Y13 D363

Less than 24 hours until I leave! WOO! Only have to be up today for a few hours. I can do this. I can make it through and get some space and distance from things. Both of which are needed right now.

I taught again yesterday from 10-4, had indian food with B, then went to group while their aunt came over to talk. B didn't share much with me about what happened with the talk, but I guess that's okay? I don't know. If I dwell on it, the anxiety starts up again so how about I don't dwell on it? Just focus on getting through the day. Priorities.

As for my new group, well that was pretty cool. 20+ people. 15 transwomen, 3 spouses, 2 transman, 2 non binary. Age range was from 20 - 70. Okay, 67 but close enough. People at so many different places on their journey. From just starting out to having surgeries scheduled and everything in between. The thing that hit me the most was listening to some of the stories people shared. Another new group member was telling about how their spouse called all of the family and outed them without consent, kicked them into the guest room, and won't let the kids near them. Just heartbreaking. At the same time, sitting across from me is a couple married for a decade who are happier than they've ever been. So yeah, it was nice hearing real world issues from real adults. My last group was okay but everyone was so young that I felt like their parent. Here I feel like one of the group. I will definitely be going back.

B and I also discussed that while I am gone we will both be writing down our boundaries. We will be putting down why the boundary is important, what it means to us, and when it should be revisited. We will then take that and compare our lists when I get back. We will take it from there.

I won't lie - there's a small part of me hoping there's a huge COVID spike in the next few weeks that makes all this moot as we have to shut back down and hide back in the house. I know that's a fucked up selfish thing to say, but it's the truth. Another pandemic would be awesome for me right now. Yep. That's me.

Hey, remember when this blog was boring? Now look at us go! Back to drama, excitement, and tales of horror! Good fucking times.

Someone must have wished for me to live in interesting times, eh?