Y4 D265

One more day. This time tomorrow I will be in the air and on my way to MI to be with B. Live and in person for five days. We are both as nervous as a cat on a porch full of rocking chairs. Or worse two virgins on prom night. Funny, I am probably going to have a lot of sex over the next five days but that's not what this trip is about. It's about being face to face to see if we are about to change our lives forever. More important than sex.

BUT speaking of sex, SG was on the prowl yesterday. I don't mean that to be a dick though. She was going through some self doubt and dark times yesterday and wanted an anchor. I am always the white knight even when I shouldn't be, aren't I? She was lamenting that she would no longer have me in her life. I told her that wasn't true, but I couldn't be her puppet or toy. I would always be her friend, just not her bitch waiting in the shadows to get whatever scraps of emotion she felt like throwing my way.

I am too damn needy and emotionally damaged to accept that kind of relationship. It would be easy to accept it because it really required very little effort on my part, but it was also very unsatisfying for me. It made her happy, but definitely was destructive for me. I do feel for her. And maybe if things had been different. But they aren't. Plus I think she is also experiencing a lot of 'I want what I can't have' and not the true emotions she seems to think she for me. I find it flattering she thinks she wants me, but once more, she wants the idea, the mythos, but not the reality.

Worked on three different clients yesterday. More importantly I got an email from our sales VP. Turns out two of the students on Thursday and Friday's class work for a company we have been trying to get into for years. No matter how much effort the sales team put in, no dice. Two days of training with me? BAM they want ME onsite to help them rebuild things. Specifically, they want ME. No other consultant is acceptable. We are doing a prelim meeting on Friday morning since I will be EST just like the client. Then it looks like the week of 3/4 I will spend a week in MN rebuilding their model. Yeah, there's a reason why my cards say Rockstar.... If this comes to fruition the downside is I am looking at back to back trips of MI, PA, MN, and OH. 20,000 miles in less than 4 weeks. But that will make up for the points I am using for this trip, and it will give me some good hotel points for a Disney trip in March.

Worked on my puzzle while watching Batman in the evening. Almost through season 2. Man that is a damn good show. Kevin Conroy is Batman. He is the perfect blend of playboy and dark knight. Talked to B throughout the day, was in bed by 11. Tonight is an early night as I have to be up at 3 tomorrow.