There is definitely a good reason why I post in the morning versus the night. If I had written this last night, the tone would be decidedly different. I am in a much lighter mood than I was before going to bed last night. Don't get me wrong, it's not like rainbows and kittens are coming out of my ass this morning, but I am feeling much less self loathing and hateful than I was last night.
It was just one of those days. I went to work at the client in the middle of nowhere only to have insufficient work. If they were right around the corner, I wouldn't mind because then I could just run home until they were ready for me. But no, here I have to make it look like I am occupied even though I am really twiddling my thumbs. It's annoying.
Came home too early. By too early I mean too much time to think. See I got offered tickets to a concert in the city last night from a friend. Free tickets. All I had to do was show up. I wanted to go, but not alone. I told him I would take the tickets and then tried to find someone to go with me. I don't know if it was because it was a Thursday or if it was because it was last minute, but I couldn't find anyone to go with me. Boy that did wonders for my ego. I ended up lying and telling the guy I had to work and he should offer the tickets to someone else.
This of course led into me thinking about the fact that it will six months in a couple of weeks. Six months since I have had any kind of human contact. Forget about sex - this has nothing to do with that. I haven't even kissed a person or held someone's hand in six fucking months. I must be a troll. There must be something wrong with me. No one should be this alone for this long.
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