Y10 D365

And there it is. 10 fucking years to the day. 10 years ago movers were at my house loading up my life and cramming me into a 2 bedroom apartment in the bowl. 10 years ago I started on a path of self discovery, self awareness, self loathing, and too often, self destruction.

But here we are. A decade later gentle reader. Still together and more importantly still alive. In a house. Granted, said house is in MI, but it's a house and it's a quarter of the price of what I had before while being a bigger size. Me and the cats were just watching the bunnies in the backyard nibbling on the grass.

Ten years. People have come, people have gone. I've bene skinny, I've been fat. At least I am not coughing up blood any more. That's a positive, right?

Still depressed. Whee. But hey, depression isn't something that can always be fixed. It has to be managed and treated, but not fixed. It's still a fight every day. Some days are better than others as you can see from this last week's posts. I have been in a bad spiral. I think it's been from being home and the thought of too much travel coming up in June. Catch-22. Don't want to stay home, don't want to spend every fucking week of my life on the road.

Ah but back to the present and the now. We went to a fair yesterday with B's dad, step-mom, and sisters. Not what I think of when I think fair. I am used to county fairs with 4H, and garden exhibits, and vendors. This was more focused on the rides and midway. A bit disappointing. Around here what I want is only at a few county fairs. There's one in July. We shall see how that one is in comparison. This one was also to fund a good cause - some Polish college/school. There was some good polish food there. I won't deny that.

I got B and her sisters wristbands and they went on every ride possible. It was nice seeing B smile and not be worried about everything.

We spent pretty much the good portion of the day there. When we got home we had leftovers. Around 9 we decided to head to Lowes. Once again B had a wild hair and wanted a grill. Sigh. We got a really nice charbroil that was $120 off for the holiday weekend. I couldn't fit it pre-built so that's my project this morning. Going to go build it in the garage. Wish me luck on that.

So far this weekend has been pretty good. Better than the one I had 10 years ago, that's for sure.