A sad day yesterday. Not sad because of any events, just sad upstairs in the ol' noggin. Spent eh day staring at the screen waiting for things to get fixed on the client side. They finally did at 1pm. By that point I was in no mood to do anything. I will probably work today, tomorrow, and Monday to make up for it. While all that was going on the kid was in a less mopey mood but not happy either. We both kind of just were here yesterday but not really. We didn't leave the house except for one trip around 5 where we went and got rabbit food. I cleaned out the rat cages.
Yeah, that's about it. I was supposed to go over to a friend's house and start a new D&D campaign but didn't feel like it. Just didn't want to move. TGF hung out with her friends most of the night. She called me around 9 all sad as well. She was feeling bad because first she locked her keys in her car then she knocked over a hookah which burnt her bathroom rug and then finally while hanging out with her 'friends' she realized that except for one of them she no longer has anything in common with them. That last one is tough. I have been there and know how that feels. I tried to remind her of all the new friends she has made in the last six months who care about her, but it wasn't getting through. I get it. I did the best I could trying to make her feel better. The kid and I for most of the night had a Buffy/Angel marathon. We stayed up until almost one watching episodes. Mostly because I wanted to know the truth about Dawn. It was pissing me off.
Tonight is a show and oh yeah, New Year's Eve. Whoop dee doo...
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
Y3 D219
Another late start this morning. My enthusiasm is waning for this project because of all the errors on the client side. I can't find the motivation to move quickly.
Spent the day chasing down errors yesterday. No resolution still. I really can't remember what else I did yesterday during the day because of it. I didn't go anywhere, I know that. TGF got up around 11:30 and we spent time together while I worked. I made everyone food. Everyone being me, TGF, and the kid. Who by the way is in a crappy ass mood. She is sad because the boyfriend went out of town for New Years and couldn't bring her with him. And add to that her monthly feminine issue and what I have is hormone central going on.
I did spend some time writing an email that I plan to send to my directors next week. It basically says it's been six months since TGF and I started going out and while you don't have to like her you have to accept that we are a couple or you're going to lose me. That's the long and short of it. I was going to send it yesterday but after getting some feedback from other people and watching some drama unfold in our mailing list about some other things, I decided the best approach is to wait until next week. Chicken shit of me? Yep.
Around 4:45 I was supposed to leave to go do training with a friend. As we left TGF went to get in her car and go home. Unfortunately she left her interior light on all night and her battery was dead. Luckily she had jumper cables but they were buried under 40 pounds of crap in her trunk. I snapped a little because she was making me late and it was a ridiculous amount of junk in there. I told her she really needs to clean out her car. I wasn't mean about it, just frustrated at trying to help her out. I ended up being about 5 minutes late so it wasn't a big deal but...
I trained my friend for about 2 hours. Her boss saw me there and was happy that he was getting free training for one of his employees. Since we were doing it after hours and under the radar it was cool. She then took me out for dinner as a thank you. That was nice. We had a good talk and relaxed. I got home around 8 something. Watched X-Files with the kid who was still in a grumpy mopey mood, then headed to bed.
Called TGF and my earlier thing about cleaning was bad. You see the minute she walked in the door her mother jumped on her about cleaning her room because 'you can't start a new year with a messy room!'. Um sure. Whatever? She was completely stressed out and my comments about cleaning her car hadn't helped. We talked for about an hour and I got her somewhat in a better mood. Let's see today how much better.
Fell asleep around 11. I guess I needed the sleep as I didn't get up until 8 this morning. Now back to my database issues...
Spent the day chasing down errors yesterday. No resolution still. I really can't remember what else I did yesterday during the day because of it. I didn't go anywhere, I know that. TGF got up around 11:30 and we spent time together while I worked. I made everyone food. Everyone being me, TGF, and the kid. Who by the way is in a crappy ass mood. She is sad because the boyfriend went out of town for New Years and couldn't bring her with him. And add to that her monthly feminine issue and what I have is hormone central going on.
I did spend some time writing an email that I plan to send to my directors next week. It basically says it's been six months since TGF and I started going out and while you don't have to like her you have to accept that we are a couple or you're going to lose me. That's the long and short of it. I was going to send it yesterday but after getting some feedback from other people and watching some drama unfold in our mailing list about some other things, I decided the best approach is to wait until next week. Chicken shit of me? Yep.
Around 4:45 I was supposed to leave to go do training with a friend. As we left TGF went to get in her car and go home. Unfortunately she left her interior light on all night and her battery was dead. Luckily she had jumper cables but they were buried under 40 pounds of crap in her trunk. I snapped a little because she was making me late and it was a ridiculous amount of junk in there. I told her she really needs to clean out her car. I wasn't mean about it, just frustrated at trying to help her out. I ended up being about 5 minutes late so it wasn't a big deal but...
I trained my friend for about 2 hours. Her boss saw me there and was happy that he was getting free training for one of his employees. Since we were doing it after hours and under the radar it was cool. She then took me out for dinner as a thank you. That was nice. We had a good talk and relaxed. I got home around 8 something. Watched X-Files with the kid who was still in a grumpy mopey mood, then headed to bed.
Called TGF and my earlier thing about cleaning was bad. You see the minute she walked in the door her mother jumped on her about cleaning her room because 'you can't start a new year with a messy room!'. Um sure. Whatever? She was completely stressed out and my comments about cleaning her car hadn't helped. We talked for about an hour and I got her somewhat in a better mood. Let's see today how much better.
Fell asleep around 11. I guess I needed the sleep as I didn't get up until 8 this morning. Now back to my database issues...
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Y3 D218
I had a very frustrating work day yesterday and am not looking forward to today. First off I got up later than I wanted because of the time difference between me and the client. I was hoping to be up at 5 to work on their stuff but that didn't happen. We are having a DB connection issue and the one guy who is able to offer the most help is in the UK and pretty much done by 8 or 9am my time. This really messes up the schedule. I tried working all day and was sitting waiting but got almost nothing accomplished. I don't want to have to defend myself to my bosses, but at the same time I have very little to show. Frustrating.
I did run a couple of errands yesterday. One of which was going to target to get some 'normal' stuff we were almost out of or already out of - garbage bags, razors, toilet paper, etc. It's amazing how much more of that stuff I go through with people in the house. You don't realize it when you live alone but it's a luxury that a roll of paper towels lasts two weeks instead of three days. I know, first world white whine problems.
The second errand was a little more self serving. I bought a large bulletin board. 36x48. For a while I have had this blank section of wall which I had no idea what to do with. It's big and empty. I figured it out. I guess I was waiting for the moment when I had something important to put up there. On said bulletin board are our Disney pins. And pictures from the last three Disney trips. I fucking love it. It makes me happy. I need a little light to shine on it but otherwise, it's awesome. There's pictures of me and TGF, the kid and KBF, and then all 200 of our pins.
TGF came over around 3 yesterday, also loving the board, and we just hung out. I made slow cooker gumbo for friends who were coming over later and it was a cooking. We played some video games, relaxed, had afternoon sex, then waited for our friends. The kid had spent the day with her mother and came home around 5 with stories to tell. She ended up going to the city with her mother, sister, aunt, and two cousins. They drive her insane. They are so not like us that she wants to strangle them. They act like they are from another planet sometimes. She had some fun stuff to share with us.
Our friends came over around six. We had a nice time just talking, eating gumbo, and hanging out. They brought us sixteen new pins from their Disney trip. Our board is looking good. Six complete collections. Oh yeah.
We went to bed around 11 and then proceeded to have sex again. Twice. Yes, three times in one day. Yeah.
This is why I overslept again this morning. Oh well. Time to log on and see if anything useful happened while I slept...
I did run a couple of errands yesterday. One of which was going to target to get some 'normal' stuff we were almost out of or already out of - garbage bags, razors, toilet paper, etc. It's amazing how much more of that stuff I go through with people in the house. You don't realize it when you live alone but it's a luxury that a roll of paper towels lasts two weeks instead of three days. I know, first world white whine problems.
The second errand was a little more self serving. I bought a large bulletin board. 36x48. For a while I have had this blank section of wall which I had no idea what to do with. It's big and empty. I figured it out. I guess I was waiting for the moment when I had something important to put up there. On said bulletin board are our Disney pins. And pictures from the last three Disney trips. I fucking love it. It makes me happy. I need a little light to shine on it but otherwise, it's awesome. There's pictures of me and TGF, the kid and KBF, and then all 200 of our pins.
TGF came over around 3 yesterday, also loving the board, and we just hung out. I made slow cooker gumbo for friends who were coming over later and it was a cooking. We played some video games, relaxed, had afternoon sex, then waited for our friends. The kid had spent the day with her mother and came home around 5 with stories to tell. She ended up going to the city with her mother, sister, aunt, and two cousins. They drive her insane. They are so not like us that she wants to strangle them. They act like they are from another planet sometimes. She had some fun stuff to share with us.
Our friends came over around six. We had a nice time just talking, eating gumbo, and hanging out. They brought us sixteen new pins from their Disney trip. Our board is looking good. Six complete collections. Oh yeah.
We went to bed around 11 and then proceeded to have sex again. Twice. Yes, three times in one day. Yeah.
This is why I overslept again this morning. Oh well. Time to log on and see if anything useful happened while I slept...
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Y3 D217
Man I made a huge mistake last night - no nothing stupid or anything. More silly than stupid. X1 showed up at her mother's yesterday for the holidays and the kid went over there around 3 then went to work at 6:30. TGF went home around 6 to spend time with her family. So, here I am all alone by 7. Sitting around doing nothing I decided to watch some stuff in my instant queue on Netflix. Remember, night time, all alone. What do I decide to watch? The first Paranormal Activity. Yeah. That was a mistake. Freaked the hell out myself. Oh man that was dumb. When the movie was over around 9 something I had to turn on every light in the house and talked to TGF on the phone for an hour before I was able to go to bed. I knew it wasn't real but boy did it freak me out. Movies like that always do yet I watch them. Slasher movies don't bother me. I love me a good hack and slash. But the more subtle freaky kind trip me. Shudder.
The day itself was okay. I am having some work issues and still fighting it right now. Too many people were out of the office yesterday which made it challenging for me to get any kind of reasonable response on issues. I spent most of the day battling a connection issue. I am still fighting it this morning but I got up early on purpose to make sure they were all still in the office. Once I get this issue resolved I can keep working without them, but right now I am stuck. Frustrating. This is the one downside to working remote and being in different time zones. When you need a quick answer forget it.
After battling that for a while the three of us went out for a quick bite to eat. Well first we went to the Danish bakery for some cookies, the SPCA to see about adopting a snake and/or a bird, then to the Hawaiian BBQ for some lunch. Back home around 3 and then it was video game time. As I said, the poor kid had to leave early. She was not happy at the thought of seeing her mother and dealing with that shit. Let's see what she is going to have to do today.
Me and TGF played more Disney and got frustrated at all the hidden shit. Another game not meant for those with OCD that's for sure.
Today I am working and then tonight some friends are coming over for dinner and to bring us new Disney pins they got on their last trip. This should be a fun evening.
The day itself was okay. I am having some work issues and still fighting it right now. Too many people were out of the office yesterday which made it challenging for me to get any kind of reasonable response on issues. I spent most of the day battling a connection issue. I am still fighting it this morning but I got up early on purpose to make sure they were all still in the office. Once I get this issue resolved I can keep working without them, but right now I am stuck. Frustrating. This is the one downside to working remote and being in different time zones. When you need a quick answer forget it.
After battling that for a while the three of us went out for a quick bite to eat. Well first we went to the Danish bakery for some cookies, the SPCA to see about adopting a snake and/or a bird, then to the Hawaiian BBQ for some lunch. Back home around 3 and then it was video game time. As I said, the poor kid had to leave early. She was not happy at the thought of seeing her mother and dealing with that shit. Let's see what she is going to have to do today.
Me and TGF played more Disney and got frustrated at all the hidden shit. Another game not meant for those with OCD that's for sure.
Today I am working and then tonight some friends are coming over for dinner and to bring us new Disney pins they got on their last trip. This should be a fun evening.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Y3 D216
Yesterday was good. Got up at 3:30 briefly to wake the kid up. She slept through her alarm as I had a feeling she would. It was no big deal for me. I was literally up for five minutes to make sure she got up. With that done I went back to bed until 7:30. Had to get over that it was Monday but was a holiday. My first thoughts were I needed to start working but oh wait, not today. That was weird yet nice. I was able to move at my own pace for the morning. I spent the morning reading my comics, relaxing, cleaning up the house, moving some stuff around to accomodate the new Christmas stuff, sent some emails, etc. Around 9:30 I took a long hot relaxing shower. One of those kind where you let the water burn the hell out of you because it feels good. I then started playing some of my new video games. The kid came home around 1 and TGF came over shortly thereafter. The three of us ventured out to the record store to see if we could find any good music to put on their new MP3 players. The trip was unsuccessful but we then stopped at the grocery store to pick up stuff for dinner and for the dinner we are having tomorrow. Our friends went to Disneyland over the holiday and scored us 16 (!!) new pins for our collections. In exchange I agreed to make them dinner as well as give them enough trader pins to cover theirs. They are coming over tomorrow night.
For dinner for us we had a mashup of Hawaiian and Chinese - spam musubi rolls with chicken teriyaki and pork buns. We watched the rest of Once Upon a Time and we are now caught up. I have the rest of the series set up in my DVR and when it starts airing again in January we are ready to go. I did get an interesting email from DirectTV speaking of television. It appears they will be raising their rates 4% come February. I guess I have one month to decide what I want to do. I am very seriously thinking now is the time that I cancel. I mean come on, I know I have been talking about it for three years, but I now have a google tv, an apple tv, an xbox, netflix, and all I have to do is add in Hulu and I am done. I will throw an HDTV antenna on for good measure and there won't be anything I can't find somewhere. Plus I would get more room on my patio. Oh speaking of that there are some new apartments near by they have just renovated that I want to go check out. They have a 2/1 town home which is slightly larger than mine for just about the same rent. My lease is up in a few months and if I get another raise here, it might be worth moving. I may go over there this afternoon and check them out.
When we got home I got a call from our director. At 5:48 she was calling me to come over for a birthday party at 7. Really? While I appreciate the call (even though I know other friends were called at 2), I am not about to drive a 1/2 hour on a work night to drink. Sorry. Not happening TGF or no TGF.
After dinner we watched a Buffy and then the kid who had been up for 16 hours and was getting cranky went off to bed. Me and TGF played video games but specifically we played the Disney game we got for Christmas. I love/hate that game. While it is made for kids, there are enough 'hidden' things to find to keep adults, especially Disney adults, entertained. 96 hidden attraction pins, hundreds of hidden Mickeys throughout the park, different award pins ARGH. We ended up playing from 9:30 until 11:30 and had she not stopped me we would have kept going. Never give someone with OCD a game that makes you find things. I won't stop. Not until the damn thing is complete. Some people don't understand why I use books or cheat codes on games. It's this reason. I am so OCD about certain things that I will play WAY too long to find everything. At least with books or cheats I can jump through it quicker and put it away.
Went to bed and spent some quality cuddling time before falling asleep. No sex but that is because of mother nature, not desire. Fell asleep around 1 something.
Working today on client's model. Having some issues so far, but nothing I can't deal with.
For dinner for us we had a mashup of Hawaiian and Chinese - spam musubi rolls with chicken teriyaki and pork buns. We watched the rest of Once Upon a Time and we are now caught up. I have the rest of the series set up in my DVR and when it starts airing again in January we are ready to go. I did get an interesting email from DirectTV speaking of television. It appears they will be raising their rates 4% come February. I guess I have one month to decide what I want to do. I am very seriously thinking now is the time that I cancel. I mean come on, I know I have been talking about it for three years, but I now have a google tv, an apple tv, an xbox, netflix, and all I have to do is add in Hulu and I am done. I will throw an HDTV antenna on for good measure and there won't be anything I can't find somewhere. Plus I would get more room on my patio. Oh speaking of that there are some new apartments near by they have just renovated that I want to go check out. They have a 2/1 town home which is slightly larger than mine for just about the same rent. My lease is up in a few months and if I get another raise here, it might be worth moving. I may go over there this afternoon and check them out.
When we got home I got a call from our director. At 5:48 she was calling me to come over for a birthday party at 7. Really? While I appreciate the call (even though I know other friends were called at 2), I am not about to drive a 1/2 hour on a work night to drink. Sorry. Not happening TGF or no TGF.
After dinner we watched a Buffy and then the kid who had been up for 16 hours and was getting cranky went off to bed. Me and TGF played video games but specifically we played the Disney game we got for Christmas. I love/hate that game. While it is made for kids, there are enough 'hidden' things to find to keep adults, especially Disney adults, entertained. 96 hidden attraction pins, hundreds of hidden Mickeys throughout the park, different award pins ARGH. We ended up playing from 9:30 until 11:30 and had she not stopped me we would have kept going. Never give someone with OCD a game that makes you find things. I won't stop. Not until the damn thing is complete. Some people don't understand why I use books or cheat codes on games. It's this reason. I am so OCD about certain things that I will play WAY too long to find everything. At least with books or cheats I can jump through it quicker and put it away.
Went to bed and spent some quality cuddling time before falling asleep. No sex but that is because of mother nature, not desire. Fell asleep around 1 something.
Working today on client's model. Having some issues so far, but nothing I can't deal with.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Y3 D215
Christmas was a success. BAMF. A 100% knock it out of the mother fucking park success. Rampant commercialism attacked my house in all its glory. It was a magical wonderful time of year. Yes, in some respect I am being sarcastic, but I am also being truthful because I haven't felt this useful and happy on Christmas in quite a while. Even when I was with X2 it didn't come as close as the feeling I had yesterday. Time for the play by play...
I woke up at 6:20. I knew I wasn't going to get anyone else up at that time so I went ahead and puttered around for a while. Did my blog entry, read my comics, etc. At 7:50 I started making cocoa for the three of them and 8:02 I made them all get up using my mouth of doom at volume levels that would hurt normal humans. But hey, one is my offspring, the other is dating the offspring, and one is with me - get used to it people.
I sat them all in their proper spaces and the commercialism of Christmas began. I made sure I included KBF by having him open the "To Everyone" gifts. This made the kid happy that I included him in things. A small sampling of what I got yesterday:
- a new necklace from the kid
- from TGF - a tigger pillow, video game, tea set with tea, a t-shirt, a fuzzy blanket, Disney pins
- from KBF - dish towels (really nice ones too)
- from 'Santa' - a new printer, a hot dog machine, more video games, two books, a t-shirt, a jacket
The best part was when TGF opened her presents. Little Miss "I can't be surprised" was surprised. Don't fuck with me kids. I am the master of the holidays. When she opened Season 1 of the UK version of Skins the look on her face just filled me with such satisfaction, joy, and happiness. Yeah, I did that. I found you the UK version of the show you love. Yep. Me. Good boyfriend. Pat me on the head and promise me sex later. Yep.
Around 11 everything was opened, looked at, and things cleaned up. From there KBF had to go to his family stuff, the kid had to go to grandma's house, and me and TGF settled in to play some of the new video games. You know how awesome it is to have a girlfriend who enjoys playing video games?? We played for an hour or two then I used the new hot dog machine to make lunch. She ended up leaving around 3 to do her family stuff. I spent the rest of the day cleaning up and getting as much put away as I had energy to do. The tree is still up, but everything else is gone. The kid came back around 5 and my friends came over at 7. Me, the kid, and two of my friends proceeded to have the traditional Chinese food dinner.
Back home at 8 and the kid went to bed. She had to be at work at 4am this morning. I stayed up and talked to TGF for a while, set up the new printer, and relaxed. In bed and asleep by 11. Happy fucking Christmas to me.
I hope all of you dear readers had a good day too.
I woke up at 6:20. I knew I wasn't going to get anyone else up at that time so I went ahead and puttered around for a while. Did my blog entry, read my comics, etc. At 7:50 I started making cocoa for the three of them and 8:02 I made them all get up using my mouth of doom at volume levels that would hurt normal humans. But hey, one is my offspring, the other is dating the offspring, and one is with me - get used to it people.
I sat them all in their proper spaces and the commercialism of Christmas began. I made sure I included KBF by having him open the "To Everyone" gifts. This made the kid happy that I included him in things. A small sampling of what I got yesterday:
- a new necklace from the kid
- from TGF - a tigger pillow, video game, tea set with tea, a t-shirt, a fuzzy blanket, Disney pins
- from KBF - dish towels (really nice ones too)
- from 'Santa' - a new printer, a hot dog machine, more video games, two books, a t-shirt, a jacket
The best part was when TGF opened her presents. Little Miss "I can't be surprised" was surprised. Don't fuck with me kids. I am the master of the holidays. When she opened Season 1 of the UK version of Skins the look on her face just filled me with such satisfaction, joy, and happiness. Yeah, I did that. I found you the UK version of the show you love. Yep. Me. Good boyfriend. Pat me on the head and promise me sex later. Yep.
Around 11 everything was opened, looked at, and things cleaned up. From there KBF had to go to his family stuff, the kid had to go to grandma's house, and me and TGF settled in to play some of the new video games. You know how awesome it is to have a girlfriend who enjoys playing video games?? We played for an hour or two then I used the new hot dog machine to make lunch. She ended up leaving around 3 to do her family stuff. I spent the rest of the day cleaning up and getting as much put away as I had energy to do. The tree is still up, but everything else is gone. The kid came back around 5 and my friends came over at 7. Me, the kid, and two of my friends proceeded to have the traditional Chinese food dinner.
Back home at 8 and the kid went to bed. She had to be at work at 4am this morning. I stayed up and talked to TGF for a while, set up the new printer, and relaxed. In bed and asleep by 11. Happy fucking Christmas to me.
I hope all of you dear readers had a good day too.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Y3 D214
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG IT'S CHRISTMAS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG IT'S CHRISTMAS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG IT'S CHRISTMAS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG IT'S CHRISTMAS
Yep. It's Christmas. Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy.
Woke up a few minutes ago and the wave of happiness that came over me was incredible. Not alone today. Not alone.
Spent most of the day yesterday in the house getting ready for today. Cleaned, organized, prepped for dinner, got my Christmas movie set ready, playlist ready for this morning. KBF and TGF were both over by 2 and we started in watching Christmas movies - Die Hard, followed by 5 episodes of South Park Christmas specials, followed by Grinch, Charlie Brown, and finished up with Always Sunny. Oh yeah.
Made cornish game hens, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, and a pecan pie. AND a small Christmas miracle happened - I had ONE present still on order that wasn't supposed to get here until next week but it arrived yesterday. JOY!
Oh man I am fucking happy today beyond belief. Time to do this!
Yep. It's Christmas. Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy.
Woke up a few minutes ago and the wave of happiness that came over me was incredible. Not alone today. Not alone.
Spent most of the day yesterday in the house getting ready for today. Cleaned, organized, prepped for dinner, got my Christmas movie set ready, playlist ready for this morning. KBF and TGF were both over by 2 and we started in watching Christmas movies - Die Hard, followed by 5 episodes of South Park Christmas specials, followed by Grinch, Charlie Brown, and finished up with Always Sunny. Oh yeah.
Made cornish game hens, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, and a pecan pie. AND a small Christmas miracle happened - I had ONE present still on order that wasn't supposed to get here until next week but it arrived yesterday. JOY!
Oh man I am fucking happy today beyond belief. Time to do this!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Y3 D213
Best part of yesterday morning was when I send an email out to 4 of the people I am working with and within seconds three come back with OOO responses. Yeah, I am not 100% today. I did some work yesterday but kind of goofed a little bit. Around 2 I wrapped it up and went out to do some shopping. Mostly it was grocery shopping as we were running low on food and household items. Plus I am doing dinner tonight for the kid, TGF, and KBF so I wanted to pick up something nice. I also stopped at Best Buy because my headphones broke on the NY trip and headphones are something I need. I ended up finding a nice pair of Sony noise canceling headphones for $50. Of course I wrapped them up when I got home. I also did stocking stuffer shopping yesterday. All three stockings are filled and ready to go. TGF had gone home around 1 as she needed to clean her house. She procrastinated most of the day about it though. I hung out with my friend while she was doing all that. Got back around 5 and started in on laundry. KBF came over and they were all snoggy on the couch until she had to go to work at 9:30. I don't know what time she got home this morning but yesterday she ended up working until after 5am. I expect she got home at a similar time today. Right before I went to bed I got a text from a friend who is down at Disneyland for Christmas. He found us five more pins! Yay! We are even closer to completing two more collections now. Talked to TGF for a while before going to bed around 11 something.
I am so excited for tonight and tomorrow I think I might explode. I need to do some house cleaning today, but otherwise it's just going to be that long haul between now and tomorrow morning. I can do it. I can make it before exploding. I hope.
I am so excited for tonight and tomorrow I think I might explode. I need to do some house cleaning today, but otherwise it's just going to be that long haul between now and tomorrow morning. I can do it. I can make it before exploding. I hope.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Y3 D212
Getting a late start today. Ended up going to a Christmas party last night very last minute and very unplanned. And now I pay for it. Although the nice part is that while I am getting a late start it's not THAT late. It's only 8:30 which is when most people get into the office. In my case though since I am working with east coast and UK folks on this project to them the day is almost over. From that perspective I am getting a very late start. Oh well. Deal with it.
Day started with a very early meeting. 6:30am to be exact. One of the persons in the UK when I got on the call realized "oh dear, you're not in the east coast offices are you? This must be a god awful time". Yes, yes it is, but I can hang.
Worked until about noon when I went off to lunch with a friend. That turned into a bit of a hairy adventure. We went to this one place where the service was just awful. While we were at lunch the kid calls to tell me she got got called into work and had to be there in 20 minutes. Um yeah, not going to happen. We hadn't even received our food yet. We managed to get them to throw something in a bag for us which was nowhere near what we ordered. I got to the kid about 25 minutes later and she went off to work from 1:45 until 4. She then had to go back from 10pm until 4am. I haven't seen her yet this morning to know how well that worked out for her.
TGF came over around 3 or 4 and when I finished working we started watching Once Upon a Time. Wow. What a great show. How the hell have I missed this?? We got through three episodes. While we were watching the third my friend called and invited us to her last minute Christmas shindig.
We got there around 8. They had it in the clubhouse at their apartment complex. There were about 8 of us and we had fun playing pool, drinking, etc. It ended up going later than I planned because I drank more than I planned, but oh well. We got home around 1 and crashed out.
It's almost Christmas and I can't wait. Today I am working from home again and then heading out this afternoon for stocking stuffers.
Day started with a very early meeting. 6:30am to be exact. One of the persons in the UK when I got on the call realized "oh dear, you're not in the east coast offices are you? This must be a god awful time". Yes, yes it is, but I can hang.
Worked until about noon when I went off to lunch with a friend. That turned into a bit of a hairy adventure. We went to this one place where the service was just awful. While we were at lunch the kid calls to tell me she got got called into work and had to be there in 20 minutes. Um yeah, not going to happen. We hadn't even received our food yet. We managed to get them to throw something in a bag for us which was nowhere near what we ordered. I got to the kid about 25 minutes later and she went off to work from 1:45 until 4. She then had to go back from 10pm until 4am. I haven't seen her yet this morning to know how well that worked out for her.
TGF came over around 3 or 4 and when I finished working we started watching Once Upon a Time. Wow. What a great show. How the hell have I missed this?? We got through three episodes. While we were watching the third my friend called and invited us to her last minute Christmas shindig.
We got there around 8. They had it in the clubhouse at their apartment complex. There were about 8 of us and we had fun playing pool, drinking, etc. It ended up going later than I planned because I drank more than I planned, but oh well. We got home around 1 and crashed out.
It's almost Christmas and I can't wait. Today I am working from home again and then heading out this afternoon for stocking stuffers.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Y3 D211
Christmas Christmas Christmas! It's almost Christmas. Yay! I am so excited this year because I actually have someone to share it with. Someone who makes me happy. Yay!!
I am awake and functional this morning. Do not ask for more than that.
Had a good productive day yesterday. Even though I worked from home and had the kid and TGF here most of the day I managed to ignore them both and get through quite a bit. Worked from about 7am until TGF got up and then we talked for a while. The kid got up a little later around 10. Both were feeling pretty crappy still but for different reasons. TGF felt like shit because she had a hangover. Um duh? She kept apologizing and it took most of the day but it finally sunk in that she had nothing to be sorry about. It happens and guess what as long as we are together, it will happen again. We will see each other drunk and odds are puking. Deal with it.
Around 11 I started making my apple butter. It takes 10-12 hours to cook and I have been waiting until I had a day at home to start it. I just realized I didn't leave the house yesterday but that's okay. Around 1, TGF went on home. Around 3:30 the kid passed out on the couch. I just kept working through all this.
I finished up around six. Talked to TGF for a while on the phone. The kid was finally happy because KBF called. I am wondering what is going on with him. He better not have been using my kid to get laid. I swear if he dumps her before the end of the year I will bitch slap that little shit three ways to Sunday. Hell even better I will sic my director on him. She will kick his ass for me. He I think is just a dumb guy who doesn't think but he needs to realize he is hurting my kid which is NOT a good thing.
Watched some Buffy and some Angel. Kid went off to work around 8 as she had to work from 9pm to 1am. I finished jarring up my stuff around 11 and went off to bed. Talked to TGF for a little while. She found out she is free Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. YES! I get to experience waking up with someone and opening presents. That too is fueling my excitement.
66 hours to go baby...
I am awake and functional this morning. Do not ask for more than that.
Had a good productive day yesterday. Even though I worked from home and had the kid and TGF here most of the day I managed to ignore them both and get through quite a bit. Worked from about 7am until TGF got up and then we talked for a while. The kid got up a little later around 10. Both were feeling pretty crappy still but for different reasons. TGF felt like shit because she had a hangover. Um duh? She kept apologizing and it took most of the day but it finally sunk in that she had nothing to be sorry about. It happens and guess what as long as we are together, it will happen again. We will see each other drunk and odds are puking. Deal with it.
Around 11 I started making my apple butter. It takes 10-12 hours to cook and I have been waiting until I had a day at home to start it. I just realized I didn't leave the house yesterday but that's okay. Around 1, TGF went on home. Around 3:30 the kid passed out on the couch. I just kept working through all this.
I finished up around six. Talked to TGF for a while on the phone. The kid was finally happy because KBF called. I am wondering what is going on with him. He better not have been using my kid to get laid. I swear if he dumps her before the end of the year I will bitch slap that little shit three ways to Sunday. Hell even better I will sic my director on him. She will kick his ass for me. He I think is just a dumb guy who doesn't think but he needs to realize he is hurting my kid which is NOT a good thing.
Watched some Buffy and some Angel. Kid went off to work around 8 as she had to work from 9pm to 1am. I finished jarring up my stuff around 11 and went off to bed. Talked to TGF for a little while. She found out she is free Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. YES! I get to experience waking up with someone and opening presents. That too is fueling my excitement.
66 hours to go baby...
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Y3 D210
Yesterday started off very normal and ended very weird. A little surreal in fact, but also showed me how strong things are between me and TGF. Frankly I guess in the grand scheme of things what happened last night could almost be considered normal. Just something I haven't deal with or at least something I haven't had to deal with in a very long time. Let's work through the day...
Went into the office around 7 and things started off pretty benign except for setting off the alarm on the data center at a multi-billion dollar financial company. Yeah, my badge was supposed to be reset from the east coast office to the local offices and everything looked good when I went through the security checkpoint in the lobby, but since the floor I was working on had the data center computers, it required special access which hadn't been enabled yet. So at 7 in the morning I am setting off alarms and explaining to security I was supposed to be where I was. That was more annoyance and embarrassment than anything else. Once I was settled in though, the day at work was uneventful. While I was at work the kid texted me to let me know my VPN token arrived. Sweet! Now I can work from home (like I am right now).
Left around 3 and headed home. On the way home I called TGF to see what she was doing and she told me she was going to a friend's birthday party. Okay, I am going to relax and bake stuff for people for Christmas I told her. I said to have fun and call me when she got home. I stopped at the store on the way home and grabbed a couple of things to make marshmallows and bark. Spent about $8 on stuff. I had everything else in the house for the remaining things I am making as Christmas gifts - apple butter, cashew butter, peppermint cremes, bark, and marshmallows.
The kid called me around 4:30 and asked if I could pick her up at the mall. Her work schedule got changed from 2-6 to 8-12. No problem. Grabbed her and then my other friend called. She was getting a new tattoo and wanted to hang out afterwards. Since TGF would be tied up with the birthday party I said sure, call me when you are done. She came over around 6 and me, her, and the kid headed over to the mall. We bummed around for a while and ran into three of our other friends. The five of us left when the kid had to work. I did manage to pick up a new printer. It was $50 on sale and is nothing fancy, but will do what I want. I explained my logic to everyone when I was looking at printers and they all agreed that wasting the good ink on my big printer was silly when we just needed something to print out documents most of the time. The one I got is a scanner, copier, and printer too just in case. It's nothing exciting and literally it was $50 and thank goodness for Best Buy credit cards. It's a BB/Disney Christmas kids. Anyway, got home around 9 and TGF called. She was still at the party and VERY drunk. She was just letting me know she wasn't going to drive and was going to stay at her friend's house. Okay. No worries. My friends and I played some video games and hung out because I wanted to stay up until the kid got home. I made my bark, the marshmallows, and the cashew butter.
About an hour later she calls me back. The room is spinning. Her friend dropped her off then went back to the party leaving her alone. When I see this person I am going to have a talk with him about this. After realizing she was alone I kept her on the phone while my friend drove me to where she was. TGF was crying and embarrassed about being sick. Oh darlin' not only have I been there, but more times than you will ever know. Do not be sad or feel stupid. Trust the old pro. Got her home around 11:50 and dealt with trying to sober her up enough so the room stopped spinning and she could sleep. MEANWHILE I get a text from the kid. She is on her way home and has been throwing up. Great. I have a girlfriend throwing up from booze and a kid throwing up from mild food poisoning. She ate some leftovers which should have been tossed yesterday instead of being consumed. I got one puking in the bathroom and one going in the kitchen sink. Honestly though? I felt very useful and needed. I made sure everyone was taken care of and situated then stayed awake with TGF until she could sleep. She kept apologizing and telling me she loved me and how happy she was I was there to take care of her. Made me feel very good even if it was under those circumstances.
They are both still asleep and shall stay that way until everything passes. What an odd day...
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Y3 D209
I do not believe I am a fan of timeline on facebook. It's just too much information. I spent an hour yesterday deleting everything because no one needs to know that I joined 12/18 2006. Holy crap. I have been on there for 5 years?? Geez. Talking about infiltrating people's lives.
Anyway, yeah that was the most exciting thing about yesterday. Left for the office around 6:20 which wasn't bad. Got in about 7:10. Unfortunately my badge didn't work because they have to change the building info. That kind of sucked. I had to bug one guy to let me in and probably going to have to bug him again today. I did get notice that my vpn token is on its way which means I will be able to work from home the rest of the week. Yay! Got settled in and heads down went to work. I wasn't able to come and go as I pleased and I ended up not moving from my desk basically for 8 hours. No smoke, no nothing.
I got a text from TGF around 11. She forgot her smokes, her license, and something else at my place. She had dance last night, but since I was getting home at a decent time she came over before. That was really nice. I got home around 4:30 and she came about 4:45. She was able to spend like three hours with me before she had to go off to dance. We went to the store and picked up a lasagna for dinner, some cashews to make gifts (cashew butter) and apples (apple butter).
The kid had a bad moment last night. Turns out KBF is doing a family only snow day on new years and forgot to tell her about it. She is so new to all this relationship crap she didn't know if she should be upset or not. I told her she should tell him that he could have mentioned it instead of letting her think they would be spending new years together. She doesn't like confrontation but I can't fight her battles for her. She needs to realize he's just a boy and that there will be many more. Hell, just read my blog.
I did almost forget one thing - the kid needed to print a paper last night for one her classes and we were out of black ink. The three of us headed over to best buy and when I started looking at ink cartridges I realized my printer is 8 years old. They don't sell my ink any more at best buy. I started looking at actual printers instead. For about $200 I can get a pretty decent new one. I am thinking maybe for Christmas we get a new printer. Haven't decided yet though. Need to do some research on that today.
Went to bed around 10. TGF called at 10:30 but I was out cold. I barely managed to answer.
Off to work.
Anyway, yeah that was the most exciting thing about yesterday. Left for the office around 6:20 which wasn't bad. Got in about 7:10. Unfortunately my badge didn't work because they have to change the building info. That kind of sucked. I had to bug one guy to let me in and probably going to have to bug him again today. I did get notice that my vpn token is on its way which means I will be able to work from home the rest of the week. Yay! Got settled in and heads down went to work. I wasn't able to come and go as I pleased and I ended up not moving from my desk basically for 8 hours. No smoke, no nothing.
I got a text from TGF around 11. She forgot her smokes, her license, and something else at my place. She had dance last night, but since I was getting home at a decent time she came over before. That was really nice. I got home around 4:30 and she came about 4:45. She was able to spend like three hours with me before she had to go off to dance. We went to the store and picked up a lasagna for dinner, some cashews to make gifts (cashew butter) and apples (apple butter).
The kid had a bad moment last night. Turns out KBF is doing a family only snow day on new years and forgot to tell her about it. She is so new to all this relationship crap she didn't know if she should be upset or not. I told her she should tell him that he could have mentioned it instead of letting her think they would be spending new years together. She doesn't like confrontation but I can't fight her battles for her. She needs to realize he's just a boy and that there will be many more. Hell, just read my blog.
I did almost forget one thing - the kid needed to print a paper last night for one her classes and we were out of black ink. The three of us headed over to best buy and when I started looking at ink cartridges I realized my printer is 8 years old. They don't sell my ink any more at best buy. I started looking at actual printers instead. For about $200 I can get a pretty decent new one. I am thinking maybe for Christmas we get a new printer. Haven't decided yet though. Need to do some research on that today.
Went to bed around 10. TGF called at 10:30 but I was out cold. I barely managed to answer.
Off to work.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Y3 D208
Nice relaxing day yesterday. Got up around noon which isn't as crazy as it sounds given we didn't go to bed until 4:30. Worked for about 2 hours yesterday to help my co-worker try and wrap things up. Played some video games, relaxed, picked the kid up at work around six, grabbed Mexican food for dinner. Which btw was paid for by KBF. He slipped the kid $25 to help out pay for the gas and food I bought Saturday. I appreciate him doing that. Makes him a good kid in my book. Very responsible gesture on his part. And he paid for dinner.
Watched some Buffy and Angel and we were in bed by 9:30. Hour later after the laziest sex ever (we both agreed it was nice, slow, lazy sex because of how tired we were) we were asleep.
Today I am off to the new client from New York. Working in their local office this week until I get my remote access token which should hopefully be by Wednesday.
Off I go...
Watched some Buffy and Angel and we were in bed by 9:30. Hour later after the laziest sex ever (we both agreed it was nice, slow, lazy sex because of how tired we were) we were asleep.
Today I am off to the new client from New York. Working in their local office this week until I get my remote access token which should hopefully be by Wednesday.
Off I go...
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Y3 D207
This will be a two day post. And yes, for the first time in almost three years I missed a post on Saturday. Why? Because I was away from technology for over 26 hours straight. Goddamn it felt good. No computers, no tablets, and my phone was turned off for a good portion of that time except for emergencies. So you kind and gentle reader get the goodness of like 30 hours crammed into a single post. Ready? Let's do it...
Friday:
Was slightly hungover in the morning but needed to work and get ready for our trip. I was planning on sleeping from like 4 to 10 to make sure I wasn't cranky or had any problems driving down. Yeah that plan went out the window. I ended up working for the client from hell for the majority of the day. TGF took off around 11 since she hadn't been home and so she could get ready for the trip. I was supposed to be sleeping before she came back. Nope. I worked 7 hours on that damn client. I was getting cranky and pissed off as was my poor co-worker who also had spent the week working 14 hours days for these bastards. We started taking it out on each other until we slowed down and backed up. We apologized and started moving forward on things. In the end I didn't sleep. TGF came back around 6, the kid and KBF were there by 8. We played video games for a couple of hours and then decided fuck it, let's go.
Saturday:
We ended up leaving around 10:30 Friday night for Disneyland. We rolled into Anaheim around 5:30am. It was perfect. We all stayed awake on the way down with people taking the occasional naps. I drove the whole way and we sang and made noise to keep us all awake. Once we hit Anaheim we stopped at Denny's for breakfast because everyone needed to pee and wake up a bit. We got to the park around 7:30 and we were in the doors right at 8:01. We had the most incredible day. Everything decorated for Christmas. And then TGF surprised me with one of the most incredible things - I was given a budget of $150 and told to pick out my Christmas presents. YES! For most people they would think this is her way of getting out of buying me stuff, but for me it's perfect. I am really fucking picky about people giving me gifts especially at Christmas time. The budget amount was perfect and it gave me all day to find stuff. We hung out with the kid and KBF until about noon and then we went our separate ways until meeting up for dinner. WHAT A DAY! The park was lit up for Christmas, Haunted Mansion decorated, Small World all done up, the characters walking around with Santa hats, etc. We even noticed that Tigger was looking brighter than normal and that's when we realized that probably it's the costume they bring out this time of year only and they haven't been used and abused like the normal ones. Didn't matter - it was another perfect Disney day. I ended up getting 8 presents which will be wrapped up for Christmas. AND even better we ended up scoring 14 pins for our collection. We traded for 12 of them and purchased two. The two we bought were a special edition Christmas Nightmare and the first 2012 pin for the year. One nice thing that happened during the trip was TGF started talking about how we need to come back during the summer and spend three days down there. One, I like the fact that she is thinking about taking a trip in the summer and two, I will get to spend three days with her away from everyone. Something else she did on the drive down which made me happy was the random grabbing of my hand or arm. It's very important to me and made me feel loved and with someone who wants to be with me. THAT feels good.
Around 9:30 we were all tired and ready to go. I let everyone sleep the majority of the trip home even though I was so tired I started to hallucinate. I did pull over at one point and slept for 1/2 hour before continuing. We got the majority of the way home before I couldn't take any more. I made KBF drive us the last hour of the trip home. It was around 4am when we got home.
Today we need to sort things out, clean the house, etc. She is sitting on the couch right now relaxing and I am getting ready to do some work to help out my co-worker. Other than I plan on wrapping presents and watching crap on the DVR.
WHAT A PERFECT FUCKING TIME. Jesus, I love this girl and how good she is to me. I am happy.
Friday:
Was slightly hungover in the morning but needed to work and get ready for our trip. I was planning on sleeping from like 4 to 10 to make sure I wasn't cranky or had any problems driving down. Yeah that plan went out the window. I ended up working for the client from hell for the majority of the day. TGF took off around 11 since she hadn't been home and so she could get ready for the trip. I was supposed to be sleeping before she came back. Nope. I worked 7 hours on that damn client. I was getting cranky and pissed off as was my poor co-worker who also had spent the week working 14 hours days for these bastards. We started taking it out on each other until we slowed down and backed up. We apologized and started moving forward on things. In the end I didn't sleep. TGF came back around 6, the kid and KBF were there by 8. We played video games for a couple of hours and then decided fuck it, let's go.
Saturday:
We ended up leaving around 10:30 Friday night for Disneyland. We rolled into Anaheim around 5:30am. It was perfect. We all stayed awake on the way down with people taking the occasional naps. I drove the whole way and we sang and made noise to keep us all awake. Once we hit Anaheim we stopped at Denny's for breakfast because everyone needed to pee and wake up a bit. We got to the park around 7:30 and we were in the doors right at 8:01. We had the most incredible day. Everything decorated for Christmas. And then TGF surprised me with one of the most incredible things - I was given a budget of $150 and told to pick out my Christmas presents. YES! For most people they would think this is her way of getting out of buying me stuff, but for me it's perfect. I am really fucking picky about people giving me gifts especially at Christmas time. The budget amount was perfect and it gave me all day to find stuff. We hung out with the kid and KBF until about noon and then we went our separate ways until meeting up for dinner. WHAT A DAY! The park was lit up for Christmas, Haunted Mansion decorated, Small World all done up, the characters walking around with Santa hats, etc. We even noticed that Tigger was looking brighter than normal and that's when we realized that probably it's the costume they bring out this time of year only and they haven't been used and abused like the normal ones. Didn't matter - it was another perfect Disney day. I ended up getting 8 presents which will be wrapped up for Christmas. AND even better we ended up scoring 14 pins for our collection. We traded for 12 of them and purchased two. The two we bought were a special edition Christmas Nightmare and the first 2012 pin for the year. One nice thing that happened during the trip was TGF started talking about how we need to come back during the summer and spend three days down there. One, I like the fact that she is thinking about taking a trip in the summer and two, I will get to spend three days with her away from everyone. Something else she did on the drive down which made me happy was the random grabbing of my hand or arm. It's very important to me and made me feel loved and with someone who wants to be with me. THAT feels good.
Around 9:30 we were all tired and ready to go. I let everyone sleep the majority of the trip home even though I was so tired I started to hallucinate. I did pull over at one point and slept for 1/2 hour before continuing. We got the majority of the way home before I couldn't take any more. I made KBF drive us the last hour of the trip home. It was around 4am when we got home.
Today we need to sort things out, clean the house, etc. She is sitting on the couch right now relaxing and I am getting ready to do some work to help out my co-worker. Other than I plan on wrapping presents and watching crap on the DVR.
WHAT A PERFECT FUCKING TIME. Jesus, I love this girl and how good she is to me. I am happy.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Y3 D205
Good morning starshine. Fuck me.
What a long ass day yesterday. If I think only in terms of my local time, I was up at 11:30pm, drove to the airport at 1:30am, boarded the airplane at 3:45am, and got home at 10:45am. Man. Nice thing at the airport was I still was using my cane which got me around the three mile long security checkpoint. They let me go through the handicap line which sped things up quite a bit. That was nice. But the downside was I ended up spending more time just sitting at the gate. By the time I got on the plane I had been sitting for almost two hours. The flight home was long and uncomfortable. I couldn't get comfortable no matter what. Got home and was pissed off because the house was a mess. I need to explain to the kid that when I go on trips like this I do not want to come home to a messy house. At the same time I didn't really communicate this to her. When she got home from class I tried to explain this to her which caused her to have an emotional moment. She had one later too which we both think is a result of the birth control pills screwing with her. It's been 1 week since she started taking them and it's now getting into her system. Poor kid.
TGF came over around 3 and we got ready for the christmas party. We left the house around 5:20 and got there exactly at 6:30 when it started. TGF did great. She talked with everyone, was polite, and had a great time. I enjoyed myself but was also kind of loopy from the day being so long. We were there until about 11 and while it was fun, the food wasn't as good as I had expected. Given that it was a michelin rated restaurant, I expected more out of the food. We got home and had a wonderful wild night. It was obvious we had been apart for 4 days. Both of us passed out afterwards without a thought.
All in all a good long day, but very tired this morning. Working currently on the evil client while I type this. Leaving for Disneyland in 14 hours...
What a long ass day yesterday. If I think only in terms of my local time, I was up at 11:30pm, drove to the airport at 1:30am, boarded the airplane at 3:45am, and got home at 10:45am. Man. Nice thing at the airport was I still was using my cane which got me around the three mile long security checkpoint. They let me go through the handicap line which sped things up quite a bit. That was nice. But the downside was I ended up spending more time just sitting at the gate. By the time I got on the plane I had been sitting for almost two hours. The flight home was long and uncomfortable. I couldn't get comfortable no matter what. Got home and was pissed off because the house was a mess. I need to explain to the kid that when I go on trips like this I do not want to come home to a messy house. At the same time I didn't really communicate this to her. When she got home from class I tried to explain this to her which caused her to have an emotional moment. She had one later too which we both think is a result of the birth control pills screwing with her. It's been 1 week since she started taking them and it's now getting into her system. Poor kid.
TGF came over around 3 and we got ready for the christmas party. We left the house around 5:20 and got there exactly at 6:30 when it started. TGF did great. She talked with everyone, was polite, and had a great time. I enjoyed myself but was also kind of loopy from the day being so long. We were there until about 11 and while it was fun, the food wasn't as good as I had expected. Given that it was a michelin rated restaurant, I expected more out of the food. We got home and had a wonderful wild night. It was obvious we had been apart for 4 days. Both of us passed out afterwards without a thought.
All in all a good long day, but very tired this morning. Working currently on the evil client while I type this. Leaving for Disneyland in 14 hours...
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Y3 D204
Oh god I am awake. It's 3:20 EST. My car will be here in an hour to take me to the airport. In 11 hours I will be home. I had TGF call me at 2:30 EST to make sure I was awake and showered. It was so weird. She is just going to bed and I am getting up. Hopefully I will sleep on the plane. Worked all day yesterday, finally got things settled for security. Got back to the hotel around 4:30. Hit the grocery store for some crappy food, relaxed, read a book, and then tried to sleep. I managed to sleep for a couple of hours but then I tossed and turned for 2 more. Luckily I got in a good 3 hours before I had to get up this morning. There's nothing worse though than in between part. Where you doubt yourself, everything you are doing, your whole fucking life. The wee hours are the worst. In two though? Disneyland. Fuck yeah.
Just need to make it home. Once I am home I can sleep more, then go to my company Christmas dinner with TGF. I am looking forward to it. That's it. Short one today kids.
Just need to make it home. Once I am home I can sleep more, then go to my company Christmas dinner with TGF. I am looking forward to it. That's it. Short one today kids.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Y3 D203
I am running late this morning but I don't care. I slept like complete and utter shit last night again. I worked all day for one client and then the hell client came back to haunt me. I had a good day in the office, cold and a little boring, but a good day none the less. After work I came back to the hotel and worked for an hour with the old client. Oh and during the day I made our dinner reservations for Saturday at Disneyland. I can't believe in just a couple of days I will be back at the house of the mouse. Amazing how I lived so fucking close for so fucking long but didn't go. Whatever. Yeah, I am cranky this morning.
After working on the other client, I took a walk for some dinner. I found a Soul Food restaurant near me that looked intriguing. The executive chef was a winner on Food Network's Chopped. The prices didn't look bad so what the hell.
Worst. Mistake. Ever.
Service was horrible. Food was mediocre. Crowd was annoying. Totally put me in a shit mood. Especially when I got back to the hotel and worked for TWO MORE hours on the fucked client.
I barely had a chance to talk to TGF and by the time I was done working I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. Which wouldn't come. I tossed and turned.
I also had a runin via text with X1. What a cunt. She sends me a text:
"Oh so you can complain about being short on money but plan trips to Disneyland? I hope the kid is going this time"
I responded back with:
"1. I am an annual passholder so my entrance and parking are paid for. 2. Yes the kid is going with her boyfriend and paying their own ways. 3. We are not staying overnight so no hotel cost. Next time ask before you judge."
The conversation seriously deteriorated from there and left me in a lousy fucking mood. I think I am still reeling from that too.
Okay. Off to the office. Fly home in roughly 24 hours.
After working on the other client, I took a walk for some dinner. I found a Soul Food restaurant near me that looked intriguing. The executive chef was a winner on Food Network's Chopped. The prices didn't look bad so what the hell.
Worst. Mistake. Ever.
Service was horrible. Food was mediocre. Crowd was annoying. Totally put me in a shit mood. Especially when I got back to the hotel and worked for TWO MORE hours on the fucked client.
I barely had a chance to talk to TGF and by the time I was done working I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. Which wouldn't come. I tossed and turned.
I also had a runin via text with X1. What a cunt. She sends me a text:
"Oh so you can complain about being short on money but plan trips to Disneyland? I hope the kid is going this time"
I responded back with:
"1. I am an annual passholder so my entrance and parking are paid for. 2. Yes the kid is going with her boyfriend and paying their own ways. 3. We are not staying overnight so no hotel cost. Next time ask before you judge."
The conversation seriously deteriorated from there and left me in a lousy fucking mood. I think I am still reeling from that too.
Okay. Off to the office. Fly home in roughly 24 hours.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Y3 D202
I wish I could turn back the hands of time. Or at the very least I wish I knew I had another 40 or 50 years to go. I don't know if I have 10, 20, or even 30 years to go and it scares me. Not because of death but because I feel like I didn't do so many things. I feel I wasted decades being someone I wasn't. Doing things to make other people happy. Not doing things because I was scared of failing. Finally when I have abandoned all fear, finally when I have let go of making other people happy first, where do I find myself? Old, frail, brittle, and to far gone to try. I don't feel like I can risk any more. I feel like I am supposed to crawl inside the box they have ready for me. Put on the khakis and have the backyard parties. Talk about boring things with even more boring people. Take out my piercings, hide my tattoos, quit the cast, and just roll over and die. Find some woman who is just as boring and act content and happy because the time has come for me to do that. I can't rent the basement apartment in the city with two other friends. I can't have the car that barely runs and take it on a road trip cross country. I can't try a new job to see if it works out for me. I can't I can't I can't. Too many responsibilities. Too many people counting on me to do the right thing. Too many hours not my own...
Slept like shit last night and the night before. My clock is screwed up. Went into the office around 7 and sat for most of the day waiting for badges, logins, etc. It was odd being three hours ahead of everyone. When some of them were just waking up and starting their day, mine was over or close to it. Reviewed the client's infrastructure. Got a feel for what needs to be done. Sat and waited. Sat. Waited. Finally left around 4. Talked to TGF briefly a couple of times yesterday. The time difference honestly made it challenging. I decided to find some dinner. So here i am, minutes from Manhattan, Park Avenue, Broadway, Times Square, Penn Station even - and where do I end up?
Slept like shit last night and the night before. My clock is screwed up. Went into the office around 7 and sat for most of the day waiting for badges, logins, etc. It was odd being three hours ahead of everyone. When some of them were just waking up and starting their day, mine was over or close to it. Reviewed the client's infrastructure. Got a feel for what needs to be done. Sat and waited. Sat. Waited. Finally left around 4. Talked to TGF briefly a couple of times yesterday. The time difference honestly made it challenging. I decided to find some dinner. So here i am, minutes from Manhattan, Park Avenue, Broadway, Times Square, Penn Station even - and where do I end up?
White Castle.
In Jersey.
BAMF.
I walked there. It was about 2 miles each way. It hurt like hell but I think it was good for my leg. The equivalent of icing it (the weather) and heating it (the sweat from walking) at the same time. It actually felt pretty good when I sat back down at the hotel. The food was disgusting but it's one of those things like a Waffle House that I have to eat at if it's nearby. It's almost mandatory. No fuck that, it is mandatory. Loved it. Loved every disgusting bite of it.
Laid down on the couch in my room - did I mention I have a penthouse king suite with view of Manhattan? - and started reading. I ended up falling asleep. At 7. Fuck. I woke up at around 9:30 and texted TGF. She called back around 10:30. We talked for a while but she had to go. She was amped up on caffeine in order to write a paper. She texted me somewhere around 3 saying she finished it. But at the time, she was heads down. I went to bed and read. Couldn't fall asleep until 1, then I tossed and turned until giving up at 5:30. Going in around 8 today to see if things are done. FML.
I am sad.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Y3 D201
Made it to New York. Okay fine, technically I am in Jersey City, but New York is right there AND I didn't just hide in some car to get here. I landed at JFK and had an adventure on my way in. Left for the airport yesterday around 5am. Nothing like getting up at 4 when you just got home at 1 from a show.
Plane left on time at 7 and the next thing I know it's 3:45pm EST. Instead of just wussing out and spending 100+ on a cab or car service, I decided to see if I could take public transportation and get where I needed to go. Took me about 2 hours, but I did it and in the process got to see some of New York. First stop was the train from the airport to the Long Island Railroad station. That was nothing exciting. But once I hit LIRR, it felt like a movie. It really had this 'east coast' feel about it. I don't know how else to explain it. That took me from JFK to Penn Station. I got to be right in the heart of Broadway, Madison Square Garden, Fashion Ave, etc. On one hand it was kind of cool because this is something I have never seen before, on the other? I had just flown 6+ hours and basically, I am in the city. Meh. It's my city just noisier and with more people. I walked a few blocks from the LIRR to the PATH train station. The PATH takes you under the tunnel and on to the other side of Manhattan. Again, neat because I have never done these things, but overall, meh, it's a city, this is a train, it's crowded, my leg hurts, and there's nowhere to sit until Hoboken. So whatever.
Got to the hotel and then found the nearest grocery store. I now have plenty of Rockstar. The weird part is being three hours difference from everyone I know. THAT is the oddest part. I have a feeling I woke up this morning when some if not most of my friends, including TGF were just going to bed. I also warned TGF that if she tries to call me after dance that it will be 1:30am my time and I will be cranky.
Off to the client who for once works early. Usually I am sitting around waiting, but this guy gets in at 7 and leaves at 4. My kind of guy.
Plane left on time at 7 and the next thing I know it's 3:45pm EST. Instead of just wussing out and spending 100+ on a cab or car service, I decided to see if I could take public transportation and get where I needed to go. Took me about 2 hours, but I did it and in the process got to see some of New York. First stop was the train from the airport to the Long Island Railroad station. That was nothing exciting. But once I hit LIRR, it felt like a movie. It really had this 'east coast' feel about it. I don't know how else to explain it. That took me from JFK to Penn Station. I got to be right in the heart of Broadway, Madison Square Garden, Fashion Ave, etc. On one hand it was kind of cool because this is something I have never seen before, on the other? I had just flown 6+ hours and basically, I am in the city. Meh. It's my city just noisier and with more people. I walked a few blocks from the LIRR to the PATH train station. The PATH takes you under the tunnel and on to the other side of Manhattan. Again, neat because I have never done these things, but overall, meh, it's a city, this is a train, it's crowded, my leg hurts, and there's nowhere to sit until Hoboken. So whatever.
Got to the hotel and then found the nearest grocery store. I now have plenty of Rockstar. The weird part is being three hours difference from everyone I know. THAT is the oddest part. I have a feeling I woke up this morning when some if not most of my friends, including TGF were just going to bed. I also warned TGF that if she tries to call me after dance that it will be 1:30am my time and I will be cranky.
Off to the client who for once works early. Usually I am sitting around waiting, but this guy gets in at 7 and leaves at 4. My kind of guy.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Y3 D200
165 days to go in this year. Was realizing yesterday that I will start year 4 soon enough. Damn.
Got up around 9 and my head was killing. TGF didn't have dance because the instructor was sick so we moved slowly. Kid had to work but KBF slept in too.
We spent most of the morning just relaxing and playing video games. Around 1 she headed home and I took a nap. Rested my leg like I was supposed to finally. Kid and I went to the store around 5, made oreo cookies and cream bark for the show. Came out really well. Everyone loved it. I was told a couple of times it was the best thing I have made yet. One of my friends also surprised me with a gift for my trip - a hand knitted hat with a built in beard. I wore it all night at the show. It is so warm and cozy. Luckily the beard part is removable. I am bringing the hat with me to New York.
I decided when I land I am going to take public transportation instead of a cab. Let's see how that works out for me.
Good show barring my leg. No major issues or problems. Got home around 1 and decided to sleep. I have had about 3 hours. Enough to get me to the airport. Leaving in 40. New York, here I come...
Got up around 9 and my head was killing. TGF didn't have dance because the instructor was sick so we moved slowly. Kid had to work but KBF slept in too.
We spent most of the morning just relaxing and playing video games. Around 1 she headed home and I took a nap. Rested my leg like I was supposed to finally. Kid and I went to the store around 5, made oreo cookies and cream bark for the show. Came out really well. Everyone loved it. I was told a couple of times it was the best thing I have made yet. One of my friends also surprised me with a gift for my trip - a hand knitted hat with a built in beard. I wore it all night at the show. It is so warm and cozy. Luckily the beard part is removable. I am bringing the hat with me to New York.
I decided when I land I am going to take public transportation instead of a cab. Let's see how that works out for me.
Good show barring my leg. No major issues or problems. Got home around 1 and decided to sleep. I have had about 3 hours. Enough to get me to the airport. Leaving in 40. New York, here I come...
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Y3 199
What an awesome day yesterday. Totally paying for it this morning, but what the hell. Got up and took the kid to public trans, then I hit the DMV. I was first in line and while I was in line at 6:45, I was out of there at 8:13. Car registration is now done. That's one thing I don't have to worry about while I am gone. The registration was already expired and I didn't want her getting a ticket while I was gone. Now it's done and done. After that I went grocery shopping and made sure she had easy to cook food in the house while I am gone too. I do not want to hear 'oh I didn't know what to eat' when I get home. Bullshit. There are plenty of easy to make things in there now. No excuses. Picked her up at the station and then came home to do laundry. By 1, laundry was done, groceries done, house cleaned. Done. Nice.
TGF came over after class and we went to have hawaiin bbq for lunch. Then we picked up some props for tonight's show from a friend's house. By 3, we were totally done. From there it was video game relaxation time. Around 8 a bunch of friends started coming by. By 9 we had a full scale party going on. About 10 of us. We had fun playing video games, drinking, playing board games, and hanging out. We were in bed by midnight but nothing happened because this idiot got too drunk and passed out on TGF. She made it clear this morning that I was in the doghouse for that move. Yeah I deserve it.
But I had a great Friday. Today all I have to do is print my boarding passes, pack, and do a show. In the morning I am off to NY.
TGF came over after class and we went to have hawaiin bbq for lunch. Then we picked up some props for tonight's show from a friend's house. By 3, we were totally done. From there it was video game relaxation time. Around 8 a bunch of friends started coming by. By 9 we had a full scale party going on. About 10 of us. We had fun playing video games, drinking, playing board games, and hanging out. We were in bed by midnight but nothing happened because this idiot got too drunk and passed out on TGF. She made it clear this morning that I was in the doghouse for that move. Yeah I deserve it.
But I had a great Friday. Today all I have to do is print my boarding passes, pack, and do a show. In the morning I am off to NY.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Y3 D198
FREEEEEDOOOOM!!!
I have never felt more like Braveheart than I did at roughly 7pm last night. I rolled off that motherfuckin' project last night. What? Yeah bitches, this is how we roll! I put in almost 12 hours yesterday to get things as "wrapped up" as I could given the never ending changes. Even with me leaving and them knowing it, they were still trying to change things down to the last minute. I just went with the flow though and held tight. I did leave my co-workers with a great big flaming pile of shit, but sorry, that's the way these things happen sometimes. Do I feel bad? A little, but not enough to lose sleep over since I am off to NY/NJ in two days.
Came home around 7, grabbed the kid and had In 'n' Out for dinner. Hell yes. Just what I needed. Watched Always Sunny which was HILARIOUS this week. Talked to TGF and went to bed.
A good simple day. Not like today. Today is about to be insane...
I have never felt more like Braveheart than I did at roughly 7pm last night. I rolled off that motherfuckin' project last night. What? Yeah bitches, this is how we roll! I put in almost 12 hours yesterday to get things as "wrapped up" as I could given the never ending changes. Even with me leaving and them knowing it, they were still trying to change things down to the last minute. I just went with the flow though and held tight. I did leave my co-workers with a great big flaming pile of shit, but sorry, that's the way these things happen sometimes. Do I feel bad? A little, but not enough to lose sleep over since I am off to NY/NJ in two days.
Came home around 7, grabbed the kid and had In 'n' Out for dinner. Hell yes. Just what I needed. Watched Always Sunny which was HILARIOUS this week. Talked to TGF and went to bed.
A good simple day. Not like today. Today is about to be insane...
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Y3 D197
I have had it with this client. I want out. Now. Today. Not tomorrow, not next week today. Right now I have had it with a lot of things and people. I am tenser than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Went to work yesterday like normal. Left TGF sleeping in bed. She is so goddamn beautiful when she sleeps. Got in, did normal shit, dealt with the dick head database guy as usual. Tried in vain all day to reach my boss to tell him that I really need to not be here on Friday. He needs to understand that I am not ready for new york and this is driving me nuts. I need to get shit done at home.
Left work around 5:30 and went and killed some time. I was meeting a friend at 8:00 to pick up some Disney pins he ordered. He ordered a bulk of 500 and we decided to split them. This way we have traders for when we go down next. Went over to Best Buy and they were having a 3 for 2 special - buy two video games get a third free. Fuck it. This is what Christmas is about this year Charlie Brown. I ended up getting all three games for the Kinect. Two sports related and one dance. It's a Best Buy Christmas bitches.
Had some dinner then headed over to my friend's place. He lives near the client which on one hand is good, on the other it meant no matter what I would have an hour drive home at some point. We went through all the pins and I ended up with 95 new ones and 155 I can now trade away. This is perfect. I am good for a while if I need to trade. I may just trade some random ones. This will also give me something to work on in the hotel next week to stop me from going out at night. I will sit in the hotel and categorize all my pins. I plan to take some pictures so I know which ones I have, which ones I want, etc. Yeah I am a fucking loser. So?
While I was out the kid texted me. She was having a really bad headache and was worried. She can be so paranoid sometimes it drives me nuts. She is freaking out because she started her birth control pills and keeps thinking that they are going to mess her up. I keep explaining that it takes a while for those things to even get into the system. But I was nice to her and made her take ibuprofen.
Got home around 10:30 and crashed around 11. I slept like shit because of my leg which is partly why I am cranky this morning.
Went to work yesterday like normal. Left TGF sleeping in bed. She is so goddamn beautiful when she sleeps. Got in, did normal shit, dealt with the dick head database guy as usual. Tried in vain all day to reach my boss to tell him that I really need to not be here on Friday. He needs to understand that I am not ready for new york and this is driving me nuts. I need to get shit done at home.
Left work around 5:30 and went and killed some time. I was meeting a friend at 8:00 to pick up some Disney pins he ordered. He ordered a bulk of 500 and we decided to split them. This way we have traders for when we go down next. Went over to Best Buy and they were having a 3 for 2 special - buy two video games get a third free. Fuck it. This is what Christmas is about this year Charlie Brown. I ended up getting all three games for the Kinect. Two sports related and one dance. It's a Best Buy Christmas bitches.
Had some dinner then headed over to my friend's place. He lives near the client which on one hand is good, on the other it meant no matter what I would have an hour drive home at some point. We went through all the pins and I ended up with 95 new ones and 155 I can now trade away. This is perfect. I am good for a while if I need to trade. I may just trade some random ones. This will also give me something to work on in the hotel next week to stop me from going out at night. I will sit in the hotel and categorize all my pins. I plan to take some pictures so I know which ones I have, which ones I want, etc. Yeah I am a fucking loser. So?
While I was out the kid texted me. She was having a really bad headache and was worried. She can be so paranoid sometimes it drives me nuts. She is freaking out because she started her birth control pills and keeps thinking that they are going to mess her up. I keep explaining that it takes a while for those things to even get into the system. But I was nice to her and made her take ibuprofen.
Got home around 10:30 and crashed around 11. I slept like shit because of my leg which is partly why I am cranky this morning.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Y3 D196
Yesterday was a bitch. I was in pain most of the day. I was cranky as hell all morning, didn't have the attention span to get any work done, the client was just pissing me off to no end, and, well, that's about it. You know, I am very introspective right now - yeah that was a major topic shift. Shift happens, work with it people...
Back to yesterday - worked, left around 4, picked up kid at public trans, came home, girlfriend came over, friend came over to drop off some stuff for me, played a little Xbox, watched an Angel episode, had sex. There. That's yesterday.
Why am I introspective? Age. Life. Last night the kid got a phone call from her boyfriend. He was asking what she is doing May 11 2012. Um... that's six months from now, nothing? He said good because he bought concert tickets but it will be a surprise.
I know exactly what he bought - Roger Waters doing The Wall. I have known about the show for a while. I didn't say anything to her but I texted him saying well done. He told me where there seats were and I had to laugh. I was still impressed that he bought the tickets, but let's just say they will need tissues to prevent nosebleeds. They *might* see the stage from where they are going to be. I am sure somewhere there will be a stage. The tickets I want? Section 4, row 1 - $2037 each. Yeah.
Which of course got me thinking. I have seen Pink Floyd. I have seen The Eagles, AC/DC, Scorpions, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Marilyn Manson, Slayer, Pantera, Smashing Pumpkins, NIN, Prince, Dio, Black Sabbath, BOC, Van Halen, Kiss, Guns 'n' Roses, Pearl Jam, Bauhaus, Peaches, Killers, Strokes, Rob Zombie, the Donnas, Frank Sinatra even, and so many more so many times in so many different line ups it's amusing. Made me feel old when I started thinking about it. Then I looked at the kid. Then I looked at TGF. That didn't help. Then I looked at my leg and the cane sitting next to my chair. REALLY didn't help. Then I went into the bathroom and looked at my hair. Shoot me.
Then I paused - and I realized I have lived. You know for what it's worth, I have fucking lived. I have done more than most people will ever conceive. I have tasted forbidden fruits, common day things, fine things, crappy things, and a plethora of things in between. I have lived. I am reminded of Auntie Mame. Live! Live! Live! Life is a buffet and most people are starving. It is so true. Yeah, I may be fucking old, but I am not dead. I have so much more to see and do that it amazes me. I think about tomorrow and smile at what I will accomplish, even if that is nothing. Heck in a few days I am off to New York at Christmas time. On the 17th I am going to Disneyland for my five month anniversary. At Christmas time. I started counting states I have visited - 23. Twenty three. Nine foreign countries. I know people who have never left their own state let own country. I could die tomorrow and feel good, but still feel like there was more to do.
What's next? Where do we go now?
I want to show TGF the world but I don't want to hold her back. I don't want to warp her. I have an angel on my back already to remind me never to destroy something beautiful again. How do you destroy an angel? Give them to me for a week...
Some nights I feel I should let her go. But then again, she is always free to leave. When she feels she needs to reach out and experience life on her own terms, I will not stop her. I will pack her a fucking lunch. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy nights like last night. Two hours of pleasure and bliss in bed preceded by 4 hours of laughter and happiness.
You can't take that away from me.
What's next world? What kind of adventure/trouble/fun will you throw at me next?
Back to yesterday - worked, left around 4, picked up kid at public trans, came home, girlfriend came over, friend came over to drop off some stuff for me, played a little Xbox, watched an Angel episode, had sex. There. That's yesterday.
Why am I introspective? Age. Life. Last night the kid got a phone call from her boyfriend. He was asking what she is doing May 11 2012. Um... that's six months from now, nothing? He said good because he bought concert tickets but it will be a surprise.
I know exactly what he bought - Roger Waters doing The Wall. I have known about the show for a while. I didn't say anything to her but I texted him saying well done. He told me where there seats were and I had to laugh. I was still impressed that he bought the tickets, but let's just say they will need tissues to prevent nosebleeds. They *might* see the stage from where they are going to be. I am sure somewhere there will be a stage. The tickets I want? Section 4, row 1 - $2037 each. Yeah.
Which of course got me thinking. I have seen Pink Floyd. I have seen The Eagles, AC/DC, Scorpions, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Marilyn Manson, Slayer, Pantera, Smashing Pumpkins, NIN, Prince, Dio, Black Sabbath, BOC, Van Halen, Kiss, Guns 'n' Roses, Pearl Jam, Bauhaus, Peaches, Killers, Strokes, Rob Zombie, the Donnas, Frank Sinatra even, and so many more so many times in so many different line ups it's amusing. Made me feel old when I started thinking about it. Then I looked at the kid. Then I looked at TGF. That didn't help. Then I looked at my leg and the cane sitting next to my chair. REALLY didn't help. Then I went into the bathroom and looked at my hair. Shoot me.
Then I paused - and I realized I have lived. You know for what it's worth, I have fucking lived. I have done more than most people will ever conceive. I have tasted forbidden fruits, common day things, fine things, crappy things, and a plethora of things in between. I have lived. I am reminded of Auntie Mame. Live! Live! Live! Life is a buffet and most people are starving. It is so true. Yeah, I may be fucking old, but I am not dead. I have so much more to see and do that it amazes me. I think about tomorrow and smile at what I will accomplish, even if that is nothing. Heck in a few days I am off to New York at Christmas time. On the 17th I am going to Disneyland for my five month anniversary. At Christmas time. I started counting states I have visited - 23. Twenty three. Nine foreign countries. I know people who have never left their own state let own country. I could die tomorrow and feel good, but still feel like there was more to do.
What's next? Where do we go now?
I want to show TGF the world but I don't want to hold her back. I don't want to warp her. I have an angel on my back already to remind me never to destroy something beautiful again. How do you destroy an angel? Give them to me for a week...
Some nights I feel I should let her go. But then again, she is always free to leave. When she feels she needs to reach out and experience life on her own terms, I will not stop her. I will pack her a fucking lunch. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy nights like last night. Two hours of pleasure and bliss in bed preceded by 4 hours of laughter and happiness.
You can't take that away from me.
What's next world? What kind of adventure/trouble/fun will you throw at me next?
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Y3 D195
Fuck sympathy, I am in serious pain. It was so bad when I got here yesterday that I called the doctor. Once I described to the person on the phone what was going on they made me an appointment at what is called 'minor injury' which is the equivalent of urgent care. It turns out I have a torn tibialis anterior muscle right where the muscle and tendon meet. Nice. I am SUPPOSED to be elevating my foot, on pain killers, but no, I am here in the office. FML. Serious FML.
Other than trying to get through the morning without killing the douchebag of a client, then the doctor, I didn't do much yesterday. After the doctor, I went home. Sat on my ass with my leg elevated and played video games. Doctor's orders. He even offered me a note and crutches, but I opted for my cane and a brace instead. Fuck this, going to martyr and power through. Worst part will be the show on saturday and travel on Sunday. I need to be as healthy as possible for both. Good luck with that.
Ordered a pizza because I didn't want to cook. TGF called me and we talked for a little while. I warned her that if she called me after dance I would probably not be awake. I wasn't. I went to bed around 9:30, took a pain killer to knock me out and it did the job. I woke up late. I am NOT in a good mood this morning.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Y3 D194
Can you believe we are down to a little over three weeks and this entire YEAR is over? Another one put to rest. Another year I didn't die. Another year I managed to stay out of jail. Small victories.
Spent 98% of the day inside yesterday. The only time I left was a quick run to the grocery store to get some food for dinner. Otherwise I stayed in yesterday and did absolutely nothing. I slept in until 10:30 which in of itself is a major victory. TGF had dance from 10-8 yesterday. They did three performances of 8 dances each. She called me a couple of times when they had breaks but we didn't spend any real time talking until last night around 9:30.
Not much to report honestly. Played video games, relaxed, soaked my sore muscles. Made chicken, mac & cheese, and salad for dinner. Watched a Buffy and an Angel. That's about it. No evil messages, no long ass phone calls, no drama. A good way to end my weekend.
My leg is hurting though this morning. Two weeks ago I hurt it at the show and it's still bugging me. Bruises are par for the course in theater but there's no bruise. I think I pulled a muscle. Today I am using the cane to try and take some of the pressure off that leg. Plus I can get sympathy points from the client hopefully. Oh my god, this is my last week on this project. Just need to survive.
Spent 98% of the day inside yesterday. The only time I left was a quick run to the grocery store to get some food for dinner. Otherwise I stayed in yesterday and did absolutely nothing. I slept in until 10:30 which in of itself is a major victory. TGF had dance from 10-8 yesterday. They did three performances of 8 dances each. She called me a couple of times when they had breaks but we didn't spend any real time talking until last night around 9:30.
Not much to report honestly. Played video games, relaxed, soaked my sore muscles. Made chicken, mac & cheese, and salad for dinner. Watched a Buffy and an Angel. That's about it. No evil messages, no long ass phone calls, no drama. A good way to end my weekend.
My leg is hurting though this morning. Two weeks ago I hurt it at the show and it's still bugging me. Bruises are par for the course in theater but there's no bruise. I think I pulled a muscle. Today I am using the cane to try and take some of the pressure off that leg. Plus I can get sympathy points from the client hopefully. Oh my god, this is my last week on this project. Just need to survive.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Y3 D193
I slept in!! I woke up at 10:15 today which is amazing for me. It was also nice waking up stone cold sober, no headache, no mess in my house, no persons laying all over the floor. Very nice relaxing way to start a Sunday. Per-fect.
Had a fun day yesterday. Woke up around 9:30 and TGF left around 10 to dance. She ended up being at dance from 10:30 until 7 yesterday. She had an incredibly long day.
Around 11 me and the kid headed out to this record store which is moving and having a great sale on movies, music, t-shirts, etc. On the way KBF called and said he was done with his stuff and asked if the kid wanted to meet him. She told him he should come with us. We grabbed him on the way and the three of us headed to the record store. Yes, I can use the word "record" too because they sell a ton of vinyl and are known for this. I picked up a record for TGF for Xmas, 4 CDs for me and the kid, and the kid got three books from an author whose work is mostly out of print.
Afterwards we had some ice cream and headed back home. I went over around 4 to my friend's new condo he just bought. He is really excited because he is around my age and this is his first place. It's a really nice place right on the water. I will not deny there is some jealousy going on because it's his place. The one and only thing I miss about having a house is knowing it's MY place. Some day I will have that feeling again. I do not envy his HOA dues in any way. They are more than my car payment and my car payment is pretty insane. But it's a great place and he has that excitement of fixing up a new place just the way he wants it.
Headed back home and the kid and KBF were making pasta for dinner. I was a little upset because I had planned on cooking, but I got over it real quick. TGF came over after dance and the four of us hung out until it was time to go to the show. Since TGF has a whole day of dance again today, she took her own car so she could go straight home after and I took the motorcycle. The other two went in KBF's car. We all got to the show and I didn't feel like dealing with any drama so TGF and I decided not to head over to where we all normally meet. Instead we hung out near the theater. Luckily we created our own little group with some other people who were there.
All in all the show went fine. No major issues. I ended up actually being able to supervise because there were enough people checked in. I noticed some issues, but nothing that needs yelling or any kind of drama today. I am just going to make some comments to folks at the next show. Let everyone enjoy their day.
Got home around 2:45 and went to bed shortly thereafter. The sun is out, the winds have died down, and I am going to enjoy my day.
Had a fun day yesterday. Woke up around 9:30 and TGF left around 10 to dance. She ended up being at dance from 10:30 until 7 yesterday. She had an incredibly long day.
Around 11 me and the kid headed out to this record store which is moving and having a great sale on movies, music, t-shirts, etc. On the way KBF called and said he was done with his stuff and asked if the kid wanted to meet him. She told him he should come with us. We grabbed him on the way and the three of us headed to the record store. Yes, I can use the word "record" too because they sell a ton of vinyl and are known for this. I picked up a record for TGF for Xmas, 4 CDs for me and the kid, and the kid got three books from an author whose work is mostly out of print.
Afterwards we had some ice cream and headed back home. I went over around 4 to my friend's new condo he just bought. He is really excited because he is around my age and this is his first place. It's a really nice place right on the water. I will not deny there is some jealousy going on because it's his place. The one and only thing I miss about having a house is knowing it's MY place. Some day I will have that feeling again. I do not envy his HOA dues in any way. They are more than my car payment and my car payment is pretty insane. But it's a great place and he has that excitement of fixing up a new place just the way he wants it.
Headed back home and the kid and KBF were making pasta for dinner. I was a little upset because I had planned on cooking, but I got over it real quick. TGF came over after dance and the four of us hung out until it was time to go to the show. Since TGF has a whole day of dance again today, she took her own car so she could go straight home after and I took the motorcycle. The other two went in KBF's car. We all got to the show and I didn't feel like dealing with any drama so TGF and I decided not to head over to where we all normally meet. Instead we hung out near the theater. Luckily we created our own little group with some other people who were there.
All in all the show went fine. No major issues. I ended up actually being able to supervise because there were enough people checked in. I noticed some issues, but nothing that needs yelling or any kind of drama today. I am just going to make some comments to folks at the next show. Let everyone enjoy their day.
Got home around 2:45 and went to bed shortly thereafter. The sun is out, the winds have died down, and I am going to enjoy my day.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Y3 D192
Yesterday turned into a really good day. It was a very LONG day, but a good day over all. I am having more of those lately, aren't I?
Had to get up really early because I had to take public transportation the entire day. I left my house at around 4:30 and took the first train at 4:58. Then I transferred to train number two which took an hour to get to the client. It wasn't horrible in that I got to relax and sit and read for once. I actually managed to get about 30% through a book yesterday which was great. Got into the client around 6:45 and dealt with their usual daily bullshit. My give a fuck meter is currently broken so I couldn't even tell them how many fucks I don't give at this point.
Left there around 12 to head to the city to deal with getting fingerprinted for my next client. That too wasn't a bad ride. Took about 45 minutes and I got to relax. Got to the city and stopped at a place I miss since leaving my last job. The new client is like three blocks from the old company which made things very easy for me in terms of knowing where to go. Got inside and spent about 1/2 hour getting fingerprinted. They did all ten fingers both flat and rolling. I means serious security for this shit. It was kind of scary that they have that much of me on file now. Fuck it. The world will end anyway and it all won't matter right?
Got on the train one last time for the day. Made it home around 2:30 which was amazing. I then went to Best Buy. Oh yeah baby, I got a Kinect. And now the story of the Kinect...
Every day this week pretty much I have tried going online and ordering a Kinect. Each time it would let me select a store and process the order. Then about two hours later I would get an email saying sorry it's not *really* in stock. Oops. Please cancel the order. Also during all this the price went from the sale price of $99 back to the regular price of $149. Well yesterday when I logged in all the stores finally showed stock which indicated that they really did have it in stock. I got super excited and tried to place the order. It kept saying my Best Buy card couldn't be processed. WTF? I haven't spent anything really on it. Maybe a couple hundred dollars. I looked it up and I had $120 free. Again WTF? I called them and oh guess what you have almost $500 in pending charges. WHAT? Oooooh. I get it. Took me forty minutes on the phone getting it all cleaned up and all the pending cancels to go through. The guy on the phone was fantastic and really helpful. I asked him if he could do the sale price because of all the back and forth and he said no problem. This guy was great and I told him as such. He said I made his day. Well he made mine. I picked up the Kinect with the kid and when we got home there were packages waiting. YAY! Mostly it was some stuff I had ordered for me/the house from Amazon. But after looking at the tree, I said fuck it - we are opening the Kinect tonight. Around six, KBF and TGF both came over, then two of my other friends and we had a Kinect party. Oh my god it was a blast. So much more fun than the Wii ever was/is. We all played different games for hours bouncing and laughing and joking AND SOBER. We had some Mike's Hard to drink but we are talking like 2 or 3 each over 4 hours. That's the same as drinking soda all night. We just had a blast. In bed by one, happy, relaxed, in a goofy playful mood. We didn't even have sex. Just fell asleep in each other's arms.
What a great day. Need more of them.
Had to get up really early because I had to take public transportation the entire day. I left my house at around 4:30 and took the first train at 4:58. Then I transferred to train number two which took an hour to get to the client. It wasn't horrible in that I got to relax and sit and read for once. I actually managed to get about 30% through a book yesterday which was great. Got into the client around 6:45 and dealt with their usual daily bullshit. My give a fuck meter is currently broken so I couldn't even tell them how many fucks I don't give at this point.
Left there around 12 to head to the city to deal with getting fingerprinted for my next client. That too wasn't a bad ride. Took about 45 minutes and I got to relax. Got to the city and stopped at a place I miss since leaving my last job. The new client is like three blocks from the old company which made things very easy for me in terms of knowing where to go. Got inside and spent about 1/2 hour getting fingerprinted. They did all ten fingers both flat and rolling. I means serious security for this shit. It was kind of scary that they have that much of me on file now. Fuck it. The world will end anyway and it all won't matter right?
Got on the train one last time for the day. Made it home around 2:30 which was amazing. I then went to Best Buy. Oh yeah baby, I got a Kinect. And now the story of the Kinect...
Every day this week pretty much I have tried going online and ordering a Kinect. Each time it would let me select a store and process the order. Then about two hours later I would get an email saying sorry it's not *really* in stock. Oops. Please cancel the order. Also during all this the price went from the sale price of $99 back to the regular price of $149. Well yesterday when I logged in all the stores finally showed stock which indicated that they really did have it in stock. I got super excited and tried to place the order. It kept saying my Best Buy card couldn't be processed. WTF? I haven't spent anything really on it. Maybe a couple hundred dollars. I looked it up and I had $120 free. Again WTF? I called them and oh guess what you have almost $500 in pending charges. WHAT? Oooooh. I get it. Took me forty minutes on the phone getting it all cleaned up and all the pending cancels to go through. The guy on the phone was fantastic and really helpful. I asked him if he could do the sale price because of all the back and forth and he said no problem. This guy was great and I told him as such. He said I made his day. Well he made mine. I picked up the Kinect with the kid and when we got home there were packages waiting. YAY! Mostly it was some stuff I had ordered for me/the house from Amazon. But after looking at the tree, I said fuck it - we are opening the Kinect tonight. Around six, KBF and TGF both came over, then two of my other friends and we had a Kinect party. Oh my god it was a blast. So much more fun than the Wii ever was/is. We all played different games for hours bouncing and laughing and joking AND SOBER. We had some Mike's Hard to drink but we are talking like 2 or 3 each over 4 hours. That's the same as drinking soda all night. We just had a blast. In bed by one, happy, relaxed, in a goofy playful mood. We didn't even have sex. Just fell asleep in each other's arms.
What a great day. Need more of them.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Y3 D191
I don't know how long I have this morning since right now I am on public transportation. It's a long story which I will explain tomorrow, but for now I need to type kind of quick.
I don't know why I need to be so paranoid at times. Is it because of the things X1 and other women have done to me in the past? Maybe.
Went to work yesterday and did a semi-normal day of 10 hours. Nothing insane but longer than one should have to for a regular day. I was having issues during the day because I sent a text to TGF in the morning and didn't hear back from her until like 2pm. It's hard because we went from a massive amount of communication to very little literally overnight. We talked about it last night some, not enough to make me happy, but some.
During the day I spoke with a doctor nearby here to discuss my friend's alcohol issues. A couple of us are discussing bringing in professional help to assist with the problem and I was doing research. I don't want to say much more at this time since I don't know where things are going to lead. But the woman seems to be promising in what she can do for us which is good. We will see where it leads.
Left around 5 and needed to pick the kid up as she needed to hit the mall for her job. They were missing some paperwork in her file and until it was complete she wasn't able to work. This of course stressed her out but it was okay. It ended up being some stupid things that they had missed on the application forms like her initials in a couple of places. Once that was done we headed home.
TGF came over last night and was in what appeared to be a good mood. Honestly everything between us seems fine. Whatever has been bugging her the last few days truly I now believe has nothing to do with me. If I am being naive about this, then she is one hell of a good actress. We went out and had some nice alone time over sushi, talked about everything and nothing at the same time.
Got back home and watched Always Sunny which was hilarious. There have been some flat spots this season but last night was dead on. True to the show's roots. Really enjoyed the hell out of it. We then watched a Buffy/Angel and headed to bed.
Yes, we had sex. You know, I was speaking with a friend yesterday and we were discussing the concept of hope and fantasy. We hold on to little fantasies even though the rational & logical part of our brain tells us otherwise. We know better. We know the mailman didn't forget our million dollar check. We know the relationship isn't going to last forever. But for the sake of hope and sanity we hold on to these ideals as tightly as we can. And then you add sex into the mix. At that point any vestigial scrap of the rational brain is thrown out the window. Ugh sex good. Ugh body nice. Ugh! Yeah. She could have turned into a praying mantis last night afterwards and I would have been like "good bug. bug good. eat boy". Yay sex. I do think things are okay between us. I told her that I was having trouble because she has been turning internal the last few days and I need her to share. I think she has been so used to having to be independent or with guys who have no concept of responsibility that she just doesn't know how to respond. Hopefully that will change and she will feel safe enough to open to me even in times like this. Only time will tell. Fell asleep somewhere around midnight and back up at 3:45. That's tomorrow's story...
I don't know why I need to be so paranoid at times. Is it because of the things X1 and other women have done to me in the past? Maybe.
Went to work yesterday and did a semi-normal day of 10 hours. Nothing insane but longer than one should have to for a regular day. I was having issues during the day because I sent a text to TGF in the morning and didn't hear back from her until like 2pm. It's hard because we went from a massive amount of communication to very little literally overnight. We talked about it last night some, not enough to make me happy, but some.
During the day I spoke with a doctor nearby here to discuss my friend's alcohol issues. A couple of us are discussing bringing in professional help to assist with the problem and I was doing research. I don't want to say much more at this time since I don't know where things are going to lead. But the woman seems to be promising in what she can do for us which is good. We will see where it leads.
Left around 5 and needed to pick the kid up as she needed to hit the mall for her job. They were missing some paperwork in her file and until it was complete she wasn't able to work. This of course stressed her out but it was okay. It ended up being some stupid things that they had missed on the application forms like her initials in a couple of places. Once that was done we headed home.
TGF came over last night and was in what appeared to be a good mood. Honestly everything between us seems fine. Whatever has been bugging her the last few days truly I now believe has nothing to do with me. If I am being naive about this, then she is one hell of a good actress. We went out and had some nice alone time over sushi, talked about everything and nothing at the same time.
Got back home and watched Always Sunny which was hilarious. There have been some flat spots this season but last night was dead on. True to the show's roots. Really enjoyed the hell out of it. We then watched a Buffy/Angel and headed to bed.
Yes, we had sex. You know, I was speaking with a friend yesterday and we were discussing the concept of hope and fantasy. We hold on to little fantasies even though the rational & logical part of our brain tells us otherwise. We know better. We know the mailman didn't forget our million dollar check. We know the relationship isn't going to last forever. But for the sake of hope and sanity we hold on to these ideals as tightly as we can. And then you add sex into the mix. At that point any vestigial scrap of the rational brain is thrown out the window. Ugh sex good. Ugh body nice. Ugh! Yeah. She could have turned into a praying mantis last night afterwards and I would have been like "good bug. bug good. eat boy". Yay sex. I do think things are okay between us. I told her that I was having trouble because she has been turning internal the last few days and I need her to share. I think she has been so used to having to be independent or with guys who have no concept of responsibility that she just doesn't know how to respond. Hopefully that will change and she will feel safe enough to open to me even in times like this. Only time will tell. Fell asleep somewhere around midnight and back up at 3:45. That's tomorrow's story...
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Y3 D190
I have been listening to a lot of Everclear the last few days. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's better than when I go on a NIN bender that's for sure. It's still 'sad' music in some respects, but sad in a different sort of way. Not feel sorry for myself, angry, I want to kill everyone music. No more, yeah life sometimes sucks, women are a pain in the ass, and you will probably die alone but think about the beauty you created in your kid kind of music. If you don't know Everclear, I strongly recommend it. I know their last album was like 10 years ago, but it still holds solid now. I mean hell people still like Nirvana and Soundgarden and they were TWENTY plus years ago. Hey kid who thinks he is cool listening to Insecticide... that's oldies bitch....
But back to Everclear. The lead singer and main frontman Art and I could have been separated at birth which is why I like his music. Let's see -- father abandonment, teenage cocaine problems, cheating first wife, second wife problems, string of unhappy love affairs, beautiful teenage daughter, money issues, IRS issues, drinking problems, bouncing around never quite sure what to do with his life but holding on to a dream of being something to someone, playing shit gigs to put food on the table, making sure family always comes first even if you don't eat... Yeah. We both have tasted the 'good life' and struggle to get it back. Things were supposed to be different and perfect. The difference between him and me is he channeled into music while I struggle to channel it all into words on the page.
Some day I will live my dream as Bukowski - drinking, writing, not caring.
Yesterday was interesting. Worked all day as expected. Another 11 hours in the office. During that time I had a talk with my director. He was upset with me because he felt like I violated his trust for sharing some of the things he said at his anniversary party with my friend. I told him straight up that I had never seen him that angry and that I honestly feared for that person's safety AND that they needed to know how much anger he had towards them. He didn't remember any of the things he had said, nor did he remember breaking a glass against the wall. I told him I was sorry if he felt I broke his trust, but he needed to see it from my perspective. In the state he was in, I didn't trust him to make good choices. He was going to hurt someone or hurt himself. He also didn't realize we were in that bathroom for over a half an hour. Once I started putting the pieces together for him he calmed down and was able to understand my reasons. I don't think he is entirely happy with me, but he at least gets it now.
At the same time, TGF is finally starting to come out of her funk. I think I figured out what's bugging her. She has a major dance production this Sunday and she is nervous about it. She has been practicing twice as much as normal. Last night they went from 6:30 - 10:30. She has more dance rehearsal Friday and Saturday with the show on Sunday. But she seemed in a lighter mood last night. We talked on the phone for over an hour when she got home from dance. She is also doing really well in one of her classes which made her happy.
When I got home, the kid and I went for a ride to Best Buy to see if they had any Kinects in stock yet. Nope. We had Chipotle for dinner, then come back to watch a Buffy. While we were watching my boss called and I was able to arrange all my travel for the week of the 11th. I leave Sunday the 11th for JFK airport, staying in a nice suite with a view, then fly home Thursday the 15th in time to go to the holiday party. On the 16th I plan to spend the day at the DMV getting my car registered because it is a month over due already. Actually wait it's December, it's now TWO months overdue. Damn it. Oh well. I will handle it as soon as I can.
Today I am working and then hopefully seeing TGF tonight. Let's see how things go.
But back to Everclear. The lead singer and main frontman Art and I could have been separated at birth which is why I like his music. Let's see -- father abandonment, teenage cocaine problems, cheating first wife, second wife problems, string of unhappy love affairs, beautiful teenage daughter, money issues, IRS issues, drinking problems, bouncing around never quite sure what to do with his life but holding on to a dream of being something to someone, playing shit gigs to put food on the table, making sure family always comes first even if you don't eat... Yeah. We both have tasted the 'good life' and struggle to get it back. Things were supposed to be different and perfect. The difference between him and me is he channeled into music while I struggle to channel it all into words on the page.
Some day I will live my dream as Bukowski - drinking, writing, not caring.
Yesterday was interesting. Worked all day as expected. Another 11 hours in the office. During that time I had a talk with my director. He was upset with me because he felt like I violated his trust for sharing some of the things he said at his anniversary party with my friend. I told him straight up that I had never seen him that angry and that I honestly feared for that person's safety AND that they needed to know how much anger he had towards them. He didn't remember any of the things he had said, nor did he remember breaking a glass against the wall. I told him I was sorry if he felt I broke his trust, but he needed to see it from my perspective. In the state he was in, I didn't trust him to make good choices. He was going to hurt someone or hurt himself. He also didn't realize we were in that bathroom for over a half an hour. Once I started putting the pieces together for him he calmed down and was able to understand my reasons. I don't think he is entirely happy with me, but he at least gets it now.
At the same time, TGF is finally starting to come out of her funk. I think I figured out what's bugging her. She has a major dance production this Sunday and she is nervous about it. She has been practicing twice as much as normal. Last night they went from 6:30 - 10:30. She has more dance rehearsal Friday and Saturday with the show on Sunday. But she seemed in a lighter mood last night. We talked on the phone for over an hour when she got home from dance. She is also doing really well in one of her classes which made her happy.
When I got home, the kid and I went for a ride to Best Buy to see if they had any Kinects in stock yet. Nope. We had Chipotle for dinner, then come back to watch a Buffy. While we were watching my boss called and I was able to arrange all my travel for the week of the 11th. I leave Sunday the 11th for JFK airport, staying in a nice suite with a view, then fly home Thursday the 15th in time to go to the holiday party. On the 16th I plan to spend the day at the DMV getting my car registered because it is a month over due already. Actually wait it's December, it's now TWO months overdue. Damn it. Oh well. I will handle it as soon as I can.
Today I am working and then hopefully seeing TGF tonight. Let's see how things go.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Y3 D189
I still don't know what is wrong with TGF. Neither does she and that's the problem. She is just in an anti-social mood according to her. Sometimes I am just a pure "guy". I want to FIX things. If there is a problem, identify it, figure out how to fix it, fix it. Move on. Done. Yet at the same time I know I am one to talk when it comes to just being in a shitty leave me alone kind of mood. I have definitely been down the spiral one too many times myself to be critical of her.
Day started out okay. Went to work, got some direction on what I am doing here. Also I got the final word that on the 11th I am off to NY. Technically I will be in NJ but it's right on the other side of the Holland Tunnel which is a quick train ride into Manhattan. I will probably go to Manhattan one night just to say I went. Nothing more, nothing less. Plus I am at a point in my life where I like riding trains. Might be fun one night to just get on a train and go. Unless of course it is 4 degrees outside which it may be. If so, then I am staying right in my cozy hotel room thank you very much. I need to talk to my bosses today to use one of the company cards and finalize arrangements.
During the day I texted with TGF. She wasn't in the mood to drive to my place yesterday so I offered to come to her. At first she said that would be okay but then like two hours later she back pedaled and said she just wanted to be alone. That's when I got all pissy.
I drove home, picked up my contacts, and grabbed a friend for dinner. I will be damned if I am going to sit in the house doing nothing because she isn't in the mood for company.
Sigh.
I love this girl and it is driving me nuts that I can't fix what is wrong with her. She has dance tonight and I won't see her again which is eating at me. At the same time, some time apart is not the worse thing for us either.
Fuck. Back and forth goes the wheel in my head...
Talked to her before going to bed. Slept like crap. Another day another step towards oblivion.
Day started out okay. Went to work, got some direction on what I am doing here. Also I got the final word that on the 11th I am off to NY. Technically I will be in NJ but it's right on the other side of the Holland Tunnel which is a quick train ride into Manhattan. I will probably go to Manhattan one night just to say I went. Nothing more, nothing less. Plus I am at a point in my life where I like riding trains. Might be fun one night to just get on a train and go. Unless of course it is 4 degrees outside which it may be. If so, then I am staying right in my cozy hotel room thank you very much. I need to talk to my bosses today to use one of the company cards and finalize arrangements.
During the day I texted with TGF. She wasn't in the mood to drive to my place yesterday so I offered to come to her. At first she said that would be okay but then like two hours later she back pedaled and said she just wanted to be alone. That's when I got all pissy.
I drove home, picked up my contacts, and grabbed a friend for dinner. I will be damned if I am going to sit in the house doing nothing because she isn't in the mood for company.
Sigh.
I love this girl and it is driving me nuts that I can't fix what is wrong with her. She has dance tonight and I won't see her again which is eating at me. At the same time, some time apart is not the worse thing for us either.
Fuck. Back and forth goes the wheel in my head...
Talked to her before going to bed. Slept like crap. Another day another step towards oblivion.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Y3 D188
Sometimes it's a struggle between my need for human intimacy and contact versus wanting to be alone and not having to worry about anyone else's needs or feelings. I don't know if this makes me a sociopath, a psychopath, or what, but it's just something I deal with on a regular basis. Yesterday was a prime example of that. For most of the day I felt like it was so much better to be alone and not have to worry about whether things are okay, is this person okay, do I need to do anything, yadda yadda. There are times when I am more comfortable just worrying about myself. I couldn't shake this feeling all morning as thought it were a premonition of things to come. Turned out it was.
Got to work yesterday a little late as I had an eyebrow appointment in the morning. Turns out it didn't matter what time I showed up. This also may have been contributing at the time to my mood. First off, the stuff I worked on Thursday they hadn't even bothered to look at yet which pissed me off. Why did I even bother? You had FOUR days to look at it. It wasn't like I was asking you to look at it in one night. Assholes.
Then at 10am the server went down. I was effectively done for the day. I sat there until 3:30 doing nothing. Absolutely nothing yet I couldn't go home just in case it came back online. Double assholes.
While I was waiting for the server to come back up I went ahead and finished up the majority of my Christmas shopping on Amazon. I had a $125 credit on there and spent $96. Two small gifts for TGF, the rest for me. I also tried placing an order for a KINECT but even though it let me place the order with store pickup, a couple hours later I got an email saying oops we fucked up. That item isn't in stock. Sorry. Gosh, our issue and we won't do shipping on the item. Sorry again. I am just going to try every day until I actually get my item. Fuck it.
When I got home, I went to the dollar store with the kid to get wrapping paper. I refuse to spend real money on something whose only purpose is to be ripped up and thrown away. Kind of like me. Use me, abuse me, throw me away...
Sorry, I am in a funk that started yesterday and is slowly growing worse. One of the problems of being ruled by the water and the moon. Funny I see it in TGF too. And now we've reached that part of the day...
When I got back from the store I called her to see how her day was going. I could detect a bit of something there but the conversation was normal enough. We talked for a while until I needed to go make food and she needed to get ready for dance. From then until about 10, things were normal and frankly I was happy being alone (technically the kid was in the room but you know what I mean).
At 10 she called me. There was something in her voice. She seemed disconnected, out of it, not all there. She was still in the parking lot at the dance studio but wanted to talk. We talked for a few about nothing in particular and then she drove home. She called about 20 minutes later.
What followed was a half hour discussion about how she wants to hide, how she is feeling depressed, anxious, and all sorts of other fucked up feelings. Nothing towards me directly but I am part of the world from which she felt like hiding. There was nothing I could do to help her except listen. In the end I don't think it really helped. We talked for about a 1/2 hour and that was that. I am hoping today will improve her outlook and mood, but if she is anything like me (a cancer controlled by the water and the moon) I don't really expect to see much improvement unfortunately.
What really got me were the two texts I received some time after 11pm. Listen people, I work for a living unlike some of you and texting me stupid shit about 'the game' at late hours is unacceptable. I can't put my phone on silent, nor do I think I should have to do that. Just don't text me stupid crap in the middle of the night. Get a fucking life.
See? I am cranky today. Not good.
Got to work yesterday a little late as I had an eyebrow appointment in the morning. Turns out it didn't matter what time I showed up. This also may have been contributing at the time to my mood. First off, the stuff I worked on Thursday they hadn't even bothered to look at yet which pissed me off. Why did I even bother? You had FOUR days to look at it. It wasn't like I was asking you to look at it in one night. Assholes.
Then at 10am the server went down. I was effectively done for the day. I sat there until 3:30 doing nothing. Absolutely nothing yet I couldn't go home just in case it came back online. Double assholes.
While I was waiting for the server to come back up I went ahead and finished up the majority of my Christmas shopping on Amazon. I had a $125 credit on there and spent $96. Two small gifts for TGF, the rest for me. I also tried placing an order for a KINECT but even though it let me place the order with store pickup, a couple hours later I got an email saying oops we fucked up. That item isn't in stock. Sorry. Gosh, our issue and we won't do shipping on the item. Sorry again. I am just going to try every day until I actually get my item. Fuck it.
When I got home, I went to the dollar store with the kid to get wrapping paper. I refuse to spend real money on something whose only purpose is to be ripped up and thrown away. Kind of like me. Use me, abuse me, throw me away...
Sorry, I am in a funk that started yesterday and is slowly growing worse. One of the problems of being ruled by the water and the moon. Funny I see it in TGF too. And now we've reached that part of the day...
When I got back from the store I called her to see how her day was going. I could detect a bit of something there but the conversation was normal enough. We talked for a while until I needed to go make food and she needed to get ready for dance. From then until about 10, things were normal and frankly I was happy being alone (technically the kid was in the room but you know what I mean).
At 10 she called me. There was something in her voice. She seemed disconnected, out of it, not all there. She was still in the parking lot at the dance studio but wanted to talk. We talked for a few about nothing in particular and then she drove home. She called about 20 minutes later.
What followed was a half hour discussion about how she wants to hide, how she is feeling depressed, anxious, and all sorts of other fucked up feelings. Nothing towards me directly but I am part of the world from which she felt like hiding. There was nothing I could do to help her except listen. In the end I don't think it really helped. We talked for about a 1/2 hour and that was that. I am hoping today will improve her outlook and mood, but if she is anything like me (a cancer controlled by the water and the moon) I don't really expect to see much improvement unfortunately.
What really got me were the two texts I received some time after 11pm. Listen people, I work for a living unlike some of you and texting me stupid shit about 'the game' at late hours is unacceptable. I can't put my phone on silent, nor do I think I should have to do that. Just don't text me stupid crap in the middle of the night. Get a fucking life.
See? I am cranky today. Not good.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Y3 D187
Now that the issue is more or less resolved I can discuss our "fight". We left the show around 2:30 and she was pretty drunk. I didn't really realize at the time how drink she was as I expected her to keep herself in check. Yes, I expected. If she wants to be an adult, act like an adult. That goes for anyone. When we got home instead of stopping she kept drinking and realized she was drunk. That's when she found out what I did at the show. She blew up and over reacted. She was pissed off at me for giving her booze and not telling her. Well wait a minute. You can't tell you're getting MORE drunk? You can't tell when you taste it that it's mostly vodka?? Yes, I should have told you what was going on, but you should have been able to keep yourself in check. We fell asleep around 5:30 and back up at 9:30. The group of us sometime around 11 all went to taco bell for a mass post party feast. After that, my friend and I went Christmas shopping. I could tell all morning that TGF was still pissed, but I could also tell she wasn't pissed at me. I think in the light of day she realized she had as much responsibility and burden to bear for the actions of the previous night as I did. She left around 1 and went home to recuperate while I went shopping. My main goal was to find a Kinect which required going to three different Best Buy stores to be told all sold out at all of them. Supposedly the one by my house will get some in Tuesday. Fine.
While I was, I got a text from TGF apologizing for over reacting and that she wasn't mad at me but was mad at the situation. Perfect. There. Admittance on both sides. Done and done.
Here's what I managed to get yesterday:
Kid:
- mp3 player
- nirvana cd set
- smashing pumpkins dvd set
- fuzzy slippers
- fuzzy socks
- fuzzy pjs
- hello kitty headphones
TGF:
- mp3 players
- fuzzy slippers
- fuzzy socks
- fuzzy pjs
- panda hat
FOr TGF she is also getting a DVD she wants but I have to order it online. I think that's a pretty decent set of presents on both sides. Not too much, and not too extravagant either.
Came home, talked to TGF about things on the phone while wrapping presents. I made a turkey yesterday. 13 lb, 4 hours to cook. Came out really well actually. I now have 12 lbs of turkey left for the week. Gee, what a shock. Nice part is I won't need to buy food for a while. Soups, sandwiches, casseroles, etc. Good for a while.
Off to client hell. Here we go...
While I was, I got a text from TGF apologizing for over reacting and that she wasn't mad at me but was mad at the situation. Perfect. There. Admittance on both sides. Done and done.
Here's what I managed to get yesterday:
Kid:
- mp3 player
- nirvana cd set
- smashing pumpkins dvd set
- fuzzy slippers
- fuzzy socks
- fuzzy pjs
- hello kitty headphones
TGF:
- mp3 players
- fuzzy slippers
- fuzzy socks
- fuzzy pjs
- panda hat
FOr TGF she is also getting a DVD she wants but I have to order it online. I think that's a pretty decent set of presents on both sides. Not too much, and not too extravagant either.
Came home, talked to TGF about things on the phone while wrapping presents. I made a turkey yesterday. 13 lb, 4 hours to cook. Came out really well actually. I now have 12 lbs of turkey left for the week. Gee, what a shock. Nice part is I won't need to buy food for a while. Soups, sandwiches, casseroles, etc. Good for a while.
Off to client hell. Here we go...
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Y3 D186
Oh my. My head is doing a little dance right now...
Okay, let's see...
Spent the majority of the day in the house. It was quite enjoyable actually. I played quite a bit of Skyrim and really enjoyed not having to do anything or go anywhere. The kid had to go to with her grandfather to get her contacts and ended up feeling guilty so spent like 3 hours with them.
TGF came over around 4:30 and the three of us went to have indian food together. We found a new place walking distance from the house. The food was really good. I had a goat curry, TGF had chicken vindaloo, and the kid had chicken kabobs. Yep, the three of us went to dinner together. We have all been getting along quite well lately.
She went off to work around 7 and we headed off to the show around 9:30. Four of us all went together and my friend drove since the kid took my car to work. It was nice because I didn't have to drive which meant I got to drink guilt free. That was my first mistake.
I decided at the show that I was going to do something nice and smart which ended up getting TGF and I into our first fight. I decided to have two rockstar cans. One with mostly vodka, the other with mostly rockstar. I gave the mostly rockstar one to our directors without telling them and gave the one with mostly vodka to TGF. Without telling her. She didn't realize she was pounding mostly vodka and that she was getting seriously fucked up. The show went mostly smooth luckily.
We had an after party at my place. There are still like six people sitting in front of me right now while I type this. But TGF was way gone and tried to go to bed and decided it was all my fault she couldn't sleep because I gave her too much booze. There's more to the story but I am just not in the mood to go into right now. Someone is on the phone asking if Taco Bell will deliver. Wow. This is a morning.
Okay. Enough. I will write more tomorrow.
Okay, let's see...
Spent the majority of the day in the house. It was quite enjoyable actually. I played quite a bit of Skyrim and really enjoyed not having to do anything or go anywhere. The kid had to go to with her grandfather to get her contacts and ended up feeling guilty so spent like 3 hours with them.
TGF came over around 4:30 and the three of us went to have indian food together. We found a new place walking distance from the house. The food was really good. I had a goat curry, TGF had chicken vindaloo, and the kid had chicken kabobs. Yep, the three of us went to dinner together. We have all been getting along quite well lately.
She went off to work around 7 and we headed off to the show around 9:30. Four of us all went together and my friend drove since the kid took my car to work. It was nice because I didn't have to drive which meant I got to drink guilt free. That was my first mistake.
I decided at the show that I was going to do something nice and smart which ended up getting TGF and I into our first fight. I decided to have two rockstar cans. One with mostly vodka, the other with mostly rockstar. I gave the mostly rockstar one to our directors without telling them and gave the one with mostly vodka to TGF. Without telling her. She didn't realize she was pounding mostly vodka and that she was getting seriously fucked up. The show went mostly smooth luckily.
We had an after party at my place. There are still like six people sitting in front of me right now while I type this. But TGF was way gone and tried to go to bed and decided it was all my fault she couldn't sleep because I gave her too much booze. There's more to the story but I am just not in the mood to go into right now. Someone is on the phone asking if Taco Bell will deliver. Wow. This is a morning.
Okay. Enough. I will write more tomorrow.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Y3 D185
A great day yesterday. Woke up at 4:52am and realized that I didn't need to go anywhere. The best part though was we woke up embracing. Do you know how fucking hard it is to wake up actually holding someone else? We were intertwined like the octopus I tease the kid about being. Facing each other, arms around, legs wrapped. It was fucking cool. Then I fell back to sleep which was even better. I slept until 9:30. I got up and let her sleep for another hour or so. Once she was up we took a shower together, the first one we have been able to take together in months thanks to this stupid project I am on. After that CHRISTMAS ARRIVED! I took out the tree, some decorations, put up some random lights, and most important, found my santa hat. Oh yeah. Christmas is here bitches. Even better was while we were doing all this there was a knock on the door - UPS. Bringing one of the first presents. I had ordered an MP3 player off one of the survey sites and was originally going to give it to the kid but decided to get her a better one and will be giving this one to TGF. Not only is the tree up, but there is even one present under already - YAY! Happy boy.
We then went to the grocery store and home depot. I needed some CLR and we got her a stocking for Christmas too. This is the first holiday I have celebrated with someone in YEARS. How fucked up is that - YEARS. Meh, whatever, I am going to enjoy it. We picked up some salmon for dinner and came back home to relax.
After we got home my friend came over to say hi and we discussed how we feel about our director's drinking. We are very worried about her and are planning to take steps to help her. More to come on this as things progress.
Watched some Buffy, made dinner, and then she headed home around 8 to spend time with her mom. The kid worked from 5:30 until 11:30 and came home happy. She is really enjoying the new job. I am happy for her.
I played Skyrim until around midnight and then just woke up at 9:30. So far so good. Show tonight. Let's see how that is...
We then went to the grocery store and home depot. I needed some CLR and we got her a stocking for Christmas too. This is the first holiday I have celebrated with someone in YEARS. How fucked up is that - YEARS. Meh, whatever, I am going to enjoy it. We picked up some salmon for dinner and came back home to relax.
After we got home my friend came over to say hi and we discussed how we feel about our director's drinking. We are very worried about her and are planning to take steps to help her. More to come on this as things progress.
Watched some Buffy, made dinner, and then she headed home around 8 to spend time with her mom. The kid worked from 5:30 until 11:30 and came home happy. She is really enjoying the new job. I am happy for her.
I played Skyrim until around midnight and then just woke up at 9:30. So far so good. Show tonight. Let's see how that is...
Friday, November 25, 2011
Y3 D184
My Thanksgiving started off pretty shitty but ended on a real high note. Made me very thankful before the day was out.
I did in fact go to work yesterday. I was in the office from 6:15 until about 11:30. Not a full day, but given that it was a holiday, that's long enough for me. I was able to get something done because no one was around to change the spec or bug the shit out of me. I was the only person in the office out of five buildings. Not another single car in the lot nor any security even. It was a little creepy. It's one thing when it's a small office and you pop in when no one else is there but it's completely different when it's an entire office building complex. Weird. I was able to play my music without headphones and just dive into work. Man I got so much done being alone. THIS is why I like working from home normally. I don't have to deal with any distractions. But the upside is I get the expenses for going to the office. If I keep going solid like I have been, I will end the year either clean to the company or just a little under - like $200-$300 which is nothing off of $2300 they advanced me.
Got home around 12:30 and the kid was already gone. I haven't seen her since Wednesday night. I then dove into cleaning the house. A true top to bottom everything gets bleached cleaning. TGF and I exchanged a couple of texts but no conversations until later. From about 12:30 to 4:30 I went balls out cleaning every part of the house, doing laundry, and organizing. She called around that time and we talked for a while. Her family were all coming around 5:30 so we had a little while to talk which gave me some time to relax.
Through out the day I got a few texts wishing me a good holiday and to some I responded back with the truth - that I had worked, would be all alone, and probably not eating anything traditional for dinner. To others, I simply said thank you. The one that got me the most was one of my friends wrote a book of thanks on Facebook where he called people out by name. The things he said about me made me tear up a little. I always said, one of the reasons I do this is if I can reach one person to show them live goes on and they are not alone then it is all worth. I believe I did that. Plus he has touched me and shown me his strength and that when I am down I have people who are right there. He's a good guy, a good friend, and a good human being.
I decided to head out to see what was open for dinner. I was a bit disappointed as I was hoping Chinese food would be available but they were surprisingly closed. I ended up at Jack In the Box. Yeah, I know, but nothing else was open. Or at least nothing I felt like getting. Some restaurants were open but having had dinner out on Thanksgiving before, I know from experience most do a fix prix for the night or were just too crowded. Jack it was.
Came home, had dinner, watched Angel (Doyle died!!), dyed my hair, bleached the bathroom, and sat down for some Skyrim. Around 8 one of my friends texted me wanting to see if I wanted company. I said sure, bring pie. Right after TGF texted saying her family all was gone and she could come over. Sweet! The alone day would turn into a good night. TGF came over and two of my friends. We had pie, some cocktails, and played Bananagrams. It was a wonderful way to end the day and for that, I am thankful.
TGF is still in bed, the kid is still gone, the house is quiet. This day is looking pretty fucking good.
I did in fact go to work yesterday. I was in the office from 6:15 until about 11:30. Not a full day, but given that it was a holiday, that's long enough for me. I was able to get something done because no one was around to change the spec or bug the shit out of me. I was the only person in the office out of five buildings. Not another single car in the lot nor any security even. It was a little creepy. It's one thing when it's a small office and you pop in when no one else is there but it's completely different when it's an entire office building complex. Weird. I was able to play my music without headphones and just dive into work. Man I got so much done being alone. THIS is why I like working from home normally. I don't have to deal with any distractions. But the upside is I get the expenses for going to the office. If I keep going solid like I have been, I will end the year either clean to the company or just a little under - like $200-$300 which is nothing off of $2300 they advanced me.
Got home around 12:30 and the kid was already gone. I haven't seen her since Wednesday night. I then dove into cleaning the house. A true top to bottom everything gets bleached cleaning. TGF and I exchanged a couple of texts but no conversations until later. From about 12:30 to 4:30 I went balls out cleaning every part of the house, doing laundry, and organizing. She called around that time and we talked for a while. Her family were all coming around 5:30 so we had a little while to talk which gave me some time to relax.
Through out the day I got a few texts wishing me a good holiday and to some I responded back with the truth - that I had worked, would be all alone, and probably not eating anything traditional for dinner. To others, I simply said thank you. The one that got me the most was one of my friends wrote a book of thanks on Facebook where he called people out by name. The things he said about me made me tear up a little. I always said, one of the reasons I do this is if I can reach one person to show them live goes on and they are not alone then it is all worth. I believe I did that. Plus he has touched me and shown me his strength and that when I am down I have people who are right there. He's a good guy, a good friend, and a good human being.
I decided to head out to see what was open for dinner. I was a bit disappointed as I was hoping Chinese food would be available but they were surprisingly closed. I ended up at Jack In the Box. Yeah, I know, but nothing else was open. Or at least nothing I felt like getting. Some restaurants were open but having had dinner out on Thanksgiving before, I know from experience most do a fix prix for the night or were just too crowded. Jack it was.
Came home, had dinner, watched Angel (Doyle died!!), dyed my hair, bleached the bathroom, and sat down for some Skyrim. Around 8 one of my friends texted me wanting to see if I wanted company. I said sure, bring pie. Right after TGF texted saying her family all was gone and she could come over. Sweet! The alone day would turn into a good night. TGF came over and two of my friends. We had pie, some cocktails, and played Bananagrams. It was a wonderful way to end the day and for that, I am thankful.
TGF is still in bed, the kid is still gone, the house is quiet. This day is looking pretty fucking good.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Y3 D183
I wish I could say I was writing this from home, but I'm not. I am in the office right now typing away at 6:20am. I will explain more tomorrow.
Yesterday was rougher than I thought it was going to be. I kept acting like my brother wasn't bothering me but it was constantly lurking beneath the surface of everything I did and said. It was always there like an itch you can't quite reach.
Went into work and thought I was going to make some progress until they decided to change everything on me once more. I had explained to them that their initial design wasn't going to work and had asked last week for some specific changes to tighten things up. They were supposed to get them to me by Monday morning which turned into 11:30 Tuesday night. Fine. I come in yesterday and realize their changes are nowhere near what I asked for in terms of reducing the size of things and they go off to a room for two hours and come back with something even worse. This is the design I have to implement today. WTF?
I banged my head for 10 hours yesterday and got through about half of what they want. I *think* I can hit 75-80% of what they want within the limits of the tool, but we shall see if that is acceptable. I doubt it will be but whatever.
I also got a call from our sales guy yesterday. It looks like the minute this project rolls, I am off to New York to start a new one. The upside is I will be in New York for like 3 or 4 days for a kickoff only and then able to work out of the office in the city. Back to taking the train in the mornings which isn't bad. Much better than the commute I have right now.
Stopped at the store on the way home because I needed basic boring stuff like toilet paper, razors, etc. The store was surprisingly less crowded than I expected. I was in and out pretty quick. Got home around 6 and picked the kid up at work. She had her first full day at the new job and really enjoyed it. She is feeling much more comfortable with this one.
We got home and I made us some hamburgers and fries. A basic meal. We watched a Buffy and an X-Files. Yes, we finally got back into X-Files. Only 81 episodes to go. Jeez. My friend came over last night to grab cookies that I have made for today. I was supposed to be at their gathering tonight and had baked. Cest la vie. We talked for a little while and then I played Skyrim until TGF called around 10:30. We talked for about a half hour and then sleep. I went to bed normal because I have to treat today as 'normal' not only for my client but also for my sanity...
Yesterday was rougher than I thought it was going to be. I kept acting like my brother wasn't bothering me but it was constantly lurking beneath the surface of everything I did and said. It was always there like an itch you can't quite reach.
Went into work and thought I was going to make some progress until they decided to change everything on me once more. I had explained to them that their initial design wasn't going to work and had asked last week for some specific changes to tighten things up. They were supposed to get them to me by Monday morning which turned into 11:30 Tuesday night. Fine. I come in yesterday and realize their changes are nowhere near what I asked for in terms of reducing the size of things and they go off to a room for two hours and come back with something even worse. This is the design I have to implement today. WTF?
I banged my head for 10 hours yesterday and got through about half of what they want. I *think* I can hit 75-80% of what they want within the limits of the tool, but we shall see if that is acceptable. I doubt it will be but whatever.
I also got a call from our sales guy yesterday. It looks like the minute this project rolls, I am off to New York to start a new one. The upside is I will be in New York for like 3 or 4 days for a kickoff only and then able to work out of the office in the city. Back to taking the train in the mornings which isn't bad. Much better than the commute I have right now.
Stopped at the store on the way home because I needed basic boring stuff like toilet paper, razors, etc. The store was surprisingly less crowded than I expected. I was in and out pretty quick. Got home around 6 and picked the kid up at work. She had her first full day at the new job and really enjoyed it. She is feeling much more comfortable with this one.
We got home and I made us some hamburgers and fries. A basic meal. We watched a Buffy and an X-Files. Yes, we finally got back into X-Files. Only 81 episodes to go. Jeez. My friend came over last night to grab cookies that I have made for today. I was supposed to be at their gathering tonight and had baked. Cest la vie. We talked for a little while and then I played Skyrim until TGF called around 10:30. We talked for about a half hour and then sleep. I went to bed normal because I have to treat today as 'normal' not only for my client but also for my sanity...
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Y3 D182
In 13 hours it will be one year since my brother died. Fuck me.
Had an extremely stressful day at work yesterday which is not going to get any better today. So much in fact that I am thinking about working tomorrow too just to get ahead. This fucking place sucks. My mood sucks right now. I asked them to do something yesterday in order to reduce the complexity of their requests to able to deliver something that actually works and instead I get this mess that is more complicated than the original design. What the fuck people, are you that stupid? Apparently. The human brain's capacity for stupidity never ceases to amaze me.
Which really sucks because my day started with a text from TGF at 5:45. Her period hit and she was awake and she knew I would be too.
Got home and decided to cook a real dinner since I won't see either the kid or TGF tonight or tomorrow. The kid has her first full day at work today and TGF has dance. Then on Thursday they are both off doing their thing. TGF came over last night and we had cornish game hens, sauteed carrots, sliced tomatoes, and homemade mashed potatoes. We then relaxed and watch House followed by a 1/2 a Buffy and an Angel. We need to get back the X-Files at some point. Still have 100 episodes to go. For the benefit of TGF we discussed rewatching all of Twin Peaks. Not sure I can do it again, but what the hell. And these are the reasons why I am so close to canceling regular broadcast television. With the exception of:
- House
- Always Sunny
- Supernatural
- Big Bang Theory
- Simpsons/Family Guy/American Dad
- Bones
Um... that's about it? Oh and Runway. I don't watch much more than that. Are 8 shows worth $75 a month? That's almost $10 a show. I can get a whole season off one of my multiple devices cheaper than that. I need to pull the fucking plug but my mind is so warped that I can't do it. Ugh.
TGF took two midol prior to us starting to watch TV which sent her into the floopy zone by the time we went to bed around 11. I fell right asleep but she was wide awake. Around 12:30 she woke me up and we cuddled and just kind of held each other until she fell asleep around 1. I was right behind her. When the alarm when off this morning I didn't want to move. The kid is taking today off, TGF has no classes, there is no one here in the office... F. M. L.
Had an extremely stressful day at work yesterday which is not going to get any better today. So much in fact that I am thinking about working tomorrow too just to get ahead. This fucking place sucks. My mood sucks right now. I asked them to do something yesterday in order to reduce the complexity of their requests to able to deliver something that actually works and instead I get this mess that is more complicated than the original design. What the fuck people, are you that stupid? Apparently. The human brain's capacity for stupidity never ceases to amaze me.
Which really sucks because my day started with a text from TGF at 5:45. Her period hit and she was awake and she knew I would be too.
Got home and decided to cook a real dinner since I won't see either the kid or TGF tonight or tomorrow. The kid has her first full day at work today and TGF has dance. Then on Thursday they are both off doing their thing. TGF came over last night and we had cornish game hens, sauteed carrots, sliced tomatoes, and homemade mashed potatoes. We then relaxed and watch House followed by a 1/2 a Buffy and an Angel. We need to get back the X-Files at some point. Still have 100 episodes to go. For the benefit of TGF we discussed rewatching all of Twin Peaks. Not sure I can do it again, but what the hell. And these are the reasons why I am so close to canceling regular broadcast television. With the exception of:
- House
- Always Sunny
- Supernatural
- Big Bang Theory
- Simpsons/Family Guy/American Dad
- Bones
Um... that's about it? Oh and Runway. I don't watch much more than that. Are 8 shows worth $75 a month? That's almost $10 a show. I can get a whole season off one of my multiple devices cheaper than that. I need to pull the fucking plug but my mind is so warped that I can't do it. Ugh.
TGF took two midol prior to us starting to watch TV which sent her into the floopy zone by the time we went to bed around 11. I fell right asleep but she was wide awake. Around 12:30 she woke me up and we cuddled and just kind of held each other until she fell asleep around 1. I was right behind her. When the alarm when off this morning I didn't want to move. The kid is taking today off, TGF has no classes, there is no one here in the office... F. M. L.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Y3 D181
Yesterday ended up being all over the map. That headache I had just persisted all day as an underlying throb in my head. I took 500mg of Tylenol at some point and that helped, but it didn't get rid of it completely. I am wondering if it is partial eye strain. The doctor gave me new contacts but after checking them, she decided to order me the right eye in a slightly stronger script. So while I have contacts in right now, they are actually a little weaker in the right eye than she wanted which may be part of the strain. Also she showed me the difference with a +1 reading glass and I went from 20/25 to 20/20. This may all be self-inflicted. I will probably stop at Walgreens or some place to get some reading glasses for during the day to see if that helps. I have been fighting them forever but I can't take the headaches either.
Had a small battle with the client yesterday. I was on them last week to give me some direction regarding a particular issue and I kept getting pushed to the back burner. Yesterday morning I told them we had to deal with it otherwise their timeline was going to be impacted. That changed everything. Next thing you know I am in a two hour meeting and being blamed for not being done even though I have the email thread showing that I was asking for their direction last week. The one thing that pissed me off during that meeting was when the PM flat out said "Well it doesn't matter your schedule you will work around us". Excuse you? This is a holiday week. Which I probably won't get because she also made it clear that I am expected to be here Friday even if they are not. My bosses can kiss my ass. I will never work at this client again. And they seriously owe me for this shit. When this project is over I am going to be all over them for a recuperation weekend on the house.
Speaking of 'owing' the company, I did some math yesterday. The one upside to this project is that I am almost even on the expense advance I had to take. If I stay on this project through the end of the year, I will be only like $300 shy of what I owe them. This is a positive.
Got home after grabbing some groceries. TGF had dance and she called before she went off. She was having dinner with a friend after dance and she wanted to call before since she would be home late. She was being thoughtful because she knew if she called at 11 or later I would be asleep already but would try to wake up for her and then be grumpy. She is learning. Well done grasshopper.
Made pork chops for the kid and me. She had to watch a movie for her film class and then right a position on strong women in film. She chose to write about the end scene of Kill Bill 2. That's my girl.
While we were watching TV I got a text from T1. Her father passed away. I felt for her. She has been fighting this now for over a year I guess? How long ago did we date? Almost two years? Speaking of which, yesterday also marked the official two year mark of my divorce from X2 being final.
See? A major day without even being a major day.
And now on to Tuesday...
Had a small battle with the client yesterday. I was on them last week to give me some direction regarding a particular issue and I kept getting pushed to the back burner. Yesterday morning I told them we had to deal with it otherwise their timeline was going to be impacted. That changed everything. Next thing you know I am in a two hour meeting and being blamed for not being done even though I have the email thread showing that I was asking for their direction last week. The one thing that pissed me off during that meeting was when the PM flat out said "Well it doesn't matter your schedule you will work around us". Excuse you? This is a holiday week. Which I probably won't get because she also made it clear that I am expected to be here Friday even if they are not. My bosses can kiss my ass. I will never work at this client again. And they seriously owe me for this shit. When this project is over I am going to be all over them for a recuperation weekend on the house.
Speaking of 'owing' the company, I did some math yesterday. The one upside to this project is that I am almost even on the expense advance I had to take. If I stay on this project through the end of the year, I will be only like $300 shy of what I owe them. This is a positive.
Got home after grabbing some groceries. TGF had dance and she called before she went off. She was having dinner with a friend after dance and she wanted to call before since she would be home late. She was being thoughtful because she knew if she called at 11 or later I would be asleep already but would try to wake up for her and then be grumpy. She is learning. Well done grasshopper.
Made pork chops for the kid and me. She had to watch a movie for her film class and then right a position on strong women in film. She chose to write about the end scene of Kill Bill 2. That's my girl.
While we were watching TV I got a text from T1. Her father passed away. I felt for her. She has been fighting this now for over a year I guess? How long ago did we date? Almost two years? Speaking of which, yesterday also marked the official two year mark of my divorce from X2 being final.
See? A major day without even being a major day.
And now on to Tuesday...
Monday, November 21, 2011
Y3 D180
I have a splitting headache this morning and I don't know why. I didn't drink yesterday or party crazily. Hell I didn't do much of anything to be honest. TGF got about 9:45 and I made her breakfast before she had to leave for dance. From there it was a slow day. I watched Supernatural with the kid, had a taco salad for lunch, took a 2 hour nap, and played Skyrim. That was my whole day. I left the house once to get the taco salad otherwise my world was my couch, my controller, and the cat. So why then do I feel like I have a jackhammer splitting my head open this morning? I was in bed by 11. I slept for the most part okay. Is it because I don't want to be here today? Is it because I need another 12 hours of sleep to catch up on the last year? Wouldn't that be nice? Take like the last two weeks of the year and sleep 20 hours a day to make up for all the lost sleep? TGF called about 7:30 and we talked for over two hours. Does she realize how major that is? I like you so much I will talk to you on the phone for more than 10 minutes about absolutely nothing in particular. God it hurts. Making my eyes water. I hope this isn't a migraine. This day can't end quick enough.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Y3 D179
The year is just about halfway over. The blog year, not the calendar year. We are closing in on things. Like tomorrow -- the 2 1/2 year mark, and the official 2 year mark. Amazing. Where the fuck have the last two and a half years gone? Older, wiser, whatever? And then next Thursday, one year of my brother. Damn.
It's raining. It's been raining. Rained most of yesterday. Rain rain go away, come again some other day...
After everyone left yesterday around 11, I cleaned house. Cleaned the rats, cleaned the floors, cleaned. Purge. Clean. Bleach.
Had an eye appointment at 3:30 that took forever. My eyes are good. Slight update to my prescription but nothing to cause any alarm or concern. It's all good. New contacts will be here in a couple of days. Kid went with me because the eye doctor is in the mall where her new job is and she needed her schedule. She is going to be working 5:30pm to 1:30am Black Friday and then from 7:00pm to Midnight on Saturday. Welcome to retail kid.
TGF came over around 5ish. Her and I went to the store and got food for all. I made steaks, salad, and mac & cheese. It was good. We then watched In Time the semi-new movie. I didn't like it. Too many holes. Too many questions, not enough back story, too weak all around. Then we watched a Buffy and went to bed.
I am a little off today. Not sure why yet. Will think about. I hear TGF waking up...
It's raining. It's been raining. Rained most of yesterday. Rain rain go away, come again some other day...
After everyone left yesterday around 11, I cleaned house. Cleaned the rats, cleaned the floors, cleaned. Purge. Clean. Bleach.
Had an eye appointment at 3:30 that took forever. My eyes are good. Slight update to my prescription but nothing to cause any alarm or concern. It's all good. New contacts will be here in a couple of days. Kid went with me because the eye doctor is in the mall where her new job is and she needed her schedule. She is going to be working 5:30pm to 1:30am Black Friday and then from 7:00pm to Midnight on Saturday. Welcome to retail kid.
TGF came over around 5ish. Her and I went to the store and got food for all. I made steaks, salad, and mac & cheese. It was good. We then watched In Time the semi-new movie. I didn't like it. Too many holes. Too many questions, not enough back story, too weak all around. Then we watched a Buffy and went to bed.
I am a little off today. Not sure why yet. Will think about. I hear TGF waking up...
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