Y4 D250

I lost it last night. Went to the dark place. Just got so overwhelmed with everything I went down the spiral. I am coming back up but it was rough going for a little while there. I worked all day on some documents. Took care of that. Around 5 I needed out of the house and walked the two miles to the pub. For some reason right now, the kid and the car situation is bugging the shit out of me. I want my car back. She has a perfectly good car sitting there and yet it sits there. Fucking pisses me off that I have to once again sacrifice for her. Not as mad at her as I am the other people in her life who don't even bother to offer to help - her mother, her grandmother. They know the situation and yet they do nothing. I am also pissed off because walking home last night in the cold I dropped my goddamn new phone. Screen is shattered. I don't know if it can be fixed or replaced or what. I have to go over today and find out and OH WAIT SHE NEEDS THE FUCKING CAR. See? Ugh. I am frustrated. I think I will let her take it to work, but then drive her to the train for school.

THANK GOD I have B. She was worried about me last night and stayed up all night until I texted her this morning. She has suffered from depression as well and knows what it is like when you hit the wall. When you spiral down. She knew not to bug me, not to freak out, etc. How is it possible that someone I have known for such a short time can know me so well?

Fuck. Still not 100%. Don't feel like typing any more.