Y4 D280

I didn't sleep well last night. Not that I slept bad when I slept, it's just that my sleep was very disturbed last night. I went to bed a little before 11 and awoke at 12am thinking it was five but knowing it definitely wasn't five. Tossed and turned, woke up at 2, woke up again at 3, and then again at 6. Just a restless night.

Highlights from yesterday... Class was fine. Long grueling day in terms of material, but not a bad day. We got stuff done, we got through the material, and everyone learned something. From that aspect everything was fine. It's just it was tough material yesterday and it weighs down. Got back to the hotel around 6:30, had a drink and a burger and was in the room by 8. Watched HIMYM. I am all caught up to the current episode. I like taking stuff like that on the road with me. Gets me all caught up in one fell swoop. I am saving BBT for MO. I should have almost the entire season by then.

B had a rough night last night. We talked on the phone for about an hour. I actually admitted something to her that (not counting all of you because I am now typing it here which means you will know too) I have admitted to anyone. The last three days she has been staying with her godmother because she had throat surgery and needed someone around the house. This has been rough because her godmother is also her ex-fiance's mother. It's like constant barrage of memories. Last night they went and ran some errands which included swinging by his house. That was rough on her. Not that she wants him, but that  it brings up all the memories that she has tried to close the door on. But when things get thrown at you it hurts. She was trying to explain all this and I stopped her because I know exactly what she means. People always ask me why I don't go to DisneyWorld. I always have some scripted polite answer about how I feel it's too big, too crowded, etc. Truth is? Going to DisneyWorld has been one of my dreams since I was like 12 years old. BUT I won't go now. Because it's in FL. And being in FL no matter how remote the chances are of running into her, puts me too near X2's proximity. I know it is completely irrational but being in FL would just have me seeing her on every corner, in every restaurant, etc. I can't handle that. So yeah, I know exactly what she means. You take different routes home because you don't want to pass that one restaurant the two of you ate it. You avoid movies with certain actors because of that time you saw that great movie together. You avoid entire states... I get it.

That did make her feel better. Made her feel a little less irrational about the whole thing. Calmed her down too. Maybe some day I can lose the irrational part but until then, FL? FL isn't a real state...