The end of an era. I had hoped that this year was going to end boring and dull. HA. What a fool I am.
I am in a conflicted state of mind today. I am here so yay? My sister is worse off than she has let on so that makes me very sad. We talked a lot last night and I learned a few things about her condition, the severity of it, etc. While we were at dinner she started having these mini seizures and I started to freak out but my BIL was like, we just have to ride it out. After dinner I went over to their place and she shared with me just how bad it's getting. Last night apparently was a good night. That's scary. It makes me glad I made this trip and am here for her.
On the homefront, B is having brunch with her crush on saturday. It was supposed to be a group thing but turned into a solo. This is why the anxiety is flooding me this morning. Good times. I don't expect them to act on anything, but I am still hurting. At some point I need a good cry. I just do. WHY IS MY LIFE SO FUCKED UP? Why couldn't I have just had a normal boring life? JFC I am losing it right now. I was doing fine and now I am a mess. Fuck.
What a great fucking way to end the year. Good fucking times.
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