I have very supportive friends. Thank god for that. But yet what damage am I doing to them? I am a destroyer. I am ruiner. Midas had a touch of gold, I have a touch of shit. I break. I hurt. You wonder why I like NIN lyrics so much? Because they are true. Everyone I know goes away in the end. You can have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.
Time doesn't move backwards unfortunately. Only forwards. Only closer to the abyss and the hole. To the grave of worms and dirt. There is no escape. There is no magic way to turn it all back and undo every increasingly bad decision I have ever made.
I sit in the dark because it's where I belong. Alone in the dark. Waiting for the inevitable. Waiting for the last moments of light to be taken away from me.
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