzzle. Talked to B. Watched John Dies at the End. Good movie. Weird and funny but good. Kind of reminded me of a modern day Donnie Darko. But with humor. Totally worth watching.
That was my day. Not complaining. Really not. Did cue sheets for saturday. Another show night looms. Nothing much else to say except I really wish I had B here.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Y4 D251
15 more hours of communication yesterday with B. Did you talk to your significant other for 15 hours yesterday? I doubt it. Most people don't ever talk that much in a week let alone in a single day. I managed to shake the blahs by midday. And yes, they were blahs. I stopped at the edge of the abyss and chose not to fall over. Plus I had her there to keep me from falling. Amazing.
I need to book my PA trip. That's the first one of the year on the road. I should also have an OH trip next month. Just waiting for final confirmation. 10,000 miles and 10 hotel nights already set for Feb. If I can do that 10 more times I will hit the numbers I want at the airline and hotel this year.
Worked on a couple of things yesterday. Managed to stay focused. After working I had meatloaf and some sweet potato fries for dinner. Went right through me and found myself in the bathroom at midnight. That sucked.
Watched Django Unchained. DAMN GOOD MOVIE. Wow. That was a pure Tarantino movie for sure. Really enjoyed it. 3 hours of wow. Headed off to bed. Chatted with B for a while in bed then went to sleep.
Yay the boring life.
I need to book my PA trip. That's the first one of the year on the road. I should also have an OH trip next month. Just waiting for final confirmation. 10,000 miles and 10 hotel nights already set for Feb. If I can do that 10 more times I will hit the numbers I want at the airline and hotel this year.
Worked on a couple of things yesterday. Managed to stay focused. After working I had meatloaf and some sweet potato fries for dinner. Went right through me and found myself in the bathroom at midnight. That sucked.
Watched Django Unchained. DAMN GOOD MOVIE. Wow. That was a pure Tarantino movie for sure. Really enjoyed it. 3 hours of wow. Headed off to bed. Chatted with B for a while in bed then went to sleep.
Yay the boring life.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Y4 D250
I lost it last night. Went to the dark place. Just got so overwhelmed with everything I went down the spiral. I am coming back up but it was rough going for a little while there. I worked all day on some documents. Took care of that. Around 5 I needed out of the house and walked the two miles to the pub. For some reason right now, the kid and the car situation is bugging the shit out of me. I want my car back. She has a perfectly good car sitting there and yet it sits there. Fucking pisses me off that I have to once again sacrifice for her. Not as mad at her as I am the other people in her life who don't even bother to offer to help - her mother, her grandmother. They know the situation and yet they do nothing. I am also pissed off because walking home last night in the cold I dropped my goddamn new phone. Screen is shattered. I don't know if it can be fixed or replaced or what. I have to go over today and find out and OH WAIT SHE NEEDS THE FUCKING CAR. See? Ugh. I am frustrated. I think I will let her take it to work, but then drive her to the train for school.
THANK GOD I have B. She was worried about me last night and stayed up all night until I texted her this morning. She has suffered from depression as well and knows what it is like when you hit the wall. When you spiral down. She knew not to bug me, not to freak out, etc. How is it possible that someone I have known for such a short time can know me so well?
Fuck. Still not 100%. Don't feel like typing any more.
THANK GOD I have B. She was worried about me last night and stayed up all night until I texted her this morning. She has suffered from depression as well and knows what it is like when you hit the wall. When you spiral down. She knew not to bug me, not to freak out, etc. How is it possible that someone I have known for such a short time can know me so well?
Fuck. Still not 100%. Don't feel like typing any more.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Y4 D249
Good morning world. Yes, I know it is 9:15am on a Monday and I am saying good morning. Truth is I was up at 5 to go to the DMV and then I realized I am an idiot. Since the payment was late, I assumed I couldn't pay it online. Just for giggles I decided to check. Oh look, I can pay it online. Back to fucking bed. I needed the sleep.
Yesterday I went to bed at 4:45am and then got up at 8 because I needed to get props out of the car. I drove the props down around 10. I did find my bracelet while unloading props which is a good thing. I was afraid it was gone for good but luckily I found it. After unloading the props I called my friends who live nearby to see if they wanted to hang out.
I ended up having a rather normal pedestrian Sunday. We went over to Friday's for lunch (it was okay, I mean it's Fridays how good can it be?) and then to the movie theater. We saw Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters. Was it any good? Depends on your opinion. I wasn't expecting Oscar worthy work. It was horribly awful in a fun way. It was what I expected it to be. A goofy movie about witch hunting. After the movie we walked around the mall a little bit and then I headed home. Stopped at Best Buy on the way home to look for a case for the new phone. Didn't see any I liked. I can easily get one on Amazon for like $10 so I will wait.
Came home and the kid wasn't home. B was at work. I relaxed by myself for a little while. Did my time sheets, caught up on some news. B got home around 8:30 and we talked until 10:30.
That's what I call a good day.
Yesterday I went to bed at 4:45am and then got up at 8 because I needed to get props out of the car. I drove the props down around 10. I did find my bracelet while unloading props which is a good thing. I was afraid it was gone for good but luckily I found it. After unloading the props I called my friends who live nearby to see if they wanted to hang out.
I ended up having a rather normal pedestrian Sunday. We went over to Friday's for lunch (it was okay, I mean it's Fridays how good can it be?) and then to the movie theater. We saw Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters. Was it any good? Depends on your opinion. I wasn't expecting Oscar worthy work. It was horribly awful in a fun way. It was what I expected it to be. A goofy movie about witch hunting. After the movie we walked around the mall a little bit and then I headed home. Stopped at Best Buy on the way home to look for a case for the new phone. Didn't see any I liked. I can easily get one on Amazon for like $10 so I will wait.
Came home and the kid wasn't home. B was at work. I relaxed by myself for a little while. Did my time sheets, caught up on some news. B got home around 8:30 and we talked until 10:30.
That's what I call a good day.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Y4 D248
Oh the drama last night. And I was only a small part of it thank goodness. I was on the right side of the drama for once. There's a couple I have talked about before in here where the girl has some serious issues mentally including multiple attempts at suicide. I have always tried to see the positive in them and tried to give them the benefit of the doubt even though I have also gotten frustrated with her suicide attempts. But point being last night they showed their true colors and really fucked up. She used to be on cast and as of this morning so did he. He knows better than to bring her to shows but yet there she was last night. And that caused drama. I still harbor a small inkling she 'borrowed' some props and kept them out of spite. She got asked to leave last night because of it creating a distraction and being a conflict and well frankly because she is not liked when she is there. That of course caused her boyfriend to leave which showed his loyalty. My issue is that they have this weird ass relationship that doesn't make ANY sense at all. She uses him, he is a puppy dog, and at some point it's going to break. Last night was the start of it. Mark my words on this.
That was issue number one. Issue number two was when I walk into the bathroom and there is a woman in the men's bathroom and a guy puking his guts up all over the stall. This is general is not a problem but where the hell was security to keep track of this, help the guy out, and get the girl out of the bathroom??? AND then I notice a urinal has fallen off the wall! What the fuck?? Security dropped the ball. Big time. I chewed up a couple of them who were sitting in the lobby socializing. I was not happy with them.
The upside to everything was I got to make videos for B to make her feel like she was right there the whole time and I virtually introduced the entire cast to her and vice versa. Everyone now knows about her and knows how serious I feel about her. THAT part of the night was fun. I made 30 videos for her. Which I did on my new phone. Yes, I caved in and bought a new phone yesterday. Mine was driving me nuts. The connecter for the power cable was bent and not working, the battery wasn't holding a charge, and it was just grrr. The upside to that was I had to change my plan as a result and I ended up saving $50 a month. That's $600 a year to the good. Score. That's $50 that can go on another bill.
The day itself was pretty good. Talked to B for most of it. Picked up props which I now need to drop off today. I also might go to a movie today. I would like to see Hansel and Gretel and the version I got the other day was not the one I thought it was. I am grabbing the right one now, but it might be a cam version which means not the best quality sometimes. I still have Django Unchained to watch.
I am also trying to figure out how to get down to the funeral on Tuesday morning. I may leave tomorrow at midnight to do that.
That was issue number one. Issue number two was when I walk into the bathroom and there is a woman in the men's bathroom and a guy puking his guts up all over the stall. This is general is not a problem but where the hell was security to keep track of this, help the guy out, and get the girl out of the bathroom??? AND then I notice a urinal has fallen off the wall! What the fuck?? Security dropped the ball. Big time. I chewed up a couple of them who were sitting in the lobby socializing. I was not happy with them.
The upside to everything was I got to make videos for B to make her feel like she was right there the whole time and I virtually introduced the entire cast to her and vice versa. Everyone now knows about her and knows how serious I feel about her. THAT part of the night was fun. I made 30 videos for her. Which I did on my new phone. Yes, I caved in and bought a new phone yesterday. Mine was driving me nuts. The connecter for the power cable was bent and not working, the battery wasn't holding a charge, and it was just grrr. The upside to that was I had to change my plan as a result and I ended up saving $50 a month. That's $600 a year to the good. Score. That's $50 that can go on another bill.
The day itself was pretty good. Talked to B for most of it. Picked up props which I now need to drop off today. I also might go to a movie today. I would like to see Hansel and Gretel and the version I got the other day was not the one I thought it was. I am grabbing the right one now, but it might be a cam version which means not the best quality sometimes. I still have Django Unchained to watch.
I am also trying to figure out how to get down to the funeral on Tuesday morning. I may leave tomorrow at midnight to do that.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Y4 D247
Sometimes I surprise myself with being responsible. Last night, I did the right thing. I very rarely do the right thing. I usually am the one making the bad decisions but somehow last night I ended being on the other end of things. It felt pretty damn good. I won't lie. A few points in the karma bank. Also a glimpse into how others might see me sometimes. Yes, I am getting to what happened.
I got up yesterday at 5 greeted by a text message from B. Good way to start the day for sure. Started class promptly at 7. No server issues for once which was nice. I made it through without any problems until about 1. We were on our final break and I got a message that a friend from where I used to live died. He had a stroke on Wednesday night, went into a coma and died in the early hours of the morning. He was a good man. He owned one of the oldest restaurants in town and was loved by everyone. He helped me in my attempt at public office, he was always a good mentor and friend. He shall be truly missed. I got back on my class and told them I had received some bad news and would try to make it through. I am going to try and go to the funeral on Monday. Managed to get through class without any issues. After class I made a few phone calls and got some of the details.
Went to the grocery store and stocked the house up. Kid and KBF were there bleaching his hair and doing whatever it is they were doing. I made some dinner and settled in to watch a movie only to find the movie I thought I was about to watch was not the one I wanted to watch. Same name, different movie. Oh well. When you get a movie for free, you don't complain you just shrug it off. Earlier my friend had sent me a text saying he was down the street at the bar. I was planning to watch the movie though and told him have fun. Well after the movie didn't work out I said, okay, what the heck. I will go out. The bar is literally walking distance from my house and it wasn't a big deal. I am glad I went. I have a feeling if I hadn't, I would be going to two funerals.
My friend insisted he had only been there an hour and had 1 beer. Yeah. No. I know what 'one beer' looks like. And if he had really only had one beer there, he certainly had quite a few more elsewhere. Took me 1/2 hour of trying to ascertain how bad off he was, why he was so bad off, and what I was going to do about it. I texted another friend just in case this went south and was also glad I did that. She came down, and we all sat there having a nice time but all the while trying to get him to give up his keys and stop drinking. We finally reached a compromise where I would drive his car home, she would follow, and then take me home. BUT the only way he would agree was if he could take a nap first. Fine. We locked him in the passenger seat, took his keys, and let him sleep for 1/2 hour. He could barely walk. I did get out of him that he had started drinking at 9:30, went to an interview drunk, and had had 4 beers before we showed up. And he was going to try and get home. Idiot. Yeah, I know hypocrisy at its best.
We got him home, stopped at taco bell for a late night snack, and then I came home. Talked to B for a while and went off to bed. We have evolved to using Voxer and sending videos. We both dislike TALKING on the phone, but we have no problem using every other means of communication known to man. My kind of girl.
Show tonight. Have to go load the truck.
I got up yesterday at 5 greeted by a text message from B. Good way to start the day for sure. Started class promptly at 7. No server issues for once which was nice. I made it through without any problems until about 1. We were on our final break and I got a message that a friend from where I used to live died. He had a stroke on Wednesday night, went into a coma and died in the early hours of the morning. He was a good man. He owned one of the oldest restaurants in town and was loved by everyone. He helped me in my attempt at public office, he was always a good mentor and friend. He shall be truly missed. I got back on my class and told them I had received some bad news and would try to make it through. I am going to try and go to the funeral on Monday. Managed to get through class without any issues. After class I made a few phone calls and got some of the details.
Went to the grocery store and stocked the house up. Kid and KBF were there bleaching his hair and doing whatever it is they were doing. I made some dinner and settled in to watch a movie only to find the movie I thought I was about to watch was not the one I wanted to watch. Same name, different movie. Oh well. When you get a movie for free, you don't complain you just shrug it off. Earlier my friend had sent me a text saying he was down the street at the bar. I was planning to watch the movie though and told him have fun. Well after the movie didn't work out I said, okay, what the heck. I will go out. The bar is literally walking distance from my house and it wasn't a big deal. I am glad I went. I have a feeling if I hadn't, I would be going to two funerals.
My friend insisted he had only been there an hour and had 1 beer. Yeah. No. I know what 'one beer' looks like. And if he had really only had one beer there, he certainly had quite a few more elsewhere. Took me 1/2 hour of trying to ascertain how bad off he was, why he was so bad off, and what I was going to do about it. I texted another friend just in case this went south and was also glad I did that. She came down, and we all sat there having a nice time but all the while trying to get him to give up his keys and stop drinking. We finally reached a compromise where I would drive his car home, she would follow, and then take me home. BUT the only way he would agree was if he could take a nap first. Fine. We locked him in the passenger seat, took his keys, and let him sleep for 1/2 hour. He could barely walk. I did get out of him that he had started drinking at 9:30, went to an interview drunk, and had had 4 beers before we showed up. And he was going to try and get home. Idiot. Yeah, I know hypocrisy at its best.
We got him home, stopped at taco bell for a late night snack, and then I came home. Talked to B for a while and went off to bed. We have evolved to using Voxer and sending videos. We both dislike TALKING on the phone, but we have no problem using every other means of communication known to man. My kind of girl.
Show tonight. Have to go load the truck.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Y4 D246
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Um, yeah. Hi. Hey guess what I did yesterday? Yep. Taught all day. Then worked on the trade show stuff. Today I teach again. I am in that mood ya know? Trainer mode. Voice perfect, smile on. I can't wait until 3pm today when I can shut down and relax.
Went out last night around 6. There was a birthday party at the pub which my friends were at and since the person having the party was their friend but an acquaintance of mine, I decided to go to say hello. I didn't stay too long. I went, had a burger, couple of drinks, came home. I was more interested in coming home and talking to B.
I scraped our conversations yesterday into a single document. As of right now it is 1403 pages. I have to format it and clean it up, but still 1403 pages. That's a lot of fucking talking right there. Seriously. I have never felt like I have known someone this intimately ever. Not even TXGF. Not even X2. Speaking of X2, I realized how much like HER father I am yesterday. Right around the time she was the same age as the kid, her dad found someone a few years older than her and fell in love. He then proceeded to get remarried and have two kids. Is this my destiny? I find it ironic because when I met him I had never seen a happier guy. Maybe it's the women on X2's side of the family that drain the life out of us and make us feel like we have to get our lives back? She was always her mother's daughter. Asshole comment? A little bit. But I see way too many parallels to the shit X2's mom did and X2 to me that it is one hell of a coincidence. Maybe I will be happy. Maybe she is the right person for me. I plan to find out. I truly do.
Um, yeah. Hi. Hey guess what I did yesterday? Yep. Taught all day. Then worked on the trade show stuff. Today I teach again. I am in that mood ya know? Trainer mode. Voice perfect, smile on. I can't wait until 3pm today when I can shut down and relax.
Went out last night around 6. There was a birthday party at the pub which my friends were at and since the person having the party was their friend but an acquaintance of mine, I decided to go to say hello. I didn't stay too long. I went, had a burger, couple of drinks, came home. I was more interested in coming home and talking to B.
I scraped our conversations yesterday into a single document. As of right now it is 1403 pages. I have to format it and clean it up, but still 1403 pages. That's a lot of fucking talking right there. Seriously. I have never felt like I have known someone this intimately ever. Not even TXGF. Not even X2. Speaking of X2, I realized how much like HER father I am yesterday. Right around the time she was the same age as the kid, her dad found someone a few years older than her and fell in love. He then proceeded to get remarried and have two kids. Is this my destiny? I find it ironic because when I met him I had never seen a happier guy. Maybe it's the women on X2's side of the family that drain the life out of us and make us feel like we have to get our lives back? She was always her mother's daughter. Asshole comment? A little bit. But I see way too many parallels to the shit X2's mom did and X2 to me that it is one hell of a coincidence. Maybe I will be happy. Maybe she is the right person for me. I plan to find out. I truly do.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Y4 D245
Long day yesterday. I seem to start a lot of these posts with that don't I? After almost five years of writing it's a miracle sometimes I even have anything left in me to write at all to be honest. But then again the purpose of this is my life and as long as I am alive then there should be something to write regardless of how boring it might be, yes? Hey man, deep. Yeah whatever.
No, nothing is wrong, just tired. Slept okay but it really was a wracking kind of day yesterday. I got up to get ready for my class, tested all my servers, and thought everything looked good. An hour into the class with 14 people, the server died. Of course. And I had never taught that class before which meant the material was all new and it was a trick to adlib for 40 minutes while the server decided to reboot. I handled it externally well but internally I was freaking out. I was trying to deal with the server, answer questions, and handle other emails coming in. I made it through but it was taxing. Then after class, one of my coworkers got on me to make some changes to things. He has a trade show demo Monday night and is wanting too much in a short period of time. I understand his desire to make everything perfect, but at the same time he is being pretty demanding. I promised him a block of time today. I have a 2 hour webinar for 900 people from 10-1, but after that I am all his. I am also going to try and get some stuff done this morning before the webinar.
After all that I spent 6 hours talking with B, finishing up the rearrangement of my pin board, and watching Pitch Perfect. My god that movie is funny. So quotable too. It also has a great soundtrack and I think I am going to incorporate that into music this weekend. Yeah, it's a show weekend. Honestly not looking forward to it, mostly because it's been a long week.
That's about it. Yep, boring. My mental state has never been better. I mean that. I have a tumblr dedicated to posting about the dark things in my head. Recently though I haven't had any reason to post on there. Another good sign.
No, nothing is wrong, just tired. Slept okay but it really was a wracking kind of day yesterday. I got up to get ready for my class, tested all my servers, and thought everything looked good. An hour into the class with 14 people, the server died. Of course. And I had never taught that class before which meant the material was all new and it was a trick to adlib for 40 minutes while the server decided to reboot. I handled it externally well but internally I was freaking out. I was trying to deal with the server, answer questions, and handle other emails coming in. I made it through but it was taxing. Then after class, one of my coworkers got on me to make some changes to things. He has a trade show demo Monday night and is wanting too much in a short period of time. I understand his desire to make everything perfect, but at the same time he is being pretty demanding. I promised him a block of time today. I have a 2 hour webinar for 900 people from 10-1, but after that I am all his. I am also going to try and get some stuff done this morning before the webinar.
After all that I spent 6 hours talking with B, finishing up the rearrangement of my pin board, and watching Pitch Perfect. My god that movie is funny. So quotable too. It also has a great soundtrack and I think I am going to incorporate that into music this weekend. Yeah, it's a show weekend. Honestly not looking forward to it, mostly because it's been a long week.
That's about it. Yep, boring. My mental state has never been better. I mean that. I have a tumblr dedicated to posting about the dark things in my head. Recently though I haven't had any reason to post on there. Another good sign.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Y4 D244
GREAT day yesterday. I also got best compliment ever about my blog. It's turned BORING!! Do you know how fantastic that is to here? That means that my life is semi-normal and not some whirlwind escapade that tantalizes my readers. This is a good thing.
I worked ALL day yesterday. It was a non-stop day to get ready for the three classes I am teaching. Class one starts in 90 minutes. But between class prep and prep for an upcoming trade show, I barely had a minute to breathe from about 8 until 5. I don't mind as it kept me focused and engaged.
Around 5:30 a friend from where I used to live came over. He is in town for a training class and we went over to the pub and just hung out. It was good to see him again. He was one of the few people at my old job I used to really like. We didn't stay out too late. Was home around 9. Talked to B for a couple of hours and went to bed.
She is amazing by the way. We have established a mental and emotional connection that is incredible. I never put anything into being able to connect with someone without a physical connection, but the relationship I have with her proves that wrong. It is possible to be connected to someone without ever meeting them. Take for example this morning. She knew what time I had to be up and she scheduled a text message for me to see first thing in the morning. She nailed it by three minutes. 3 minutes after I woke up my phone started going beep beep. That was the most beautiful thing to see first thing.
I am really happy right now and anyone who fucks with that is going to pay. Just saying.
I worked ALL day yesterday. It was a non-stop day to get ready for the three classes I am teaching. Class one starts in 90 minutes. But between class prep and prep for an upcoming trade show, I barely had a minute to breathe from about 8 until 5. I don't mind as it kept me focused and engaged.
Around 5:30 a friend from where I used to live came over. He is in town for a training class and we went over to the pub and just hung out. It was good to see him again. He was one of the few people at my old job I used to really like. We didn't stay out too late. Was home around 9. Talked to B for a couple of hours and went to bed.
She is amazing by the way. We have established a mental and emotional connection that is incredible. I never put anything into being able to connect with someone without a physical connection, but the relationship I have with her proves that wrong. It is possible to be connected to someone without ever meeting them. Take for example this morning. She knew what time I had to be up and she scheduled a text message for me to see first thing in the morning. She nailed it by three minutes. 3 minutes after I woke up my phone started going beep beep. That was the most beautiful thing to see first thing.
I am really happy right now and anyone who fucks with that is going to pay. Just saying.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Y4 D243
This week became extremely busy yesterday. I am now doing three training classes none of which I am ready to present, and on top of that helping one of the other guys to get ready for a trade show with a set of demo reports while fixing reports for a client. All of this to be done by Friday. It's going to be a heads down busy week. I can feel it. I have to be in bed early tonight because of this. The classes are all 7-3 the rest of the week. Upside, I will be done teaching at 3, downside, early rise rest of the week.
Worked all day yesterday on the above from 8-5. No breaks in between. Kid worked from 1-6. KBF came over. Still frustrated with that boy but I am staying out of it. I just hope she remembers this some day. How I kept my nose out of her business. Especially when I am going out with someone she doesn't really approve of and she wants to stick her nose in my business. Quid pro quo kiddo.
Worked on my pin board last night. I officially have exactly 1000 pins. I know, I know. Insanity at its finest. Technically I have 1002, but 2 of them are for other people so my count is 1000. Only 70,000 to go. I ended up staying up until midnight because I had pins all over the place. Watched Supernatural while working on the board. I really feel the last two seasons of this show have been disjointed and rambling. I hope they pull this all together soon.
Talked with B for about 5 hours. Amazing how much easier it is to talk to someone remotely than face to face or phone. It's not that it's casual by any sense, but there's just that ability to think through your words before sending/saying them. You can really put down what it is you are trying to say. I may have two road trips coming up in the next few weeks and one of them will put me a couple hours drive from her. If I get confirmation on it, I will factor in an extra day to meet her face to face. We talked about it and we both our nervous. We also both talked about that there should be NO expectations physically out of either of us. While we may have established one hell of a mental connection, we don't know if there is anything physical there yet. Yes, we have seen pictures of each other, but... We shall see.
Worked all day yesterday on the above from 8-5. No breaks in between. Kid worked from 1-6. KBF came over. Still frustrated with that boy but I am staying out of it. I just hope she remembers this some day. How I kept my nose out of her business. Especially when I am going out with someone she doesn't really approve of and she wants to stick her nose in my business. Quid pro quo kiddo.
Worked on my pin board last night. I officially have exactly 1000 pins. I know, I know. Insanity at its finest. Technically I have 1002, but 2 of them are for other people so my count is 1000. Only 70,000 to go. I ended up staying up until midnight because I had pins all over the place. Watched Supernatural while working on the board. I really feel the last two seasons of this show have been disjointed and rambling. I hope they pull this all together soon.
Talked with B for about 5 hours. Amazing how much easier it is to talk to someone remotely than face to face or phone. It's not that it's casual by any sense, but there's just that ability to think through your words before sending/saying them. You can really put down what it is you are trying to say. I may have two road trips coming up in the next few weeks and one of them will put me a couple hours drive from her. If I get confirmation on it, I will factor in an extra day to meet her face to face. We talked about it and we both our nervous. We also both talked about that there should be NO expectations physically out of either of us. While we may have established one hell of a mental connection, we don't know if there is anything physical there yet. Yes, we have seen pictures of each other, but... We shall see.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Y4 D242
Back home in the land of icicles. Seriously. I went from being in nice 75-80 degree weather and sleeping with the AC on to having to wear 17 layers of clothing and freezing my ass off. Now I know why I lived where I did before. Took our time driving home. Dropped of the kid's friend and visited with her mother and siblings for a little while. Had a good drive. Nothing exciting and we talked the whole way home but about nothing heavy. Just a relaxing drive. The traffic wasn't too bad either. We made it home around 5:30, unpacked, relaxed, posted some pics, and watched Once.
All in all, this is just the kind of weekend I needed. I know I am going to be stressed out in another week about how much money I spent in the park this weekend, but it is what it is. Everything is handled, I just have a few small bills left to take care of, and I will be back on track on the 1st. Until then, I watch things carefully, I take care of things, and I move on.
So B. I have been avoiding talking about her because it's a weird situation. Is it possible to fall for someone you have never met in person? We have been having an online relationship for about 2 weeks now. The upside is there is no pressure because we can't actually see each other. The downside is obvious. But in the last two weeks we have chatted for almost 70 hours. That's more communication than I have done with some people who live 5 miles away from me. I don't know where this is going if anywhere, but it certainly has made me feel better about myself and life.
All in all, this is just the kind of weekend I needed. I know I am going to be stressed out in another week about how much money I spent in the park this weekend, but it is what it is. Everything is handled, I just have a few small bills left to take care of, and I will be back on track on the 1st. Until then, I watch things carefully, I take care of things, and I move on.
So B. I have been avoiding talking about her because it's a weird situation. Is it possible to fall for someone you have never met in person? We have been having an online relationship for about 2 weeks now. The upside is there is no pressure because we can't actually see each other. The downside is obvious. But in the last two weeks we have chatted for almost 70 hours. That's more communication than I have done with some people who live 5 miles away from me. I don't know where this is going if anywhere, but it certainly has made me feel better about myself and life.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Y4 D241
Wheeee what a day! Consumerism at its best. Played all day. Had AWESOME lunch at Carthay Circle. Got POUNDED at Mad T. Rode rides, traded pins, spent WAY too much money. Don't care. Heading home now.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Y4 D240
What a day what a day. Love my motherfucking Disney days yes I do. Drove down around midnight. Stopped on the way to pick up one of the kid's friends who is with us right now. We rolled into town around 5:30 and our normal Denny's was closed!! BLASPHEMY! We ended up at IHOP and hey guess what the food was better! YAY! Got into the park at 9. Took pics with Tigger, and Pooh, and Tinkerbell. Went on rides, traded pins, and wandered. At 2 I walked over to the hotel to check us in. At 4 we checked in for dinner. DINNER ROCKED. We had special pre-paid passholder dinner plans at the Golden Horseshoe. We were first in line and got one of the special private side booths right on the stage. It was a revived special edition of the original Golden Horseshoe Show. AWESOME. I took about 600 pictures yesterday. Including some great ones of Tiana's Bayou Bash. After dinner we were all exhausted. Dinner went from 6 when they let us in until about 8. The park closed at 10 yesterday so we said screw it and headed back to the hotel. We were all in bed by 10. 25 pins yesterday. Today I plan on doing much much more. Off to the park!
Friday, January 18, 2013
Y4 D239
At the hotel. Made it in one piece. Tried to sleep as always before leaving but no, too many work emails between 5 and 11. Assholes. Who sends stuff at 8pm? Ugh. Worked all day, took care of laundry, took care of house stuff, loaded the car, tossed and turned. Hit the road at 11:30. Yesterday compared to today was boring. Except...
It may be time to tell you all about B. But not yet.
It may be time to tell you all about B. But not yet.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Y4 D238
Almost Disneyland time la la la. Just have to get through today and I will be off to happy land. Whee! I can make it. Also this means no normal post tomorrow since I will be leaving at midnight. It's going to be in the 80s tomorrow there too which makes me really happy since it's about 34 right now here. Hate fucking winter.
Yesterday I worked all day again on some reports. We have a BIG demo coming up next week at one of the shows and I need to have a set of reports ready for demo. Today hopefully I will finish off the next set. But that was pretty much my whole day yesterday. With the exception of taking the kid to the train station I worked on these reports up until about 5:30.
Made some salmon and started watching Pitch Perfect while I ate. I grabbed it because everyone kept telling me how funny it was and I figured what the hell. I am only 20 minutes into it but yeah, okay this is pretty funny. At around 6:30 I headed over to my director's house with all the props. We hung out and did inventory. It was relaxing actually. They seem to be in a really good place right now and there was no tension or drama in the house which felt good. I left there around 8:30 to pick the kid up and was home around 10.
Once again a normal day. I can handle this. Am I finding my center?
Yesterday I worked all day again on some reports. We have a BIG demo coming up next week at one of the shows and I need to have a set of reports ready for demo. Today hopefully I will finish off the next set. But that was pretty much my whole day yesterday. With the exception of taking the kid to the train station I worked on these reports up until about 5:30.
Made some salmon and started watching Pitch Perfect while I ate. I grabbed it because everyone kept telling me how funny it was and I figured what the hell. I am only 20 minutes into it but yeah, okay this is pretty funny. At around 6:30 I headed over to my director's house with all the props. We hung out and did inventory. It was relaxing actually. They seem to be in a really good place right now and there was no tension or drama in the house which felt good. I left there around 8:30 to pick the kid up and was home around 10.
Once again a normal day. I can handle this. Am I finding my center?
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Y4 D237
Another day. And I am doing pretty well. I had a decent day yesterday. Worked with one of my colleagues on a presentation we are planning to do on the 24th which took up the majority of the day. The kid worked from 9-2 so I had the house to myself mostly. A friend came over around 4 as she needed a ride to the airport. She is off to Florida for a week and left her car here for me to watch. We dropped the kid off at the train as she had class from 6-9 then dropped her off at the airport. I then went down to where our prop truck is parked and picked up the props bins. I am bringing them over to my director's house tonight. She wants to do a full inventory of everything we have and clean some things. I didn't want someone having to bring the truck all the way over for what amounts to a small set of things. I told her I would bring things over in my car. It all fits with no problem. I have a couple of friends who live near where the truck is parked and I headed over to their house afterwards. We ordered in some BBQ and just shot the breeze until it was time for me to pick up the kid. Headed out around 8:15, got the kid, home by 9:15ish. Another friend is having relationship issues and she came over around 10 for some advice. Me and the kid talked to her and she went home around 11. Time for bed.
You know what all that is? A normal person day. One of the things we talked about over dinner was my struggle to reduce the size of my swings. No one is going to be happy all the time but having swings from +10 to -10 is too dangerous. I need to get it in the +2/+3 to -2/-3 range. I have been getting better these last few months through this self imposed isolation. By letting less drama in and less acting out, I have reigned it in. I would say I have managed to get it to +5/-5 range, maybe 6 at times, but that's an improvement. And part of that is my day yesterday - I can have normal days. I can still do things without them having to be so dramatic one way or the other.
I still stick by my love rant from yesterday though. Now get out there and LOVE!
You know what all that is? A normal person day. One of the things we talked about over dinner was my struggle to reduce the size of my swings. No one is going to be happy all the time but having swings from +10 to -10 is too dangerous. I need to get it in the +2/+3 to -2/-3 range. I have been getting better these last few months through this self imposed isolation. By letting less drama in and less acting out, I have reigned it in. I would say I have managed to get it to +5/-5 range, maybe 6 at times, but that's an improvement. And part of that is my day yesterday - I can have normal days. I can still do things without them having to be so dramatic one way or the other.
I still stick by my love rant from yesterday though. Now get out there and LOVE!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Y4 D236
So I was sitting working on my puzzle last night when I had an epiphany of sorts. No, nothing amazing like how to cure cancer or solve world peace. No. Sorry. I am too self centered to come up with something to benefit all mankind. However, my thoughts did lead to something that I want to share. I was trying to figure out what is 'wrong' with me in the sense of relationships and matters of the heart. The bottom line I realized is nothing. Not a fucking thing. Nope. Instead, it's the rest of the world with the problem. See, self centered. But not so much that I won't offer unto you my people this bit of life advice…
Love. Love a lot. Love often. Fall in love fast and with every fiber of your being. Seriously. And I am not talking to Jesus love thy neighbor crap. Nor am I saying being kind to everyone because some people are just peasants and not worthy. I mean the person you want to be with. Love them. Find them and love them. Love them for as long as it lasts too. Stop worrying about 'is this the one' or 'are they my life partner'. Because the more you worry about finding 'the one' you end up with NO ONE. I would rather love a thousand times in my life and deal with a thousand broken hearts than to never try at all. So the next time you see that cute girl in the bar, or that guy walking down the street - take a fucking chance. Say hi. Ask them out. Love them. Love them with everything you got. Be theirs. You say to me though, what f it ends? Yeah so? It ends. Take something away from it. Learn from it. And then do it again. And again and again. People leave. People die. People change. Stop worrying about if they are going to be here tomorrow and love them today. Love them right now. If you have someone, turn to them right now and tell them you fucking love them. Hold their hand. Smile for them. Write a message in the steam on the mirror while they are taking a shower. Love their laugh, love their smile, love them. Because yeah, they might not be here tomorrow and it is going to hurt like a son of a bitch. You are going to dwell and contemplate everything you did wrong only to realize you did nothing wrong. Things happen. You don't blame yourself if your significant other gets in a car accident on the way home and dies do you? Well you shouldn't. But either way, they're gone. So it doesn't matter how is the point. Enjoy the goddamn moment. Enjoy a million moments. You will have adventures and stories and memories. You will be a better person in the end. They will be better people from having been with you. The next person they love will know they are this way because of someone who loved them before. The same for you. So get out there today and fall in love. Fall head over heels weak in the knees brain dead in love. I know I plan to…
Monday, January 14, 2013
Y4 D235
Four more days until I am back in Disneyland. Whoo hoo!!!! Excited. Hotel is covered on points, don't have to worry about park entrance, no crazy things planned, a nice trip with a low out of pocket. I can handle.
Relaxed yesterday. Cleaned house, watched a little TV, chatted with a friend online. A good use of a sunday. The kid worked from 5 to midnight but we had a chance to talk earlier. Things seem okay. I fixed a broken shelf in her room. We ate leftovers. All in all a nice boring day.
Just need to get through the next four days...
Relaxed yesterday. Cleaned house, watched a little TV, chatted with a friend online. A good use of a sunday. The kid worked from 5 to midnight but we had a chance to talk earlier. Things seem okay. I fixed a broken shelf in her room. We ate leftovers. All in all a nice boring day.
Just need to get through the next four days...
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Y4 D234
Finally home from last night. Yes one of those nights. No, nothing evil happened. Just didn't make it home. Stayed at a friend's place in the city. so yesterday...
Didn't do much during the day since I knew I was going out last night. Ran a couple of errands, but otherwise stayed in. We went to a drag club last night all decked out so I needed hours to get ready. I had a schedule but then KBF came and fucked it up.
I had it out with the kid last night about him. At 4 I ordered pizza because I knew my friends were coming around 8:30 and the kid had to leave for work at that time. At 4:30 he calls and says that he is coming over to bake a cake. WTF? Then he starts asking her if we have ingredients. That's when I blew up. I told her I am tired of him disrespecting me in my house. I am not his fucking mother (who he lives with) and he needs to respect that I pay the rent, put groceries, etc. She got all flustered but understood where I was coming from on this. He shows up a 1/2 hour later and now I am uncomfortable getting ready with him here. It flusters me. They make a cake and I go into the kitchen and it's a fucking mess. I blew up again because they were watching TV. It's like - no, I am not your fucking slave. You are both old enough to clean up after yourselves. I told them when I come out of the bathroom this shit better be cleaned. I come out as they are finishing and they give me a dirty look then go off to the bedroom to fuck. I am so done with them. They left around 8:20 and my friends arrived at 8:40. I was still livid when they showed up.
I downed some rockstar vodka and vented which took the edge off. We ended up at the club around 10 and had a blast. We got hit on by some 70 year old with a toupee as old as him. The performers were great too. Around 1 we went over to our other friend's new apartment and started doing shots. Around 3 it was decided there had been too much drinking so no driving. I ended up in the middle of a cuddle puddle. Woke up around 7 and found my friend had already left. Ended up taking the train which is why I got home at noon. Things seem okay with me and the kid, but I will see more as the day goes on.
Didn't do much during the day since I knew I was going out last night. Ran a couple of errands, but otherwise stayed in. We went to a drag club last night all decked out so I needed hours to get ready. I had a schedule but then KBF came and fucked it up.
I had it out with the kid last night about him. At 4 I ordered pizza because I knew my friends were coming around 8:30 and the kid had to leave for work at that time. At 4:30 he calls and says that he is coming over to bake a cake. WTF? Then he starts asking her if we have ingredients. That's when I blew up. I told her I am tired of him disrespecting me in my house. I am not his fucking mother (who he lives with) and he needs to respect that I pay the rent, put groceries, etc. She got all flustered but understood where I was coming from on this. He shows up a 1/2 hour later and now I am uncomfortable getting ready with him here. It flusters me. They make a cake and I go into the kitchen and it's a fucking mess. I blew up again because they were watching TV. It's like - no, I am not your fucking slave. You are both old enough to clean up after yourselves. I told them when I come out of the bathroom this shit better be cleaned. I come out as they are finishing and they give me a dirty look then go off to the bedroom to fuck. I am so done with them. They left around 8:20 and my friends arrived at 8:40. I was still livid when they showed up.
I downed some rockstar vodka and vented which took the edge off. We ended up at the club around 10 and had a blast. We got hit on by some 70 year old with a toupee as old as him. The performers were great too. Around 1 we went over to our other friend's new apartment and started doing shots. Around 3 it was decided there had been too much drinking so no driving. I ended up in the middle of a cuddle puddle. Woke up around 7 and found my friend had already left. Ended up taking the train which is why I got home at noon. Things seem okay with me and the kid, but I will see more as the day goes on.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Y4 D233
Another day more work. Worked all day followed by a quick errand trip. That's it. Had a manicure because I am going out tonight withe friends. Kid is still sick so she slept most of the day. Made a lasagne for dinner. Worked on my puzzle. Captain exciting that's me. Nothing else really to report. No major mind issues, no drama. Just me plugging along until death takes me.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Y4 D232
VERY COLD this morning. There was a freeze alert in place from 2am - 8am today. It was about 55 in the house when I woke up. Yesterday was freezing too. I worked all day. I am not complaining one bit. At least I finally felt like I was doing something useful. I built some new reports, modified some existing ones, and actually contributed. Worked until about 6. The kid and her thing went out on a picnic around 4:30. I went over to the mall at 6 to find some new jeans to wear tomorrow night. My friend and I are going out since his wife is out of town. I wanted some black jeans to wear that didn't have holes in the knees like all my other black jeans. Found a pair on sale that will do the trick. When I got home they were back. God he fucking annoys me. Sorry but he does. I barely said two words to them the rest of the night. They watched TV for a little while then went off into the other room. I played Diablo and went to bed. I did make a new connection online and we chatted for a while. Nothing exciting since she isn't local, but it was nice talking to a new person. I daresay, friend. Heck if I am ever on the road in her part of the world at least I would have someone to hang out with which is not a bad thing. More work today and then a quiet night at home.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Y4 D231
Boring day yesterday. Actually got some new work. I did all the review and prep for it yesterday and will be starting on it today. Some real work. Should take me through today and tomorrow. I am waiting for confirmation also on a PA project. Things are starting to ramp up again. Yay. But that's about it. Kid worked from 5-10. I started my new puzzle last night. Man this thing is huge. 2000 pieces. Twice the size of the last puzzle. It's 30x40 too. It's a damn big puzzle. But watch, I will have it done by Monday. Especially since I have zero plans for this weekend. Need to stay in and hide.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Y4 D230
I am a little hungover this morning, which for a Wednesday morning isn't the best thing, but it was worth it. I let loose a bit and it was needed. I also met the future last night and it wasn't really so bad. It was honestly like a rip in time opened and I saw myself in 40 years. Here's how everything went down...
I was working on docs and classes yesterday for the most part during the day. Nothing exciting but it was work. Around 2 KBF comes over. I really don't like them together. Sorry, but I don't. She acts like a total fucking idiot around him. She forgets to be herself and it's annoying. Around 4 I decide I want to run over to the toy store to pick up puzzle glue and another puzzle. They come with me. I just couldn't take it. They were driving me nuts. We get back ad she starts asking me if I making dinner. It's like what the fuck, I have to feed him AGAIN? Ever since they have been back together I am feeding this kid. Doesn't he have his own place? Plus it was 4:30 and way too early for dinner. She wasn't even hungry. She wanted food for him. I was like no, I don't. Eat fucking leftovers. She gets pissed at me and tells me I am being a jerk. Whatever. Then they go off into the bedroom and that's when I just say fuck it and decided to go out. I went down to the local pub where I have been going lately. I actually enjoy going there because it really is a pub. Food, big tables, fireplaces, people bringing their kids in, etc. It works for me. When I get there last night there are three other guys in the place. Two at the bar and one at a table. I sit at the bar and we all are chatting with the bartender and one guy who I thought was in his late 60s starts chatting with me. Turns out he is 83. Native. Married three times, the last for 37 years to a Playboy bunny. Married when he was about 40-41. He owned companies, had money, lost money, very smart - two masters degrees including one in chemistry -, and just fun to be around. He was starting to get to me after his fourth or fifth beer, but mostly because he started to repeat himself. I don't think he is used to someone talking to him as long as I did. I found him downright fascinating because I seriously saw the future in him. A nice guy, enjoying himself, a little lonely, but harmless. Heck he even was hitting on some 50 year old. I was like damn, look at him go after the 'young girls'. Still smoked, still drank, still had spirit. I HOPE I can be like this guy in 40 years.
I came home around 8 or 8:30 and they were gone. Good. They had gone out for Indian food. I was feeling more relaxed at this point aka intoxicated. Not seriously though. I only had three drinks at the bar but I was definitely less cranky than earlier. I decided to drink two little bottles of champagne I had in the fridge when I got home. That's where the hangover is coming from for sure. I ignored them for the rest of the night as they were off in the bedroom again. I messed around on the computer for a while and then went to bed.
I did learn one thing that may be interesting in the next few months. It seems KBF's company is moving and it would be in his best interest to get an apartment near where they will be moving as it's over a bridge. If that's the case, I have a feeling the kid will start spending more time there which means I get my house back. It could be interesting shortly.
I was working on docs and classes yesterday for the most part during the day. Nothing exciting but it was work. Around 2 KBF comes over. I really don't like them together. Sorry, but I don't. She acts like a total fucking idiot around him. She forgets to be herself and it's annoying. Around 4 I decide I want to run over to the toy store to pick up puzzle glue and another puzzle. They come with me. I just couldn't take it. They were driving me nuts. We get back ad she starts asking me if I making dinner. It's like what the fuck, I have to feed him AGAIN? Ever since they have been back together I am feeding this kid. Doesn't he have his own place? Plus it was 4:30 and way too early for dinner. She wasn't even hungry. She wanted food for him. I was like no, I don't. Eat fucking leftovers. She gets pissed at me and tells me I am being a jerk. Whatever. Then they go off into the bedroom and that's when I just say fuck it and decided to go out. I went down to the local pub where I have been going lately. I actually enjoy going there because it really is a pub. Food, big tables, fireplaces, people bringing their kids in, etc. It works for me. When I get there last night there are three other guys in the place. Two at the bar and one at a table. I sit at the bar and we all are chatting with the bartender and one guy who I thought was in his late 60s starts chatting with me. Turns out he is 83. Native. Married three times, the last for 37 years to a Playboy bunny. Married when he was about 40-41. He owned companies, had money, lost money, very smart - two masters degrees including one in chemistry -, and just fun to be around. He was starting to get to me after his fourth or fifth beer, but mostly because he started to repeat himself. I don't think he is used to someone talking to him as long as I did. I found him downright fascinating because I seriously saw the future in him. A nice guy, enjoying himself, a little lonely, but harmless. Heck he even was hitting on some 50 year old. I was like damn, look at him go after the 'young girls'. Still smoked, still drank, still had spirit. I HOPE I can be like this guy in 40 years.
I came home around 8 or 8:30 and they were gone. Good. They had gone out for Indian food. I was feeling more relaxed at this point aka intoxicated. Not seriously though. I only had three drinks at the bar but I was definitely less cranky than earlier. I decided to drink two little bottles of champagne I had in the fridge when I got home. That's where the hangover is coming from for sure. I ignored them for the rest of the night as they were off in the bedroom again. I messed around on the computer for a while and then went to bed.
I did learn one thing that may be interesting in the next few months. It seems KBF's company is moving and it would be in his best interest to get an apartment near where they will be moving as it's over a bridge. If that's the case, I have a feeling the kid will start spending more time there which means I get my house back. It could be interesting shortly.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Y4 D229
Got up late this morning. I guess my body wanted sleep. I have always noticed that I am very good at waking up early if I need to but if there is nothing pressing, I could sleep all day. Worked on some training docs yesterday. Made dinner for the kid. KBF came over but then he had to leave because apparently he forgot an obligation for his sister. We watched Once and then went off into our separate caves. I did do one thing fun yesterday. I made these stuffed oreo cookie things. An oreo with a reeses in between dipped in chocolate. Horribly good and horribly fattening. But fun to make. I also bought some other groceries so there is food in the house. The kid doesn't go back to school until next week and I needed to make sure there was enough food in the house.
Another boring day.
I did get into a bit of a flame war on Facebook. It reminded me why I stop posting on there. One of my friends posted a pic of her pin board and I reciprocated with a pic of mine. This led my director to post a picture of an empty cork board with a piece of paper on it saying 'Disney Sucks'. Well excuse me. Sorry that we like something you don't. I know the intent was to be humorous but it got under my skin. It's okay for them to not like and criticize something but don't dare make fun of anything they like. God no. That would start world war three. I tried to make a funny comment that said this, but it didn't come out right. In the end I just ended up deleting everything again. It's easier that way. I will stick to tumblr and other sites where people are more accepting.
I do need to start going out and doing things. I am tired of being in the house.
Another boring day.
I did get into a bit of a flame war on Facebook. It reminded me why I stop posting on there. One of my friends posted a pic of her pin board and I reciprocated with a pic of mine. This led my director to post a picture of an empty cork board with a piece of paper on it saying 'Disney Sucks'. Well excuse me. Sorry that we like something you don't. I know the intent was to be humorous but it got under my skin. It's okay for them to not like and criticize something but don't dare make fun of anything they like. God no. That would start world war three. I tried to make a funny comment that said this, but it didn't come out right. In the end I just ended up deleting everything again. It's easier that way. I will stick to tumblr and other sites where people are more accepting.
I do need to start going out and doing things. I am tired of being in the house.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Y4 D228
I had an okay day yesterday. Nothing of any real issue. I got up, I did shit on the computer, I waited for the idiot and her idiot to get out of bed. I made pancakes, idiot went to work, I cleaned a little, watched some Batman the Animated Series, made a steak for dinner, went to bed. My entire day in three lines. Wow. Sad.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Y4 D227
I had the most interesting revelation in my dream last night. I was with a group of people all supposedly work colleagues which isn't true, but in my dream they were supposed to be. And one of them told me that my management style was influenced by the fact that my first time as a manager was with people who were hourly employees who needed the firmer hand of someone in an authoritative role rather than a guiding or mentoring role and that it has stayed with me all the years without evolving as the people I have had to lead have evolved.
Whoa.
Deep shit subconscious. Not even sure where that came from or why. But there's definite truth to it as I ponder it. Got up yesterday to a still throbbing ear. It's a little better now but not 100%. Finished my damn puzzle! Woot! Now today I need to go get some puzzle glue and finish it up. I am actually going to keep this one and frame it. I bought it with the intent of doing just that and I was very picky about the one I picked for that reason. I knew I should have bought the glue when I bought the puzzle but oh well.
The kid had XBF, now BF, come over last night. Apparently they made up and are trying it again. Whatever. I wash my hands of the whole thing. I really do. She will get her heart broken again and I will pick up the pieces as is my fatherly duty but otherwise I am staying the fuck out. Not worth the headache.
I did learn that my little Disneyland girl just broke up with her boyfriend and will be in the park on the 19th at the same time I will be. Okay, this trip just got significantly better. Booyah. I need to order some pins before I go otherwise I won't have enough traders. I will do that either later today or tomorrow. The person I order from is really good and will easily have them here in time (crosses fingers).
Went to the show last night. Good show. Nothing of any major note. No issues, no drama. Everyone seemed to have a good time and we got out of there relatively early. Smaller audience than we hoped but hey it's the first weekend in January right after NYE parties and it was raining. Can't complain that we had as many as we did. I would say probably 150ish. We need at least 120 to cover our costs and 200 is optimal in size. We did okay given that.
Today I am staying inside and relaxing. Maybe a little house cleaning, maybe not. We shall see how my ear feels.
Whoa.
Deep shit subconscious. Not even sure where that came from or why. But there's definite truth to it as I ponder it. Got up yesterday to a still throbbing ear. It's a little better now but not 100%. Finished my damn puzzle! Woot! Now today I need to go get some puzzle glue and finish it up. I am actually going to keep this one and frame it. I bought it with the intent of doing just that and I was very picky about the one I picked for that reason. I knew I should have bought the glue when I bought the puzzle but oh well.
The kid had XBF, now BF, come over last night. Apparently they made up and are trying it again. Whatever. I wash my hands of the whole thing. I really do. She will get her heart broken again and I will pick up the pieces as is my fatherly duty but otherwise I am staying the fuck out. Not worth the headache.
I did learn that my little Disneyland girl just broke up with her boyfriend and will be in the park on the 19th at the same time I will be. Okay, this trip just got significantly better. Booyah. I need to order some pins before I go otherwise I won't have enough traders. I will do that either later today or tomorrow. The person I order from is really good and will easily have them here in time (crosses fingers).
Went to the show last night. Good show. Nothing of any major note. No issues, no drama. Everyone seemed to have a good time and we got out of there relatively early. Smaller audience than we hoped but hey it's the first weekend in January right after NYE parties and it was raining. Can't complain that we had as many as we did. I would say probably 150ish. We need at least 120 to cover our costs and 200 is optimal in size. We did okay given that.
Today I am staying inside and relaxing. Maybe a little house cleaning, maybe not. We shall see how my ear feels.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Y4 D226
I haz ear infection. Now I haz sad. My ear really hurts. I can't hear out of it and it's throbbing. Luckily I have some meds from the last time I had an ear infection. Couple of times per day and hopefully it will clear up by Monday.
Yesterday was what it was. I was very stressed out about the hit on my paycheck. Still am. Was pissed off at having to clean up my friend's puke. I don't mind cleaning up after myself, but someone else? Fuck that. I ended up having to wash a blanket, a sock, and the carpet four times to get it all out. I gave her an earful that's for sure.
Ran a couple of errands. Took the kid to the mall to get her check. Comic book store. Nothing exciting. Worked more on my damn puzzle. So close to finishing it. The kid went out about 8:30 to meet up with NBF and end it. I haven't talked to her yet so I don't know how it went. Should be an interesting conversation this morning.
Went to bed around 10:30. Show tonight. Whee.
Yesterday was what it was. I was very stressed out about the hit on my paycheck. Still am. Was pissed off at having to clean up my friend's puke. I don't mind cleaning up after myself, but someone else? Fuck that. I ended up having to wash a blanket, a sock, and the carpet four times to get it all out. I gave her an earful that's for sure.
Ran a couple of errands. Took the kid to the mall to get her check. Comic book store. Nothing exciting. Worked more on my damn puzzle. So close to finishing it. The kid went out about 8:30 to meet up with NBF and end it. I haven't talked to her yet so I don't know how it went. Should be an interesting conversation this morning.
Went to bed around 10:30. Show tonight. Whee.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Y4 D225
And this is why I don't go out any more on Thursday nights. Especially when I have to be somewhere at 8am on Friday morning. Daddy's head hurts. Or - not now dear Auntie Mame is hung... Either way, that's how I am feeling right now. Most people got drunk on NYE, not me, I wait until three three days later. Whee! Less cops! More booze! Ugh.
During the day I worked on some stuff for an upcoming class. Then I worked on my puzzle. I am almost done with that bastard. It should be finished today if I have my way. Made a nice BBQ pork roast for dinner. Then around 8:15 we went out to meet a friend. Both my friend and I agree the kid needs more options to really figure out what to do with NBF and XBF. She needs to basically play the field. At least see what's out there. We took her to a local pub and when we got there it was deader than dead. All of us were a bit disappointed until at 9:15 they start setting up.... KARAOKE. Yep. Next thing you know she is singing, we are drinking and having fun, and it's midnight. See we had a solid feeling that if we got her in there before 10 no one would card her later. We didn't let her drink, but they check IDs at the door after 10. If you're already in they don't really bother. That's why we got there at 8:30. I don't know if she had fun yet or not. Our friend is passed out on my couch with one sock and a puke bucket next to her. I know she had fun.
I had fun too. I talked to a couple of nice girls. Left one my number. Let's see if anything comes of that.
I just checked my bank account. My check went down $360. Fuck me. That's a huge hit. That's $700 a month. Fuck fuck fuck. Now I am stressed.
During the day I worked on some stuff for an upcoming class. Then I worked on my puzzle. I am almost done with that bastard. It should be finished today if I have my way. Made a nice BBQ pork roast for dinner. Then around 8:15 we went out to meet a friend. Both my friend and I agree the kid needs more options to really figure out what to do with NBF and XBF. She needs to basically play the field. At least see what's out there. We took her to a local pub and when we got there it was deader than dead. All of us were a bit disappointed until at 9:15 they start setting up.... KARAOKE. Yep. Next thing you know she is singing, we are drinking and having fun, and it's midnight. See we had a solid feeling that if we got her in there before 10 no one would card her later. We didn't let her drink, but they check IDs at the door after 10. If you're already in they don't really bother. That's why we got there at 8:30. I don't know if she had fun yet or not. Our friend is passed out on my couch with one sock and a puke bucket next to her. I know she had fun.
I had fun too. I talked to a couple of nice girls. Left one my number. Let's see if anything comes of that.
I just checked my bank account. My check went down $360. Fuck me. That's a huge hit. That's $700 a month. Fuck fuck fuck. Now I am stressed.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Y4 D224
I am completely and utterly stressed out right now. I had horrible dreams and slept like shit and on top of it I am stressed about how much my paycheck is going to be tomorrow. Between the 2% tax hike and social security kicking back in, I stand to lose between 300-500 a month. That's a huge part of my buffer right now. For the next 7-8 months I will be light and this is going to drive me up a wall. I have to be extremely careful. I will know around 3am when my direct deposit hits.
Yesterday itself was fine until the evening. I did some work during the day. Nothing exciting, but enough that I was able to work. I kept all day forgetting it was Wednesday. Hell, it's hard thinking of today as Thursday. Stupid middle of the week holidays. Bunch of bullshit if you ask me. The kid left here around 11:30 to meet a friend in the city and I picked her up around 5. It was on the way home she decided to ask me for advice about NBF. Turns out the little shit is a virgin and the kid doesn't feel that way enough about him to be the one to take his virginity. I basically had to tell her that I am the worst person to ask in this case because I am a whore. I told her to call one of our mutual friends who is closer to her age and has dealt more with this kind of thing. She came over around 9 and they had a long talk. I think the kid is feeling better which is good. One thing less to worry about. Of course now she is probably going to break up with NBF which means a month of moping and sadness around here. I want my alone time back some days. Yesterday was one of them.
Worked on my puzzle for a while as we ate dinner. Watched some Teen Titans. Nothing more. But I feel my head sliding back which isn't good. Especially since I have a show in two days. What fucking day is it?? Argh. I plan to go into hiding again. Only way to not spend money. I can hide in the house and be invisible.
Yesterday itself was fine until the evening. I did some work during the day. Nothing exciting, but enough that I was able to work. I kept all day forgetting it was Wednesday. Hell, it's hard thinking of today as Thursday. Stupid middle of the week holidays. Bunch of bullshit if you ask me. The kid left here around 11:30 to meet a friend in the city and I picked her up around 5. It was on the way home she decided to ask me for advice about NBF. Turns out the little shit is a virgin and the kid doesn't feel that way enough about him to be the one to take his virginity. I basically had to tell her that I am the worst person to ask in this case because I am a whore. I told her to call one of our mutual friends who is closer to her age and has dealt more with this kind of thing. She came over around 9 and they had a long talk. I think the kid is feeling better which is good. One thing less to worry about. Of course now she is probably going to break up with NBF which means a month of moping and sadness around here. I want my alone time back some days. Yesterday was one of them.
Worked on my puzzle for a while as we ate dinner. Watched some Teen Titans. Nothing more. But I feel my head sliding back which isn't good. Especially since I have a show in two days. What fucking day is it?? Argh. I plan to go into hiding again. Only way to not spend money. I can hide in the house and be invisible.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Y4 D223
VERY tired this morning. I think whatever illness the kid had the other day has been transfered to me. My throat is sore and I am very lethargic right now. Can barely move. Everything aches and my head has a low throb. Hopefully I can shake this off quickly.
Did NOTHING yesterday. Worked on my puzzle, made french toast for the kid, and stayed in the house. I did go out for a little while but that was to the grocery store. I am so confused as to what day it is. Yesterday felt like a Sunday but in my head I knew it was a Tuesday. I dislike holidays in the middle of the week. Very odd indeed.
Went to bed early because I wasn't feeling well but didn't sleep well either. Fell asleep around nine, but then woke up again at 3. One of those nights. This weather is lousy too. It's too fucking cold in this apartment.
I changed my OKC profile yesterday. New year, new updates. Let's see if that helps attract anything. I doubt it of course because as we all know, I am destined to be alone forever. Yep. That's how I feel. Whatever.
Did NOTHING yesterday. Worked on my puzzle, made french toast for the kid, and stayed in the house. I did go out for a little while but that was to the grocery store. I am so confused as to what day it is. Yesterday felt like a Sunday but in my head I knew it was a Tuesday. I dislike holidays in the middle of the week. Very odd indeed.
Went to bed early because I wasn't feeling well but didn't sleep well either. Fell asleep around nine, but then woke up again at 3. One of those nights. This weather is lousy too. It's too fucking cold in this apartment.
I changed my OKC profile yesterday. New year, new updates. Let's see if that helps attract anything. I doubt it of course because as we all know, I am destined to be alone forever. Yep. That's how I feel. Whatever.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Y4 D222
Happy new year. So far so good? I am sober and awake despite having done a show last night. Which is just throwing me off. It appears in every way to be a Sunday - home at 3:45, up at 8, but no, it's Tuesday. We all agree that next year no actual NYE show. Too stressful especially since we have another one Saturday. Upside is the next one isn't until 1/26. So almost three weeks of freedom. I am thinking there is a Disney trip somewhere in there. I have to wait and see if I am on the road in January still though. I should find out tomorrow if I am packing a bag.
Quiet day. Worked more on my puzzle. Worked on some work stuff, but not much because no one was really around. Pretty much everyone took yesterday off. I am going as not assigned because it wasn't my fault. I took PTO last week. Not this week too dammit.
NBF came over around 6:30 and we had pizza. I introduced him to the fun of the Kinect. A little bittersweet because the last time I really played anything on there I still had TXGF. Lot of pictures of her and I playing together. I need to delete them. Yes, delete them. I have enough pictures of her already that I don't need my game console reminding me too.
Left for the show around 9:30. Solid show. I did security last night which was more fun than dealing with tech shit. Basically I got a night off. Had to only deal with a couple of drunk people both girls who weren't really causing trouble. Just puking and getting lost on their way to their seats. No one had to be ejected or dealt with harshly. I personally did not drink last night. I figured the last place I wanted to start a new year was in the drunk tank. See? Already making good decisions.
It was NBF's first time at a show. He is getting used to how me and the kid interact a little bit. Like most people his age he finds it odd that we do things together.
Came home and went right to bed. Now to relax today as it is Sunday, no wait, a holiday!
Quiet day. Worked more on my puzzle. Worked on some work stuff, but not much because no one was really around. Pretty much everyone took yesterday off. I am going as not assigned because it wasn't my fault. I took PTO last week. Not this week too dammit.
NBF came over around 6:30 and we had pizza. I introduced him to the fun of the Kinect. A little bittersweet because the last time I really played anything on there I still had TXGF. Lot of pictures of her and I playing together. I need to delete them. Yes, delete them. I have enough pictures of her already that I don't need my game console reminding me too.
Left for the show around 9:30. Solid show. I did security last night which was more fun than dealing with tech shit. Basically I got a night off. Had to only deal with a couple of drunk people both girls who weren't really causing trouble. Just puking and getting lost on their way to their seats. No one had to be ejected or dealt with harshly. I personally did not drink last night. I figured the last place I wanted to start a new year was in the drunk tank. See? Already making good decisions.
It was NBF's first time at a show. He is getting used to how me and the kid interact a little bit. Like most people his age he finds it odd that we do things together.
Came home and went right to bed. Now to relax today as it is Sunday, no wait, a holiday!
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