Y4 D272

Back home, alone. A full day back in my normal setting and it feels so empty. I taught from 7-3 yesterday which filled a good portion of the day. I kept having internet problems during the class which I attributed to my dying router. After class I said the hell with it and went to Best Buy and bought a new netgear dual band 600 router. The shit did hit the fan a little on B's side yesterday. Her mother who was originally calm about things exploded. She wants to run a background check on me. I am totally good with that. I have nothing to hide. Actually I would be curious to see what it says myself. After Best Buy I went to the pub because I needed to mull over her mother's insanity and frankly I wanted a burger and a drink so I could knock myself out and sleep. The kid dropped me off and ten minutes later called to tell me I had taken the house key and she couldn't get in. Come back I told her and when she did she came into the pub and said "screw it. I'm not going tonight order me food". Yes ma'am. We sat and ate and headed home around 7. Got home and I wrote a very long email to B's mother. I told her about me, my past, and why I was interested in her daughter. I let B read it first and offer edits before sending.

One thing I noticed while writing it was that if you go back and read this blog, while I was with XGF I was constantly second guessing our relationship. I was constantly coming down on myself for being with someone younger. I don't feel that with B. I don't know if it is her maturity level or if I really do feel like I found a partner or both. Probably both. All I know is when we were together I didn't feel like the old man with the young girl. I didn't feel guilty. I had no problem writing her mom. Matter of fact, I am extremely happy and proud of B for telling her mom at all. We are months away from things being solid and yet she is willing to suffer through any wrath or bad feelings that will be in that house until then. That's dedication and love. That's for sure.

I don't know where I am going with this. My head is a jumble today. I have work to do though and that will keep me focused. I need to focus.